Hey there Dnd community. I'm back again with another Homebrew race. This time around it was a collaboration with my friend, Qaz, to create a race based off of an uncommon animal that has traits of being powerful, majestic, proud, and bold. Eventually, we landed on the Otter, and so we created a race. The race is still a work in progress, however feedback would be great for making the race an enjoyable addition for everybody. Without further delay, here is a link to the current version of the race on dandwiki:
I've been working on an otter race for a while, based on the ones from Redwall. Yours seems relatively balanced, but it desperately needs clearer definitions and standardized capitalization.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
"Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both" -- allegedly Benjamin Franklin
Thank you for the feedback. I'm not super certain of what to revise to make it more clear, but I will be reading the descriptions of other races and etcetera to try and get an idea of such.
I'd also like to check out your race, I feel like it is very interesting. Do you have any links?
Modified descriptions to be more easily read and understood.
Modified ability descriptions to be more literal and standard.
I did this because some people explained to me that it may be difficult for some to understand the meaning of some of my writing.
Added random height/weight table.
Some might like this more than text which states limits.
Buffed 'Lucky Rock' changing the use being from luck rolls to all D100 rolls.
I was told by a DM, and in my own experience playtesting that there are not enough luck rolls for this to be as powerful as it ought to be, so I made this change.
Nerfed 'Poor Metabolism' with the addition of arcane poisons to the negative part of the ability.
I received a complaint about an argument that a player and DM had about poisons and this trait. I wouldn't call this a clearer explanation; rather a nerf that I think may balance this otherwise very powerful race.
Nerfed 'Aquatic Advantage' forcing the player to spend an extra turn in the water to get the full effect.
This was abused and was clearly very powerful.
Added a sentence about a cultural divide.
I added an excuse for players who choose to play this race to join up with larger parties for long periods of time.
"Your base walking speed is 45 feet. You also swim at a speed of 55 feet." That is a mistake. It may be an intentional mistake, but it is a mistake.
Proficiency in Charisma saving throws? I don't think so; I'm pretty sure there's a (probably unwritten) rule that races don't grant saving throw proficiencies.
Please, please read up on the difference between a player and a character.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
"Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both" -- allegedly Benjamin Franklin
I'm certain of the difference between the player and character. I think the main problem here is how I wrote. For example, I wrote a description of each racial trait before explaining the effect on "the player" rather than "you". I do however see how in official races, the effect is written as a description or as an effect entirely.
Clarified that the race has claws. See new racial trait below.
More history
To expand upon the 'cultural divide' which was added in the prior update.
Age
Rewrote age in a more standard form.
Size
The minimum size and maximum size were decreased to make the Lutrinae'l less giant, this was a suggestion.
Speed
As seen above, Matthias mentioned that the speed might be much greater than it ought to fairly be. Though I still want the race to be very fast I agree with him, and greatly lowered the movement speed of the Lutrinae'l.
Majestic Patterns
Once again, as mentioned above, having a proficiency in a saving throw is abnormal. I removed this. I also rewrote this using "you" rather than "[the] Lutrinae'l".
Aquatic Advantage
I rewrote this using "you" rather than "[the] Lutrinae'l".
Poor Metabolism
With the addition of another trait (see below) I nerfed this trait; rather than only poison-related arcana, all arcana is affected by this. Healing potions, however are no longer negated, they are halved.
Lucky Rock
I rewrote this using "you" rather than "[the] Lutrinae'l".
Instinctual Hunter
It was pointed out to me, by somebody who playtested the race that it was lacking hunter features, though it is a hunting race. I agreed and added this feature (proficiency in Perception, and Survival ). (I am not sure if it was alright to increase passive perception)
Claws
The race has claws and I completely overlooked this. My pal, Qaz pointed this out (however late) and we added it to the race. This is reflected in the Physical description's update.
When a particular damage is doubled, we say you have vulnerability to that damage. Limited Amphibiousness should be renamed Hold Breath, take a look Lizardfolk for formatting.
Take a look at Tritons, perhaps OP but they are definitely in the same vein as the Lutrinae'l
"The relevant equation is: Knowledge = power = energy = matter = mass; a good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read." - Terry Pratchett
I've already cleaned a ton of it up, if you didn't choose to move forwards to the homebrewery link which I placed at the bottom of the page, which you can find here. I did much balancing with the help of some more experienced homebrew makers. That being said, I initially had the ability, Limited Amphibiousness written as simply Amphibious; however I was told by a couple people that I should change the ability from "You can hold your breath..." to "You can be submerged..." which is apparently drastically different.
Well, they do mean different things. As you are talking about half otter half man creatures it makes more sense to say “Hold Breath. You can hold your breath for 1 hour at a time.” This the same wording used in another semi amphibious race, the Lizardfolk. The poison vulnerability comment still stands.
"The relevant equation is: Knowledge = power = energy = matter = mass; a good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read." - Terry Pratchett
Say "you have vulnerability to __ damage", not "you take double __ damage". Lutrinae’l have vulnerability to poison damage and Volante have vulnerability to cold damage.
Why? Because vulnerability doesn't stack (and because "you have vulnerability to __ damage" is the official phrasing).
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
"Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both" -- allegedly Benjamin Franklin
This is awesome could you possibly put into the homebrew community section. I'd love to use this for a character I have inspiration to make thanks to the new MTG set bloombourough (may spelt that wrong)
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
To post a comment, please login or register a new account.
Hey there Dnd community. I'm back again with another Homebrew race. This time around it was a collaboration with my friend, Qaz, to create a race based off of an uncommon animal that has traits of being powerful, majestic, proud, and bold. Eventually, we landed on the Otter, and so we created a race. The race is still a work in progress, however feedback would be great for making the race an enjoyable addition for everybody. Without further delay, here is a link to the current version of the race on dandwiki:
http://dandwiki.com/wiki/Lutrinae'l
Thanks.
Edit: Aah typo in the title.
I've been working on an otter race for a while, based on the ones from Redwall. Yours seems relatively balanced, but it desperately needs clearer definitions and standardized capitalization.
"Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both" -- allegedly Benjamin Franklin
Tooltips (Help/aid)
Thank you for the feedback. I'm not super certain of what to revise to make it more clear, but I will be reading the descriptions of other races and etcetera to try and get an idea of such.
I'd also like to check out your race, I feel like it is very interesting. Do you have any links?
Race update:
Summary of changes:
I did this because some people explained to me that it may be difficult for some to understand the meaning of some of my writing.
Some might like this more than text which states limits.
I was told by a DM, and in my own experience playtesting that there are not enough luck rolls for this to be as powerful as it ought to be, so I made this change.
I received a complaint about an argument that a player and DM had about poisons and this trait. I wouldn't call this a clearer explanation; rather a nerf that I think may balance this otherwise very powerful race.
This was abused and was clearly very powerful.
I added an excuse for players who choose to play this race to join up with larger parties for long periods of time.
For those interested, here is a detailed changelog
"Your base walking speed is 45 feet. You also swim at a speed of 55 feet." That is a mistake. It may be an intentional mistake, but it is a mistake.
Proficiency in Charisma saving throws? I don't think so; I'm pretty sure there's a (probably unwritten) rule that races don't grant saving throw proficiencies.
Please, please read up on the difference between a player and a character.
"Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both" -- allegedly Benjamin Franklin
Tooltips (Help/aid)
Ah I must be oblivious. Is it supposed to be
"Speed: x ft
Swim: x ft" ?
I'm certain of the difference between the player and character. I think the main problem here is how I wrote. For example, I wrote a description of each racial trait before explaining the effect on "the player" rather than "you". I do however see how in official races, the effect is written as a description or as an effect entirely.
The only thing that has a speed higher than 35 feet is the aarakocra.
"Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both" -- allegedly Benjamin Franklin
Tooltips (Help/aid)
Race Update, Summary of Changes:
Clarified that the race has claws. See new racial trait below.
To expand upon the 'cultural divide' which was added in the prior update.
Rewrote age in a more standard form.
The minimum size and maximum size were decreased to make the Lutrinae'l less giant, this was a suggestion.
As seen above, Matthias mentioned that the speed might be much greater than it ought to fairly be. Though I still want the race to be very fast I agree with him, and greatly lowered the movement speed of the Lutrinae'l.
Once again, as mentioned above, having a proficiency in a saving throw is abnormal. I removed this. I also rewrote this using "you" rather than "[the] Lutrinae'l".
I rewrote this using "you" rather than "[the] Lutrinae'l".
With the addition of another trait (see below) I nerfed this trait; rather than only poison-related arcana, all arcana is affected by this. Healing potions, however are no longer negated, they are halved.
I rewrote this using "you" rather than "[the] Lutrinae'l".
It was pointed out to me, by somebody who playtested the race that it was lacking hunter features, though it is a hunting race. I agreed and added this feature (proficiency in Perception, and Survival ). (I am not sure if it was alright to increase passive perception)
The race has claws and I completely overlooked this. My pal, Qaz pointed this out (however late) and we added it to the race. This is reflected in the Physical description's update.
Some D&D grammar as well as a suggestion
When a particular damage is doubled, we say you have vulnerability to that damage. Limited Amphibiousness should be renamed Hold Breath, take a look Lizardfolk for formatting.
Take a look at Tritons, perhaps OP but they are definitely in the same vein as the Lutrinae'l
Tooltips | Snippet Code | How to Homebrew on D&D Beyond | Subclass Guide | Feature Roadmap
Astromancer's Homebrew Assembly
"The relevant equation is: Knowledge = power = energy = matter = mass; a good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read." - Terry Pratchett
I've already cleaned a ton of it up, if you didn't choose to move forwards to the homebrewery link which I placed at the bottom of the page, which you can find here. I did much balancing with the help of some more experienced homebrew makers. That being said, I initially had the ability, Limited Amphibiousness written as simply Amphibious; however I was told by a couple people that I should change the ability from "You can hold your breath..." to "You can be submerged..." which is apparently drastically different.
Well, they do mean different things. As you are talking about half otter half man creatures it makes more sense to say “Hold Breath. You can hold your breath for 1 hour at a time.” This the same wording used in another semi amphibious race, the Lizardfolk. The poison vulnerability comment still stands.
Tooltips | Snippet Code | How to Homebrew on D&D Beyond | Subclass Guide | Feature Roadmap
Astromancer's Homebrew Assembly
"The relevant equation is: Knowledge = power = energy = matter = mass; a good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read." - Terry Pratchett
Say "you have vulnerability to __ damage", not "you take double __ damage". Lutrinae’l have vulnerability to poison damage and Volante have vulnerability to cold damage.
Why? Because vulnerability doesn't stack (and because "you have vulnerability to __ damage" is the official phrasing).
"Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both" -- allegedly Benjamin Franklin
Tooltips (Help/aid)
Thanks for the clearification fellas. I will be sure to update this later today.
This is awesome could you possibly put into the homebrew community section. I'd love to use this for a character I have inspiration to make thanks to the new MTG set bloombourough (may spelt that wrong)