So this is the first real homebrew subclass I've ever done, and I'd like some feedback. It's for my home game, and the idea is that there is a kingdom that doesn't like or trust magic users - primarily because they can shape reality to their whim and can't be controlled. Thus The Order is made, a tried and tested group who have been deemed loyal enough and worthy enough to wield magic. They're kind of a mix between the Technocracy from Mage: The Ascension and the Templars from Dragon Age.
Here's what I've got so far.
The Pact of Order
Where others bargained for power for their own selfish ends, you were granted yours for your honor and determination as you became a member of The Order. Using powers granted by the mysterious means of your brotherhood, you have a duty to root out the wielders of arcane magic deemed a threat by your fellows.
You could be an inquisitor of an empire that is fearful of magic, or seeks to keep it under their thumb. With power confiscated from one of the so-called "arcane deviants", you have been deemed a trusted tool to execute your master's will.
You could also be a member of an ancient knightly order, safeguarding the realm against arcane threats and magical beasts by drawing strength from a mysterious artifact.
No matter their origin, members of this Pact are relentless protectors against the mysterious, chaotic and overwhelming powers spawned from magic.
Expanded Spell List
1st Detect Magic, Protection from Evil and Good
2nd Silence, Zone of Truth
3rd Protection from Energy, Bestow Curse
4th Watery Sphere, Locate Creature
5th Dispel Evil and Good, Teleportation Circle
Order's Brand
Starting at first level, you can mark a target you can see within 60 feet of you with an arcane brand as a bonus action. While your quarry is marked you know the distance and direction to the target even if it is hidden. The sigil can't be seen by anyone but you and those with truesight.
As a bonus action, you can dismiss the mark. It also automatically dispelled if you and the target are on different planes of existence, if you're incapacitated, or if dispel magic, remove curse, or similar magic is used on the target.
At 6th level, your attunement to the brand deepens. The branded target can't gain the benefits of half cover or three-quarters cover against your attack rolls.
(Cribbed from the Hexblade UA, I thought it worked well for the inquisitor-y aspect of the Pact)
Order's Relentlessness
Starting at 6th level, your Order has bestowed upon you the ability to overcome the defenses of your arcane foes. When you cast a spell, you can choose for it's damage to ignore resistances or impose disadvantage on the target's saving throw. You may use this feature once per short or long rest
Order's Fortitude
At 10th level, you've learned to protect yourself against your foes favoured tricks. You gain resistance to fire and electric damage. (This I'm the least happy with since it's pretty vanilla. It does make sense from a practical perspective, since fireball and lightning bolt are such staples.)
Order's Retribution
At 14th level, you can use your Order's Brand to attack the body and mind of your foes. As an action, if your Branded target is within 60 feet of you and you can see them, you can force the target of your brand to make a Constitution saving throw against your spell save DC as tendrils of lightning course through them. On a failed save, the target immediately takes 6d10 lightning damage and half that damage again at the start of their next turn. On a successful save, the target immediately takes half damage and suffers no further effect.
Additionally, if the target fails the saving throw, they must make another Constitution saving throw against your spell save DC on the first spell they cast in the next 30 secondsminute. On a failed save, the spell fails and on a successful save there is no effect. Once you use this feature, you may not use it again until you finish a long rest. (No idea if this is decent or crappy, but it fits in theme and makes use of the Brand from earlier)
Not bad. You may need to explain to me what Order's Relentlessness looks like.
For Order's Fortitude, consider allowing them to pick two from acid, cold, fire, lightning, poison, and thunder. This gives more variety to what they can get and allows for more specific bonuses. Consider a player who has been in a swamp environment for much of their campaign. Resistance to poison and acid damage are going to be far more helpful to that player than resistance to fire and lightning. Or you could have it grant something similar to what Abjuration wizards get at 14th level.
"The relevant equation is: Knowledge = power = energy = matter = mass; a good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read." - Terry Pratchett
I'm thinking of reworking it so that the Brand is the first ability you get, and the other skills stem from that. So something like Order's Relentlessness can only be invoked on a Branded target. I may also tie in Fortitude into it as well.
"The relevant equation is: Knowledge = power = energy = matter = mass; a good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read." - Terry Pratchett
Starting at first level, your Order has bestowed upon you the ability to overcome the defenses of your arcane foes. When you cast a spell, you can choose for it's damage to ignore resistances or impose disadvantage on the target's saving throw. You may use this feature a number of times equal to your charisma modifier, after which you can't use it again until you finish a short or long rest. (Thinking of making this just once a per short or long rest)
I would make it either once per short or long rest OR charisma modifier uses per long rest. Given most Warlocks will have 2-3 spell slots that recharge on a short rest and the go to cantrip deals force damage, which is an incredibly rare resistance to have, having charisma uses per short rest would guarantee that it could be used on every single non-cantrip spell cast and would make it OP as a 1st level ability. Making it charisma uses per long rest would require some strategic thought and IMO would make it more balanced, especially if moved to 6th level.
I like that! Good flavor and synergistic! For Order's Relentlessness, maybe go with something along the lines of
When you hit a branded target with a magical attack, you can choose to ignore the target's resistances.
As paladins are not exclusively magic based, this gives them more utility.
It does look like a paladin subclass, doesn't it? Thing is, the levels it gets stuff at (and the expanded spell list) mark it as a warlock subclass.
It does function quite like a paladin, however there really isn't an arcane equivalent to them. I could try to make it a paladin subclass, but the switch from divine to arcane is daunting and I'd have to rework enough abilities that it would become it's own class. Besides, I like the larger spell list and inquisitor-y feel from the Warlock.
Starting at first level, your Order has bestowed upon you the ability to overcome the defenses of your arcane foes. When you cast a spell, you can choose for it's damage to ignore resistances or impose disadvantage on the target's saving throw. You may use this feature a number of times equal to your charisma modifier, after which you can't use it again until you finish a short or long rest. (Thinking of making this just once a per short or long rest)
I would make it either once per short or long rest OR charisma modifier uses per long rest. Given most Warlocks will have 2-3 spell slots that recharge on a short rest and the go to cantrip deals force damage, which is an incredibly rare resistance to have, having charisma uses per short rest would guarantee that it could be used on every single non-cantrip spell cast and would make it OP as a 1st level ability. Making it charisma uses per long rest would require some strategic thought and IMO would make it more balanced, especially if moved to 6th level.
I'll take it into account going forward. For now, I'm keeping it at level 1 and limiting it's uses to 1 per long rest, upped to 2 at 10th level.
I think it would work better flavour-wise if I switched the 1st and 3rd level abilities around, but I'm concerned about whether that means I should tweak the brand's function or gate off some parts until 6th.
I like that! Good flavor and synergistic! For Order's Relentlessness, maybe go with something along the lines of
When you hit a branded target with a magical attack, you can choose to ignore the target's resistances.
As paladins are not exclusively magic based, this gives them more utility.
It does look like a paladin subclass, doesn't it? Thing is, the levels it gets stuff at (and the expanded spell list) mark it as a warlock subclass.
It does function quite like a paladin, however there really isn't an arcane equivalent to them. I could try to make it a paladin subclass, but the switch from divine to arcane is daunting and I'd have to rework enough abilities that it would become it's own class. Besides, I like the larger spell list and inquisitor-y feel from the Warlock.
I think paladin might be better mainly because of story. You have this subclass as an anti-arcane fighting force. I've always considered wizards, sorcerers, and warlocks to be arcane spellcasters. It feels a bit strange to have a warlock running around as a member of an group against arcane magic.
Paladins follow a code and usually not an individual where as warlocks exclusively get their power from a single entity. It appears that these warlocks follow the idea of Order which is very fitting for a paladin. Either way, it's a very cool subclass.
"The relevant equation is: Knowledge = power = energy = matter = mass; a good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read." - Terry Pratchett
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So this is the first real homebrew subclass I've ever done, and I'd like some feedback. It's for my home game, and the idea is that there is a kingdom that doesn't like or trust magic users - primarily because they can shape reality to their whim and can't be controlled. Thus The Order is made, a tried and tested group who have been deemed loyal enough and worthy enough to wield magic. They're kind of a mix between the Technocracy from Mage: The Ascension and the Templars from Dragon Age.
Here's what I've got so far.
The Pact of Order
Where others bargained for power for their own selfish ends, you were granted yours for your honor and determination as you became a member of The Order. Using powers granted by the mysterious means of your brotherhood, you have a duty to root out the wielders of arcane magic deemed a threat by your fellows.
You could be an inquisitor of an empire that is fearful of magic, or seeks to keep it under their thumb. With power confiscated from one of the so-called "arcane deviants", you have been deemed a trusted tool to execute your master's will.
You could also be a member of an ancient knightly order, safeguarding the realm against arcane threats and magical beasts by drawing strength from a mysterious artifact.
No matter their origin, members of this Pact are relentless protectors against the mysterious, chaotic and overwhelming powers spawned from magic.
Expanded Spell List
1st Detect Magic, Protection from Evil and Good
2nd Silence, Zone of Truth
3rd Protection from Energy,
Bestow Curse4th Watery Sphere, Locate Creature
5th Dispel Evil and Good, Teleportation Circle
Order's Brand
Starting at first level, you can mark a target you can see within 60 feet of you with an arcane brand as a bonus action. While your quarry is marked you know the distance and direction to the target even if it is hidden. The sigil can't be seen by anyone but you and those with truesight.
As a bonus action, you can dismiss the mark. It also automatically dispelled if you and the target are on different planes of existence, if you're incapacitated, or if dispel magic, remove curse, or similar magic is used on the target.
At 6th level, your attunement to the brand deepens. The branded target can't gain the benefits of half cover or three-quarters cover against your attack rolls.
(Cribbed from the Hexblade UA, I thought it worked well for the inquisitor-y aspect of the Pact)
Order's Relentlessness
Starting at 6th level, your Order has bestowed upon you the ability to overcome the defenses of your arcane foes. When you cast a spell, you can choose for it's damage to ignore resistances or impose disadvantage on the target's saving throw. You may use this feature once per short or long rest
Order's Fortitude
At 10th level, you've learned to protect yourself against your foes favoured tricks. You gain resistance to fire and electric damage. (This I'm the least happy with since it's pretty vanilla. It does make sense from a practical perspective, since fireball and lightning bolt are such staples.)
Order's Retribution
At 14th level, you can use your Order's Brand to attack the body and mind of your foes. As an action, if your Branded target is within 60 feet of you and you can see them, you can force the target of your brand to make a Constitution saving throw against your spell save DC as tendrils of lightning course through them. On a failed save, the target immediately takes 6d10 lightning damage and half that damage again at the start of their next turn. On a successful save, the target immediately takes half damage and suffers no further effect.
Additionally, if the target fails the saving throw, they must make another Constitution saving throw against your spell save DC on the first spell they cast in the next
30 secondsminute. On a failed save, the spell fails and on a successful save there is no effect. Once you use this feature, you may not use it again until you finish a long rest. (No idea if this is decent or crappy, but it fits in theme and makes use of the Brand from earlier)Not bad. You may need to explain to me what Order's Relentlessness looks like.
For Order's Fortitude, consider allowing them to pick two from acid, cold, fire, lightning, poison, and thunder. This gives more variety to what they can get and allows for more specific bonuses. Consider a player who has been in a swamp environment for much of their campaign. Resistance to poison and acid damage are going to be far more helpful to that player than resistance to fire and lightning. Or you could have it grant something similar to what Abjuration wizards get at 14th level.
Tooltips | Snippet Code | How to Homebrew on D&D Beyond | Subclass Guide | Feature Roadmap
Astromancer's Homebrew Assembly
"The relevant equation is: Knowledge = power = energy = matter = mass; a good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read." - Terry Pratchett
I'm thinking of reworking it so that the Brand is the first ability you get, and the other skills stem from that. So something like Order's Relentlessness can only be invoked on a Branded target. I may also tie in Fortitude into it as well.
I like that! Good flavor and synergistic! For Order's Relentlessness, maybe go with something along the lines of
As paladins are not exclusively magic based, this gives them more utility.
Tooltips | Snippet Code | How to Homebrew on D&D Beyond | Subclass Guide | Feature Roadmap
Astromancer's Homebrew Assembly
"The relevant equation is: Knowledge = power = energy = matter = mass; a good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read." - Terry Pratchett
"Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both" -- allegedly Benjamin Franklin
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Tooltips | Snippet Code | How to Homebrew on D&D Beyond | Subclass Guide | Feature Roadmap
Astromancer's Homebrew Assembly
"The relevant equation is: Knowledge = power = energy = matter = mass; a good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read." - Terry Pratchett