Current Campaign(s): Dungeons, Darkness, Drow, and Demons, an Out of the Abyss Adventure, Dungeon Delvers, a Dungeon of the Mad Mage Adventure, Jungle of Evil, a Tomb of Annihilation Adventure
Sounds like something I've experienced in my signature
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Hello There. I am a worldbuilder and proud DM that is creating a huge world called Eldredom. I'm pouring many hours into it and I may make some things later...
So my players ran headlong into a mine that a town speaker was offering 50gp if someone(s) would clean it out of monsters so his miners could get back to work, they only stopped to asked the speaker of the reward was 50gp per person or 50gp for the group. It was for the group, and they were like, "okay bye see you in a minute". Now just to be honest they overheard some drunks in a bar talking about the situation in another town and were under the impression it was just a few colbolds. As an after thought one of them asked about gems they may find in the mine and whether or not they are allowed to keep them, the speaker says that if there is any valuables on the colbolds then they are welcome to them, but the gem mine belongs to the town and its their only real source of income. While down in the mine they befriend the colbolds and meet a new player-character, she tells them that her prior party was all killed by something that hid in the dark and tore them apart when the others split up from her so she hid in fear it would kill her too. They leave the mine with their colbolds after saving the leader colbold from a ghost possession. In the next session two players are unable to make it but we still have a majority so we jump right back into it, I half expected them to go back to the mine and finish the job but instead they bring the colbolds to the speaker and ask him to give them jobs, he is suspicious of this but the dice are in the pc's favor, they also tell him there is something bigger in the mines and that they will return shortly to take care of the issue. The group then decides to work on another of four quests they know of and quickly succeed getting the reward for the short quest, then they go shopping. The next session we are all together again and this is where it gets really crazy. On their way back to town from shopping in another larger town the party discusses how to handle the payout for this mine. The Bard suggests they get their colbold friends to mine while they fight the monster. The Rogue immediately tells them that mining the gems would be wrong as it would be stealing, and that it would be akin to slavery to make the colbolds do it for them. The rest of the party starts going in circles trying to justify taking a few hours to mine to the Rogue.... yes here we have a group of L-C/N-G characters trying to convince the Rogue that it's okay to steal gems from the mine...
My party was exploring the ruins of a kingdom from thousands of years ago, which was actually the origin of my character (long story). We found this petrified stone guy who was chained in the colosseum, interrogated and fought it, learning that it had seen the fall of the kingdom long ago. Our paladin decided to take a necklace he was wearing, destroying the stone guy instantly, and later he decided to put it on, AFTER the DM told us it was cursed.
The curse? The "inability to die", which sounds pretty good but seeing as he wasn't supposed to take and use it, and can still feel all the pain, and seeing the last guy with it as a delusional talking statue, it's gonna go very poorly at some point...
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The Orbs of Ascension were the world's last chance, For mortals of virtue to be enhanced.
The fires of the South will ravage the land, The balance kept by an unseen hand.
Mind and soul are joined at last, Silencing those with magic of the past.
A unity struck by wind and sky, Cannot last, however they try.
Life and death are one and the same, Seek aid from the one who rose to fame.
The time has come to once again unite, Lest the world face the unending night.
I once decided to take out a whole lot of enemies in the basement of a house. That was, until I forgot a little bit too late the house is made of wood, and the basement was full of highly explosive kegs filled with highly flammable beer and the kegs themselves were also wood. One natural 20 critical hit of a fireball later, boom. Nearly ended the campaign right then and there.
I can't think of anything that bad but one time they found the BBEG's lieutenant hiding away in a mini-dungeon (where parts of the BBEG's army had secret meetings) and tried to fight him. They were level 4. The lieutenant was a level 7 mind flayer. Two of the party members were stunned in the first round. I didn't want a TPK situation this early so i had the mind flayer decide that this fight was boring and then he left. The party then turned the dungeon into a safe camp for the people of their village that didn't want to fight in an upcoming battle with the BBEG's army. They checked for monsters everywhere but the basement area. In the basement are five hungry gremlins.
While dealing with my character's grandfather, we ended up having to fight an undead dragon god thing that was the patron of the city. Now we had before this done things such as: walk up to a Duke and assassinated him in front of everyone during his wedding to the rogue's childhood friend (a shit ton of nat 20 with disadvantage) and then the rogue and the bard had to convince everyone the Duke was a fake and the rogue was the real Duke. This ended with us getting a higher body count than the bbeg who was literally trying to kill everyone in the world and absorb their life energy for immortality. We carpet bombed an entire forest after losing track of a kid in there at night. Our barbarian (a gnome) got into a headbutting contest with a giant and won.
Now that I think about it, our characters were more or less vehicles for our intrusive thoughts.
Anyway, so the fight with the dragon starts, literally nothing is working. Spells have no effect, regular attacks so scratch damage and our rogue notices that the elves that didn't run away from the fight fast enough died every time we managed to harm the dragon. So our bard (half orc male) decides that since he's out of spells, he's gonna do a belly dance to distract the dragon because it's not like anything else is working. This somehow works. Gnomebarian is about to try to suplex the dragon we're at the point of "random shit go!" when my genius ass decides now would be a good time to go after grandpa *******.
I cast thunderwave and launched him at the gnome, who hits him with his axe. DM rolls, stares at it for a minute, and then begins grandiose sound bit about how we fed an old man to his god and broke the anchor holding said god to the material realm and invented baseball.
I also inherited what was left of the city.
Tldr; I went after a personal vendetta in the middle of a boss fight.
After getting the life beat out of him, my team leader went back into the fighting ring for the fifth time to prove his dominance. Damn near dead by the end of it.
We were playing Curse of Strahd and stayed the night at the church in the first village.
We woke up and found a mysterious old lady selling pies. The fighter ate eight of them I believe, and the wizard ate one. They both entered a trance and stood incapacitated. Me (the druid) and the barbarian chased after the old lady. She surprise attack shoved a pie in the barbarian's face, and he entered the trance. I cast entangle, and when I tried to interrogate the old lady, she disappeared. I'm shaking everybody out of the trance, when a mysterious voice says, "Something very interesting will happen if you all eat the pies," and four pies appeared. I say, "We don't care about extra content, and say I go back to the church." The wizard casts magic missile. Cue battle music. I wild shape into a giant badger and just dig away as everybody stands still for no apparent reason. The barbarian has the bright idea that, since I'm no longer in the party, they can all eat pies. They are captured by hags. They try to fight them. They fail. I then have to go ask the priest how to find them and go completely save them. (I am not exaggerating.)
So, I was in a party of level one characters, and we (I) decided to attack our patron (a mage). You can imagine how that went.
Round 1: Mage casts fireball with a 5th level spell slot. In a small room. And is the only one that fails the saving throw. And also rolls (basically) max damage. he rest of the attacks against him also do nearly max damage.
Round 2: The fight ends. We take no damage. And get a butt ton of XP. Clearly, our DM meant for this to be TPK to stop out insolence.
I once decided to take out a whole lot of enemies in the basement of a house. That was, until I forgot a little bit too late the house is made of wood, and the basement was full of highly explosive kegs filled with highly flammable beer and the kegs themselves were also wood. One natural 20 critical hit of a fireball later, boom. Nearly ended the campaign right then and there.
In my last session, one of my players did something absolutely genius... until it wasn't.
Following a mystery of a strange sudden death in a temple to a gardening god, the Sorcerer got a suspicion that the gargoyles decorating the temple could be animated and killing people. Because they're indistinguishable from rock and this player is not one to let go of a hunch, she cast presidigitation on one of the statues, because it only affects non-living objects.
She used the spell to flavor the gargoyle, and then open-mouth kissed it to see if it was reflavored or not. In the split second it took her character to register that the gargoyle still tasted like stone, its mouth clamped down and combat began. But hey! She solved the case!
I have several fun and stupid things happen to 1 of my characters in particular. Full disclosure, whenever I play my characters, I AM that character and I love the role-play. At the start, I was also relatively new to DnD.
For the past 5ish years, most Wednesday nights, I play a half drow, college of swords bard, named Asger Baenre. He doesn't know the full significance of his family name yet, by he's been on the run from The Kraken Society for most of his life and has been given his mother's maiden name. He's also obsessed with treasure and recently spend 45,000gp of his acquired wealth on his very own sailing ship called The Red Prince. However, before this, there has been some amusing / stupid incidents.
I should also point out that I'm the note-taker for the group so the below stories are easy to come-by. The last 2 stories are quite long, but I hope you find them amusing.
#1: Bag of Holding Incident
Having acquired a substantial amount of Mirabian trading bars, Asger was sitting in the local tavern with his allies when he comes up with a clever idea (well at least he thought so). As the party had 2 bags of holding, he thought he could fill one of the bags up with the trading bars and then add it to the empty bag of holding to make it easier to carry around (1 bag instead of 2). 1 of the players nearly had a conniption at this and I have a VERY good DM, so he said that my character felt that something bad might happen if he continued. Asger and the rest of the party did arcane checks (even though none of us were really trained in it) to see if any of the characters thought this was a bad idea. We all failed the check and so Asger hurried up to his room alone to carry it out. Just as the full trade bar bag was about to be inserted within the empty bag, there was a large bang and a temporal rift began to form in the floor. The bags were sucked into the rift and Asger clung to the edge of the wooden tavern floor for dear life as he was about to join them. He was just able to pull himself out, but the bags were no more. He then returned to the others and it took the characters weeks to forgive him for losing 25,000gp worth of trade bars.
#2: Castle Never Throne Room Incident
2 player years later, after successfully surviving the Hidden Shrine of Tamoachan and The Crypts of Kelemvor, we were beginning to clear through Castle Never. At this point, tired of being hounded by The Kraken Society, Asger had purchased a necklace so he couldn't be scried and a pigment skin colour operation to change his skin white. Upon entering the throne room in Castle Never and seeing the vacant throne, Asger immediately rushed to sit upon it, despite the monk's warnings. As soon as he placed his skinny ass on the throne, 4 spectral past king figures emerged, surrounded Asger and killed him in a couple of attacks. The rest of his companions (a ranger, monk and cleric) were able to survive by the skin of their teeth. Later, the cleric (Sutha, an orc life domain cleric with ties to Luthic) revived Asger and slaps him for his misconduct. Ruriken the monk was very disappointed with Asger for days after. The 1000gp skin operation faded away back to drow dark skin and he had to spend another 1000gp to return to white.
#3: Locked "Room" Incident
Some time later, our 14th level characters found themselves on Gundarlun, a small island west of Neverwinter. Deep within the Berranzo Mines, Merklin (the ranger) notices a secret door, but even the highly trained, treasure obsessed bard Asger, can't open it. Asger then has the clever idea of "dimension dooring" into the space. This causes the concealed guillotine to activate in the confined space and Asger loses part of his offhand arm in the process. He then dimension doors back to the others and pandemonium reigns as Asger tries to stop the blood with the help of his friends. However, we are making so much noise that the local 'wolverine' type humans that were nearby are alerted to our presence and attack. Using Ruriken's (the monk) quick thinking with a polymorph stone (acquired from a red dragon treasure hoard), Asger turns into a parrot with no tail for a while so they can figure out what to do. Merklin and Ruriken take out the wolverines. Asger then turned back into drow form and Merklin quickly bandaged up Asger's arm. There is an adamantine claw on an operating table of sorts in a nearby room, which Asger takes.
The party then travel back quickly to the crashed Githyanki vessel they encountered earlier, before heading into the mines. Part of the vessel had a regenerative machines to restore limbs. Asger was able to communicate with the ship and work out what arm could be built for him. He was able to select a metallic arm with a hidden blade at the end. It cost quite a lot of sacrificed magical items to build it however, as the ship was low on resources. This arm proved very useful for the battles ahead.
#4: The White Pudding Incident
About 4-5 player months later, the party (now including 2 new players. 1 a Githyanki war wizard named Qyn, and a human barbarian named Stor) had just finished an epic ship battle on route to Luskan. The party were successful in eliminating the majority of the crew of The Devil's Fin helmed by Captain Callous. Callous had teleported to his god Asmodeus when things got dire, leaving behind an ecstatic Asger to acquire his very first pirate vessel.
Asger & Ruriken check the bilge and find a large iron-bound wooden crate. 5 sides of the crate mention words to the effect of "this chest must never be opened." Asger knows that this is a ploy a lot of pirates sometimes use to hide significant treasure and proudly explains this to Ruriken. Asger works out that there's Abjuration magic and it's a magical crate. Asger tries to open the lock, but is unsuccessful. He then uses the chime of opening and using mage hand, the lock is removed and the hinge is opened. Asger gets a boost from Ruriken to see what's within. He glimpses something big, white and squishy before it bursts out of crate and attacks Asger & Ruriken to a "What the f**k is that!" from Asger. Asger then discovers: "it's eating the ship!" and swordwaves (renamed Thunderwave to fit the flavour of a college of swords bard) the beast unsuccessfully. Ruriken uses his quarterstaff on it and notices it received some acid damage. Then a small hole is formed in the hull and water starts coming in. Asger screams for Qyn and his cube of force to stop more water pouring in. Stor (after leaping on to the ship) and Qyn start running down towards us. Stor swings wildly at the beast doing no damage and it actually splits in half. Another hole is burst into the hull. Meanwhile, on deck of the ship, Merklin notices that the pirates that we rescued are starting to fight each other. Ruriken takes a step back and uses his laser pistol on one of the white puddings, but he takes a bit of acid damage shortly thereafter. Asger finishes off one of the puddings and it's remains burn through the hull of the ship and the other pudding follows suit, disappearing into the water. The ship is now sinking! Qyn hurries up the stairs from Asger's instructions for the hold. Merklin shouts to the crew that the ship is going down and they jump ship to The Dragon's Eye (the ship we were using to get to Luskan). Ruriken uses a scroll of shape water to plug part of the hull with ice and hurries up to the hold. Asger casts haste and grabs all the important things from the hold he discovered earlier, passing everyone and going "mine, mine, mine!” We quickly go above deck and then hurry off the sinking vessel.
Ruriken sets all the pirate sails ablaze! Asger stands on the edge of The Dragon's Eye watching his new ship (that he had, all of several minutes) descend into the deep waters and as the last bubble breaks the surface, Asger rounds on the pirate bosun, grabbing him by the scruff of the neck and screams, "You BASTARD! Why didn't you say there was a magical beast in the bilge!" to which the bosun protests that only Captain Callous and first mate knew. Asger takes some calming down (Ruriken comes and sits nearby) and it takes a long time to settle him down.
#5: The Devil’s Contract Incident
Fast-forward another 4-5 player months and the party are in Baldur’s Gate, having just defeated Captain Callous for the second and final time. He located us while we were staying at the Elfsong Tavern. Shortly after the battle, the light dimmed, mist appeared and a portal to a hellish landscape materialised on one side of the room where a large fat devil, wearing expensive clothing, stepped through carrying a briefcase. "Are you lost?" Asger asked. The "lawyerly" adjudicator devil officially responded that he was looking for an "Asger Baenre." After some hesitation, Asger agreed to speak to him about Captain Callous' demise. Asger and the devil lawyer stepped away into a side booth, whereupon a long contract was unfurled. It turned out that, as the vanquisher of Captain Callous, Asger was entitled to said Captain's belongings, should he choose to accept them. The devil pulled out a six-inch cube, after asking Asger if he accepted Callous' old possessions (contained within the cube), which of course Asger did, with no preamble or reading of the contract (as he thought it would take an inordinate amount of time to understand everything and he just wanted the loot). A signature was all that was required from Asger and he signed and the devil left through the portal. The rest of the party called Asger an idiot and said there will be repercussions for this stupidity.
Nothing happens for a couple of days in character time until travelling to Murann, the party come upon a haunted ship. The party were travelling with the Intrepid Turtle at the time, and after securing the haunted ship, we found the loot in the hold. The coins were dispersed but as Asger was collecting his share, half of the coins disappeared instantly and a receipt displaying Asmodeus' symbol appeared which read, "Loot Management Fee," then burned to ash after Asger finished reading it. Asger was beside himself while the rest of the party smirked due to Asger's failure to read the adjudicator devil's contract a few days ago.
Several days later, having safely arrived in Murann and about to retire for the night, a fiery hell portal appeared and a small red devil appeared, dressed in a red clerk's suit and tie. They asked after Asger, who responded, but Qyn rushed to his side and claimed to be his advocate. The devil asked if Qyn would sign a statement declaring that he was Asger's legal counsel, but he declined. Now ignoring Qyn, the devil explained that they'd received reports of dissatisfaction on account of obligee Asger Baenre. Asger explained why he was dissatisfied and even asked to view the contract again; however, the devil happily mentioned that a copy could be obtained by visiting an infernal office in the Nine Hells. He then explained basic inheritance laws and asked Asger whether he was in sound mind or was coerced when he signed the paperwork, to which Asger agreed he was of sound mind and was only coerced by his greed. As Captain Callous had a standard Death Contract with Asmodeus, Asger was now obligated to that contract also. So basically, until Asger's eventual demise, any increase in Asger's personal wealth would accrue a 50% Administration Fee payable to Asmodeus. Just as Qyn was about to protest, the portal disappeared and we were left in amazement.
Finally, fast-forward another few days, after successfully completing the captain’s exam so he could legitimately captain The Red Prince, Qyn and Stor approached Asger with some news regarding the devil’s contract. They had spent some time at the moon temple the previous day, talking to a priest and they explained what Asger needed to do to break the devil contract. As there are generally no loopholes in Asmodean contracts, Asger was told how difficult this could potentially be. The method to break the contract involved the seven deadly sins and the seven heavenly virtues that can overcome them. Asger would have to genuinely demonstrated the counter to the deadly sins to break the curse. They believed the 3 sins committed were "Pride", "Envy", and "Greed" and that Asger would likely need to demonstrate "Humility", "Charity", and "Gratitude" (definitely not in the character's wheel house). Qyn said there was a whole celestial mechanism that was always watching and listening. It was this mechanism that would be the judge. During this entire conversation, Stor relished (and all the players were in hysterics) a lot of this explanation interjecting constantly that, "We aren't judging you, they are!" Qyn also suggested that Asger should consider becoming a devout worshipper of the goddess Waukeen (the god of commerce), but Asger complained that this seemed like a lot more work, and besides, the party would have to travel to Athkatla (the capital of Amn), which no one had time for. Asger said that he didn't like what he was hearing and had to sleep on it.
This issue is still unresolved and the DM has a plan on how to bring up places for Asger to overcome these obstacles, but the players don’t know what they are yet.
Mine was under 2014 rules and at base level of 3, well, it basically worked as if I rolled a big arse bomb of catastrophic proportionate levels of blasting power into the room setting off what is close to medieval times equivalent to a direct hit firebombing run on the top of house. Destroyed an entire basement and burst the place to flames lucky for me, my companion was a level 20 wizard of necromancer class and used control weather to save the day
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My friend is running through LMoP as a level 20 character. He one shot the Nothic in area 8 of Tresendor Manor.
Character(s): Chak-tha, Thri-kreen Battlemaster Fighter, Théodmon Rokas, Eladrin Druid, Grayhawk the Aerial Ace, Aarakocra Bladesinger Wizard
Current Campaign(s): Dungeons, Darkness, Drow, and Demons, an Out of the Abyss Adventure, Dungeon Delvers, a Dungeon of the Mad Mage Adventure, Jungle of Evil, a Tomb of Annihilation Adventure
Check out the Chatty Tavern | Jester and Breadman's Character Bakery
My title from drummer is Wielder of Whispers
Sounds like something I've experienced in my signature
Hello There. I am a worldbuilder and proud DM that is creating a huge world called Eldredom. I'm pouring many hours into it and I may make some things later...
So my players ran headlong into a mine that a town speaker was offering 50gp if someone(s) would clean it out of monsters so his miners could get back to work, they only stopped to asked the speaker of the reward was 50gp per person or 50gp for the group. It was for the group, and they were like, "okay bye see you in a minute". Now just to be honest they overheard some drunks in a bar talking about the situation in another town and were under the impression it was just a few colbolds. As an after thought one of them asked about gems they may find in the mine and whether or not they are allowed to keep them, the speaker says that if there is any valuables on the colbolds then they are welcome to them, but the gem mine belongs to the town and its their only real source of income. While down in the mine they befriend the colbolds and meet a new player-character, she tells them that her prior party was all killed by something that hid in the dark and tore them apart when the others split up from her so she hid in fear it would kill her too. They leave the mine with their colbolds after saving the leader colbold from a ghost possession. In the next session two players are unable to make it but we still have a majority so we jump right back into it, I half expected them to go back to the mine and finish the job but instead they bring the colbolds to the speaker and ask him to give them jobs, he is suspicious of this but the dice are in the pc's favor, they also tell him there is something bigger in the mines and that they will return shortly to take care of the issue. The group then decides to work on another of four quests they know of and quickly succeed getting the reward for the short quest, then they go shopping. The next session we are all together again and this is where it gets really crazy. On their way back to town from shopping in another larger town the party discusses how to handle the payout for this mine. The Bard suggests they get their colbold friends to mine while they fight the monster. The Rogue immediately tells them that mining the gems would be wrong as it would be stealing, and that it would be akin to slavery to make the colbolds do it for them. The rest of the party starts going in circles trying to justify taking a few hours to mine to the Rogue.... yes here we have a group of L-C/N-G characters trying to convince the Rogue that it's okay to steal gems from the mine...
Yikes that was long.... also the Barbarian wanted to keep the monster from the mine as a pet without knowing what it was....
My party was exploring the ruins of a kingdom from thousands of years ago, which was actually the origin of my character (long story). We found this petrified stone guy who was chained in the colosseum, interrogated and fought it, learning that it had seen the fall of the kingdom long ago. Our paladin decided to take a necklace he was wearing, destroying the stone guy instantly, and later he decided to put it on, AFTER the DM told us it was cursed.
The curse? The "inability to die", which sounds pretty good but seeing as he wasn't supposed to take and use it, and can still feel all the pain, and seeing the last guy with it as a delusional talking statue, it's gonna go very poorly at some point...
The Orbs of Ascension were the world's last chance,
For mortals of virtue to be enhanced.
The fires of the South will ravage the land,
The balance kept by an unseen hand.
Mind and soul are joined at last,
Silencing those with magic of the past.
A unity struck by wind and sky,
Cannot last, however they try.
Life and death are one and the same,
Seek aid from the one who rose to fame.
The time has come to once again unite,
Lest the world face the unending night.
I once decided to take out a whole lot of enemies in the basement of a house. That was, until I forgot a little bit too late the house is made of wood, and the basement was full of highly explosive kegs filled with highly flammable beer and the kegs themselves were also wood. One natural 20 critical hit of a fireball later, boom. Nearly ended the campaign right then and there.
I can't think of anything that bad but one time they found the BBEG's lieutenant hiding away in a mini-dungeon (where parts of the BBEG's army had secret meetings) and tried to fight him. They were level 4. The lieutenant was a level 7 mind flayer. Two of the party members were stunned in the first round. I didn't want a TPK situation this early so i had the mind flayer decide that this fight was boring and then he left. The party then turned the dungeon into a safe camp for the people of their village that didn't want to fight in an upcoming battle with the BBEG's army. They checked for monsters everywhere but the basement area. In the basement are five hungry gremlins.
While dealing with my character's grandfather, we ended up having to fight an undead dragon god thing that was the patron of the city. Now we had before this done things such as: walk up to a Duke and assassinated him in front of everyone during his wedding to the rogue's childhood friend (a shit ton of nat 20 with disadvantage) and then the rogue and the bard had to convince everyone the Duke was a fake and the rogue was the real Duke. This ended with us getting a higher body count than the bbeg who was literally trying to kill everyone in the world and absorb their life energy for immortality. We carpet bombed an entire forest after losing track of a kid in there at night. Our barbarian (a gnome) got into a headbutting contest with a giant and won.
Now that I think about it, our characters were more or less vehicles for our intrusive thoughts.
Anyway, so the fight with the dragon starts, literally nothing is working. Spells have no effect, regular attacks so scratch damage and our rogue notices that the elves that didn't run away from the fight fast enough died every time we managed to harm the dragon. So our bard (half orc male) decides that since he's out of spells, he's gonna do a belly dance to distract the dragon because it's not like anything else is working. This somehow works. Gnomebarian is about to try to suplex the dragon we're at the point of "random shit go!" when my genius ass decides now would be a good time to go after grandpa *******.
I cast thunderwave and launched him at the gnome, who hits him with his axe. DM rolls, stares at it for a minute, and then begins grandiose sound bit about how we fed an old man to his god and broke the anchor holding said god to the material realm and invented baseball.
I also inherited what was left of the city.
Tldr; I went after a personal vendetta in the middle of a boss fight.
After getting the life beat out of him, my team leader went back into the fighting ring for the fifth time to prove his dominance. Damn near dead by the end of it.
My tabaxi player followed a sign that said "Frea Tresuur."
They got eaten by a Behir.
We were playing Curse of Strahd and stayed the night at the church in the first village.
We woke up and found a mysterious old lady selling pies. The fighter ate eight of them I believe, and the wizard ate one. They both entered a trance and stood incapacitated. Me (the druid) and the barbarian chased after the old lady. She surprise attack shoved a pie in the barbarian's face, and he entered the trance. I cast entangle, and when I tried to interrogate the old lady, she disappeared. I'm shaking everybody out of the trance, when a mysterious voice says, "Something very interesting will happen if you all eat the pies," and four pies appeared. I say, "We don't care about extra content, and say I go back to the church." The wizard casts magic missile. Cue battle music. I wild shape into a giant badger and just dig away as everybody stands still for no apparent reason. The barbarian has the bright idea that, since I'm no longer in the party, they can all eat pies. They are captured by hags. They try to fight them. They fail. I then have to go ask the priest how to find them and go completely save them. (I am not exaggerating.)
So, I was in a party of level one characters, and we (I) decided to attack our patron (a mage). You can imagine how that went.
Round 1: Mage casts fireball with a 5th level spell slot. In a small room. And is the only one that fails the saving throw. And also rolls (basically) max damage. he rest of the attacks against him also do nearly max damage.
Round 2: The fight ends. We take no damage. And get a butt ton of XP. Clearly, our DM meant for this to be TPK to stop out insolence.
Roll for Initiative: [roll]1d20+7[/roll]
Proud member of the EVIL JEFF CULT! PRAISE JEFF!
Homebrew Races: HERE Homebrew Spells: HERE Homebrew Monsters: HERE
MORE OF ME! (And platypodes/platypi/platypuses) (Extended signature)
Fireball doesn't make an attack roll.
Roll for Initiative: [roll]1d20+7[/roll]
Proud member of the EVIL JEFF CULT! PRAISE JEFF!
Homebrew Races: HERE Homebrew Spells: HERE Homebrew Monsters: HERE
MORE OF ME! (And platypodes/platypi/platypuses) (Extended signature)
Responding to this guy, btw
Roll for Initiative: [roll]1d20+7[/roll]
Proud member of the EVIL JEFF CULT! PRAISE JEFF!
Homebrew Races: HERE Homebrew Spells: HERE Homebrew Monsters: HERE
MORE OF ME! (And platypodes/platypi/platypuses) (Extended signature)
Maybe they meant Fire bolt, I do get those confused too sometimes.
I am also here.
Am snek.
In my last session, one of my players did something absolutely genius... until it wasn't.
Following a mystery of a strange sudden death in a temple to a gardening god, the Sorcerer got a suspicion that the gargoyles decorating the temple could be animated and killing people. Because they're indistinguishable from rock and this player is not one to let go of a hunch, she cast presidigitation on one of the statues, because it only affects non-living objects.
She used the spell to flavor the gargoyle, and then open-mouth kissed it to see if it was reflavored or not. In the split second it took her character to register that the gargoyle still tasted like stone, its mouth clamped down and combat began. But hey! She solved the case!
:)
Hey everyone,
I have several fun and stupid things happen to 1 of my characters in particular. Full disclosure, whenever I play my characters, I AM that character and I love the role-play. At the start, I was also relatively new to DnD.
For the past 5ish years, most Wednesday nights, I play a half drow, college of swords bard, named Asger Baenre. He doesn't know the full significance of his family name yet, by he's been on the run from The Kraken Society for most of his life and has been given his mother's maiden name. He's also obsessed with treasure and recently spend 45,000gp of his acquired wealth on his very own sailing ship called The Red Prince. However, before this, there has been some amusing / stupid incidents.
I should also point out that I'm the note-taker for the group so the below stories are easy to come-by. The last 2 stories are quite long, but I hope you find them amusing.
#1: Bag of Holding Incident
Having acquired a substantial amount of Mirabian trading bars, Asger was sitting in the local tavern with his allies when he comes up with a clever idea (well at least he thought so). As the party had 2 bags of holding, he thought he could fill one of the bags up with the trading bars and then add it to the empty bag of holding to make it easier to carry around (1 bag instead of 2). 1 of the players nearly had a conniption at this and I have a VERY good DM, so he said that my character felt that something bad might happen if he continued. Asger and the rest of the party did arcane checks (even though none of us were really trained in it) to see if any of the characters thought this was a bad idea. We all failed the check and so Asger hurried up to his room alone to carry it out. Just as the full trade bar bag was about to be inserted within the empty bag, there was a large bang and a temporal rift began to form in the floor. The bags were sucked into the rift and Asger clung to the edge of the wooden tavern floor for dear life as he was about to join them. He was just able to pull himself out, but the bags were no more. He then returned to the others and it took the characters weeks to forgive him for losing 25,000gp worth of trade bars.
#2: Castle Never Throne Room Incident
2 player years later, after successfully surviving the Hidden Shrine of Tamoachan and The Crypts of Kelemvor, we were beginning to clear through Castle Never. At this point, tired of being hounded by The Kraken Society, Asger had purchased a necklace so he couldn't be scried and a pigment skin colour operation to change his skin white. Upon entering the throne room in Castle Never and seeing the vacant throne, Asger immediately rushed to sit upon it, despite the monk's warnings. As soon as he placed his skinny ass on the throne, 4 spectral past king figures emerged, surrounded Asger and killed him in a couple of attacks. The rest of his companions (a ranger, monk and cleric) were able to survive by the skin of their teeth. Later, the cleric (Sutha, an orc life domain cleric with ties to Luthic) revived Asger and slaps him for his misconduct. Ruriken the monk was very disappointed with Asger for days after. The 1000gp skin operation faded away back to drow dark skin and he had to spend another 1000gp to return to white.
#3: Locked "Room" Incident
Some time later, our 14th level characters found themselves on Gundarlun, a small island west of Neverwinter. Deep within the Berranzo Mines, Merklin (the ranger) notices a secret door, but even the highly trained, treasure obsessed bard Asger, can't open it. Asger then has the clever idea of "dimension dooring" into the space. This causes the concealed guillotine to activate in the confined space and Asger loses part of his offhand arm in the process. He then dimension doors back to the others and pandemonium reigns as Asger tries to stop the blood with the help of his friends. However, we are making so much noise that the local 'wolverine' type humans that were nearby are alerted to our presence and attack. Using Ruriken's (the monk) quick thinking with a polymorph stone (acquired from a red dragon treasure hoard), Asger turns into a parrot with no tail for a while so they can figure out what to do. Merklin and Ruriken take out the wolverines. Asger then turned back into drow form and Merklin quickly bandaged up Asger's arm. There is an adamantine claw on an operating table of sorts in a nearby room, which Asger takes.
The party then travel back quickly to the crashed Githyanki vessel they encountered earlier, before heading into the mines. Part of the vessel had a regenerative machines to restore limbs. Asger was able to communicate with the ship and work out what arm could be built for him. He was able to select a metallic arm with a hidden blade at the end. It cost quite a lot of sacrificed magical items to build it however, as the ship was low on resources. This arm proved very useful for the battles ahead.
#4: The White Pudding Incident
About 4-5 player months later, the party (now including 2 new players. 1 a Githyanki war wizard named Qyn, and a human barbarian named Stor) had just finished an epic ship battle on route to Luskan. The party were successful in eliminating the majority of the crew of The Devil's Fin helmed by Captain Callous. Callous had teleported to his god Asmodeus when things got dire, leaving behind an ecstatic Asger to acquire his very first pirate vessel.
Asger & Ruriken check the bilge and find a large iron-bound wooden crate. 5 sides of the crate mention words to the effect of "this chest must never be opened." Asger knows that this is a ploy a lot of pirates sometimes use to hide significant treasure and proudly explains this to Ruriken. Asger works out that there's Abjuration magic and it's a magical crate. Asger tries to open the lock, but is unsuccessful. He then uses the chime of opening and using mage hand, the lock is removed and the hinge is opened. Asger gets a boost from Ruriken to see what's within. He glimpses something big, white and squishy before it bursts out of crate and attacks Asger & Ruriken to a "What the f**k is that!" from Asger. Asger then discovers: "it's eating the ship!" and swordwaves (renamed Thunderwave to fit the flavour of a college of swords bard) the beast unsuccessfully. Ruriken uses his quarterstaff on it and notices it received some acid damage. Then a small hole is formed in the hull and water starts coming in. Asger screams for Qyn and his cube of force to stop more water pouring in. Stor (after leaping on to the ship) and Qyn start running down towards us. Stor swings wildly at the beast doing no damage and it actually splits in half. Another hole is burst into the hull. Meanwhile, on deck of the ship, Merklin notices that the pirates that we rescued are starting to fight each other. Ruriken takes a step back and uses his laser pistol on one of the white puddings, but he takes a bit of acid damage shortly thereafter. Asger finishes off one of the puddings and it's remains burn through the hull of the ship and the other pudding follows suit, disappearing into the water. The ship is now sinking! Qyn hurries up the stairs from Asger's instructions for the hold. Merklin shouts to the crew that the ship is going down and they jump ship to The Dragon's Eye (the ship we were using to get to Luskan). Ruriken uses a scroll of shape water to plug part of the hull with ice and hurries up to the hold. Asger casts haste and grabs all the important things from the hold he discovered earlier, passing everyone and going "mine, mine, mine!” We quickly go above deck and then hurry off the sinking vessel.
Ruriken sets all the pirate sails ablaze! Asger stands on the edge of The Dragon's Eye watching his new ship (that he had, all of several minutes) descend into the deep waters and as the last bubble breaks the surface, Asger rounds on the pirate bosun, grabbing him by the scruff of the neck and screams, "You BASTARD! Why didn't you say there was a magical beast in the bilge!" to which the bosun protests that only Captain Callous and first mate knew. Asger takes some calming down (Ruriken comes and sits nearby) and it takes a long time to settle him down.
#5: The Devil’s Contract Incident
Fast-forward another 4-5 player months and the party are in Baldur’s Gate, having just defeated Captain Callous for the second and final time. He located us while we were staying at the Elfsong Tavern. Shortly after the battle, the light dimmed, mist appeared and a portal to a hellish landscape materialised on one side of the room where a large fat devil, wearing expensive clothing, stepped through carrying a briefcase. "Are you lost?" Asger asked. The "lawyerly" adjudicator devil officially responded that he was looking for an "Asger Baenre." After some hesitation, Asger agreed to speak to him about Captain Callous' demise. Asger and the devil lawyer stepped away into a side booth, whereupon a long contract was unfurled. It turned out that, as the vanquisher of Captain Callous, Asger was entitled to said Captain's belongings, should he choose to accept them. The devil pulled out a six-inch cube, after asking Asger if he accepted Callous' old possessions (contained within the cube), which of course Asger did, with no preamble or reading of the contract (as he thought it would take an inordinate amount of time to understand everything and he just wanted the loot). A signature was all that was required from Asger and he signed and the devil left through the portal. The rest of the party called Asger an idiot and said there will be repercussions for this stupidity.
Nothing happens for a couple of days in character time until travelling to Murann, the party come upon a haunted ship. The party were travelling with the Intrepid Turtle at the time, and after securing the haunted ship, we found the loot in the hold. The coins were dispersed but as Asger was collecting his share, half of the coins disappeared instantly and a receipt displaying Asmodeus' symbol appeared which read, "Loot Management Fee," then burned to ash after Asger finished reading it. Asger was beside himself while the rest of the party smirked due to Asger's failure to read the adjudicator devil's contract a few days ago.
Several days later, having safely arrived in Murann and about to retire for the night, a fiery hell portal appeared and a small red devil appeared, dressed in a red clerk's suit and tie. They asked after Asger, who responded, but Qyn rushed to his side and claimed to be his advocate. The devil asked if Qyn would sign a statement declaring that he was Asger's legal counsel, but he declined. Now ignoring Qyn, the devil explained that they'd received reports of dissatisfaction on account of obligee Asger Baenre. Asger explained why he was dissatisfied and even asked to view the contract again; however, the devil happily mentioned that a copy could be obtained by visiting an infernal office in the Nine Hells. He then explained basic inheritance laws and asked Asger whether he was in sound mind or was coerced when he signed the paperwork, to which Asger agreed he was of sound mind and was only coerced by his greed. As Captain Callous had a standard Death Contract with Asmodeus, Asger was now obligated to that contract also. So basically, until Asger's eventual demise, any increase in Asger's personal wealth would accrue a 50% Administration Fee payable to Asmodeus. Just as Qyn was about to protest, the portal disappeared and we were left in amazement.
Finally, fast-forward another few days, after successfully completing the captain’s exam so he could legitimately captain The Red Prince, Qyn and Stor approached Asger with some news regarding the devil’s contract. They had spent some time at the moon temple the previous day, talking to a priest and they explained what Asger needed to do to break the devil contract. As there are generally no loopholes in Asmodean contracts, Asger was told how difficult this could potentially be. The method to break the contract involved the seven deadly sins and the seven heavenly virtues that can overcome them. Asger would have to genuinely demonstrated the counter to the deadly sins to break the curse. They believed the 3 sins committed were "Pride", "Envy", and "Greed" and that Asger would likely need to demonstrate "Humility", "Charity", and "Gratitude" (definitely not in the character's wheel house). Qyn said there was a whole celestial mechanism that was always watching and listening. It was this mechanism that would be the judge. During this entire conversation, Stor relished (and all the players were in hysterics) a lot of this explanation interjecting constantly that, "We aren't judging you, they are!" Qyn also suggested that Asger should consider becoming a devout worshipper of the goddess Waukeen (the god of commerce), but Asger complained that this seemed like a lot more work, and besides, the party would have to travel to Athkatla (the capital of Amn), which no one had time for. Asger said that he didn't like what he was hearing and had to sleep on it.
This issue is still unresolved and the DM has a plan on how to bring up places for Asger to overcome these obstacles, but the players don’t know what they are yet.
the first one is a rooky mistake. lol ;)
Mine was under 2014 rules and at base level of 3, well, it basically worked as if I rolled a big arse bomb of catastrophic proportionate levels of blasting power into the room setting off what is close to medieval times equivalent to a direct hit firebombing run on the top of house. Destroyed an entire basement and burst the place to flames lucky for me, my companion was a level 20 wizard of necromancer class and used control weather to save the day