In my last session, the players:

• Tamed a giant spider
• Took a long rest at the beginning of the dungeon they had partially explored (Much to the confusion of the NPC who was waiting to pull them up the mineshaft- 'Why would you want to sleep in there? Why not at my house a few minutes away?')
• Went to fight the boss monster of the dungeon, a Nothic.
• Befriended said Nothic after he surrendered at 1 hp, naming him Nathanial.
• Terrified the NPC who was pulling them up the mineshaft by bringing the Nothic and Giant Spider up with them. 

I just started my new campaign with my buds, we're going on a less strict schedule since we all have big boy jobs now. Last night was our second session. In the first session, they were prisoners flung out of a living airship above a mega-jungle in the center of the country, and had to scramble to survive in the wild. This session, they used some nature skills and with the help of one of the npcs that survived the fall with them they managed to pinpoint the location of a nearby river that leads to a settlement. After some RP and a few environmental hazards, they spot a heavily obscured steamboat along the river, and the water near the steamboat has been frozen, locking the vessel in place. As they got closer, they noticed a horde of Kobold raiders who were brutalizing a group of guards from the ship crew due to sheer numbers, with their Dragonshield leading the vanguard and their sorcerer blasting away from the back lines. 
The party WANTED to sneak past them, but one of the stray tribesmen spotted them and started throwing spears and rocks and shouting bloody murder. Cue the beatdown of a lifetime for the lizard-chihuahua hybrids, ending with the wizard rolling a natural 20 on an ice knife spell and making the last kobold explode like a Cabbage Patch Kid stuffed with liquid nitrogen-infused C4. Seriously, these kobolds got murdered man, I thought it was actually pretty even when I designed the encounter, but I forgot to account for the Drakewarden's main ability and maybe should've added a few more beasties and what have you to compensate. Their NPC ally wasn't even close to the fight so they were still technically outnumbered, but meh, hindsight is 20/20. 
If the next session goes well we should be reaching the first city of the campaign, I'm very excited. 

Players managed to trap my abhorrent overlord in a flaming net, drown him with a water spell from the Bardlock and then the githyanki tore off its wings to wear as a trophy. But hey, at least the Warforged Ranger fell into the river after declaring she was really good at acrobatics.

Let me just post all 4 of my session summaries to show you what kind of Party I have.

Introductions:
Be me, DM (because that's obligatory right?)

Be players:
-Baxus Moonstrides, Leonin Hexblade Bardlock with the lady of the sea as his patron and technically a teacher at the mage guild.
-Borston R.D. Sox, Githyanki Eldritch Knight mercenary who got himself cast out of Vlaakith's grace.
-Dalek Skaro, Warforged Gloomstalker with a big case of the Amnesia. Likes to disguise herself as a creepy girl.
-Eira Silas, Half-elf Shepherd Druid with a Firbolg mother, naive but stronk. Father was a Celestial Warlock.
-Leniya Whynstar, Satyr Spirits Bard who was raised in nobility and is really close with Grima, a loxodon noble and main quest giver.
-Medina, Half-Dragon Beastmaster with an Emerald Dragon daddy. Somehow fooled everyone into thinking she's competent.
-Poppy Bloomburrow, Silver Dragonborn Moon Druid who is besties with the local prince and likes to be a doggo.
-Thorfinn Runèeye, Generic Dwarven Fighter (Rune Knight), retired mercenary who got pulled back after his daughter was kidnapped.

Session 1, Town and Turtle:
-The party got their mission from Grima after Petting her and violating her chair.
-The party raided the town for supplies, because never give people a platinum loxodon creditcard.
-Medina plays with a pig at the Cat Vet.
-Borston is the only one smart enough to check the General Store for Adventurers gear and gets health potions.
-The Gang heads out and comes upon a waterfall.
-They meet some big tooth puppies, that Medina convinces to leave peacefully.
-Baxus nearly gets clapped by an overgrown shield toad.
-Poppy abandons everyone for loot.
-Dalek kills the Turtle.

Session 2, Unit-Carrion:
-Poppy spreads the loot she found around the party.
-Dalek keeps a note from some loser named Inkwell.
-There are no cookies.
-The gang heads further into the woods.
-Dalek hears infernal binary and Baxus translates it to mean: Boy, they coming for yo ass.
-Medina and Leniya spot something moving on the cliffs.
-The gang is attacked by two golden flying murder sheep robots.
-Borston says: This is a no fly zone.
-Dalek's Waifu appears severly corrupted.
-Dalek turns his waifu into spare parts, only to get rammed down.
-Unit-Carrion appears and tries to take over Thorfinn's mind.
-Dalek gets some of his memories back after leaking a bit of scared oil.
-Thorfinn grows to the size of **** you and beats the shit out of Carrion only for Borston to killsteal with acid barf.
-Holy shit the golden sheeps breath fire.
-Poppy and Leniya finish off the devil goats.
-The gang loots away.
-Nobody sees how Dalek inserts a rod and a six-incher into herself.
-Thorfinn and Borston have a small argument over a silver weapon, but it gets resolved.

Session 3, Erring on the side of Caution:
-The party runs into Za Warudo, only Baxus and Dalek see it coming.
-Dalek fails to do anything about it, but Baxus is a charisma saving master.
-Baxus can't have talk about his lady without getting closer.
-Baxus meets a fellow warlock of the lady named Yolov Acht, who warns him about Azor and Yeenoghu.
-While Azor is still far away, Er, the disciple of Yeenoghu, attacks with her Gnoll warband.
-Baxus opens combat by shooting a Giant Hyena in the face.
-Oh gods she has a lot of gnolls with her.
-Baxus gives one of the Gnolls swimming lessons, she drowns.
-Er and Medina have an epic face-off, and Medina almost goes down as Er thinks she's quite the snack. 
-Dalek tells Thorfinn that Er is posessed and they discuss killing her. Er does not like this.
-A stealthy gnoll in a tree shoots Eria.
-Poppy takes some potshots and kills a Gnoll.
-Thorfinn puts on his dog trainer's sleeve and holds off a giant hyena.
-Borston kills the Giant Hyena that came charging in.
-Dalek shoots some arrows into the other Giant Hyena to kill it.
-Thorfinn finally finish off the witherling that's been axeing him some questions.
-Baxus becomes a ****** tag and tickles the Er and her friends with his dead friend's tentacles.
-Leniya lashes out with her thunder and brings down Er and the tree gnoll, it also ****s up the gnoll thats in her face.
-The tide has really turned now as Borston kills Er's mate Karhork.
-Grimefinger, the last Gnoll standing, tries to nope out. But Leniya's grace pierces his heart.
-It do be looting time as the party slits the throats of the unconcious gnolls.
-Baxus gets a pipe from his colleague and some diamonds from a gnoll.
-Dalek gets arrows and diamonds.
-Eria be making that Hyena Hide Drip.
-Thorfinn gets something every Dwarf dreams of, a magic axe.
-Leniya finds a wonderstick.
-Poppy and Borston find potions.
-Medina loots the person that kept biting her and gets a magic scroll.
-Baxus burries Yolov Acht and the party moves on.

Session 4: The Angel and the Demon:
-Oshita bridge.
-Stonework goes everywhere as an angel comes falling out of the sky.
-Luxrael knows your daddy, Eira.
-Eira thinks it hurt when this girl fell down from heaven (cure wounds time).
-Druidic Angel asks for help from little forest girl.
-Azor descends upon this bridge, Baxus disapproves.
-Dalek provokes the big guy into a fight.
-Luxrael says Bless You to Thorfinn and the Druids, its super effective.
-Harpies incoming!
-Harpies dying!
-Giant Vulture incoming!
-Elzebar smells gold, Poppy has gold, Elzebar wants Poppy's gold.
-Elzebar's breath stinks enough to curse Poppy.
-Its a fight for the ages, as Leniya and Medina show their acrobatics.
-Medina absolutely destroys the Giant Vulture.
-Azor manipulates Baxus into denting Borston's armor.
-Borston's a bit miffed and throws a net at Azor.
-Thorfinn gets an idea and throws a flaming net over Azor.
-Luxrael smacks Elzebar, Elzebar smacks Eira harder.
-One of the vultures is blue now, good job Leniya.
-Poppy kills Elzebar with her ice sword.
-For the first time in his life, Borston is send running away.
-Thorfinn beats the everliving shit out of Azor.
-Baxus finishes it by drowning the traitor in his Lady's Waters.
-Clean up is swift between Dalek and Borston.
-Plot twist: Poppy also wants Elzebar's gold.
-Thorfinn finds a strange lantern that can communicate with his dead wife.
-Leniya gains a scroll that can contact other worlds.
-Baxus transforms his axe into a flaming demon axe drenched in everlasting seawater.
-Eira has a conversation with Luxrael about her dad.
-Luxrael is a homewrecker.
-Eira gets a staff and a ring to buy off the guilt.
-Dalek emberasses herself by falling into the river in front of Baxus, Leniya and Thorfinn.
-Borston gets some edgelord wings for his armor and some blue feathers.
-Everyone has crossed that bridge when they got there and can move on.


(this is all summarized in a humorous way, if anybody has questions about specific parts, tell me, because I can't judge how much can be followed from just these notes. But didn't feel like retyping everything into a giant story for now)

So I'm running Waterdeep: Dragon Heist but it is set in my own homebrew continent and city that is across the sea of Faerun.  I've made some name changes to the factions that are included in the game to try and give the city its own identity.  I kept Volo as a person who gets around as well as the Yawning Portal that is a sister tavern to the one in the real Waterdeep.   

Without going into too maximum verbose I quickly broke out the details of the last game.

Continue Glacier Bay: Dragon Heist
• Chapter 1

Trudging through the sewers --> Uh oh watch post --> Goblins sleeping on the job --> How low can you go --> Stealth --> Enter the Zonthall Guild hideout --> Sleeping Goblins --> Wakey Wakey! --> Pommel to the head --> Combat --> Goblins get a cold --> Exploring the hideout --> Zemk and Krentz --> Molly wants to dance --> Enlarge Zemk --> Molly to the knees --> Krentz gets a cold --> What’s behind this door --> Privy Ooze --> Combat --> Ooze Dance with Tolly --> Ooze catches a cold --> Runaway --> Sebastian takes the lead --> Sebastian Walks into something --> Half-Orc --> Mind Flayer --> Intellect Devourer --> Floon --> Sebastian has a smoke in the corner --> Combat --> Mind Flayer not interest and walks away --> Intellect Devourer on the loose --> Half Orc catches a cold --> Tolly is down! Tolly is down! --> Esmond hadouken --> Brain splatter --> Floom has been rescued --> Final boss, the Ooze is back --> Leading an Ooze by a half-orc --> Runaway --> Exit the hideout --> Try this ladder --> Nope, not this ladder --> Back to the surface --> To the Yawning Portal --> Where is my money, Volo --> How about a deed to some property instead --> Welll it’s a fixer upper --> Welcome to Trollskull Manor

In my last session the players:

• Asked Nathaniel the Nothic to help them discover secrets they had forgotten
• Learned that their mental blocks were too strong for him to navigate past and were advised to seek stronger telepaths
• Spoke with a farmer who didn't trust them and learned about his missing potatoes
• Invaded a kobold warren
• Shoved a kobold off a ledge, only to discover he had wings
• Fell in a pit trap, then fell in again when one of the bypass ledges collapsed under them
• Got a bridge collapsed out from under them
• Got mad at the kobold NPC for his after-the-fact warning
• Found the potatoes and a secret passage

last session of Icewind Dale, my players went to Dougan's Hole looking for quests. They were told about the wolves stealing 2 kids and went to Norsu's (who i renamed to Manny because... yes) house to rescue them. Manny impaled the monk's girlfriend with his tusk, which caused the monk to beg the gods for help. The only deity who heard him was Auril... after that, the rogue and the wizard absolutely destroyed Manny, and Auril showed up and congratulated them and then gave them some blessings, and I ended the session. 

So that was fun

It is a fixer-upper --> Tour of Trollskull Manor --> Ok, we can do something with this --> Mauly’s? --> So, what’s the catch? --> Why did you buy it, Volo --> Ok, we’ll take it --> Meet up at highsun --> Sebastian tours Trollskull Alley --> Camp outside Frewn’s Brews --> Wren goes to Hammerhawk Hall --> I’d like the property records for Trollskull Manor --> That will be 10 gold --> Why not free --> That will be 10 gold and eight hours --> Tolly plays with Chew Toy --> Esmond visits the Cathedral of the Patheon -->  Highsun --> Volo is late --> Volo is very, very late --> Volo is going to stiff us --> Volo and Renaer appear --> Meeting Kylynne --> Let’s get this over with I have better things to do --> Sign here and here and here --> You are proud owners of Trollskull Manor --> Back at the Manor --> Sebastian is this whiskey good? --> [Sebastian] Visit by a Cat (Jaderose) --> [Tolly] Message in his head (Ironguard) --> [Wren] Paper bird to the Opera (Gentle Foxes) --> [Sebastian, Wren] Visit by Savra Belabramta (Brightthorns) --> First night --> [Tolly] Raven note (Ravensong) --> What to do first --> Visit Stoneholme Keep --> Meeting the Blackstaff --> Join the Ironguard as an Ironhand --> That’s for the invite --> Head to the Yawning Portal --> Humberhulk dinner show --> Collect some information --> About Jaderose and Brightthorns --> Tolly is invited to the Ravensong --> Thanks, good to know --> Tolly is given a warning about Ravensong --> Thanks, good to know --> Going Phaulkonmere to check out the Jaderose 

The party had acquired a “Scroll of Comet” from the body of a particularly angry evocation wizard; and suddenly, they had a viable way to deal with the Frostmaiden’s gargantuan mount, a flying roc.

If they took out the roc, they would stop the Frostmaiden.

They waited until the two of them flew into their lair, and proceeded to activate the scroll…like an orbital laser, both the lair, the roc, and the Frostmaiden were engulfed in light.

Amidst the rubble, the party found the giant dead bird…and a very angry Frostmaiden, in her icy form.

Rather than run, they fought…after a harrowing combat, they shattered her icy form…and suddenly was replaced by an Aspect of Winter, cold and terrible to behold. The party became enshrouded in a furious storm.

Our Warlock nearly went down; but our Paladin did the unthinkable and used their Lay on Hands to heal them for a BIG chunk of health.

It was enough to turn the tide and destroy her…and for the first time in months, the morning sun fell upon Icewind Dale.

Quote from UndauntedDM >>

In my last session the players:

• Asked Nathaniel the Nothic to help them discover secrets they had forgotten
• Learned that their mental blocks were too strong for him to navigate past and were advised to seek stronger telepaths
• Spoke with a farmer who didn't trust them and learned about his missing potatoes
• Invaded a kobold warren
• Shoved a kobold off a ledge, only to discover he had wings
• Fell in a pit trap, then fell in again when one of the bypass ledges collapsed under them
• Got a bridge collapsed out from under them
• Got mad at the kobold NPC for his after-the-fact warning
• Found the potatoes and a secret passage

 YES THEY FOUND THE POTATOES! YAY!

TPK and one of them is big mad about it. Oofskies. :( Gotta start doing all my rolls in the open just so they see that I'm not doing it on purpose, I just roll like a god against a recklessing barbarian when hitting them with 2x nimblewright's 3 attacks.

Quote from Lycaon1765p >>

TPK and one of them is big mad about it. Oofskies. :( Gotta start doing all my rolls in the open just so they see that I'm not doing it on purpose, I just roll like a god against a recklessing barbarian when hitting them with 2x nimblewright's 3 attacks.

 Should not worry about TPK it happens but you should not open roll because of it.  Kkeep the game running the way you have been playing.  No need to adjust because the dice were in your favor.  Maybe look at the Encounter to see if it was too challenging for the party or did the party just make some dumb decisions that put them in a TPK situation?

Also is the party dead-dead or dead but really unconscious and captured?

Quote from willow_ivyleaf >>

Quote from UndauntedDM >>

In my last session the players:

• Asked Nathaniel the Nothic to help them discover secrets they had forgotten
• Learned that their mental blocks were too strong for him to navigate past and were advised to seek stronger telepaths
• Spoke with a farmer who didn't trust them and learned about his missing potatoes
• Invaded a kobold warren
• Shoved a kobold off a ledge, only to discover he had wings
• Fell in a pit trap, then fell in again when one of the bypass ledges collapsed under them
• Got a bridge collapsed out from under them
• Got mad at the kobold NPC for his after-the-fact warning
• Found the potatoes and a secret passage

 YES THEY FOUND THE POTATOES! YAY!

 Yes the taters were very precious.

The Drow Civil War has taken on alarming dimensions.  What began as a battle between two houses has grown into a multiversal struggle between the forces of Lolth and those dark elves who wish to be free of her bondage.  

This is how the group of cousins who make up the inner circle of House Køk find themselves in a spaceship.  They have joined, as little more than mercenaries, the army of one of the most prominent dark elves not aligned with the Spider Queen.  

His name is Malekith the Accursed, King of Svartalfheim.  And this is the day he invades Asgard, the home of the Norse gods.  Because Christmas is a time for campaigns to be a little silly and everyone loves Marvel movies, so why not give the players a chance to be in everyone's favorite Marvel movie:  Thor 2 - The Dark World?!

Anyway.they fly around in their spaceship and blow up two flying longboats, then crash into the Royal Palace, disembark and start shooting Vikings with their +3 antimatter rifles.

The team makes a beeline for the Treasure Vault, located down near the dungeons.  The dungeon, however, is chockablock with the scum of the Nine Realms brawling with the Mighty Thor himself along with the Warriors Three.  Not much chance there.  

Continuing to explore while they avoid scattered battles between Malekith's elves and the forces of Odin, the stealthy drow overhear a conversation between a disheveled man,  a regal lady, and a talking raccoon.  Following the raccoon into a quiet chamber they see it use a scientific device to extract a glowing red blob from a petite human woman.  Seizing their moment, they plunge the room into darkness, physically tackle the raccoon and steal the blob, device and all.

Calura suddenly realizes that the mutations inflicted on him by the mind flayers may have left him capable of processing the raw power of this object.  He may in fact, have been made for this exact moment.  Rather than being disintegrated by the red blob, he attunes to it.  With but a thought, he then transports all of his cousins and himself to the observatory at the edge of the city.  Finding a sword left in a mechanism in the center of the room, the group manages to open the Rainbow Bridge, which the ranger recognizes as an inter dimensional highway which intersects with the Demonweb Pits.  The group make their escape back home, now armed with a weapon actually capable of harming Lolth herself.  And the war enters its endgame.

The party enjoyed some downtime at a festival, where the drinking contest foolishly occurs in the morning so half our party was wasted for the following events. The druid entered himself in an animal show and won, despite staggering around the stage drunkenly bleating a song, but turned back into a dwarf onstage and had to flee his angry competitors. An especially irate goat stalked him for the rest of the session. The warlock lost a napping competition to the all-time champ, who may actually be dead. The warlock and bard gained four points of exhaustion each in a chili pepper eating competition, which was won by the twelve-year-old girl we are trying (and failing) to find a home for. The rogue took significant brain freeze damage in a slushie drinking contest. And my ranger, Aith, had to stay up all night and play Mom to the others while they suffered the consequences of the competitions.

It was our usual brand of chaos, but also an unusually wholesome session. The whole party - even the evil warlock - pooled all of their gold to get Aith some better armor. She tried to refuse, but they argued that it was their way of protecting her like she always protects them. The leftover funds were used to enter a couple of people in the archery contest so we could win a magic arrow for the rogue. And after the bard, Ghost, admitted she has no last name because she was abandoned as a baby, the final scene of the session was Aith explaining how the lonely have always been welcome to join her family, inviting Ghost to share her name and be her sister.

Good question. I wasn't able to be there.

Surprise Chapter of the Drow Civil War!  The Empire of Lolth has struck back against the House of Køk and its allies.  Under the command of the recently promoted Field Marshal Eclavdra of House Eilserv of Œarth, the Spider Queen's forces deal a series of devastating setbacks to the rebels.  Meanwhile, the mutant telepath Calura struggles to increase his novice command of the Reality Stone before its power causes him to explode.

The cousins who form the command team of House Køk find themselves manacled to a flatbed railroad car hurtling down an underground track towards a large pile of explosives.  Calura has been sealed inside an unbreakable box so as to neutralize his shape changing abilities.  In five minutes, they die.  The one ace they have up their sleeve?  Their enemies hadn't realized that the unpredictable Krump had been cultivating a powerful warlock patronage relationship with a very sketchy demon known only as Monkey.  With a successful Acrobatics roll to properly yoga his way into seeing the exact spot required, Krump dimension doors not only himself out of his bonds, but Calura out of his glass box.  They remain on the railroad car though. Krump (who is on a roll), casts Earthbind and the tunnel walls grab Calura by the ankles. Calura, putting his shapeshifting powers and a psi-bolstered str save to the limit stops the car with only massive internal injuries!  

At the end of the tracks, the team recovers some of the explosives and finds their way into their actual destination - The Valley of Firesky!  An underground world almost 20 miles across lit by an unexplainable floating river of elemental magma.  The ash falling from the magma has created a rich soil in which grow a fantastic variety of fungi and a large peaceful colony of myconoids.  The very choicest of these loving creatures are carefully selected by orcish artisans and harvested (both as a food source for themselves and the drow) and also as a potent source of exotic poisons.  The party made their way to the orcish settlement at Shiny Rock, hoping to find answers in this, Krump's adopted homeland.  Why had their enemies tried to capture Firesky, gone to the trouble of building a railroad and then tried to seal the cavern off forever?  Their first clue was when they were attacked by a former Commando-Priestess of Lolth who had succumbed to some sort of fungal infection and was now no more than a lifeless zombie.  Several sticks of dynamite later, they arrived at Shiny Rock, where they learned the whole story from Drog, The Inscriber of Days, village leader and father figure to Krump.  Recently, the signs were clear that the balance had tipped and the Mushroom God was regaining the upper hand over the orcs, whose numbers had been depleted by the arrival of the enemy drow.  The only thing to be done was to retrieve the Horn of Kukundu and summon Inhapi the Restorer.  The untimely arrival of Lolth's troops had left the orcs with no one to spare.

After a night of wild dancing and feasting, the group made their way to the Temple of Kukundu and fought the 30' marble giant who defended the horn.  They defeated him, but the cave collapsed in the fight and they had to dig themselves out.  By the time they returned to Shiny Rock, they found the settlement under attack by Zuggtmoy herself!.  Krump blew the horn, the sound of which resonated all through Shiny Rock, causing the cavern walls themselves to tremble with subsonic energy.  The rest of the group got to dynamiting.

They managed to blow up the first avatar of The Rotting Queen, but with a mycelium covering over 300 square miles, she instantly began to regrow.  Things were looking desperate when the entire far cavern wall disintegrated and a purple worm a mile in circumference appeared, devouring acres of the valley floor at a time, mushroom and drow and orc alike!  "The time of Inhapi the Restorer has come!!!" shouted Drog, Inscriber of Days. "Now, we flee for our lives!" 

A mad scramble to the top of Shiny Rock left the party and a small group of survivors watching Inhapi restore the valley to a simpler state before disappearing into the depths from which it came.  As the heroes left the valley, Drog began to inscribe the arrival of a new day!

My last 3 sessions were extremely good fun!

First two were my first playtest of a one-shot I've been writing up, and it went stunningly well, I got feedback like "it felt like a campaign" and "That was the best oneshot I've ever played", which gave me phenomenally warm feelings inside. The game was called the Steepfield Cheese Festival, where someone trying to play a prank results in an evil mage trying to destroy the town. It was great fun, and I'm looking forward to tweaking it and running again with other players to see how it runs (it was a little tough, I downplayed the monsters a bit throughout, so I think I will up the player level by 1 for the next run).

Last night was picking up the 1:1 campaign I am running for my fiancée, where Molly the half-elf ranger had just rescued her horse Jennifer from some bandits and then proceeded to get both her and the horse stuck in the sewers below the town of Midwood, by jumping her horse onto a boat which was entering the underground river system.

Start of play sees Molly with 8hp, entering the sewers. She makes her way into a flooded chamber, and tests the water with her mage hand by slapping it. As she does so, she notices some larger ripples come from a large pipe. She had to climb up to the upper walkway to start a mechanism to open the gate, and when she did so, a Crocodile slipped out of the pipe. I had hoped for the croc to be seen from above, but instead it rolled a nat 20 on stealth and Molly didn't see it until it tried to bite her in half! She then whaled on the croc, and killed it in one round, then skinned it to boot. She didn't notice that it had one white eye.

Molly then found a safe room to rest in, and leveled up (I'm doing level-ups on long rests, not mid-adventure) to level 6.

Molly left Jennifer in the room to scout ahead, and she then promptly set off a tripwire and a jet of water pushed her from the walkway and into the river. Two failed attempts to climb out later and she was swept over the waterfall, and down a surprisingly short drop into a large net.

She managed to climb out of the net as two men (one a youthful human, the other a large dwarf) came over, and by the way they were talking, they knew she was there. They said things like "He's always right, she's here somewhere". They weren't hostile, and when Molly crept up on one and held him hostage against the other, the dwarf negotiated to swap places as hostage ("Only his mum would never forgive me if he got hurt, see?"), and she saw the dwarf had one white eye. He brought her to a large cave, with a canal branching off the underground river and several buildings. There was also a sign, woven from wicker, of a fist with the thumb and ring fingers extended.

She was introduced to Felizio Greed, who declared himself "The ring finger of the Midwood Cellar". He commended her on her swiftness, to her confusion, and placed two bags of gold on the table. "It's 100 gold for the bounty on the Thug (referring to the blackwind brothers who took her horse, she killed one, the other was dumped in the river), "which I know you killed, and 300 for the other, which I do not. Is Byron Blackwind dead?". One failed dewception roll later and she got 92 gold (100, less 8 gold for the crocodile we have to replace). She was then offered a job escorting the wagons they were loading in a caravan East to the Port of Preen, which is where she was heading anyway. She haggled for the 300 gold reward, and Felizio begrudgingly accepted.

Molly then went to find food, and met a very strange character called Tim. Tim is a Bitling, which is a bizarre and disturbing thing made of the bits of variuous other creatures. He scurries around on a couple of dozen fingers, has one arm with a three-fingered hand on the end, two mouths, about 8 eyes, and all manner of patchy skin and fur all over his lump of a body. He also has the temperament of an overexcited toddler, and is the chef. He came rushing over to Molly, and when she drew her sword said in awe "Are you an adventurer?". Molly soon realised Tim wasn't a threat, he made her a delicious sandwich (he went to the kitchen, she tried to leave, but he caught up with her - those finger-legs are fast!). He said he'd show her the dorm rooms, and she told him to meet her outside. Meanwhile, she had sent her raven beast to go to see what was in the wagons, and it came back to tell her that the wagons contained "coloured shiny ice rocks" and "Small stone statues". The ice rocks she worked out meant jewels, and the statues she assumed meant statues. 

She then met Tim again, who showed her his toy horse with enormous pride, asking if Jennifer was her horse. She asked Tim what the horses name was, and he replied that he did not know, because the person who made it would have named her and he did not know them. She suggested Tim named the horse, and Tim said he didn't know how. She asked Tim what his favourite name was, and Tim bashfully replied "Molly." He was awed when Molly said he could name his horse Molly.

Tim showed her to a dorm room, which she saw had a name plaque hung on it, made from bent cutlery, which said "Moly". She rested there, as Tim said "I have to go back to Mum". She learnt from Tim that the Bitling Mother is huge and made all Tim's brothers and sisters, and that this room is the best room as it is closest to Mum. We ended the session there.

Afterwards, I explained how Bitlings are created by the offcuts of the creation of a flesh golem being too close when the golem is animated, stitching together into an abombination. These bitlings possess the ability to stitch new bitlings together using magical thread, and that is what the mother is. Bitling Mums are like giant sea anemones of hands, and the Bitlings make a pile of body parts from anything they can salvage (Roadkill, carcasses, graveyards, battlefields, etc.) on top of the Mum, and she then folds it up and stitches it into more Bitlings. Bitling Mums are fiercely proud of their babies, with the pathological madness of the extreme american mother whose baby can never do wrong. Never insult a Bitling, for it will run ton Mum to tell her, and that is not the wrath you want to bring down on yourself. However, a Bitling Mum is an excellent, if unorthodox healer, and can stitch you back together easily enough, and even substitute limbs if your party didn't bring those too! Just be sure to tell her exactly what you want!

Quote from UndauntedDM >>

In my last session the players:

• Asked Nathaniel the Nothic to help them discover secrets they had forgotten
• Learned that their mental blocks were too strong for him to navigate past and were advised to seek stronger telepaths
• Spoke with a farmer who didn't trust them and learned about his missing potatoes
• Invaded a kobold warren
• Shoved a kobold off a ledge, only to discover he had wings
• Fell in a pit trap, then fell in again when one of the bypass ledges collapsed under them
• Got a bridge collapsed out from under them
• Got mad at the kobold NPC for his after-the-fact warning
• Found the potatoes and a secret passage

 Ah, I see the Nothic made it in

Out of the abyss, session 1, yesterday: 

-Chained in a cell, no weapons, no magic.

-Some guards go on break, one is left. I call the guard over to the bars.

-To DM: "I attack him"

-The dm reminds us that we nave no gear or magic in this cell

-oops

-uhh

-"I pee on the guard whilst insulting his mother"

-DM: "uhh...roll to hit?, Improvised weapon?"

-Of course, nat 20

-the guard slips on it and falls off the nearby railing. He does not survive the fall.

And so ends the tale of my dumbest nat 20 so far