Tldr: should I play my character as i i originally intended or change to help others/make the story actually happen.
So i wrote up my gnome rouge to be an antisocial ass but it turns out my group of friends half of which said they were experienced in game play are like herding cats. So I've fallen into the roll of party leader which isn't what I want. For example it was 6 hours of play before our dm forced us into becoming a party because no one did anything besides just following me or drinking at the tavern. And last session was 3 hours of an unwinnable encounter that could have been avoided if people payed attention and i only got us out of it because of a kind dm and Minor illusion. So im im a loss for what to do
I would say change the character. But do it in game. This means that they soften up, over a couple of sessions. I would also advise talking to the group on them actually playing and doing what their characters would, not just following you.
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'The Cleverness of mushrooms always surprises me!' - Ivern Bramblefoot.
Cooperative storytelling gives some control of one's story over to others... but the account sounds like there's a question of cooperation - whether your character and you, personally, are being forced to drag everyone else along because they're not participating. That's just what it appears to me, but the Internet medium being what it is, I'm very likely wrong about the impression.
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Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Yeah basically we have a couple that are just following and not trying to do anything themselves to advance the story. And one who tends to do things that derail something we're trying to do. Basically 3 people are afraid to make choices 3 of us are working together well and advancing things and one derails things if given the chance mainly because they're having trouble seeing themselves as part of a party. Which is forcing me to lead the party and i don't want to do that but no one else steps up.
The character I am playing at the present has not gone according to plan at all. He's a bard warlock multi-class. The original plan was 1-2 levels of bard and the rest warlock to blast things to bits. It's not played out like that at all. The Paladin|Cleric for example, doesn't buff or heal like he said he wanted to (I was originally going to go divine sorc|warlock to bless and emergency heal + blast). So, as the celestial warlock, I've gone from backup heals to primary heals in the group, and that's OK. The lack of supporters in the group made me advance my bard leveling, I took bard 2 sooner than I planned to get song of rest to help the party recover HP on short rests better. Tonight, I made level 6, and took bard 3 which was /never/ part of the plan, but it buys me two extra 2nd level spell slots plus a bardic college (Glamour) with should help the party out considerably. I want my ASI /badly/ but the situation hasn't allowed for that. It's back to warlock the rest of the way now, or such is the plan. We'll see how that works out for me.
As far as leadership, sometimes it comes when you don't want it. When I was in the army, I went out to the vil with some of my buddies. I was a Specialist (E4), they were a PFC (E3) and PV2 (E2) respectively. I avoided leadership like the plague, I dislike being responsible for other people. Now, at the time, we had a curfew of 0200. PFC Jennings decided he was /not/ going back to post. The PV2 (I don't remember her name any longer sadly) decided she was sticking with Jennings. What do I do? Do I leave my drunk-ass buddies out there, or do I step up and try to protect them as best I can? I decided to break curfew myself and try to help those morons hide from the MPs so we could get back on base after 0500 when the gates opened back up and we'd avoid getting in trouble. I didn't WANT to be responsible for them, but sometimes you just have to look out for them when they need you to do so.
If nobody else is willing to do it, you can either choose to lead or let the game disintegrate. It's your call really, but if you want to play, it sounds like you're going to have to lead. I'd just accept it and maybe later on, they'll step up some and you can move to the side a bit more.
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Any time an unfathomably powerful entity sweeps in and offers godlike rewards in return for just a few teensy favors, it’s a scam. Unless it’s me. I’d never lie to you, reader dearest.
It's partially a question of whether leading or being the only one actually playing.
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Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
You're describing a really good opportunity for character development. Background may inform certain choices, but your actions in game--you know, frontstory over backstory. This is a loner that has had to assume the mantle of leadership. It would reflect a change in that character.
If you're the experienced player with a bunch of newer players, you'll need to show them how to play by example. To do so, you'll naturally need to fill some kind of leadership role in the party. I'd put a bookmark in your edgy, antisocial character until you're with a party you think it'll work with.
That isn't to say however that you have to be a "Tally ho! :) :)" type of leader. You can be a reluctant leader, maybe a world-weary type who knows that if they don't take charge then nothing will get done, but they don't have to like it.
Basically you shouldn't shy away from taking charge, but that doesn't necessarily pigeonhole your character's personality any which way.
That's basically what I've been doing but the main things are the other people not getting involved and i dont enjoy leading so its kind of killing some of the fun. Plus I hate metagaming so telling people what to do doesn't sit well for me when technically my charter doesn't know much about the other ones
In that case it might be time for an out of game discussion with the dungeon master about player engagement and player buy-in. What follows that, if the DM agrees there's a problem, is that the DM might then speak to players individually and ask what might be holding them back from being immersed in the game or making active choices and maybe address those problems with the players themselves, OR if the issue is something they feel the whole group should discuss, then maybe before a session sometime you can kind of have a late session zero round-table where the players discuss their expectations of the game and try and identify the sorts of things you're all hoping to get out of it.
It could be that your unengaged characters are refusing to make choices because they're terrified of making a wrong one and dying-- then maybe the DM can reassure them that they don't really run a "save or die" type game, and for the most part there isn't going to be one right choice and one death choice when they present options before the party.
Or maybe they're not engaging because they're uncomfortable speaking in character. Then maybe the DM can reassure them that that's not a necessity. You don't always have to do a voice or speak in the first person to play a role-playing game, and some people are just more comfortable saying "my character does X" or "my character pats the npc on the back and tries to comfort him". That's fine, players do it. Even some DMs do it.
My point being that it sounds like a solvable problem, but the solution should be one that the DM initiates so it doesn't appear that anyone's being called out. You should definitely talk to your DM and then maybe they'll find out the other player's hangups and be able to address them.
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Tldr: should I play my character as i i originally intended or change to help others/make the story actually happen.
So i wrote up my gnome rouge to be an antisocial ass but it turns out my group of friends half of which said they were experienced in game play are like herding cats. So I've fallen into the roll of party leader which isn't what I want. For example it was 6 hours of play before our dm forced us into becoming a party because no one did anything besides just following me or drinking at the tavern. And last session was 3 hours of an unwinnable encounter that could have been avoided if people payed attention and i only got us out of it because of a kind dm and Minor illusion. So im im a loss for what to do
I would say change the character. But do it in game. This means that they soften up, over a couple of sessions. I would also advise talking to the group on them actually playing and doing what their characters would, not just following you.
'The Cleverness of mushrooms always surprises me!' - Ivern Bramblefoot.
I'll worldbuild for your DnD games!
Just a D&D enjoyer, check out my fiverr page if you need any worldbuilding done for ya!
Cooperative storytelling gives some control of one's story over to others... but the account sounds like there's a question of cooperation - whether your character and you, personally, are being forced to drag everyone else along because they're not participating. That's just what it appears to me, but the Internet medium being what it is, I'm very likely wrong about the impression.
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Yeah basically we have a couple that are just following and not trying to do anything themselves to advance the story. And one who tends to do things that derail something we're trying to do. Basically 3 people are afraid to make choices 3 of us are working together well and advancing things and one derails things if given the chance mainly because they're having trouble seeing themselves as part of a party. Which is forcing me to lead the party and i don't want to do that but no one else steps up.
Sometimes you just have to go with the flow.
The character I am playing at the present has not gone according to plan at all. He's a bard warlock multi-class. The original plan was 1-2 levels of bard and the rest warlock to blast things to bits. It's not played out like that at all. The Paladin|Cleric for example, doesn't buff or heal like he said he wanted to (I was originally going to go divine sorc|warlock to bless and emergency heal + blast). So, as the celestial warlock, I've gone from backup heals to primary heals in the group, and that's OK. The lack of supporters in the group made me advance my bard leveling, I took bard 2 sooner than I planned to get song of rest to help the party recover HP on short rests better. Tonight, I made level 6, and took bard 3 which was /never/ part of the plan, but it buys me two extra 2nd level spell slots plus a bardic college (Glamour) with should help the party out considerably. I want my ASI /badly/ but the situation hasn't allowed for that. It's back to warlock the rest of the way now, or such is the plan. We'll see how that works out for me.
As far as leadership, sometimes it comes when you don't want it. When I was in the army, I went out to the vil with some of my buddies. I was a Specialist (E4), they were a PFC (E3) and PV2 (E2) respectively. I avoided leadership like the plague, I dislike being responsible for other people. Now, at the time, we had a curfew of 0200. PFC Jennings decided he was /not/ going back to post. The PV2 (I don't remember her name any longer sadly) decided she was sticking with Jennings. What do I do? Do I leave my drunk-ass buddies out there, or do I step up and try to protect them as best I can? I decided to break curfew myself and try to help those morons hide from the MPs so we could get back on base after 0500 when the gates opened back up and we'd avoid getting in trouble. I didn't WANT to be responsible for them, but sometimes you just have to look out for them when they need you to do so.
If nobody else is willing to do it, you can either choose to lead or let the game disintegrate. It's your call really, but if you want to play, it sounds like you're going to have to lead. I'd just accept it and maybe later on, they'll step up some and you can move to the side a bit more.
Any time an unfathomably powerful entity sweeps in and offers godlike rewards in return for just a few teensy favors, it’s a scam. Unless it’s me. I’d never lie to you, reader dearest.
Tasha
It's partially a question of whether leading or being the only one actually playing.
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
You're describing a really good opportunity for character development. Background may inform certain choices, but your actions in game--you know, frontstory over backstory. This is a loner that has had to assume the mantle of leadership. It would reflect a change in that character.
If you're the experienced player with a bunch of newer players, you'll need to show them how to play by example. To do so, you'll naturally need to fill some kind of leadership role in the party. I'd put a bookmark in your edgy, antisocial character until you're with a party you think it'll work with.
That isn't to say however that you have to be a "Tally ho! :) :)" type of leader. You can be a reluctant leader, maybe a world-weary type who knows that if they don't take charge then nothing will get done, but they don't have to like it.
Basically you shouldn't shy away from taking charge, but that doesn't necessarily pigeonhole your character's personality any which way.
That's basically what I've been doing but the main things are the other people not getting involved and i dont enjoy leading so its kind of killing some of the fun. Plus I hate metagaming so telling people what to do doesn't sit well for me when technically my charter doesn't know much about the other ones
Plus I'm not the experienced one just the one who actually read their character sheet and has a brain for strategy
In that case it might be time for an out of game discussion with the dungeon master about player engagement and player buy-in. What follows that, if the DM agrees there's a problem, is that the DM might then speak to players individually and ask what might be holding them back from being immersed in the game or making active choices and maybe address those problems with the players themselves, OR if the issue is something they feel the whole group should discuss, then maybe before a session sometime you can kind of have a late session zero round-table where the players discuss their expectations of the game and try and identify the sorts of things you're all hoping to get out of it.
It could be that your unengaged characters are refusing to make choices because they're terrified of making a wrong one and dying-- then maybe the DM can reassure them that they don't really run a "save or die" type game, and for the most part there isn't going to be one right choice and one death choice when they present options before the party.
Or maybe they're not engaging because they're uncomfortable speaking in character. Then maybe the DM can reassure them that that's not a necessity. You don't always have to do a voice or speak in the first person to play a role-playing game, and some people are just more comfortable saying "my character does X" or "my character pats the npc on the back and tries to comfort him". That's fine, players do it. Even some DMs do it.
My point being that it sounds like a solvable problem, but the solution should be one that the DM initiates so it doesn't appear that anyone's being called out. You should definitely talk to your DM and then maybe they'll find out the other player's hangups and be able to address them.