A lot falls on the shoulders of the DM in making a fun game. This does not, however, remove all responsibility from the player.
What do you think are important player responsibilities?
I'll start:
I think it's the player's biggest responsibility to join the adventure/party. [A thousand exclamation marks and triple bolding, all caps]
This is one of the few things where the DM can feel helpless. The DM will try to create a hook that allows each player character to become invested in the adventure.
But if the player says things like "my character has no reason to join this party/adventure. He goes to the pub"
What?
It's -your- character. If you cannot, in the depths of an imaginary sentient mind, come up with a plausible motive to join this party, then you need to make a better character.
The DM's job is to make the game, but the players must actively play the game.
I say any type of character of any alignment can quite easily join any adventure/group with just a little character bending. Then with an open mind you can later figure out motives to stay and become close.
I've seen players who can find believable and interesting motives in the weirdest places and for seriously misfitting characters, and then I've seen players who actively sabotage the game for hours by refusing to find a motive to join/stay.
I've never experianced a PC who refuses to join the adventure and there are only two reasons I can think it would happen:
The player doesn't want to play D&D they want ot spend time with te other players but don't like the game. In this case they can just be a spectator as long as they are not too disruptive
The player doesn't want to play with their current PC, either because they become bored or they feel they could only make a character that is not suitable for antentures. to take an extreme if we roll for stats and I roll nothing higher than a 10 and the DM doesn't allow me to re-roll / use point but instead, I would think my options are to quit the game, play a reckless character that quickly dies or play a character that doesn't adventure
I think one of the main player responsibilities is the opposite, to create a player that the rest of the party will be willing to adventure with. in my experiance it is very common for this to be breached when the PC is evil, especially CE. If a character is continuously stealing from the group, running away as soon as combat starts, attacking innocent NPCs (when the rest of the party are good / neutral aligned) etc the rest of the party would either boot them out the group or kill them.
The biggest responibility is to ensure all the other players enjoy the game. The above rule is part of this (if your character is stealing all the other characters items the other players are likely to not enjoy the game) but it also encompases things like not trying to take all the spotlight, not endlessly argueing about the rules, not cheating etc.
The other reason I've seen players refuse to join an adventure besides the ones Jegpeg listed is when a GM really does an awful job of coming up with an adventure. Either there's a Mary Sue DMPC who looks like they're going to be the real star of things while the party gets reduced to being cheerleaders or there's a plot or themes that are boring, overly complicated, or blatantly railroaded in ways that the players don't want.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Find your own truth, choose your enemies carefully, and never deal with a dragon.
"Canon" is what's factual to D&D lore. "Cannon" is what you're going to be shot with if you keep getting the word wrong.
I don’t find these types of players actually have any sort of in game roadblock. In my experience, every single player I ever encountered who made a character that did not want to join and work with the party just expected to become the centre of attention and put the whole game on hold while their ego was stroked. It generally didn’t stop at being difficult to recruit either; they also wanted to be the arbiter of the party’s direction going forward. They were not good team members and would do things like participate in planning but then go completely off script during execution. We even had one who wanted us to stop using our fireplace IRL and to end our game sessions an hour earlier than normal! Basically, they were all very selfish people, looking to control and manipulate others; the unwillingness to join and work with the party was just the first red flag.
As a result, at my table, if your character doesn’t want to join and work with the party, you need to make a new one that does. If you can’t make a character that wants to join and work with the party, you need to find a different group. You’re not going to be a good fit (and are probably a pretty awful person but hey, as long as you’re not being so at my table, fill your boots). It’s as simple as that.
i have one thing to say to all of those who ruin the game for hours upon hours, why? do they find it fun!? anyway back to the main topic i think the character should also have respect for other players decisions or choices. also the main plot, if the dm takes hours of time to come up with a good story plot and an overall game they deserve your respect and admiration for their dedication. to not even jus the plot of a story but to the players! to yourself!! anyway that was all i have to say thanks for listening to my heartfelt and probably boring seminar. and, DONT EVER BE THAT GUY (or girl)
I'll try to rephrase/explain my original post for easier understanding. 😄
Thanks for all the replies. Good stuff!
I have experienced players who hinder gameplay for all these reasons. Luckily not all who do this are uninterested or nasty people.
One other reason for this is just a lack of skill/experience in theatrical / narrative arts and roleplaying.
Sometimes players misinterpret the RP bit and forget the G. So they are super heavily invested in certain narrow personality traits. A simplified example is that they make a "greedy" character and when the first adventure setup isn't offering a big payday, they say that their character doesn't have any reason to be the hero.
This is what I feel like is the responsibility. To dig inside your character's mind and motives and just make it happen. The riches usually await eventually anyways.
So now. If greed has this far been your only stock and store, come up with something on the fly. "This villain reminds me of my old boss. I hated his guts, so I'm in."
You don't need anything elaborate. You just need to join the adventure. And once you take that step, the party will quickly be tangled in a shared experience of life-threatening situations. And click click boom you have all the emotional connection you need to form a lifelong friendship of mutual trust.
This has been my latest project to become a better player. Something I have actively tried to become good at for the past couple of years or so.
I took a major leap of faith with my last character for this reason. I had a changeling whose worst fear was being revealed. But I realized that it wouldn't be a fun setup for the party if I kept hiding such a thing.
So I dug into my character's desires and emotions and felt that in addition to this fear, he also had a need to be accepted for who he is. He was also quite impulsive. So after the first short adventure I kind of minimized the fear of being caught and enforced this need to be accepted. And also enforced the emotional link created by fighting side by side and having a shared responsibility. He knew they were going out of town, so the risk was quite small. The character decided that he wanted to take a leap he had never taken before and revealed his shape changing ability to the party. He still kept it a secret from everyone else.
So sometimes you have to push and bend a little. But it's worth it to have a functional party imo.
I've played lots of backstabbing/hidden role games too. They are fun sometimes, but IMO they are not DnD and if they are DnD for -you- then it needs to be a mutual decision of the group.
i've seen characters that had to be retired because the player couldnt see how the PC would be able to continue on in the fashion of the adventure. like after getting poisoned, diseased, cursed for the 11th time they just decided their character would want to retire. or the character had a backstory that was sensitive to imprisonment or being a hostage, and the campaign frequently put them in those situations, or exposed them to those scenarios.
i've seen characters that had to be retired because the player couldnt see how the PC would be able to continue on in the fashion of the adventure. like after getting poisoned, diseased, cursed for the 11th time they just decided their character would want to retire. or the character had a backstory that was sensitive to imprisonment or being a hostage, and the campaign frequently put them in those situations, or exposed them to those scenarios.
Do you think this was a problem?
I think it can be both. Like if the players feel like they are at a dead end in a bad way and can't figure out how to make it playable.
Or if they feel like it would be a satisfying way to retire a character.
The first example is actually cool IMO. Have a character decide that they've had enough. 😄 Never seen that before.
The second part sounds potentially a bit problematic. The player could decide that overcoming these nasty situations would instead help them overcome their BG experiences too and realize how strong they are. It's just a matter of inner narrative. But I don't know the player or the situation. Maybe the player has their own sensitive troubles, in which case I would suggest even more to focus on a deliberate healing/empowering narrative for their character.
It's okay to make a "suboptimal" decision for the sake of the story.
Too many new players to DnD treat it like a video game and will avoid story hooks or decisions if they as players see a danger to their character, and it can absolutely paralyze a campaign. Sometimes you have to make a bad decision or go along with one as a character to progress your own arc and the story as a whole.
Similarly, if a DM nudges you in a direction you can tell they're excited about and you trust them, go with it. Not all nudging is railroading, and you might miss out on something the DM put a lot of thought and work into. DMs like to have fun too!
I generally agree with the above, but I’ll add another thing. Know how your character works. Understand your abilities and spells. Other people at the table should not have to constantly explain to you how to do things. I don’t mean you don't always have to make an optimized choice, but you do need to understand what the choices are. Certainly, there’s some leeway for new players, but you should be at least trying.
I generally agree with the above, but I’ll add another thing. Know how your character works. Understand your abilities and spells. Other people at the table should not have to constantly explain to you how to do things. I don’t mean you always have to make an optimized choice, but you do need to understand what the choices are. Certainly, there’s some leeway for new players, but you should be at least trying.
Agree. And I have mixed feelings about players reminding other players when they forget something important about their class or rules in general.
I remember seeing a LFP post where this was condemned. And I totally see why. But it's also super important that players know how play. Not perfectly, but like if a player clearly forgets about a core class feature or forgets to add modifiers etc. I kinda feel like it's everybody's responsibility to kindly remind them. The DM has many players with different classes and their npcs and monsters to focus on. So veteran players reminding new players is a situation where everybody wins. Not saying anything when a friend forgets to add profi bonus isn't good imo.
But I do understand that it can be annoying too. And I have a hard time telling them cause I don't want to make them feel bad. And I think it should only be done when a clear mistake is being made and never when they seem to make a bad move. Only when they clearly misunderstood or forgot something. That way they'll learn. But if you keep telling them OOC what they should do, that's super annoying. Let them figure out the strategy on their own or have a talk about it afterwards.
A fine line between helpful and annoying.
We have two DMs in our group. Me and a close friend of mine. We don't mind the other one reminding even the DM about things. But we have a clear understanding that when the DM rules something, then you don't argue. But when a DM forgets something important or something is unclear and you have specific knowledge about the rule in question etc. then it's ok in our games to point it out to the DM. 😄
I agree there's a thin line between criticizing and offering advice at times. In that case, something that can go a long way in finding that fine line is a simple change in phrasing from "you forgot about X" to "did you forget about X?"
The former can come off as more accusatory but the latter can be a good way to remind the player or the DM about a rule or a feature without coming off as that. The last game I played had the DM describe us falling down a crumbling cliff and landing at the bottom, and honestly forgot to apply fall damage until another player asked him how much we took.
An added bonus to asking the player if they forgot about something is that if you ask them and they say they didn't forget, then you know they're aware of whatever it is you think they missed and you don't need to ask again.
Players should keep track of spell duration, continuing effects, and concentration checks after their PC casts a spell. If they can keep track of their hp they can keep tract of their spells too. That's a big help for the DM when there's several spell casters.
After their turn it's time to plan the next turn. Read up on spells, check features, etc. Don't be the person who makes everybody wait while you take forever to take your turn.
Yes, players should take care of their own PCs stuff. Not every GM can know and handle every ability and rule and spell in the game.
Regarding non-participation players, I luckily haven't had one. BUT if somebody said they didn't want to follow the party it would be OK. "You going to the pub for drinks? OK."
Continue the adventure without them.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
"Sooner or later, your Players are going to smash your railroad into a sandbox."
-Vedexent
"real life is a super high CR."
-OboeLauren
"............anybody got any potatoes? We could drop a potato in each hole an' see which ones get viciously mauled by horrible monsters?"
A PC not wanting to join the party or start the adventure at the beginning of the campaign is a player problem, not a character one, and the appropriate response is to stop the game and have a discussion with the players regarding what their expectations are and what the real issue is. It is not something that can be handled in-universe or in-character. That is, for me a rule #0, and shouldn't even be on the list, it is just a part of a cooperative game.
My personal player responsibility #1 is "Player, know thy character" I have enough on my plate as a DM to also be reminding you of all the stuff your character has or can do. (there is an exception if the player is new, but I try to pair new players with experienced players so they can help out).
First thing: If a player tells me that his character is going to the tavern to get drunk, and he doesn't want to do the mission or whatever, my solution is clear: leave the game and don't bother those of us who want to play. It's not because of the DM's authoritarianism, but because that player simply doesn't want to play and is going to be a nuisance. We all have to row in the same direction to make the game fun.
Beyond that, I always try to get my players involved in the narrative. Not only in the actions of his character, but in the story itself. That's why I ask them things, both before starting the campaign and while we play. And, above all, I return many questions. For example, if a player asks me if his character knows someone in the city, I ask him back: Tell me. Do you know someone? Who is it? What relationship do you have? Etc... In fact my regular players no longer ask me those things. For example, if a character may have been to Waterdeep before, they don't tell me they're going to an inn, but instead the character says to their companions, "Last time I was in town I stayed at the El Leaping dragon. Maggy the tavern keeper's daughter makes terrific apple casserole. And I'm looking forward to seeing old tom play the lyre, hopefully we'll get lucky and he'll play tonight."
Those kinds of things make the game much more immersive, and players make the story we're telling their own. Because we are narrating it together, which is grace.
Players bite that plot hook. Especially if the Dm is new. Or you can be the DM. Players show up on time ready to play. Know your PC class or accept that the DM may limit stuff to the PHB. DMs you don't have to DM for bad players.
I really like pretty much any act a player performs too encourage immersion and cohesion. Even just bringing a silly prop or trinket related to the campaign or their character to the table or to the discord call can swing a huge amount of energy into the session.
when another player is doing their thing, the other players can encourage them, get excited about what other players do… Display their emotions or nervousness or excitement when the DM has a great spooky description of something… How does it make you feel? It’s OK to express that at the table. If anything, it’s encouraged.
players that play very deceptive characters sometimes feel necessary to hold back their emotions as a player because they’re trying to stay in character… It might be tough, but you can tow this line with some experience. Just because you’re sneaky or deceptive it doesn’t mean your character wouldn’t have something fun to say about the situation, or even confide in their own party members because they actually trust them even though they live their life through deception.
when the DM does something interesting or another player does something interesting you can just straight up tell them, “that’s so cool.“ And that’ll make things feel way more true to the reason we are all here, to have fun and tell a great story.
I've wanted to contribute since I saw this thread, but I haven't quite found the right words. I still think I don't have them, but it's important to me to add my voice here. The OP has hit on something that's incredibly valuable to understand. The organization of D&D is sort of authoritarian because the buck stops with the GM. Slavish adherence to the system as presented leads away from the goal of collaborative storytelling. I think it's important to recognize that players do have responsibilities in play, and one of the chief ones is finding a motivation for their character to participate in the plot. Kudos Ser Loxy; it took me years of play and some serious discussions with better players in order to learn this lesson--and I still have to relearn it sometimes...
I've wanted to contribute since I saw this thread, but I haven't quite found the right words. I still think I don't have them, but it's important to me to add my voice here. The OP has hit on something that's incredibly valuable to understand. The organization of D&D is sort of authoritarian because the buck stops with the GM. Slavish adherence to the system as presented leads away from the goal of collaborative storytelling. I think it's important to recognize that players do have responsibilities in play, and one of the chief ones is finding a motivation for their character to participate in the plot. Kudos Ser Loxy; it took me years of play and some serious discussions with better players in order to learn this lesson--and I still have to relearn it sometimes...
Thank you! 😄
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Finland GMT/UTC +2
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A lot falls on the shoulders of the DM in making a fun game. This does not, however, remove all responsibility from the player.
What do you think are important player responsibilities?
I'll start:
I think it's the player's biggest responsibility to join the adventure/party. [A thousand exclamation marks and triple bolding, all caps]
This is one of the few things where the DM can feel helpless. The DM will try to create a hook that allows each player character to become invested in the adventure.
But if the player says things like "my character has no reason to join this party/adventure. He goes to the pub"
What?
It's -your- character. If you cannot, in the depths of an imaginary sentient mind, come up with a plausible motive to join this party, then you need to make a better character.
The DM's job is to make the game, but the players must actively play the game.
I say any type of character of any alignment can quite easily join any adventure/group with just a little character bending. Then with an open mind you can later figure out motives to stay and become close.
I've seen players who can find believable and interesting motives in the weirdest places and for seriously misfitting characters, and then I've seen players who actively sabotage the game for hours by refusing to find a motive to join/stay.
Finland GMT/UTC +2
I've never experianced a PC who refuses to join the adventure and there are only two reasons I can think it would happen:
I think one of the main player responsibilities is the opposite, to create a player that the rest of the party will be willing to adventure with. in my experiance it is very common for this to be breached when the PC is evil, especially CE. If a character is continuously stealing from the group, running away as soon as combat starts, attacking innocent NPCs (when the rest of the party are good / neutral aligned) etc the rest of the party would either boot them out the group or kill them.
The biggest responibility is to ensure all the other players enjoy the game. The above rule is part of this (if your character is stealing all the other characters items the other players are likely to not enjoy the game) but it also encompases things like not trying to take all the spotlight, not endlessly argueing about the rules, not cheating etc.
The other reason I've seen players refuse to join an adventure besides the ones Jegpeg listed is when a GM really does an awful job of coming up with an adventure. Either there's a Mary Sue DMPC who looks like they're going to be the real star of things while the party gets reduced to being cheerleaders or there's a plot or themes that are boring, overly complicated, or blatantly railroaded in ways that the players don't want.
Find your own truth, choose your enemies carefully, and never deal with a dragon.
"Canon" is what's factual to D&D lore. "Cannon" is what you're going to be shot with if you keep getting the word wrong.
I don’t find these types of players actually have any sort of in game roadblock. In my experience, every single player I ever encountered who made a character that did not want to join and work with the party just expected to become the centre of attention and put the whole game on hold while their ego was stroked. It generally didn’t stop at being difficult to recruit either; they also wanted to be the arbiter of the party’s direction going forward. They were not good team members and would do things like participate in planning but then go completely off script during execution. We even had one who wanted us to stop using our fireplace IRL and to end our game sessions an hour earlier than normal! Basically, they were all very selfish people, looking to control and manipulate others; the unwillingness to join and work with the party was just the first red flag.
As a result, at my table, if your character doesn’t want to join and work with the party, you need to make a new one that does. If you can’t make a character that wants to join and work with the party, you need to find a different group. You’re not going to be a good fit (and are probably a pretty awful person but hey, as long as you’re not being so at my table, fill your boots). It’s as simple as that.
i have one thing to say to all of those who ruin the game for hours upon hours, why? do they find it fun!? anyway back to the main topic i think the character should also have respect for other players decisions or choices. also the main plot, if the dm takes hours of time to come up with a good story plot and an overall game they deserve your respect and admiration for their dedication. to not even jus the plot of a story but to the players! to yourself!! anyway that was all i have to say thanks for listening to my heartfelt and probably boring seminar. and, DONT EVER BE THAT GUY (or girl)
also nada.
I'll try to rephrase/explain my original post for easier understanding. 😄
Thanks for all the replies. Good stuff!
I have experienced players who hinder gameplay for all these reasons. Luckily not all who do this are uninterested or nasty people.
One other reason for this is just a lack of skill/experience in theatrical / narrative arts and roleplaying.
Sometimes players misinterpret the RP bit and forget the G. So they are super heavily invested in certain narrow personality traits. A simplified example is that they make a "greedy" character and when the first adventure setup isn't offering a big payday, they say that their character doesn't have any reason to be the hero.
This is what I feel like is the responsibility. To dig inside your character's mind and motives and just make it happen. The riches usually await eventually anyways.
So now. If greed has this far been your only stock and store, come up with something on the fly. "This villain reminds me of my old boss. I hated his guts, so I'm in."
You don't need anything elaborate. You just need to join the adventure. And once you take that step, the party will quickly be tangled in a shared experience of life-threatening situations. And click click boom you have all the emotional connection you need to form a lifelong friendship of mutual trust.
This has been my latest project to become a better player. Something I have actively tried to become good at for the past couple of years or so.
I took a major leap of faith with my last character for this reason. I had a changeling whose worst fear was being revealed. But I realized that it wouldn't be a fun setup for the party if I kept hiding such a thing.
So I dug into my character's desires and emotions and felt that in addition to this fear, he also had a need to be accepted for who he is. He was also quite impulsive. So after the first short adventure I kind of minimized the fear of being caught and enforced this need to be accepted. And also enforced the emotional link created by fighting side by side and having a shared responsibility. He knew they were going out of town, so the risk was quite small. The character decided that he wanted to take a leap he had never taken before and revealed his shape changing ability to the party. He still kept it a secret from everyone else.
So sometimes you have to push and bend a little. But it's worth it to have a functional party imo.
I've played lots of backstabbing/hidden role games too. They are fun sometimes, but IMO they are not DnD and if they are DnD for -you- then it needs to be a mutual decision of the group.
Finland GMT/UTC +2
i've seen characters that had to be retired because the player couldnt see how the PC would be able to continue on in the fashion of the adventure. like after getting poisoned, diseased, cursed for the 11th time they just decided their character would want to retire. or the character had a backstory that was sensitive to imprisonment or being a hostage, and the campaign frequently put them in those situations, or exposed them to those scenarios.
Do you think this was a problem?
I think it can be both. Like if the players feel like they are at a dead end in a bad way and can't figure out how to make it playable.
Or if they feel like it would be a satisfying way to retire a character.
The first example is actually cool IMO. Have a character decide that they've had enough. 😄 Never seen that before.
The second part sounds potentially a bit problematic. The player could decide that overcoming these nasty situations would instead help them overcome their BG experiences too and realize how strong they are. It's just a matter of inner narrative. But I don't know the player or the situation. Maybe the player has their own sensitive troubles, in which case I would suggest even more to focus on a deliberate healing/empowering narrative for their character.
Finland GMT/UTC +2
It's okay to make a "suboptimal" decision for the sake of the story.
Too many new players to DnD treat it like a video game and will avoid story hooks or decisions if they as players see a danger to their character, and it can absolutely paralyze a campaign. Sometimes you have to make a bad decision or go along with one as a character to progress your own arc and the story as a whole.
Similarly, if a DM nudges you in a direction you can tell they're excited about and you trust them, go with it. Not all nudging is railroading, and you might miss out on something the DM put a lot of thought and work into. DMs like to have fun too!
I generally agree with the above, but I’ll add another thing.
Know how your character works. Understand your abilities and spells. Other people at the table should not have to constantly explain to you how to do things. I don’t mean you don't always have to make an optimized choice, but you do need to understand what the choices are.
Certainly, there’s some leeway for new players, but you should be at least trying.
Agree. And I have mixed feelings about players reminding other players when they forget something important about their class or rules in general.
I remember seeing a LFP post where this was condemned. And I totally see why. But it's also super important that players know how play. Not perfectly, but like if a player clearly forgets about a core class feature or forgets to add modifiers etc. I kinda feel like it's everybody's responsibility to kindly remind them. The DM has many players with different classes and their npcs and monsters to focus on. So veteran players reminding new players is a situation where everybody wins. Not saying anything when a friend forgets to add profi bonus isn't good imo.
But I do understand that it can be annoying too. And I have a hard time telling them cause I don't want to make them feel bad. And I think it should only be done when a clear mistake is being made and never when they seem to make a bad move. Only when they clearly misunderstood or forgot something. That way they'll learn. But if you keep telling them OOC what they should do, that's super annoying. Let them figure out the strategy on their own or have a talk about it afterwards.
A fine line between helpful and annoying.
We have two DMs in our group. Me and a close friend of mine. We don't mind the other one reminding even the DM about things. But we have a clear understanding that when the DM rules something, then you don't argue. But when a DM forgets something important or something is unclear and you have specific knowledge about the rule in question etc. then it's ok in our games to point it out to the DM. 😄
Finland GMT/UTC +2
I agree there's a thin line between criticizing and offering advice at times. In that case, something that can go a long way in finding that fine line is a simple change in phrasing from "you forgot about X" to "did you forget about X?"
The former can come off as more accusatory but the latter can be a good way to remind the player or the DM about a rule or a feature without coming off as that. The last game I played had the DM describe us falling down a crumbling cliff and landing at the bottom, and honestly forgot to apply fall damage until another player asked him how much we took.
An added bonus to asking the player if they forgot about something is that if you ask them and they say they didn't forget, then you know they're aware of whatever it is you think they missed and you don't need to ask again.
Players should keep track of spell duration, continuing effects, and concentration checks after their PC casts a spell. If they can keep track of their hp they can keep tract of their spells too. That's a big help for the DM when there's several spell casters.
After their turn it's time to plan the next turn. Read up on spells, check features, etc. Don't be the person who makes everybody wait while you take forever to take your turn.
Yes, players should take care of their own PCs stuff. Not every GM can know and handle every ability and rule and spell in the game.
Regarding non-participation players, I luckily haven't had one. BUT if somebody said they didn't want to follow the party it would be OK. "You going to the pub for drinks? OK."
Continue the adventure without them.
"Sooner or later, your Players are going to smash your railroad into a sandbox."
-Vedexent
"real life is a super high CR."
-OboeLauren
"............anybody got any potatoes? We could drop a potato in each hole an' see which ones get viciously mauled by horrible monsters?"
-Ilyara Thundertale
A PC not wanting to join the party or start the adventure at the beginning of the campaign is a player problem, not a character one, and the appropriate response is to stop the game and have a discussion with the players regarding what their expectations are and what the real issue is. It is not something that can be handled in-universe or in-character. That is, for me a rule #0, and shouldn't even be on the list, it is just a part of a cooperative game.
My personal player responsibility #1 is "Player, know thy character" I have enough on my plate as a DM to also be reminding you of all the stuff your character has or can do. (there is an exception if the player is new, but I try to pair new players with experienced players so they can help out).
First thing: If a player tells me that his character is going to the tavern to get drunk, and he doesn't want to do the mission or whatever, my solution is clear: leave the game and don't bother those of us who want to play. It's not because of the DM's authoritarianism, but because that player simply doesn't want to play and is going to be a nuisance. We all have to row in the same direction to make the game fun.
Beyond that, I always try to get my players involved in the narrative. Not only in the actions of his character, but in the story itself. That's why I ask them things, both before starting the campaign and while we play. And, above all, I return many questions. For example, if a player asks me if his character knows someone in the city, I ask him back: Tell me. Do you know someone? Who is it? What relationship do you have? Etc... In fact my regular players no longer ask me those things. For example, if a character may have been to Waterdeep before, they don't tell me they're going to an inn, but instead the character says to their companions, "Last time I was in town I stayed at the El Leaping dragon. Maggy the tavern keeper's daughter makes terrific apple casserole. And I'm looking forward to seeing old tom play the lyre, hopefully we'll get lucky and he'll play tonight."
Those kinds of things make the game much more immersive, and players make the story we're telling their own. Because we are narrating it together, which is grace.
Players bite that plot hook. Especially if the Dm is new. Or you can be the DM. Players show up on time ready to play. Know your PC class or accept that the DM may limit stuff to the PHB. DMs you don't have to DM for bad players.
No Gaming is Better than Bad Gaming.
I really like pretty much any act a player performs too encourage immersion and cohesion. Even just bringing a silly prop or trinket related to the campaign or their character to the table or to the discord call can swing a huge amount of energy into the session.
when another player is doing their thing, the other players can encourage them, get excited about what other players do… Display their emotions or nervousness or excitement when the DM has a great spooky description of something… How does it make you feel? It’s OK to express that at the table. If anything, it’s encouraged.
players that play very deceptive characters sometimes feel necessary to hold back their emotions as a player because they’re trying to stay in character… It might be tough, but you can tow this line with some experience. Just because you’re sneaky or deceptive it doesn’t mean your character wouldn’t have something fun to say about the situation, or even confide in their own party members because they actually trust them even though they live their life through deception.
when the DM does something interesting or another player does something interesting you can just straight up tell them, “that’s so cool.“ And that’ll make things feel way more true to the reason we are all here, to have fun and tell a great story.
I've wanted to contribute since I saw this thread, but I haven't quite found the right words. I still think I don't have them, but it's important to me to add my voice here. The OP has hit on something that's incredibly valuable to understand. The organization of D&D is sort of authoritarian because the buck stops with the GM. Slavish adherence to the system as presented leads away from the goal of collaborative storytelling. I think it's important to recognize that players do have responsibilities in play, and one of the chief ones is finding a motivation for their character to participate in the plot. Kudos Ser Loxy; it took me years of play and some serious discussions with better players in order to learn this lesson--and I still have to relearn it sometimes...
Thank you! 😄
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