Do they suck as bad as it seems when I read them? Power word kill couldn’t even kill a full health 8th lvl barbarian. Meteor swarm giant balls of firey rocks are falling from the sky, oh let me dodge and take half, how do you dodge that. And don’t get me started on wish. This spell is a dick hole DMs wet dream, oh you didn’t say it just right? boom your mothers head explodes before you are even born, also take damage and you can’t cast it again. Dank. Reading over the other ones they all seem just as lame or very specific to a task that I guess since you really can’t play this game past 20th lvl you won’t really care since you wouldn’t need to cast them.
A level 8 barbarian only survives power word kill if they already have 20 CON and only by 1 HP. It will kill almost any CR 5 or lower creature outright, any CR 12 or lower creature at half health, and any CR 20 monster at 1/3 health, no save. Skipping a 3rd or more of a fight is not a small thing.
Wish is the best spell, and the option to wish for anything is it's worst effect. But on that note, most DMs aren't complete ********, and the wording does not have to be specific for casting the spell (you are thinking of creatures who grant wishes like genies). The best effect of wish is to be able to cast any level 8 or lower spell as an action with no components. That is huge. Clone, mighty fortress, plane shift, regenerate, resurrection, simulacrum, contingency just to name a few, and all instantly with literally no more than a word.
To get PWK to be a guaranteed kill requires meta knowledge or good guessing. If you cast PWK on that 20 CR monster and it has 101 HP, guess what? you just wasted your 9th level slot for the day. That is its problem; not that it doesn't work as intended.
On top of that, it has the same effect on creatures with 99 and 1 hp. You're likely getting an average of ~50 points of damage out of it when it is effective, not the 100 on the label. Meteor Swarm is probably more effective on anything that isn't fire/magical bludgeoning immune. Even if a creature resisted both, you'd do on average 70 damage. And that damage would stick if you didn't happen to kill the creature.
There are some bad 9th level spells and some overly situational 9th level spells. I for the life of me can't imagine preparing storm of vengeance often on my druid - especially given foresight. On that topic, I feel like if foresight can be non-concentration, then probably all of the combat applicable spells (except maybe invulnerability and spells that become permanent when concentrated on for the duration) should be non-concentration - especially for how paltry weird and SoV feel.
Some spells make little or no sense for a PC to ever learn/prepare/cast.
As a DM, having an NPC cast those spells may help create a very interesting encounter.
Would it make sense to have NPC only spells in the DMG? I think many players would be a little annoyed that there were spells they couldn’t access even if they never wanted to use them.
Some spells make little or no sense for a PC to ever learn/prepare/cast.
As a DM, having an NPC cast those spells may help create a very interesting encounter.
Would it make sense to have NPC only spells in the DMG? I think many players would be a little annoyed that there were spells they couldn’t access even if they never wanted to use them.
That's true. And it does serve as a way to make high level spellcaster enemies with lots if spells, but keep them within a lower power range (and there are more than a few NPC spells at multiple levels).
I think they kept power word kill in for nostalgic reasons. Wish is obviously amazing, especially when your Wizard throws out a massive head spell or a res, really makes DMs twitch. True poly has amazing possibilities, like making a few blink dogs as companions for your Wizard or to make a nice gold dragon bodyguard out of your simulacrum. Meteor swarm is the highest damage spell in game if you have a lot of creatures to clear out, unless they are rogues then it sucks. Invulnerability has saved me a few times and made a few fights trivial.
So I’d say they don’t suck for the most part, no more than any other level. You’ll always have a few in each level that you’ll never, ever prepare.
All 9th level spells are reasonably good (except for Imprisonment) but some are better than others. Wish is better than PWK for pure versatility, but having PWK allows you to make Polymorph a save or die spell (polymorph the enemy into something with less than 100 hp, PWK them, they die). Meteor swarm can wipe out huge swathes of enemies in one go, but since D&D combat (especially at level 20) is usually about fighting a few big enemies, it probably won't end up being that useful though the potential is there.
I like a lot of the 9th level spells. Some of them are more situational or require more of an RP flavour rather than being "combat" based. Some serve NPCs better but most, if not all, have uses.
At 1,100 GP a pop per character this does not seem like a spell you'd favour over Plane Shift or Gate, so a lot of people think it's crap and skip it. Personally, I love the flavour of it. If you're just travelling randomly for the shits and giggles (and at this level why wouldn't you?) then this is a great spell. Gate and Plane Shift may require knowledge of where you're going and can also be shut down or denied by planar beings. The naturally occurring rifts in the Astral Sea cannot be shut down and passage through them goes undetected. It can be a great way to infiltrate a plane, and it's fun. The low risk of encounters, the freedom to fly around, and even the encounters with Githyanki or even the Astral Dreadnaught can be exciting. You're at the level where resurrection isn't difficult so even the threat of the silver cord being cut (a very low chance of happening, especially since the psychic storms no longer can do it) is more of a significant inconvenience rather than an "oh no my character is gone forever" type of deal. It's a lot more interesting way to travel than bamfing directly to the destination. It's an adventure in a spell.
There's also other fun things: like it being absolutely perfect for PVP, tournaments, training etc. Why? Because you can fight to the death and instead of dying you just go back to your body safe and sound. What a better place for a battle royale? And oh you don't age, so if the party wizard needs to spend a long time studying stuff then what better place? It could even be a whole plot: the characters get taken in the Astral Plane and stuck there for centuries. They finally get back and find so much has changed in the world presented all new adventures, new NPCs, restructured Kingdoms and more.
Using this spell for the specific purpose of just travelling seems rather sub-par. The lower level Plane Shift will serve just fine for getting the party to the place they need to go. The benefit of Gate is more about the precision of placement and the duration : it allows you to go back and forth while it's open and is great to move large things - perhaps you're moving home to a new plane, I mean why not? This spell is great if you have a lot of luggage, and the portal is big enough to get vehicles through.
The biggest draw of Gate is abusing it. You can orient the portal however you want, put it wherever you want with precision and can even summon a creature through it - they don't get a save to resist it.. So, that annoying high-health pesky NPC? Why not go to the plane of fire, find some lava, and position the portal above it as you summon the NPC so they fall right into the lava. Or, if you know where a river of lava is, in your combat encounter, Gate above the big bad's head into that lava lake - they get smothered in it. Or just summon the NPC into a cage, or an area full of traps you've set. If you can think creatively, this spell has a lot of uses in and out of combat.
This spell is very niche, very specific and its biggest downside is the cost. It's 500 gp per hit die per use. Some of the big enemies from ancient dragons to the Tarrasque have around 30 hit dice, give or take, which is about 15,000 gp. It's a bit pricey especially since the question is: why would you want to imprison something instead of just killing it? It also takes a minute to cast - look luck staying in range for a full minute of casting without getting hit and losing concentration. However, if you are faced with an enemy that cannot die (it's immortal, or always comes back, or its death triggers something bad) then this spell provides a solution. The spell is best used as such a solution: the mcguffin of an adventure. If the party has a wizard then throw in an enemy that cannot or must not die, drop the hints of this spell and see a whole story arc of getting the scroll, finding the gold for copying it, getting the material components and devising a way to cast this. There's also the fact this spell could have been used by an evil NPC to seal away a good NPC or even a godlike being. The adventurers have to find a way to free them.
From the perspective of a player this spell sucks balls and not in the good way. From the perspective of a DM this is a great spell with a lot of story use. In terms of "good or bad" 9th level spells, this is neutral - it's not bad, because it can drive whole adventurers and plots but it's not good because no player would ever want to take this for normal adventuring.
This is a great spell for combat. Immune to all damage for 10 minutes, only costs 500 gp a go? Tidy. Even out of combat it has uses like just walking through traps, swimming through lava or acid, or grabbing a crapton of boomsticks and becoming a walking bomb.
Heal 700 hp, cure all diseases, remove blinded and deafened. Target a couple of party members and you basically have enough to bring them to full health. A true save-the-party spell.
Turn the party into giant eagles to fly through the air, or the group of enemies into harmless bunnies. Or both. The eagles can fly the bunnies up on high and then drop. Nice and easy 20d6 (-1) damage. This has many uses. Being able to become a party of CR 10 beasts should never be underestimated, and neutralising a group of enemies into something harmless for an hour is useful. Used right this spell is amazing in and out of combat.
You can destroy a village with this spell. Seriously, 40d6 damage spread over a HUGE area. Get rid of a building infested with plague, destroy an army, cause great destruction. If you're all about the damage output, this spell is a must-have.
This is a decent spell for saving your main damage dealer: gets them back to full, removes multiple conditions, and even lets them get back onto their feet. I don't see this as useful as Mass Heal since that offers enough to heal multiple party members to half or full health. But where Mass Heal is for the Cleric, PWH is for a Bard (UA Class Variant Features notwithstanding). It's still a useful spell for the healer to take and a literal life-saver.
A useful spell. It's not as good as some others but anyone saying this is a bad spell are barmy. Your characters can see when a creature looks wounded, and you can track how much damage you are dealing so you can have a really good idea of when to use it without metagaming. But, who says it must be used in direct combat? Not every NPC you're going to want to take out is going to have massive HP. The King or Queen probably has similar stats to a noble or commoner because they're not there to be big bad fighter-enemies. So if you need to kill an NPC, it's easy with this spell. It's a single V component, no cost with a range of 60 ft and there is nothing saying the target has to hear you. So, at the range, preferably in a loud area, cast the spell: the target, and probably nobody else, will hear you and the target still dies. Nobody saw you make gestures or anything so nobody would suspect you.
Of course, you can combo this spell, too. A nice Disintegrate one turn and PWK the next will get rid of a large variety of enemies.
Sure it can be a bit of a gamble but there's no save, it doesn't deal damage, it bypasses "if dropped to 0 HP" effects. Polymorph's "reversion" only works against damage - if something just "kills you" then you die, your body will revert, but you're still dead. So just polymorph the enemy to a bunny and PWK. Facing an Archdruid? Darn, oh, but you can just give a good whack and PWK - can't wild shape when dead and they'll die no matter what shape they're in. That's the problem with shapeshifting and changing your HP. If your current hit points are 100 or less, bam, you dead.
PWK is not an instant-win button, it requires thought and set-up to make use of its very strong ability. It's a gloriously helpful spell in combat, if you have the forethought and creativity to set it up.
This is an incredibly useful spell. It's a great spell to help protect you - it's 10 minutes, no concentration. Any creature trying to get to you is going to be in for a world of hurt and could even end up on a different plane of existence. It's a great spell for weakening advancing enemies while you prepare, or keeping enemies at bay while you try to escape. This spell can work brilliantly with spells that force movement or slow enemies down like Sleet Storm. Readying a Gust of Wind is nasty as you force the enemy back through all the layers they just got through. This spell is great for providing both offense and defense, and is even better by being non-concentration letting you combo it with all sorts of other spells. This spell is awesome.
At first glance this spell seems underwhelming. It's the same amount of damage as a 9th level Fireball. So for those purely focusing on damage output, this will seem like a poor choice. But then, people who only focus on damage output do miss a lot, anyway, bless 'em. This spell targets Intelligence, the least-saved-against type, does not require concentration, has a duration of Instantaneous and can stun an enemy for as long as it keeps failing the saving throw. On its own, not much, but wonderful when you combo it. There are a variety of spells you can combo this with to make it a lot more effective like Bestow Curse, Bane, Contagion and more. These can be used to reduce their saving against it. This makes a stunlock easier and while stunlocked they cannot do anything and are just easy targets.
There's also the fact it's just an S component. You could be hiding stealthily, using this would not break stealth or reveal you, so this could be great to hide, then stun, then everyone rushes in while you stay hidden from other minions. There's also the fact if a target dies from the spell it's head explodes. If you're playing an Evil character then a sneaky S component in a crowd to make some random commoner's head explode is totes worth the 9th level slot.
As good as most other 9th levels? Maybe not. Is it a bad 9th level spell? Not on your nelly.
Basically a Druid's wild-shape but you can be any type of creature except undead or a construct. You also keep your class features and this means if you are able to provide the components in the form, you can still spellcast. Changing into a dragon in battle, keeping all your mental stats and other class features, is amazing. There's also the fact you can keep changing form - from dragon, to a mouse, to a tiger, to shark, to whatever you want. The downside of multi-forming is that you lose the HP benefits - the first form replaces your hit points, but after that the new form cannot grant hp more than the current form's hp. So if you turn into a mouse then into a dragon, you're a dragon with 1 hp. This is rather wonky - but stops it being broken. Even so, just the whole keeping your mental stats and class features while shapeshifting into all sorts of forms is amazing in and out of combat. Go dragon, unleash the dragon's breath, turn into a mouse and scurry away through the nooks and crannies. Then find some room, turn into a blink dog, teleport around to reposition, and then back into a dragon for another breath attack. How is this not fun?
For those of you poor fools who think purely in terms of combat DPS, this spell may seem "meh". But, for those with RP and imagination this spell is cool. It has a range of "sight". You could go up some hill, choose the town or the army you can see, and summon that storm above them. The chaos you cause is more than worth the 9th level slot. As usual, the spell isn't all about the players: spells can be DM tools as well and this is certainly one. Why wouldn't an angry Druid want to teach a town a lesson with this spell? And how would the adventuring party know who is casting it? Being able to cast it from miles away makes it hard for people to discover the caster. So a town being assaulted by this for a minute of every day - bearing in mind the average commoner is only a few hit points - that's a plot hook right there.
Now, much as I like the spell, I am going to put this into the bad category only because it is very limited in "why you would use it" both as a player and as a DM tool.
This spell is brilliant. It gives you time to buff up, get in position and get ready. My Bladesinger uses this for the big battles: Time Stops, then uses the extra turns to buff up which may involve Crown of Stars, Fire Shield activating Bladesong, chugging a healing potion if needed, and Tenser's Transformation. It'll be even better when he gets Delayed Blast Fireball. Speaking of DBF a combo of Time Stop, DBF, and Scatter can be a brilliant and efficient way to start your combat.
Many of the benefits of this amazing spell have been listed already. Turning an avil into a small bird, having it accompany you, then have it fly above the enemy's head and either Dispel it or recast to turn the bird back into an anvil. Or become a dragon and live like one. Turn allies into small items, then yourself into some innocuous form. Go infiltrate somewhere, dispel it all and now you're inside. Or turn the evil NPC into a bunny forever.
Pricey, but being able to resurrect your ally no matter what happened to them is incredible. And you have 200 years to find enough diamonds, which is plenty at this level.
Affects a large group of enemies. All those affects cannot go near you and have disadvantage on attacks against you. They take 4d10 damage every round until they shake the effect off. Combine with features and other spells that make it harder for them to resist and you have an amazing crowd control spell. On its own it's a bit lacking, sure, but with the right combo of spells this can be devastating. That 30-ft radius is a large area that can get a lot of enemies, especially if you use Scatter to bunch them up as your allies keep them bunched up for the round after that. Let's say it is shrugged off after 3 rounds. That's 12d10 damage to several enemies. If you use spells to make it harder to resist, it stays longer and that's even more damage. Also goes well with Crown of Stars so every round you're stacking the damage to the main target, while the minions still get damaged, and they can't go near you and you still have your action for other spells.
Many who naysay this spell must think in terms of "I cast this spell, I win" and that's such a boring view. Some spells, like this one, are designed with the idea you will combine it with other things, that you will think about tactics, strategy and be creative. With a little thought this spell can turn a difficult fight into a breeze, and eradicate whole swaths of lesser enemies. How is that bad?! Sorry, this is definitely going into the Good pile. Just like any other spell that turns boss-fights into cakewalks.
If you think this is a bad spell you clearly have not read it correctly. There are no consequences for the Basic Use and these uses work as intended - no DM twisting or anything, it works as is. Basically you get to cast any 8th level or lower spell as if it was 8th level with the casting time becoming 1 action and the components becoming V. Free resurrections, infinite clones, free Leomund's Secret Chest, free Instant Summons, an instant Simulacrum (replete with all your spells and 1st to 8th level spell slots - huzzah for doubling your spellcasting and concentration in an instant), free castles, free towers, and you get the idea. Make a demiplane with tons of buffs, or make one that is full of traps able to kill anything.
And if you do want to risk the consequences of a non-Basic use then you can do even more: rewrite reality as you see fit. Want this without the risks? Make a Simulacrum the normal way and have it cast the Wish for you.
It's the most versatile and useful spell in the game.
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By my count that is 17 good spells, 1 neutral and 1 bad.
So, OP, Lordneg, "Do they suck as bad as it seems when I read them? " - Not even slightly. You're reading them wrong, missing their point and are failing to understand how to use them properly.
Personal preference may always be in play, so you're free to dislike any spell, of course. However, terms of "good or bad" should be based on something more than preference, and without personal preference most of these 9th level spells are ****balls awesomesauce if you know how to use them properly.
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I agree with Cybermind. When unsure about 9th level spells just look at Foresight, Time Stop and True Polymorph. Don't even need Wish to find some gold.
Your explanation for weird in particular threw me off, Cybermind. It is just an area phantasmal killer which probably makes it an ok 6th level spell. Certainly if you combo it well it can become good... like lots of other 6th level spells. In a vacuum the spell seems OK, but when you compare it to other spells (especially things like fear or even insect plague) then it no longer looks so shiny.
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Do they suck as bad as it seems when I read them? Power word kill couldn’t even kill a full health 8th lvl barbarian. Meteor swarm giant balls of firey rocks are falling from the sky, oh let me dodge and take half, how do you dodge that. And don’t get me started on wish. This spell is a dick hole DMs wet dream, oh you didn’t say it just right? boom your mothers head explodes before you are even born, also take damage and you can’t cast it again. Dank. Reading over the other ones they all seem just as lame or very specific to a task that I guess since you really can’t play this game past 20th lvl you won’t really care since you wouldn’t need to cast them.
Wish let’s you cat any spell of 8th level or lower from any class’s spell list. That’s huge!
Foresight gives one person advantage and gives their opponents disadvantage on every single roll for 8 full hours without Concentration!
They’re not all great, but there are some great spells in there.
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A level 8 barbarian only survives power word kill if they already have 20 CON and only by 1 HP. It will kill almost any CR 5 or lower creature outright, any CR 12 or lower creature at half health, and any CR 20 monster at 1/3 health, no save. Skipping a 3rd or more of a fight is not a small thing.
Wish is the best spell, and the option to wish for anything is it's worst effect. But on that note, most DMs aren't complete ********, and the wording does not have to be specific for casting the spell (you are thinking of creatures who grant wishes like genies). The best effect of wish is to be able to cast any level 8 or lower spell as an action with no components. That is huge. Clone, mighty fortress, plane shift, regenerate, resurrection, simulacrum, contingency just to name a few, and all instantly with literally no more than a word.
To get PWK to be a guaranteed kill requires meta knowledge or good guessing. If you cast PWK on that 20 CR monster and it has 101 HP, guess what? you just wasted your 9th level slot for the day. That is its problem; not that it doesn't work as intended.
On top of that, it has the same effect on creatures with 99 and 1 hp. You're likely getting an average of ~50 points of damage out of it when it is effective, not the 100 on the label. Meteor Swarm is probably more effective on anything that isn't fire/magical bludgeoning immune. Even if a creature resisted both, you'd do on average 70 damage. And that damage would stick if you didn't happen to kill the creature.
There are some bad 9th level spells and some overly situational 9th level spells. I for the life of me can't imagine preparing storm of vengeance often on my druid - especially given foresight. On that topic, I feel like if foresight can be non-concentration, then probably all of the combat applicable spells (except maybe invulnerability and spells that become permanent when concentrated on for the duration) should be non-concentration - especially for how paltry weird and SoV feel.
I guess I'm saying that my problem with 9th level spells isn't that there aren't good ones, it is that there is such a large disparity between them.
I have to agree
Same.
Some spells make little or no sense for a PC to ever learn/prepare/cast.
As a DM, having an NPC cast those spells may help create a very interesting encounter.
Would it make sense to have NPC only spells in the DMG? I think many players would be a little annoyed that there were spells they couldn’t access even if they never wanted to use them.
That's true. And it does serve as a way to make high level spellcaster enemies with lots if spells, but keep them within a lower power range (and there are more than a few NPC spells at multiple levels).
I think they kept power word kill in for nostalgic reasons. Wish is obviously amazing, especially when your Wizard throws out a massive head spell or a res, really makes DMs twitch. True poly has amazing possibilities, like making a few blink dogs as companions for your Wizard or to make a nice gold dragon bodyguard out of your simulacrum. Meteor swarm is the highest damage spell in game if you have a lot of creatures to clear out, unless they are rogues then it sucks. Invulnerability has saved me a few times and made a few fights trivial.
So I’d say they don’t suck for the most part, no more than any other level. You’ll always have a few in each level that you’ll never, ever prepare.
All 9th level spells are reasonably good (except for Imprisonment) but some are better than others. Wish is better than PWK for pure versatility, but having PWK allows you to make Polymorph a save or die spell (polymorph the enemy into something with less than 100 hp, PWK them, they die). Meteor swarm can wipe out huge swathes of enemies in one go, but since D&D combat (especially at level 20) is usually about fighting a few big enemies, it probably won't end up being that useful though the potential is there.
Can you use true polymorph on your familiar?
Sure, into anything of equal or less CR.
I like a lot of the 9th level spells. Some of them are more situational or require more of an RP flavour rather than being "combat" based. Some serve NPCs better but most, if not all, have uses.
So let's go through them.
Astral Projection
At 1,100 GP a pop per character this does not seem like a spell you'd favour over Plane Shift or Gate, so a lot of people think it's crap and skip it. Personally, I love the flavour of it. If you're just travelling randomly for the shits and giggles (and at this level why wouldn't you?) then this is a great spell. Gate and Plane Shift may require knowledge of where you're going and can also be shut down or denied by planar beings. The naturally occurring rifts in the Astral Sea cannot be shut down and passage through them goes undetected. It can be a great way to infiltrate a plane, and it's fun. The low risk of encounters, the freedom to fly around, and even the encounters with Githyanki or even the Astral Dreadnaught can be exciting. You're at the level where resurrection isn't difficult so even the threat of the silver cord being cut (a very low chance of happening, especially since the psychic storms no longer can do it) is more of a significant inconvenience rather than an "oh no my character is gone forever" type of deal. It's a lot more interesting way to travel than bamfing directly to the destination. It's an adventure in a spell.
There's also other fun things: like it being absolutely perfect for PVP, tournaments, training etc. Why? Because you can fight to the death and instead of dying you just go back to your body safe and sound. What a better place for a battle royale? And oh you don't age, so if the party wizard needs to spend a long time studying stuff then what better place? It could even be a whole plot: the characters get taken in the Astral Plane and stuck there for centuries. They finally get back and find so much has changed in the world presented all new adventures, new NPCs, restructured Kingdoms and more.
From an RP standpoint this spell is fantastic.
Foresight
A great spell for adventuring. Advantage on everything, while everything dangerous has disadvantage against you. Useful. A bit bland, but useful.
Gate
Using this spell for the specific purpose of just travelling seems rather sub-par. The lower level Plane Shift will serve just fine for getting the party to the place they need to go. The benefit of Gate is more about the precision of placement and the duration : it allows you to go back and forth while it's open and is great to move large things - perhaps you're moving home to a new plane, I mean why not? This spell is great if you have a lot of luggage, and the portal is big enough to get vehicles through.
The biggest draw of Gate is abusing it. You can orient the portal however you want, put it wherever you want with precision and can even summon a creature through it - they don't get a save to resist it.. So, that annoying high-health pesky NPC? Why not go to the plane of fire, find some lava, and position the portal above it as you summon the NPC so they fall right into the lava. Or, if you know where a river of lava is, in your combat encounter, Gate above the big bad's head into that lava lake - they get smothered in it. Or just summon the NPC into a cage, or an area full of traps you've set. If you can think creatively, this spell has a lot of uses in and out of combat.
Imprisonment
This spell is very niche, very specific and its biggest downside is the cost. It's 500 gp per hit die per use. Some of the big enemies from ancient dragons to the Tarrasque have around 30 hit dice, give or take, which is about 15,000 gp. It's a bit pricey especially since the question is: why would you want to imprison something instead of just killing it? It also takes a minute to cast - look luck staying in range for a full minute of casting without getting hit and losing concentration. However, if you are faced with an enemy that cannot die (it's immortal, or always comes back, or its death triggers something bad) then this spell provides a solution. The spell is best used as such a solution: the mcguffin of an adventure. If the party has a wizard then throw in an enemy that cannot or must not die, drop the hints of this spell and see a whole story arc of getting the scroll, finding the gold for copying it, getting the material components and devising a way to cast this. There's also the fact this spell could have been used by an evil NPC to seal away a good NPC or even a godlike being. The adventurers have to find a way to free them.
From the perspective of a player this spell sucks balls and not in the good way. From the perspective of a DM this is a great spell with a lot of story use. In terms of "good or bad" 9th level spells, this is neutral - it's not bad, because it can drive whole adventurers and plots but it's not good because no player would ever want to take this for normal adventuring.
Invulnerability
This is a great spell for combat. Immune to all damage for 10 minutes, only costs 500 gp a go? Tidy. Even out of combat it has uses like just walking through traps, swimming through lava or acid, or grabbing a crapton of boomsticks and becoming a walking bomb.
Mass Heal
Heal 700 hp, cure all diseases, remove blinded and deafened. Target a couple of party members and you basically have enough to bring them to full health. A true save-the-party spell.
Mass Polymorph
Turn the party into giant eagles to fly through the air, or the group of enemies into harmless bunnies. Or both. The eagles can fly the bunnies up on high and then drop. Nice and easy 20d6 (-1) damage. This has many uses. Being able to become a party of CR 10 beasts should never be underestimated, and neutralising a group of enemies into something harmless for an hour is useful. Used right this spell is amazing in and out of combat.
Meteor Swarm
You can destroy a village with this spell. Seriously, 40d6 damage spread over a HUGE area. Get rid of a building infested with plague, destroy an army, cause great destruction. If you're all about the damage output, this spell is a must-have.
Power Word Heal
This is a decent spell for saving your main damage dealer: gets them back to full, removes multiple conditions, and even lets them get back onto their feet. I don't see this as useful as Mass Heal since that offers enough to heal multiple party members to half or full health. But where Mass Heal is for the Cleric, PWH is for a Bard (UA Class Variant Features notwithstanding). It's still a useful spell for the healer to take and a literal life-saver.
Power Word Kill
A useful spell. It's not as good as some others but anyone saying this is a bad spell are barmy. Your characters can see when a creature looks wounded, and you can track how much damage you are dealing so you can have a really good idea of when to use it without metagaming. But, who says it must be used in direct combat? Not every NPC you're going to want to take out is going to have massive HP. The King or Queen probably has similar stats to a noble or commoner because they're not there to be big bad fighter-enemies. So if you need to kill an NPC, it's easy with this spell. It's a single V component, no cost with a range of 60 ft and there is nothing saying the target has to hear you. So, at the range, preferably in a loud area, cast the spell: the target, and probably nobody else, will hear you and the target still dies. Nobody saw you make gestures or anything so nobody would suspect you.
Of course, you can combo this spell, too. A nice Disintegrate one turn and PWK the next will get rid of a large variety of enemies.
Sure it can be a bit of a gamble but there's no save, it doesn't deal damage, it bypasses "if dropped to 0 HP" effects. Polymorph's "reversion" only works against damage - if something just "kills you" then you die, your body will revert, but you're still dead. So just polymorph the enemy to a bunny and PWK. Facing an Archdruid? Darn, oh, but you can just give a good whack and PWK - can't wild shape when dead and they'll die no matter what shape they're in. That's the problem with shapeshifting and changing your HP. If your current hit points are 100 or less, bam, you dead.
PWK is not an instant-win button, it requires thought and set-up to make use of its very strong ability. It's a gloriously helpful spell in combat, if you have the forethought and creativity to set it up.
Prismatic Wall
This is an incredibly useful spell. It's a great spell to help protect you - it's 10 minutes, no concentration. Any creature trying to get to you is going to be in for a world of hurt and could even end up on a different plane of existence. It's a great spell for weakening advancing enemies while you prepare, or keeping enemies at bay while you try to escape. This spell can work brilliantly with spells that force movement or slow enemies down like Sleet Storm. Readying a Gust of Wind is nasty as you force the enemy back through all the layers they just got through. This spell is great for providing both offense and defense, and is even better by being non-concentration letting you combo it with all sorts of other spells. This spell is awesome.
Psychic Scream
At first glance this spell seems underwhelming. It's the same amount of damage as a 9th level Fireball. So for those purely focusing on damage output, this will seem like a poor choice. But then, people who only focus on damage output do miss a lot, anyway, bless 'em. This spell targets Intelligence, the least-saved-against type, does not require concentration, has a duration of Instantaneous and can stun an enemy for as long as it keeps failing the saving throw. On its own, not much, but wonderful when you combo it. There are a variety of spells you can combo this with to make it a lot more effective like Bestow Curse, Bane, Contagion and more. These can be used to reduce their saving against it. This makes a stunlock easier and while stunlocked they cannot do anything and are just easy targets.
There's also the fact it's just an S component. You could be hiding stealthily, using this would not break stealth or reveal you, so this could be great to hide, then stun, then everyone rushes in while you stay hidden from other minions. There's also the fact if a target dies from the spell it's head explodes. If you're playing an Evil character then a sneaky S component in a crowd to make some random commoner's head explode is totes worth the 9th level slot.
As good as most other 9th levels? Maybe not. Is it a bad 9th level spell? Not on your nelly.
Shapechange
Basically a Druid's wild-shape but you can be any type of creature except undead or a construct. You also keep your class features and this means if you are able to provide the components in the form, you can still spellcast. Changing into a dragon in battle, keeping all your mental stats and other class features, is amazing. There's also the fact you can keep changing form - from dragon, to a mouse, to a tiger, to shark, to whatever you want. The downside of multi-forming is that you lose the HP benefits - the first form replaces your hit points, but after that the new form cannot grant hp more than the current form's hp. So if you turn into a mouse then into a dragon, you're a dragon with 1 hp. This is rather wonky - but stops it being broken. Even so, just the whole keeping your mental stats and class features while shapeshifting into all sorts of forms is amazing in and out of combat. Go dragon, unleash the dragon's breath, turn into a mouse and scurry away through the nooks and crannies. Then find some room, turn into a blink dog, teleport around to reposition, and then back into a dragon for another breath attack. How is this not fun?
Storm of Vengeance
For those of you poor fools who think purely in terms of combat DPS, this spell may seem "meh". But, for those with RP and imagination this spell is cool. It has a range of "sight". You could go up some hill, choose the town or the army you can see, and summon that storm above them. The chaos you cause is more than worth the 9th level slot. As usual, the spell isn't all about the players: spells can be DM tools as well and this is certainly one. Why wouldn't an angry Druid want to teach a town a lesson with this spell? And how would the adventuring party know who is casting it? Being able to cast it from miles away makes it hard for people to discover the caster. So a town being assaulted by this for a minute of every day - bearing in mind the average commoner is only a few hit points - that's a plot hook right there.
Now, much as I like the spell, I am going to put this into the bad category only because it is very limited in "why you would use it" both as a player and as a DM tool.
Time Stop
This spell is brilliant. It gives you time to buff up, get in position and get ready. My Bladesinger uses this for the big battles: Time Stops, then uses the extra turns to buff up which may involve Crown of Stars, Fire Shield activating Bladesong, chugging a healing potion if needed, and Tenser's Transformation. It'll be even better when he gets Delayed Blast Fireball. Speaking of DBF a combo of Time Stop, DBF, and Scatter can be a brilliant and efficient way to start your combat.
True Polymorph
Many of the benefits of this amazing spell have been listed already. Turning an avil into a small bird, having it accompany you, then have it fly above the enemy's head and either Dispel it or recast to turn the bird back into an anvil. Or become a dragon and live like one. Turn allies into small items, then yourself into some innocuous form. Go infiltrate somewhere, dispel it all and now you're inside. Or turn the evil NPC into a bunny forever.
True Resurrection
Pricey, but being able to resurrect your ally no matter what happened to them is incredible. And you have 200 years to find enough diamonds, which is plenty at this level.
Weird
Affects a large group of enemies. All those affects cannot go near you and have disadvantage on attacks against you. They take 4d10 damage every round until they shake the effect off. Combine with features and other spells that make it harder for them to resist and you have an amazing crowd control spell. On its own it's a bit lacking, sure, but with the right combo of spells this can be devastating. That 30-ft radius is a large area that can get a lot of enemies, especially if you use Scatter to bunch them up as your allies keep them bunched up for the round after that. Let's say it is shrugged off after 3 rounds. That's 12d10 damage to several enemies. If you use spells to make it harder to resist, it stays longer and that's even more damage. Also goes well with Crown of Stars so every round you're stacking the damage to the main target, while the minions still get damaged, and they can't go near you and you still have your action for other spells.
Many who naysay this spell must think in terms of "I cast this spell, I win" and that's such a boring view. Some spells, like this one, are designed with the idea you will combine it with other things, that you will think about tactics, strategy and be creative. With a little thought this spell can turn a difficult fight into a breeze, and eradicate whole swaths of lesser enemies. How is that bad?! Sorry, this is definitely going into the Good pile. Just like any other spell that turns boss-fights into cakewalks.
Wish
If you think this is a bad spell you clearly have not read it correctly. There are no consequences for the Basic Use and these uses work as intended - no DM twisting or anything, it works as is. Basically you get to cast any 8th level or lower spell as if it was 8th level with the casting time becoming 1 action and the components becoming V. Free resurrections, infinite clones, free Leomund's Secret Chest, free Instant Summons, an instant Simulacrum (replete with all your spells and 1st to 8th level spell slots - huzzah for doubling your spellcasting and concentration in an instant), free castles, free towers, and you get the idea. Make a demiplane with tons of buffs, or make one that is full of traps able to kill anything.
And if you do want to risk the consequences of a non-Basic use then you can do even more: rewrite reality as you see fit. Want this without the risks? Make a Simulacrum the normal way and have it cast the Wish for you.
It's the most versatile and useful spell in the game.
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By my count that is 17 good spells, 1 neutral and 1 bad.
So, OP, Lordneg, "Do they suck as bad as it seems when I read them? " - Not even slightly. You're reading them wrong, missing their point and are failing to understand how to use them properly.
Personal preference may always be in play, so you're free to dislike any spell, of course. However, terms of "good or bad" should be based on something more than preference, and without personal preference most of these 9th level spells are ****balls awesomesauce if you know how to use them properly.
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I agree with Cybermind. When unsure about 9th level spells just look at Foresight, Time Stop and True Polymorph. Don't even need Wish to find some gold.
Your explanation for weird in particular threw me off, Cybermind. It is just an area phantasmal killer which probably makes it an ok 6th level spell. Certainly if you combo it well it can become good... like lots of other 6th level spells. In a vacuum the spell seems OK, but when you compare it to other spells (especially things like fear or even insect plague) then it no longer looks so shiny.