That is the link to the race I created. Looking for whatever feedback I can get to make sure it is balanced. That could also include a better name, because Waterhorse humanoid is not great.
Please let me know what you think good or bad and why.
In short, I think you have something, you just have a long way to go. First off, what is a waterhorse humanoid? Is it like a centaur but a seahorse? Or is it something else entirely? Yes, the short description has stuff, but when quickly glancing at it, we don't see anything. Secondly, there are traits in the description, but none in the actual builder. So when I make a Waterhorse Humanoid character, I don't see any racial traits. Take a look at VillainTheroy's races as an example.
Two things about the race itself: One, no swimming speed, that feels important. Two, I feel natural armor should be 12+Dex, for some reason I can't place 13 seems too high and 11 seems too low.
"The relevant equation is: Knowledge = power = energy = matter = mass; a good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read." - Terry Pratchett
I was working on it on my phone, so I will look into editing to make it format correctly. I put everything in the description before realizing there was a separate section for racial traits. I will fix this! I will make sure that there is a solid description of the appearance as well!
There was at one point a swim speed, in my format failing it might have gotten deleted or hidden. I will make sure it is clear because it is a pretty important piece of information. I'm amenable to changing the natural armor number. I swiped it straight from the playtest stuff for loxodon, but that might not be the best source since it is also essentially in beta. I appreciate the input! And I'll edit it soon so that no one else has to deal with the same formatting issues.
For some reason the swim speed still didn't show. I really don't know why they have a special spot for the different travel speeds if they don't show up after being saved!
I'm still confused, what does it look like? Is it half man half plesiosaurus? Or is it dwarf on land, plesiosaurus in the water? One of the most important things about a race like this is the story. Where did they come from, what story do they tell each other about why they transform? A race that is made from whole cloth needs to be grounded in the world.
Consider breaking up the description with titles and remember that alignment, speed, and size are also racial traits.
"The relevant equation is: Knowledge = power = energy = matter = mass; a good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read." - Terry Pratchett
I guess I'm not really sure how to make the description clearer. I thought the description of them looking like blue dwarfs on land and a plesiosaur in the water was enough but if it isn't I will work to make that more clear.
Yeah I know. It just seems odd to have a space at the very beginning for all of the speeds and to not have them show up anywhere! I have a strange feeling I will go through many versions before one is finalized so I will not rely on the speed boxes next time.
As for the story behind why they change and their mythology, I haven't actually worked that out yet. I honestly came up with this because I was working on another project, and could not find anything like it to fill the need that I had for a Nessie like creature that could also be played as a PC.i can work that all out later, mostly concerned about balance for the racial traits included. Is it too powerful? Not powerful enough? Is it original? Is it interesting? Woit people potentially want to play it?
Most race writeups include the following information in addition to just the statistics
appearance
mannerisms
typical living conditions
homeland
what drives them to become adventurers
Right now, we can't even tell if your race is bipedal or not, which will have an effect on game play. Living conditions is kind of important, because this is also a time when we start talking about how much water an aquatic species would be exposed to. Do they need to constantly keep their skin wet? Just drink a lot? Are they uncomfortable in heat? Are these waterhorses salt water or fresh water, or does it matter?
So I haven't gotten any comments anywhere on whether the race is over-powerer or under-powered. I tried to make the flavor and description in regards to what everyone was saying, but what I need help on is the mechanics not the story. I honestly don't care if people change the origin, behavior, habitat, or alignment in their personal games so long as the mechanics are fair and balanced.
I need this race for a home game I'm building and it was the only character I needed to build a race for to make things work. So I want to make sure it is balanced with all of the other possible PCs my players can choose from.
"The relevant equation is: Knowledge = power = energy = matter = mass; a good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read." - Terry Pratchett
Sorry, didn't see the updated bits. Anyways, onto the judging!
Turning into a plesiosaurus is a bit unusual, and we need a bit of information on what happens to equipment, as that does change depending if we're talking Wild Shape, Polymoroph, or some other shapechanging efffect. Given the current wording, changing into a plesiosaurus would also drop you to that 2 INT, 12 WIS and 5 CHA, as well as losing all your class, race, background, and feat features. You might wish to address that as well if you don't want to revert to a dumb beast.
The abilities themselves feel a bit jumbled - you have +2 STR, +1 INT, an innate mage armor, nature checks (something traditionally associated with druids, rangers, some specific subclasses), cold resistance, holding breath and darkvision. The cold resistance and dark vision really feel strange here when paired with the holding breath. The plesiosaurus as well as your custom race is like a whale, in that it needs to breath air. It won't be deep diving, as such would never use that breath or darkvision. The STR and innate armor also feel a bit strange - you'll likely be using heavy armor here, given the strength, or going with the wizard route, making those two points of STR sadly redundant; I'd recommend something closer to Warforged or the Tortle.
No matter what route you go with, I feel like a full half of the racial abilities will end up being more flavor than seeing actual use.
It was intended to be like wild shapes, but I will make sure that it is clear in the shifter ability. I will also make sure that it is clear they keep their racial traits.
I think based on your comments I have a slew of new changes to make so illI probably have an updated version soon.
Going to probably go back to being amphibious, but make them medium creatures in the water unlike their monstrous counterparts. Will also be shifting the natural armor to a bit of piercing damage during grapples from the denticle covered skin. With these changes I think the racial traits will make more sense, and be balanced.
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https://www.dndbeyond.com/characters/races/55766-waterhorse-humanoid
That is the link to the race I created. Looking for whatever feedback I can get to make sure it is balanced. That could also include a better name, because Waterhorse humanoid is not great.
Please let me know what you think good or bad and why.
In short, I think you have something, you just have a long way to go. First off, what is a waterhorse humanoid? Is it like a centaur but a seahorse? Or is it something else entirely? Yes, the short description has stuff, but when quickly glancing at it, we don't see anything. Secondly, there are traits in the description, but none in the actual builder. So when I make a Waterhorse Humanoid character, I don't see any racial traits. Take a look at VillainTheroy's races as an example.
Two things about the race itself: One, no swimming speed, that feels important. Two, I feel natural armor should be 12+Dex, for some reason I can't place 13 seems too high and 11 seems too low.
Tooltips | Snippet Code | How to Homebrew on D&D Beyond | Subclass Guide | Feature Roadmap
Astromancer's Homebrew Assembly
"The relevant equation is: Knowledge = power = energy = matter = mass; a good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read." - Terry Pratchett
I was working on it on my phone, so I will look into editing to make it format correctly. I put everything in the description before realizing there was a separate section for racial traits. I will fix this! I will make sure that there is a solid description of the appearance as well!
There was at one point a swim speed, in my format failing it might have gotten deleted or hidden. I will make sure it is clear because it is a pretty important piece of information. I'm amenable to changing the natural armor number. I swiped it straight from the playtest stuff for loxodon, but that might not be the best source since it is also essentially in beta. I appreciate the input! And I'll edit it soon so that no one else has to deal with the same formatting issues.
Updated race info!
https://www.dndbeyond.com/characters/races/55823-waterhorse-humanoid
For some reason the swim speed still didn't show. I really don't know why they have a special spot for the different travel speeds if they don't show up after being saved!
I'm still confused, what does it look like? Is it half man half plesiosaurus? Or is it dwarf on land, plesiosaurus in the water? One of the most important things about a race like this is the story. Where did they come from, what story do they tell each other about why they transform? A race that is made from whole cloth needs to be grounded in the world.
Consider breaking up the description with titles and remember that alignment, speed, and size are also racial traits.
Tooltips | Snippet Code | How to Homebrew on D&D Beyond | Subclass Guide | Feature Roadmap
Astromancer's Homebrew Assembly
"The relevant equation is: Knowledge = power = energy = matter = mass; a good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read." - Terry Pratchett
I guess I'm not really sure how to make the description clearer. I thought the description of them looking like blue dwarfs on land and a plesiosaur in the water was enough but if it isn't I will work to make that more clear.
Yeah I know. It just seems odd to have a space at the very beginning for all of the speeds and to not have them show up anywhere! I have a strange feeling I will go through many versions before one is finalized so I will not rely on the speed boxes next time.
As for the story behind why they change and their mythology, I haven't actually worked that out yet. I honestly came up with this because I was working on another project, and could not find anything like it to fill the need that I had for a Nessie like creature that could also be played as a PC.i can work that all out later, mostly concerned about balance for the racial traits included. Is it too powerful? Not powerful enough? Is it original? Is it interesting? Woit people potentially want to play it?
Most race writeups include the following information in addition to just the statistics
Right now, we can't even tell if your race is bipedal or not, which will have an effect on game play. Living conditions is kind of important, because this is also a time when we start talking about how much water an aquatic species would be exposed to. Do they need to constantly keep their skin wet? Just drink a lot? Are they uncomfortable in heat? Are these waterhorses salt water or fresh water, or does it matter?
https://www.dndbeyond.com/characters/races/57626-waterhorse-humanoid
Please let me know if racial traits are balanced.
So I haven't gotten any comments anywhere on whether the race is over-powerer or under-powered. I tried to make the flavor and description in regards to what everyone was saying, but what I need help on is the mechanics not the story. I honestly don't care if people change the origin, behavior, habitat, or alignment in their personal games so long as the mechanics are fair and balanced.
I need this race for a home game I'm building and it was the only character I needed to build a race for to make things work. So I want to make sure it is balanced with all of the other possible PCs my players can choose from.
The plesiosaurus shifting could be problematic, but if you're using it in a home game you should be fine.
Tooltips | Snippet Code | How to Homebrew on D&D Beyond | Subclass Guide | Feature Roadmap
Astromancer's Homebrew Assembly
"The relevant equation is: Knowledge = power = energy = matter = mass; a good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read." - Terry Pratchett
Sorry, didn't see the updated bits. Anyways, onto the judging!
Turning into a plesiosaurus is a bit unusual, and we need a bit of information on what happens to equipment, as that does change depending if we're talking Wild Shape, Polymoroph, or some other shapechanging efffect. Given the current wording, changing into a plesiosaurus would also drop you to that 2 INT, 12 WIS and 5 CHA, as well as losing all your class, race, background, and feat features. You might wish to address that as well if you don't want to revert to a dumb beast.
The abilities themselves feel a bit jumbled - you have +2 STR, +1 INT, an innate mage armor, nature checks (something traditionally associated with druids, rangers, some specific subclasses), cold resistance, holding breath and darkvision. The cold resistance and dark vision really feel strange here when paired with the holding breath. The plesiosaurus as well as your custom race is like a whale, in that it needs to breath air. It won't be deep diving, as such would never use that breath or darkvision. The STR and innate armor also feel a bit strange - you'll likely be using heavy armor here, given the strength, or going with the wizard route, making those two points of STR sadly redundant; I'd recommend something closer to Warforged or the Tortle.
No matter what route you go with, I feel like a full half of the racial abilities will end up being more flavor than seeing actual use.
It was intended to be like wild shapes, but I will make sure that it is clear in the shifter ability. I will also make sure that it is clear they keep their racial traits.
I think based on your comments I have a slew of new changes to make so illI probably have an updated version soon.
Going to probably go back to being amphibious, but make them medium creatures in the water unlike their monstrous counterparts. Will also be shifting the natural armor to a bit of piercing damage during grapples from the denticle covered skin. With these changes I think the racial traits will make more sense, and be balanced.