Sitting across from each other over an old, ale-worn oak table; Alys and Aelena remained almost motionless as the flickering glow of a hearty fire reaching its end, struggled to banish the whispering shadows of the encroaching dark.
“You’re shaking!”
Alys spoke in a hushed whisper, so as not to draw attention to her friend’s moment of weakness.
Aelena looked down at her hands to notice that they were trembling. The tremor was ever so slight; Aelena was sure that nobody but an Elf could have seen it, still, though, she wasn’t prepared to take the chance. Aelena clutched her friend's hands to make her own stop trembling; “perhaps we should retire for the night.” Aelena whispered her words, her eyes darting around the snug of The Howling Wolf.
“Its this place, these people; these humans, the look in their eyes makes my soul shiver.”
Aelena glanced around to make sure her words were not drawing any unwanted attention from her fellow patrons, before continuing in hushed tones.
“There is malice in this place, I can feel it, and I can’t – I just can’t …”
Before Aelena could finish, Alys had pulled her up from her seat and holding her close, as though she was supporting a drunken comrade, guided Aelena up the stairs and towards their small room.
Quoted up top, is the first scene from a backstory for a level 5 character.
I have only got this far, and intend to use the narrative between Alys and Aelena, to explain Alys's backstory up to the point where she would start adventuring. As a level 5 character, her backstory will need to be more detailed than if she was level 1. So, I would like your thoughts and opinions on this first scene, in which we see Alys and Aelena sat in the snug of The Howling Wolf inn.
The above is the beginning of the backstory for the character discussed here and later updated in this post. In the scene above, Aelena still doesn't fully trust humans yet, and the atmosphere is making her uncomfortable.
What do you all think and how do you imagine this story unfolding as I write more of it?
Story perspective. I don't have a feel on who is in the inn. I know there are humans, but I don't have sense if they are in a dive bar on the wharf, the seedy underbelly of a poor district, an inn with greedy merchants, etc. So a brief description of who is there would help with framing the context.
Assuming that this is before play starts, what might happen next (and again without context of the where, these are random thoughts.
A bard/fop/innkeeper/waitress HUMAN notices the ill Alys and tries to help.
A human who doesn't like elves/fey throws rude comments at them as they depart upstairs, angering the pair.
A rogue/thief/spiv notices the pair leave, and follows intent in stealing gold/virtue/etc from them as they head to their room.
A fight breaks out in the seedy tavern, and the pair get caught up in the action.
A variant of each of the above, is someone ELSE is targeted, which might offend their sensibilities.
In all the cases above, how do they react? Would they stand up for another elf? Another human that otherwise seems innocent (a child?) For themselves? How? A slap? A point of a scimitar? a spell?
Of the above I like 2.3 with the rogue. Because that could lead into a number of scenarios, where they could find a reason to play the hero.
These are excellent comments and suggestions. I will consider them. I am pretty terrible at this after all and need all the help that I can get. Here is the link to the live document on dropbox, if you or anyone else wants to follow the story as I write it. Alys Amastacia - Backstory - 230919 - v1, although I will continue to post significant updates on the forums as well.
You say you're "pretty terrible at this after all", I think the only thing you may be bad it as overthinking/overplanning your character. All of your posts are very heavily thought out, but that doesn't seem to allow much wiggle room for your character to either fit into a campaign or grow and change to fit into a group.
Maybe try going with a 'less is more' approach; a character concept that can be pitched in a tweet maybe?
Here is something that I have written. It is different to what I have above, and because it is a backstory for a level 5 character. I have tried to write this as though they have already been out in the world, doing something before the adventure begins. I have also tried to write it as if the thing they were doing pre-adventure has stalled and tried to tie it into events that are happening in the world.
To do this, I asked my DM if she could tell me a bit about her world and what kind of events might be taking place in the background.
Lastly, I have tried to tie in Aelena. Aelena will be played partially by another player and partly by the DM, as the player can't make it to every session. I have still tried to tie her into my character's backstory though, as our characters are supposed to be the best of friends.
With all this in mind. Here is what I have written. It is a page long, but remember, it is for a level 5 character.
Backstory for Alys Amastacia.
Born in the Feywild to an Archfey mother and a Human father, Alys Amastacia was raised on the material plane as a Human by her father. She only ever occasionally saw her mother, who visited her in secret. By the time she was sixteen years old, Alys had developed a deep spiritual connection to nature and the wild. Her Fey Ancestry was also starting to show itself in her capriciousness, and whimsical view of the world.
Thanks to her father’s high social status, Alys grew up in a wealthy, well-to-do, aristocratic family. As a child of a wealthy noble house, Alys was a quite pampered and wanted for nothing but her freedom. She hated the stuffiness of her room, the claustrophobic oppression of rank and her forced relationship with her stepmother and stepsister; whom, she despised above all.
Things only got worse for Alys as she got older. By the time she was eighteen, her father had arranged for her to marry the son of high ranking noble. Not wanting to marry that pampered boy of privilege, Alys attempted to voice her opinions to her father. However; her stepmother had gotten there first and with foul words, had bent her father's ear against her. No longer finding any joy in her life and seeing no hope for the future if she stayed, Alys ran away. She intended to find her way into the Feywild so that she could live with her mother; but, upon reaching the place where the crossing used to be, she found the way closed.
Desperate to escape a fate that she considered worse than death, Alys searched around for the way and growing ever desperate and increasingly frantic. Alys searched and searched until she stumbled into a clearing, where she collapsed from exhaustion. There she was found semi-conscious by a young Wood Elf, Druid, named Aelena. Aelena nursed Alys back to health with water from the sacred pool of Eldath and eventually introduced her to the elder of the village. Intrigued by this strange girl, the elder told Alys that she could stay and instructed Aelena to teach Alys the ways of the Druids.
Although their relationship was rocky at first, Alys learned much from Aelena and having found a part of themselves in each other; the pair eventually became best of friends.
When Alys passed her first test and joined the Circle of the Land, Aelena surprised her by baking a cake - the one food that Alys missed from the Human world. Aelena had never baked a cake before, and her attempts to do so only proved that she was no baker. None-the-less, Alys was much pleased by Aelena's gift, and this small act of kindness became the glue that cemented a relationship built up over many years.
Not long after joining the Circle of the Land; the Order of Rillifan recruited Alys as an acolyte and tasked her with recovering several sacred objects stolen from holy shrines built on the border between the forest realm, and the human kingdoms of the plains.
Having also learned that sacred objects had gone missing from their holy shrines, the Sisterhood of the Moonmaiden instructed Aelena to accompany Alys on her quest. As well as assisting Alys to recover the stolen artefacts of Rillifan, Aelena was also to retrieve the missing moonstone gems and return them to the holy places of Selûne.
Neither the Order nor the Sisterhood knew who had taken their sacred objects or where they had taken them. However, they strongly suspected that the agents of noble houses belonging to the Humans of the open plains were responsible.
After being furnished with the details of their respective tasks, Alys and Aelena set out on their first quest together. However; after months of searching, they were unable to locate any of the stolen objects.
Unsure of where to look next, the pair decided to take up temporary residence at the inn of The Howling Wolf. There they planned to recuperate and consider what their next moves might be while keeping an ear open for any information that they might uncover.
What you see above is only my second attempt, so I may yet be able to cut it down further. However, I am curious whether or not you guys think I am starting to get more on-brand or not.
I believe good background stories give you an idea about who the character is, what motivates them, and what they want. They should also include enough loose ends to tie to other characters, or the campaign story.
I've never been the type who writes a very detailed and exhaustive story, I prefer to go for snippets that just have enough 'bite' to it.
If I may provide a recent (and a favorite) example, below.
I made this story for a premade character, the dwarf cleric that was provided with the Starter Set and the Lost Mines of Phandelver. I changed the domain from Life to Tempest, though.
This story gives me everything I need to know who the character is.
He is a good person, who genuinely wants to help others (neutral good). He's upbeat and extrovert (making benevolent fun even in face of authority figures). It was a nice coincidence that the deity Muamman Duathal not only is the dwarfen god of lightning, but also of travelers, and venerated by non-dwarfs in that regard.
Putting himself in service of others is a good way to connect to other PC characters, and his good nature makes him cooperate well in a group of adventurers.
His motivation is fear. He wants to become more powerful, as his mentor showed him that a powerful cleric can defeat vile creatures. He would not be able to do that the way he lived his life before that event. He fears he is not adequate and needs to redeem himself.
His ultimate goal, however, is family. His goal feeds his motivation, as he needs to grow strong enough, so he believes he can protect the family he wants to raise.
This is a character who is looking for retirement, but needs to temper his abilities in fire, before he can get there. On the way to this goal, he is a person who will always try to help others (saying yes to all adventure hooks the DM dangles in front of the group), and a dependable ally, who is willing to sacrifice his life for his friends.
It was a dark and stormy night.
Not unusual for this time of the year.
We were protecting one of the last shipments, maybe even the last shipment, from (Dwarfish outpost) to (Human trading post) before the pass had to close down until spring.
It was sleeting so hard, we could barely see the cart in front of us.
But we trusted our father to get us through. He was the captain of our mercenary band. Our older sister was his lieutenant, and my brother and I served as sergeants. We had a solid number of our brethren with us, and nothing ever seriously contested us on this road.
We were in good spirits, despite the weather, and made fun of the captain, as he stopped the convoy for a fifth time, listening.
“What’s the matter old man?” I yelled through the storm, “are ye hearin’ another ghost?”
Our men laughed. In this weather nothing, not even ogres would step out of their caves. Our caravan was heavily armored, and we were a renowned force in this area, so I felt invincible.
Right then, I realized the mistake I’ve made. I’ve called father out in front of the troops, made fun of him, like he would never tolerate.
He stepped in front of me, his brow furrowed, as it always did before he tore into me, and I expected to catch his gauntlet with my cheek.
Instead I heard a screeching sound, as his armor was ripped apart, and was sprayed with a fine mist of his hot blood, contrasting with the biting cold of the sleet in my face.
I stood there, dumbfounded as to what happened, as our sister was the first to find her voice.
She yelled the battle commands we had trained so often, but where once order prevailed, we were just stumbling helplessly in the muddy ground.
We had to save the merchants. This was what they hired us for, this was our calling, the one thing we had promised them, to keep them safe.
I had never seen a beast as vile as this, and if the gods are good, will never have to see the like again.
The black shadow tore through our ranks as if we were made from straw. I saw sister flung aside through the air, her hand still clutching the battleaxe that was embedded in the fiend’s ugly hide. One after the other we fell.
There was no hope we could win against this creature.
We stood as long as we could.
I felt it’s gaze upon me, my time had come.
All I could do was say a silent prayer, and hope my death would hold it long enough for some of us to escape.
Lightning struck, thunder deafened me. It struck right next to the beast.
Again, another blinding flash, this time I could no longer stand, my senses left me and I lost consciousness.
When I came to, I was in a tent, by the side of the road.
The storm had let up, and there was only a slight drizzle in the air.
I lived, so did a few of us. Sister lost an arm, brother had a grievous gash from the shoulder to his chest. A few others were resting in cots in the tent.
I could smell the incense in the air, and heard the chant of a voice I didn’t know.
When I looked up, I noticed the older cleric.
He wore the vestments and the signs of Muamman Duathal, and I realized that he had saved us.
The civilians were safe, he told me, and the fiend had fled.
It was then, that I pledged myself to my god, even though it would still be several years until I realized this path that was mine and took up the faith.
I played the character for a few sessions so I had an idea of how to play. Then I looked for ways how to tie the rough shape into a story, which in turn made me reinforce the characteristics for the dwarf.
This way I grounded the character in story, not the other way around.
What you see above is only my second attempt, so I may yet be able to cut it down further. However, I am curious whether or not you guys think I am starting to get more on-brand or not.
You're on brand. But coming from someone that likes intricate backstories, make sure you leave enough room to:
Play off the other players in the party
Have room to grow or change based on the players and stories around you
Explore the unexpected
A detailed backstory is great for a DM that can use it. But, it also puts a lot of stakes in the ground. One example could be Alys attitude to humans; if it is set in stone, she can never discover that there are humans that are worth her time. And that could be the party members! On the other hand, perhaps that IS her involatile characteristic, why is she adventuring when she may run into more filthy humans?
Its a fine balancing act. But whether you have gone too far is a discuss between you and the DM, not us in the forum (although we are very good at opinions). Otherwise, you have a backstory that is noise, and you will be frustrated in the story you can't tell with Alys.
Quoted up top, is the first scene from a backstory for a level 5 character.
I have only got this far, and intend to use the narrative between Alys and Aelena, to explain Alys's backstory up to the point where she would start adventuring. As a level 5 character, her backstory will need to be more detailed than if she was level 1. So, I would like your thoughts and opinions on this first scene, in which we see Alys and Aelena sat in the snug of The Howling Wolf inn.
The above is the beginning of the backstory for the character discussed here and later updated in this post. In the scene above, Aelena still doesn't fully trust humans yet, and the atmosphere is making her uncomfortable.
What do you all think and how do you imagine this story unfolding as I write more of it?
A caffeinated nerd who has played TTRPGs or a number of years and is very much a fantasy adventure geek.
Ok, comments.
In all the cases above, how do they react? Would they stand up for another elf? Another human that otherwise seems innocent (a child?) For themselves? How? A slap? A point of a scimitar? a spell?
Of the above I like 2.3 with the rogue. Because that could lead into a number of scenarios, where they could find a reason to play the hero.
GLHF
These are excellent comments and suggestions. I will consider them. I am pretty terrible at this after all and need all the help that I can get. Here is the link to the live document on dropbox, if you or anyone else wants to follow the story as I write it. Alys Amastacia - Backstory - 230919 - v1, although I will continue to post significant updates on the forums as well.
Cheers
Foxes XD
A caffeinated nerd who has played TTRPGs or a number of years and is very much a fantasy adventure geek.
You say you're "pretty terrible at this after all", I think the only thing you may be bad it as overthinking/overplanning your character. All of your posts are very heavily thought out, but that doesn't seem to allow much wiggle room for your character to either fit into a campaign or grow and change to fit into a group.
Maybe try going with a 'less is more' approach; a character concept that can be pitched in a tweet maybe?
Find my D&D Beyond articles here
So guys,
Here is something that I have written. It is different to what I have above, and because it is a backstory for a level 5 character. I have tried to write this as though they have already been out in the world, doing something before the adventure begins. I have also tried to write it as if the thing they were doing pre-adventure has stalled and tried to tie it into events that are happening in the world.
To do this, I asked my DM if she could tell me a bit about her world and what kind of events might be taking place in the background.
Lastly, I have tried to tie in Aelena. Aelena will be played partially by another player and partly by the DM, as the player can't make it to every session. I have still tried to tie her into my character's backstory though, as our characters are supposed to be the best of friends.
With all this in mind. Here is what I have written. It is a page long, but remember, it is for a level 5 character.
What you see above is only my second attempt, so I may yet be able to cut it down further. However, I am curious whether or not you guys think I am starting to get more on-brand or not.
A caffeinated nerd who has played TTRPGs or a number of years and is very much a fantasy adventure geek.
Just thinking out loud here...
I believe good background stories give you an idea about who the character is, what motivates them, and what they want. They should also include enough loose ends to tie to other characters, or the campaign story.
I've never been the type who writes a very detailed and exhaustive story, I prefer to go for snippets that just have enough 'bite' to it.
If I may provide a recent (and a favorite) example, below.
I made this story for a premade character, the dwarf cleric that was provided with the Starter Set and the Lost Mines of Phandelver. I changed the domain from Life to Tempest, though.
This story gives me everything I need to know who the character is.
He is a good person, who genuinely wants to help others (neutral good). He's upbeat and extrovert (making benevolent fun even in face of authority figures). It was a nice coincidence that the deity Muamman Duathal not only is the dwarfen god of lightning, but also of travelers, and venerated by non-dwarfs in that regard.
Putting himself in service of others is a good way to connect to other PC characters, and his good nature makes him cooperate well in a group of adventurers.
His motivation is fear. He wants to become more powerful, as his mentor showed him that a powerful cleric can defeat vile creatures. He would not be able to do that the way he lived his life before that event. He fears he is not adequate and needs to redeem himself.
His ultimate goal, however, is family. His goal feeds his motivation, as he needs to grow strong enough, so he believes he can protect the family he wants to raise.
This is a character who is looking for retirement, but needs to temper his abilities in fire, before he can get there. On the way to this goal, he is a person who will always try to help others (saying yes to all adventure hooks the DM dangles in front of the group), and a dependable ally, who is willing to sacrifice his life for his friends.
More Interesting Lock Picking Rules
P.S.: The story is all made up after the fact.
I played the character for a few sessions so I had an idea of how to play. Then I looked for ways how to tie the rough shape into a story, which in turn made me reinforce the characteristics for the dwarf.
This way I grounded the character in story, not the other way around.
More Interesting Lock Picking Rules
You're on brand. But coming from someone that likes intricate backstories, make sure you leave enough room to:
A detailed backstory is great for a DM that can use it. But, it also puts a lot of stakes in the ground. One example could be Alys attitude to humans; if it is set in stone, she can never discover that there are humans that are worth her time. And that could be the party members! On the other hand, perhaps that IS her involatile characteristic, why is she adventuring when she may run into more filthy humans?
Its a fine balancing act. But whether you have gone too far is a discuss between you and the DM, not us in the forum (although we are very good at opinions). Otherwise, you have a backstory that is noise, and you will be frustrated in the story you can't tell with Alys.
GLHF