Special Equipment. The Wizard of the Coast carries a bag of devouring that only accepts gold, silver or copper pieces. The extradimensional monsters that devour its contents are two Great Old Ones known as the Hassenfeld Brothers.

Amphibious. The Wizard of the Coast can breathe air and water.

Creator of Plotholes, Defyer of Fate. After finishing a long rest, the Wizard of the Coast rolls 3d20. The Wizard of the Coast can replace any attack roll, saving throw, or ability check made by itself or a creature that it can see with one of these fate-twisting rolls. Each foretelling roll can be used only once

Destroy "Competition". The Wizard of the Coast has advantage on attack rolls and deals an additional 18 (4d8) psychic damage with each of its attacks against any creature that has developed or contributed to a roleplaying or trading card came in the past.

Fey Ancestry. The Wizard of the Coast has advantage on saving throws against being charmed and magic can't put it to sleep.

Legendary Resistance (5/Day). If the Wizard of the Coast fails a saving throw, it can choose to succeed instead.

Innate Spellcasting. The Wizard of the Coast's spellcasting ability is Constitution (spell save DC 27). It can cast the following spells without components:

• at will: charm person, distort value, fast friends, incite greed, Jim's glowing coin, vicious mockery
• 1/day: feeblemind, glibness

Insatiable Greed. The Wizard of the Coast can perceive any creature within 500 feet of it that has money on it, even if that creature is behind full cover. However, if the Wizard of the Coast has not received any payment, either in regular money, or in gems, since the end of its last turn, it has advantage on its attack rolls until it receives money again. If it spends three turns without having received any payment, it enters a rage.
While raging, it has advantage on Strength checks and Strength saving throws, resistance to bludgeoning, piercing and slashing damage and gains a +10 bonus to the damage of its melee weapon attacks. However, at the end of each turns it spends raging, it gains a level of exhaustion.
The Wizard of the Coast's rage ends as soon as it receives any payment.

Magic Resistance. The Wizard of the Coast has advantage on saving throws against spells and magical effects.

Sage Advice. Anything the Wizard of the Coast says is perceived to be true, regardless of whether it actually is the truth or a lie.

Multiattack. The Wizard of the Coast casts a spell and makes four attacks in any combination.

Tentacle of Capitalism. Melee Weapon Attack: +19 to hit, reach 30 ft., one target. Hit: 23 (3d8+10) bludgeoning damage plus 27 (6d8) psychic damage and the target is grappled. While grappled in this way, it also is restrained. At the start of its turn, a grappled creature can either pay 600 gems to escape or attempt to escape with a successful DC 20 Wisdom (Athletics) check, seeing through all the dirty tricks to squeeze money out of it and defeating them with its steel will.

Trading Cards Against Humanity. Ranged Weapon Attack: +19 to hit, range 60/120 ft., one target. Hit: 24  (4d6+10) slashing damage and the creature must roll  a d4.

Summon Lawyers (1/day). The Wizard of the Coast summons a marut and two shield guardians, which protect the Wizard of the Coast as if it was wearing their amulets. They are under the Wizard of the Coast's control, take their turns immediately after the Wizard of the Coast in initiative and remain for 1 hour or until they are defeated. Furthermore, if the marut targets a character with an attack, the character can use their reaction to pay 10.000 GP  to avoid the attack.

Advertising Teleport. The Wizard of the Coast teleports up to 60 feet to an unoccupied space it can see. An illusionary copy of the Wizard of the Coast keeps lingering in the space it left until the start of the Wizard of the Coast's next turn. This copy advertises for new trading cards and accessories for the Wizard of the Coast's roleplaying game. Any creature  is distracted while within 10 feet of the copy and has disadvantage on its attack rolls and on saving throws it makes to avoid spending money.

OGL 1.1. When a creature the Wizard of the Coast can see within 500 feet of it casts a spell of 1st level or higher, it can use its reaction to force the creature to make a DC 27 Charisma saving throw. On a failure, the Wizard of the Coast revokes the license that allowed the creature to use that spell. In this case, the spell fails and the creature loses its ability to cast that spell until it finishes a long rest or until it pays 200 gems per level of the spell as a bonus action to buy it from the Wizard of the Coast.
Furthermore, the Wizard of the Coast learns the spell and can cast it once before it finishes a long rest as if it was an innate spell.

The Wizard of the Coast can take 5 legendary actions, choosing from the options below. Only one legendary action option can be used at a time and only at the end of another creature's turn. The Wizard of the Coast regains spent legendary actions at the start of its turn.

Cast a Spell. The Wizard of the Coast casts a spell of its choice.

Cease and Desist. A creature of the Wizard of the Coast's choice must succeed on a DC 27 Wisdom saving throw or be charmed by the Wizard of the Cost. While charmed in this way, a creature cannot do anything that could be considered harmful to either the Wizard of the Coast or to any creature of its choice. If the creature succeeds on the saving throw or is immune to the charmed condition, the Wizard of the Coast can instead command a summoned marut to use its reaction to move up to its speed and to make one attack against the creature.

Lootbox. A creature of the Wizard of the Coast's choice must succeed on a DC 27 Wisdom saving throw or be compelled to buy a lootbox for 120 gems immediately. The lootbox's contents are:

If a creature has no gems available, it receives no lootbox and instead uses its action on its next turn to convert gold, silver or copper pieces into gems. If it has no money left, it instead becomes incapacitated until the end of its next turn.

Special Offer! (costs 3 Actions, Recharge 5–6).  Any creature of the Wizard of the Coast's choice that it can see within 120 feet of it must succeed on a DC 27 Wisdom saving throw or be compelled to buy one of various cosmetic upgrades or accessories  that are on sale right now - armor and weapon skins, card sleeves and various other stuff. An affected creature takes 45 (12d8) psychic damage, uses its reaction to move as far as its speed allows towards the Wizard of the Coast while avoding obviously dangerous areas and spends 180 gems to buy something it does not really need.
If a creature has no gems available, it instead uses its action on its next turn to convert gold, silver or copper pieces into gems. If it has no money left, it instead becomes incapacitated until the end of its next turn.