You seek to find and destroy all people of French descent. The French are an evil people, who strive to achieve superiority above all other groups, using their outrageous accents and fresh-baked, non-garlified baguettes. You are one of the few willing to become the very thing you seek to destroy — French.

Spellcasting

you know how spells work, and its late at night and I’m tired. If you don’t know how spells work, multiclass and figure it out yourself.

Baguette Spears

Starting at 3rd level, you have mastered the baking of baguettes. As a bonus action, you can summon three eight-foot long sharpened baguette spears, which have the durability of 5160 spring steel and the density of balsa wood. A spear weighs 18 pounds, has an AC 16, a damage threshold of eight, and eight hit points. These spears have a range of 100/300 when thrown, and have a +3 bonus to attack rolls as well as a +1 bonus to damage rolls. Baguette spears are a finesse weapon that deal 2d4 garlic damage when thrown, and 1d8 garlic damage when used as a melee weapon.  When summoned, these spears vanish after 38,614 years.

Obnoxious Accent

Upon reaching 7th level, you master an outrageously perfected French accent, which you can use as a code to hide your words. This accent is so thick that words you say in it are completely unintelligible to creatures you choose to make It indecipherable for. Indeed, your accent is so far beyond reality that not even actual French people know what you are trying to say if you wish them not to. In addition to this, you learn the French language to better aid your ridiculous mockery, and you gain advantage on Charisma checks made when interacting with members of high society (in most cultures, this is the noble, the rich, the royal, and the holy), as they are indelibly impressed by your paragon of parodistic pontification, though they are unaware of its inherent mocking nature.

Defrancify

Starting at 11th level, your Brand of Castigation exposes a fragment of your foe’s essence, leaving them vulnerable to your Crimson Rite feature. Whenever you hit a branded creature with a weapon for which you have an active crimson rite, you deal additional damage equal to double your hemocraft modifier (minimum of 1) when determining the extra damage from the rite. Additionally, if a branded creature has the Tiny Li’l French Mf trait or a similar feature, it can’t activate that trait while branded.

Blood Curse of the Burnt Beret

At 15th level, you hone your hemocraft to tear corruption from the minds and bodies of your allies—and to punish those responsible for it. You gain the Blood Curse of the Burnt Beret for your Blood Maledict feature. This doesn’t count against your number of blood curses known.

Blood Curse of the Burnt Beret

As a bonus action, you choose one creature you can see within 30 feet of you that is French or does not like garlic breas, or which is under a possession effect by a French creature. The target creature is no longer French, against the taste of garlic bread, or possessed.

Amplify. A creature that frenched or possessed the target of your curse takes 3d6 psychic damage and must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw or be stunned until the end of your next turn. If the target was previously French, not as the effect of a spell or other magical effect, they take this damage as well.

 

Blood Curse of the Burnt Beret

As a bonus action, you choose one creature you can see within 30 feet of you that is French or does not like garlic breas, or which is under a possession effect by a French creature. The target creature is no longer French, against the taste of garlic bread, or possessed.

Amplify. A creature that frenched or possessed the target of your curse takes 3d6 psychic damage and must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw or be stunned until the end of your next turn. If the target was previously French, not as the effect of a spell or other magical effect, they take this damage as well.

Champagne Blast

At 18th level, you have achieved a level of magic (you’ve been able to cast spells this entire time, it just hasn’t been brought up at all) powerful enough to obtain a nigh-limitless supply of bottles of incredibly expensive champagne. A number of times equal to your proficiency bonus, as an attack, you can pop one such bottle, which’s cork flies directly out up to 60 feet. Any creature hit by the cork takes 2d10 piercing damage and must succeed on a DC 10 Constitution save or be pierced entirely by the cork, which then continues on its trajectory. A creature whose body is shot through in this way takes an additional 2d12 Necrotic damage. After the cork’s flight is resolved, the champagne in the bottle sprays out in a 30-foot cone centered along the cork’s trajectory. Creatures in this cone must succeed on a CON save (against your hemocraft DC) or take 3d4 Poison damage and be Poisoned. On a success, a creature takes half damage and isn’t poisoned.

You regain all expended uses of this feature after a long rest.