So, I'm a decently smart guy, but I don't have an Intelligence of 17 like my PC does, and I'm neither an engineer nor a mathematician. How I'd like to rectify this from a roleplaying stance is with the time-honored tradition of magesplaining and technobabble. My Artificer is a bit of a space cadet, and has a tendency to distract himself by ruminating on complex magical theories and equations, and their uses and applications.

For example, the party might be having trouble devising a strategy, then he suddenly pipes up, saying: "I've got it!" When asked if he has a plan, he may happily respond with something along the lines of "Even better--I just solved Johnson's Paradox! It was never about the lemons!"

What I need help with is actually supplying myself with a convincing and steady stream of sayings and concepts in this vein. I was thinking making of making a table where I can roll to mix and match various esoteric gobbledygook, but I can only come up with so much. Any ideas?

The single greatest amd most rediculous technobabble came from OG Voltron. Let's see if I can do this from memory....."Activate interlocks, dynotherms connected, ultracells up, megathrusters are go!"

Well, don't forget, you aren't just using techno-babble, it's magi-techno-babble.  Drop names, throw in crystals.

Ah, so the thing is I had to solve for the crystal leylines using Tenser's formula, then refract in a Mordenkainian Crystal Latice, then take the Gygax coefficient, reduced by Xanathar's constant.  It became obvious that it was resonating on a  frequency equal to Acererrack's Absolute.

https://www.technobabble.biz/

Oh that's amazing.

"I need to convert the hyperbolated neutrinos into trans-modified leptons. This will make the translocomation cord reverberate the abjuration hadrons back through the mago-graviturgic field."

I would pull inspiration from Rick & Morty they have fun rifting on the whole technobabble thing.

These are all amazing! I especially love that technobabble site. I do love the magic aspect that gets thrown in, too. I don't get to use words like "realmatic" very often.

I can see it now:

"Whoa, how did you fix that?"

"It was quite simple really. Its locomotive resonators were shot because of some unforeseen kinetoplanar leyline fluctuations, so I rerouted all the phonographic circuitry to a new runic channeler using the Geordi Bypass Cascade method and about three pounds of human flesh."

Another thing to remember, Dragonborn have only 4 digits on each hand, so their math would be in base 8.  So you can also realize
"ah, there's the issue.  did my numerological calculations in Dwarvish Runes, when I should have done them in Draconic.  Well, at least they didn't utilize a Sylvan randomize... oh no.  tho'se brilliant fey bastards!

Star Trek, Stargate SG1, Back to the Future.... ‘nuff said?

Will anyone want me to post the first table I've made for use with your own Artificers?

Quote from Nildecanter >>

Will anyone want me to post the first table I've made for use with your own Artificers?

 Do it ...

... please. 

Alright; most of it is specific to my own character, but there should be plenty of stuff to prompt anyone if they're creative enough. There's a second one coming, too

This is a list of magical texts, theories, and concepts. Roll a percentage die to determine the result.

1. Johnson’s Paradox
2. Geordi’s Bypass Cascade Method
3. Polliwog’s Motive Echo Theory
4. Volo’s Law of Magioecological Constancy
5. Acererak’s Laws of Postmortem Kinesis
6. Gygax Waves
7. Tenser’s Constant
8. Adams’ Improbability Forecast
9. Mordenkainen Collection (roll 1d6)
   • The Codex of Mordenkainen
   • Cosmogony of Magnetic Fluids
   • Dark Sides of the Memory
   • Epic Saga of the Great Conjurers
   • On the Rise of Magecraft and Modernity
   • Weapons of the Ether
10. Pratchett’s Theory of Phonochromatic Resonance
11. Xanathar’s Realmatic Observational Process
12. Berrycloth’s Runic Dichotomization Technique
13. The De Saffir Method
14. Gander’s Exoplanar Divination Procedure
15. Shing Theory
16. Wyrmodynamics
17. The Grand Theory of Weight
18. The Potts-Nightingale Theorem
19. Elderberry’s Numinous Provocation Hypothesis
20. Azoshan’s Equilibrium
21. The Soro Equation
22. Tuonela’s Cat
23. Onora’s Manifold
24. Amity’s Razor
25. Om’s Law of Thaumatoglyphics
26. The Dagaz Function
27. Gregoric’s Axiom
28. Fate Tectonics
29. Spontaneous Combustion
30. “Why doesn’t the planet’s axle squeak?”
31. Paleothaumaturgy (ancient magic)
32. Perenelle’s Immortality in Retrospect
33. Abramelin’s Pact (for the creation or binding of familiars)
34. Hierothaumatology (the study of divine magic)
35. Panna’s Unknowable Theorem
36. Fortissimo’s Glyphic Recursion
37. Sin-Kun’s Conjecture
38. The Shamuri Principle
39. The Effect
40. Pegas’ Axioms
41. Maximillian’s Relations
42. Yesha’s Golden Rule
43. Zursan’s Wunjo Derivative
44. Morphic Fields
45. Abbas’ Theses on the Models of Wonderworking
46. Berrycloth’s Glyphic-Circuital Law
47. Quarks
48. Electrothaumaturgy
49. Tir-Zuri’s Formulary
50. Truesight
51. Murlynd’s Essentials of Wandcraft
52. Drawmij’s Expedient Transportation Method
53. Starcoat’s Planar Orrery
54. Bolingbroke’s Corpus Vecna
55. Aasar’s Reversal
56. Iggwilv’s Mystical Jocularity Routine
57. Dawinjona’s Legendary of Fantastic Conveyances
58. Nystul’s Law of Spectrothaumaturgy (as detailed in Libram of the Great Paravisual Emanations)
59. The Leomund Collection (roll 1d4)
    • Architecture
    • Forgotten Arts of Oratory Magnetism
    • Thesis on the Planes of Anti-Matter
    • Transcendental Impenetrabilities
60. Keraptis’ Pyronomicon
61. Vi’s Principles of Arcane Artillery
62. Berrycloth’s Encanter’s Enchiridion
63. The Reynardine Cycle (roll 1d6)
    • “How Fox Was Foiled Seven Times”
    • “The Piper’s Wide Grin”
    • “Flutterfox”
    • “The Orchard of Giants”
    • “Reynard and the Foolish King”
    • “The Fairy Price”
64. Sanderson’s First Law
65. Tomorast’s Tome of the Black Heart
66. The Sevenfold Runic Sequence
67. Evard’s Legendary of Phantoms and Ghosts
68. Leyline Oscillation
69. Bucknard’s Inexplicable Revelations
70. Bezalel’s 72 Hieroglyphs of Fabrilocomotion
71. Widogast’s Fatal Combustion Maneuver
72. The Mercer Effect
73. Tennant’s Temporal Knot Hypothesis
74. Khrissalla’s Ars Arcana
75. The Boke of Palimpsest
76. The Necrotelecomnicon
77. Derkholm’s Synthesis of Peculiar Beings
78. Aether’s Theorem
79. The Hygromanteia
80. The Book of Cagliostro
81. The Law of Iconic Entanglement
82. Iroh’s Reversal
83. “Inn-sewer-ants”
84. Iconomancy
85. Reuchlin’s The White Conjuror’s Primer
86. Asimov’s Three Laws of Constructs
87. “Semi-yacht-ticks”
88. Probable Improbabilities
89. Arnd’s Unknown Movements of the Universe
90. Kas the Bloody-Handed’s Legendary of Great Arms and Fabulous Heroes
91. The Thousand Riddles of Confundus
92. Otto’s Arcane Manipulations of the Entourage
93. Onitor’s Perilous Arithmetic
94. Red dragon ecology
95. Dunamancy
96. Anostrum’s Leylinear Drift Theory
97. Metagraphomancy
98. Animunculus construction
99. Construct “taming"
100. The Hundredfold Door

Follow these steps, arrange results in any order:

Pick any term from physics such as (or just roll 1d6):

1. Graviton
2. Neutrino
3. Plasma
4. Phase
5. Tachyon
6. Photon

Pick one of the following (or just roll 1d4): 

1. Burst
2. Wave
3. Pulse
4. Field

Pick anything that even remotely sounds like it could be a car part such as (or just roll 1d12):

1. Manifold
2. Conduit
3. Relay
4. Capacitor
5. Generator
6. Inverter
7. Restricter
8. Multiplier
9. Inducer
10. Injector
11. Regulator
12. Coupling

Pick a malfunction or issue such as (or just roll 1d8):

1. Jammed
2. Inverted
3. Depolarized
4. Degaussed
5. Leaking
6. Corroded
7. Misaligned
8. Depressurized 

Pick a proposed solution/repair method such as (or just roll 1d8):

1. Repolarization
2. Realignment 
3. Adjusting
4. Bypass
5. Recharging
6. Degaussing
7. Inversion
8. Refocussing

Quote from IamSposta >>

Follow these steps, arrange results in any order:

Pick any term from physics such as (or just roll 1d6):

1. Graviton
2. Neutrino
3. Plasma
4. Phase
5. Tachyon
6. Photon

Pick one of the following (or just roll 1d4): 

1. Burst
2. Wave
3. Pulse
4. Field

Pick anything that even remotely sounds like it could be a car part such as (or just roll 1d12):

1. Manifold
2. Conduit
3. Relay
4. Capacitor
5. Generator
6. Inverter
7. Restricter
8. Multiplier
9. Inducer
10. Injector
11. Regulator
12. Coupling

Pick a malfunction or issue such as (or just roll 1d8):

1. Jammed
2. Inverted
3. Depolarized
4. Degaussed
5. Leaking
6. Corroded
7. Misaligned
8. Depressurized 

Pick a proposed solution/repair method such as (or just roll 1d8):

1. Repolarization
2. Realignment 
3. Adjusting
4. Bypass
5. Recharging
6. Degaussing
7. Inversion
8. Refocussing

Looks like you beat me to it! Good job! I'd propose adding a little more mystical flair, though, like Zoken44 pointed out. It's a more scientific approach to magic, but it is still magic.

I love the reference to Sanderson's First law. :')

Maybe reference Karsus's Avatar/Folly in some way?

Thanks! Tweak it however you like and please post your version too. I’d love to see what you would do differently.

Quote from EddyJ >>

I love the reference to Sanderson's First law. :')

There's another Cosmere reference in there, too : )