Anyone on here ever get any massive blowback for playing D&D? After some prodding from my mother about what I was doing Wednesday night's with friends, I finally admitted to going to Adventurers League and insanity shortly ensued in email form. I'm 30 and live on the other side of the country from my family.
If you're curious:
[Sparlock149],
please read the attached before you go to play.
It really is playing with the demons.
You are making a choice to learn more about them.
We won't send you a ticket this year if that is your choice.
We don't want people that practice spiritism in the house and
Thanks so much for sending the socks and recorder; they arrived earlier today.
I really do appreciate your concern. I understand your beliefs about magic and demons in media and entertainment, and am quite familiar with that particular article, as well as the larger historical context of the Satanic Panic of the 1980s.
I could comment on specific parts of the article that were already inaccurate at the time or have become outdated over the course of various editions, but that doesn't change the core of the matter: that I choose to play a game which has a colourful menagerie of demons, devils, and monsters in its bestiary. One of many, if I were to be honest, as a lot of fantasy fiction and games draw from the same collective mythology.
I'm sad to hear that you've decided it would be better for me not to visit this year, though I understand why you would come to that decision. I won't lie to you, and it doesn't make sense for me to change my choices based on information I know is incorrect. For what its worth, I can assure you that I'm fine and doing my best to make healthy decisions.
Perhaps instead you'll be able to come up at some point this year to catch a concert or pass through while visiting other family in the area.
With all my love,
[Sparlock149]
Her response:
[Sparlock149] did you realize that the spells in the game really do come from the occult and they are the same ones? Also the same names of various things are in the occult?
The man that wrote this article used to be a priest in the occult, so he knows what he is talking about when he writes about this game. Why do you want to be in league with demonic things?
There are two different kinds of spirit— Jehovah’s and Satan’s... You are choosing to eat from the table of the demons. Do you not believe that the demons are real? I have personally had experiences with them and it’s not good. I know Witnesses that used to be in the occult and it wasn’t good. One of them was a man-high priest and the other was a woman- a white witch. The demons made it really hard for them to leave their spiritism behind.
Your father had a workmate that was into demon things and Dads boss found him at home with a gun about to commit suicide.
You are playing with Fire here and all the more so because you used to know Jehovah. If you think that you can get away with playing with the demons and not get hurt— you are not being realistic. Trouble awaits. You are being warned and if you don’t take that warning seriously then I don’t know what will happen to you.
Demonism in any form is very dangerous. I hate to see you go down this path. It is NOT innocent fun.
We love you very much and are very saddened that you think it’s ok to play Satanic games.
I'm sorry. I've had a few raised eyebrows around here (small town, conservative midwest), and heard second hand about a couple of people who are/were concerned I was running a table at the library on a weekly basis. But nothing like this. And, in my case, it helps that I'm a pastor; a bit harder to make the "satanist" accusation against me.
Unfortunately, rational arguments aren't likely to get anywhere, as you seem to understand. Good for you on staying calm and non reactive.
I've been playing D&D since the late '70's, so yeah...I lived through this nonsense the first time. ArwensDaughter is right - rational arguments aren't going to change your mom's mind. I can tell you all kinds of positive reasons for role-playing, how it has been a good thing in my life and in the lives of my friends and my own children. This isn't a game for everyone, but it's certainly not satanic. If you really want to piss off your mom, tell her that many of the spells actually come from biblical stories.
I run a D&D group in my church for middle and high school kids - to give them a safe place to learn this awesome game. I recognize that kids can use this game to explore their darker desires - it's a role-playing game! It's not the games fault - it's our broken, sinful nature.
FWIW, I think you are handling it the best you can with your mom - don't apologize, but let her know that you love her no matter what. =)
Wow. I think you lucked out. Consider this: you became rational, reasonable and logical while growing up with that; if I were you, I'd be grateful for that alone.
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"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation."
You are far more level-headed and sympathetic than I could hope to be in your position. My resentment would have been evident in my response, in the unlikely case that I replied at all.
Considering that between our two families yours is the crazier, it's weird that you ended up the more well-adjusted one.
That really sucks, at least you're 30 and living on your own and not in your teens and living at home. I hope you're able to patch thing up with your mom at some point with out abandoning your hobby.
Which century are we living in, again? Sometimes it's hard to tell.
There's very little in the way of advice I can offer. My childhood home is chock full of D&D paraphernalia, and my parents always considered the game to be among my more productive and social extracurricular pursuits. They also know that if they were to attempt to remove the old books I would send a pit fiend after them. All I can wish you is luck, and commend you for your courage. Upsetting family members is a hard thing to do, but they have no right to dictate your life, even if you actually wanted to become a real satanist.
You handled this the best way possible. You were understanding and didn’t engage in a back and forth argument because it will go nowhere at this point.
Maybe down the road she’ll be open to hearing what the game means to you and how it has affected you positively. The only advice I can give is to keep saying “I appreciate your concern and while it’s hurtful that you don’t want to see me, I’ll respect your wishes.”
Hopefully she’ll come around at some point. If she doesn’t, just know that you can choose your family. Having grown up in a really violent and harsh environment as a kid with a mother who didn’t love me, that’s a lesson I learned.
Family are the people who love you unconditionally and support you. You find parent-like support beyond the people who gave birth to you. Do your best to keep avoiding the guilt traps that may get laid out and surround yourself with positive people who care for you. A good counselor always help.
Im sorry you have to go through this, just know that others have been there and will support you.
I really appreciate the support and well wishes, and extend the same to those facing similar issues. I'm glad that I'm at a place in my life where I have the ability to choose to be honest and true to myself... and especially being able to live without the fear that the demons are waiting around every corner because I decide to play a particular tabletop game.
Although, to be honest, I feel a little cheated. What level do my characters have to get to before we learn to actually cast magic? I mean come on! My AL character can summon lesser demons and I haven't even learned my first Cantrip yet? This is ridiculous! XD
I think the Satanic Panic has definitely gone down over the years but it still exists. My friend's mom told him not to play at all.
A lot of it is being overshadowed by other stuff. I think (most) people are starting to realize it was never bad in the first place. Stuff like GTA, and other video games, as well as social media and the internet in general is the main concern. D&D in the 80s was getting a bad Rap, and now its stuff like increasing violent video games.
D&D was never bad in the first place, and it does pretty cool things for you. It majorly expanded my vocabulary and it definitely helps with creative thinking skills and problem solving.
Your response is to be commended. You have more patience than I. I've found that you can change some peoples mind by explaining that D&D is essentially interactive fiction, and that the group impacts the type of story that is created. If you are talking to someone who is against reading things like Harry Potter because it has magic in it, well you're out of luck. I work with people who think magic is real. In the 21st century!? It blows my mind. You're dealing with an emotional response, not a rational one. No amount of rational discussion will help. My Mom was panicked back in the 80's due to the media, but that has long since changed once she realized that it is all imagination and just like reading a book. I turned out fine. No family is normal, but sorry you have to put up with that.
Back in probably 1986 there was an older kid I used to play D&D with and one day he didn't have any of his stuff anymore. He told me he threw it all out. He had so much stuff. old books, modules, dice... I said he should have given it to me rather than throw it out and he told me he didn't want it corrupting my mind.
(it didn't help)
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"Not all those who wander are lost"
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Anyone on here ever get any massive blowback for playing D&D? After some prodding from my mother about what I was doing Wednesday night's with friends, I finally admitted to going to Adventurers League and insanity shortly ensued in email form. I'm 30 and live on the other side of the country from my family.
If you're curious:
My response:
Mom,
Her response:
[Sparlock149] did you realize that the spells in the game really do come from the occult and they are the same ones? Also the same names of various things are in the occult?
The man that wrote this article used to be a priest in the occult, so he knows what he is talking about when he writes about this game. Why do you want to be in league with demonic things?
http://www.chick.com/articles/frpg.asp
There are two different kinds of spirit— Jehovah’s and Satan’s... You are choosing to eat from the table of the demons. Do you not believe that the demons are real? I have personally had experiences with them and it’s not good. I know Witnesses that used to be in the occult and it wasn’t good. One of them was a man-high priest and the other was a woman- a white witch. The demons made it really hard for them to leave their spiritism behind.
Your father had a workmate that was into demon things and Dads boss found him at home with a gun about to commit suicide.
You are playing with Fire here and all the more so because you used to know Jehovah. If you think that you can get away with playing with the demons and not get hurt— you are not being realistic. Trouble awaits. You are being warned and if you don’t take that warning seriously then I don’t know what will happen to you.
Demonism in any form is very dangerous. I hate to see you go down this path. It is NOT innocent fun.
We love you very much and are very saddened that you think it’s ok to play Satanic games.
Mom
Yes it is still going, the Westboro Baptist church (maybe spelling is bad) is a hate group among other things.
Wow the article is even labelled 1982. Holy shite. If the writer saw kids playing GTA, he'd have a heart attack.
Hang in there bud. It can be rough when family doesn't understand.
"Sooner or later, your Players are going to smash your railroad into a sandbox."
-Vedexent
"real life is a super high CR."
-OboeLauren
"............anybody got any potatoes? We could drop a potato in each hole an' see which ones get viciously mauled by horrible monsters?"
-Ilyara Thundertale
I'm sorry. I've had a few raised eyebrows around here (small town, conservative midwest), and heard second hand about a couple of people who are/were concerned I was running a table at the library on a weekly basis. But nothing like this. And, in my case, it helps that I'm a pastor; a bit harder to make the "satanist" accusation against me.
Unfortunately, rational arguments aren't likely to get anywhere, as you seem to understand. Good for you on staying calm and non reactive.
Trying to Decide if DDB is for you? A few helpful threads: A Buyer's Guide to DDB; What I/We Bought and Why; How some DMs use DDB; A Newer Thread on Using DDB to Play
Helpful threads on other topics: Homebrew FAQ by IamSposta; Accessing Content by ConalTheGreat;
Check your entitlements here. | Support Ticket LInk
I was hoping this would be a how-to thread :(
"Not all those who wander are lost"
LOL you're a dirty man.
"Sooner or later, your Players are going to smash your railroad into a sandbox."
-Vedexent
"real life is a super high CR."
-OboeLauren
"............anybody got any potatoes? We could drop a potato in each hole an' see which ones get viciously mauled by horrible monsters?"
-Ilyara Thundertale
I've been playing D&D since the late '70's, so yeah...I lived through this nonsense the first time. ArwensDaughter is right - rational arguments aren't going to change your mom's mind. I can tell you all kinds of positive reasons for role-playing, how it has been a good thing in my life and in the lives of my friends and my own children. This isn't a game for everyone, but it's certainly not satanic. If you really want to piss off your mom, tell her that many of the spells actually come from biblical stories.
I run a D&D group in my church for middle and high school kids - to give them a safe place to learn this awesome game. I recognize that kids can use this game to explore their darker desires - it's a role-playing game! It's not the games fault - it's our broken, sinful nature.
FWIW, I think you are handling it the best you can with your mom - don't apologize, but let her know that you love her no matter what. =)
Love God. Love Others. Any Questions?
Wow. I think you lucked out. Consider this: you became rational, reasonable and logical while growing up with that; if I were you, I'd be grateful for that alone.
"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation."
― Oscar Wilde.
You are far more level-headed and sympathetic than I could hope to be in your position. My resentment would have been evident in my response, in the unlikely case that I replied at all.
Considering that between our two families yours is the crazier, it's weird that you ended up the more well-adjusted one.
Skiaceq - Lvl3 | Aarakocra | Monk - Hoard of the Dragon Queen
That really sucks, at least you're 30 and living on your own and not in your teens and living at home. I hope you're able to patch thing up with your mom at some point with out abandoning your hobby.
Just be glad that you turned out sane and rational, Sparlock.
My parents feel the same way. And I'm 36. Stay tough bud, maybe someday their eyes will be opened.
I use summon instrument to summon my kettle drum, hold it overhead like Donkey Kong, and chuck it at the nearest kobold.
Which century are we living in, again? Sometimes it's hard to tell.
There's very little in the way of advice I can offer. My childhood home is chock full of D&D paraphernalia, and my parents always considered the game to be among my more productive and social extracurricular pursuits. They also know that if they were to attempt to remove the old books I would send a pit fiend after them. All I can wish you is luck, and commend you for your courage. Upsetting family members is a hard thing to do, but they have no right to dictate your life, even if you actually wanted to become a real satanist.
You handled this the best way possible. You were understanding and didn’t engage in a back and forth argument because it will go nowhere at this point.
Maybe down the road she’ll be open to hearing what the game means to you and how it has affected you positively. The only advice I can give is to keep saying “I appreciate your concern and while it’s hurtful that you don’t want to see me, I’ll respect your wishes.”
Hopefully she’ll come around at some point. If she doesn’t, just know that you can choose your family. Having grown up in a really violent and harsh environment as a kid with a mother who didn’t love me, that’s a lesson I learned.
Family are the people who love you unconditionally and support you. You find parent-like support beyond the people who gave birth to you. Do your best to keep avoiding the guilt traps that may get laid out and surround yourself with positive people who care for you. A good counselor always help.
Im sorry you have to go through this, just know that others have been there and will support you.
I really appreciate the support and well wishes, and extend the same to those facing similar issues. I'm glad that I'm at a place in my life where I have the ability to choose to be honest and true to myself... and especially being able to live without the fear that the demons are waiting around every corner because I decide to play a particular tabletop game.
Although, to be honest, I feel a little cheated. What level do my characters have to get to before we learn to actually cast magic? I mean come on! My AL character can summon lesser demons and I haven't even learned my first Cantrip yet? This is ridiculous! XD
I think the Satanic Panic has definitely gone down over the years but it still exists. My friend's mom told him not to play at all.
A lot of it is being overshadowed by other stuff. I think (most) people are starting to realize it was never bad in the first place. Stuff like GTA, and other video games, as well as social media and the internet in general is the main concern. D&D in the 80s was getting a bad Rap, and now its stuff like increasing violent video games.
D&D was never bad in the first place, and it does pretty cool things for you. It majorly expanded my vocabulary and it definitely helps with creative thinking skills and problem solving.
Sorry to see your family so backwards. Hope you don't let that deter you.
Altrazin Aghanes - Wizard/Fighter
Varpulis Windhowl - Fighter
Skolson Demjon - Cleric/Fighter
Your response is to be commended. You have more patience than I. I've found that you can change some peoples mind by explaining that D&D is essentially interactive fiction, and that the group impacts the type of story that is created. If you are talking to someone who is against reading things like Harry Potter because it has magic in it, well you're out of luck. I work with people who think magic is real. In the 21st century!? It blows my mind. You're dealing with an emotional response, not a rational one. No amount of rational discussion will help. My Mom was panicked back in the 80's due to the media, but that has long since changed once she realized that it is all imagination and just like reading a book. I turned out fine. No family is normal, but sorry you have to put up with that.
Back in probably 1986 there was an older kid I used to play D&D with and one day he didn't have any of his stuff anymore. He told me he threw it all out. He had so much stuff. old books, modules, dice... I said he should have given it to me rather than throw it out and he told me he didn't want it corrupting my mind.
(it didn't help)
"Not all those who wander are lost"