Somehow get this stupid idea in your head that you can run a session with some friends.
Buy materials, spend a bunch of time preparing and honestly believing in yourself and that this is going to be a fun game. Read the manuals so that you can feel more confident in yourself and that youll be a helpful resource to your players (who haven't played before).
Listen to podcasts of successful sessions so you learn more about how to run yours and try to feel better about it.
2 weeks later: Its the day of your first session.
*Minor inconvenience (non-game related) happens*
Panic.
Remember vividly that time 5 years ago you tried to run an improv/comedy campaign for some close friends who were in your D&D group and it ended super poorly (in my opinion).
Become deathly afraid your own incompetency is going to ruin the time of these players and jade their impression of table-top RPGs.
Lay in bed staring at ceiling for over an hour.
Send cancellations to the players and feel even worse.
WTH is wrong with me, I attend games weekly as a player with no anxiety at all and ive absolutely ruined my first attempt at a structured game.
TL;DR: DOES ANYONE HAVE SOME ADVICE TO HELP SOMEONE LIKE ME NOT RUIN EVERYTHING????
You may benefit from a "session zero" - just getting together with your players to talk about the campaign, character ideas, play style and other stuff in an informal way. This usually helps build enthusiasm for the game and you can talk with them to make sure that the sort of thing you're planning to run is the game they want to play. Hopefully that will help with the self-doubt!
Sometimes I even run a short ten mins of solo game for each player as part of that session zero - just a key point from their background, or somethi8ng just before the first session.
I don't know how well you know the players in the group - are any of them good enough friends that you can confide in them about why the cancellation happened? They may be able to offer better advice, because they know you.
On the front of "The Hitchhiker's guide to the Galaxy" are two bold words... "Don't panic!" (as a side note, always know where your towel is as well :)
Of course, that's all easier said than done when panic sets in. I don't have much experience with that, but perhaps it was a bit of nervousness as well?
For your first session was it the start of a campaign or a one-shot? Perhaps start with a one-shot or something small and give yourself time, and and a way to ease yourself in.
Being a DM is supposed to be fun as well. Maybe it helps just to think that you and your friends are having a shared experience (ie like going to the movies, and then one spills a drink, and some amount of chagrin and comedy ensue, and you all end up laughing about it later).
Good luck!
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
"An' things ha' come to a pretty pass, ye ken, if people are going to leave stuff like that aroound where innocent people could accidentally smash the door doon and lever the bars aside and take the big chain off'f the cupboard and pick the lock and drink it!"
Somehow get this stupid idea in your head that you can run a session with some friends.
Buy materials, spend a bunch of time preparing and honestly believing in yourself and that this is going to be a fun game. Read the manuals so that you can feel more confident in yourself and that youll be a helpful resource to your players (who haven't played before).
Listen to podcasts of successful sessions so you learn more about how to run yours and try to feel better about it.
2 weeks later: Its the day of your first session.
*Minor inconvenience (non-game related) happens*
Panic.
Remember vividly that time 5 years ago you tried to run an improv/comedy campaign for some close friends who were in your D&D group and it ended super poorly (in my opinion).
Become deathly afraid your own incompetency is going to ruin the time of these players and jade their impression of table-top RPGs.
Lay in bed staring at ceiling for over an hour.
Send cancellations to the players and feel even worse.
WTH is wrong with me, I attend games weekly as a player with no anxiety at all and ive absolutely ruined my first attempt at a structured game.
TL;DR: DOES ANYONE HAVE SOME ADVICE TO HELP SOMEONE LIKE ME NOT RUIN EVERYTHING????
I had a lot of anxiety going into my first session as a DM. I spent almost two weeks watching Critical Role, and watching "How to DM" videos on Youtube. I half heartedly suggested to my friends that "I think I can do this." and they went down their own respected rabbit holes of who they want to be and how they want to play. When our first meet up happened I almost wanted to cancel, but I'm so glad I didn't.
As for me, I think I made 3 bullet points to remember in my head that helped me get through it. (I'm still VERY new, but hopefully my advice can help.)
1) The game is MEANT to be fun. Don't let the rules or dice roles get in the way of that.
2) If you get stuck, and it takes more than 5 minutes to look up a rule, just simplify it to something you and your players will understand. Make a note of it, and research it later. You can correct the rules afterwards and adjust for further campaigns.
3) Plan ahead, but expect to pivot.
Also, like others suggested, I STRONGLY suggest doing a Session 0. It's a great opportunity for the PC's to get into the groove of who they want to be, and understand what they can and can't do. Keep Session 0 leisurely. Have some food and munchies set out. Have a beer or two if you're of age. (During my session 0 I made a house rule that stipulated the only way to heal your character in game is to have a shot of whisky IRL. After the first battle, we all were tipsy and didn't care about anything after that, we just had fun.)
Also remember that each session will run smoother than the last. I really hope you can work past your anxiety and do this. It's a rush kind of akin to being in theater, only you have friends around instead of strangers. DnD has become a really fun thing that myself and my friends all look forward too at the end of the week now. It's a place where we can actually leave all our anxieties behind and focus on just a fun story and allow some escapism. Keep us posted on your journey, I"d love to hear how your first session goes!
Oh, one final edit: Don't compare your own session and DM'ing style to anyone elses. I think every DM runs a game a different way (At least in their heads.) You'r not going to be a Matt Mercer, and you're not going to be a Gary Gygax. Be your own self, the absolutely worst thing that can happen is that you realize DMing isn't for you and you go back to being a PC. You're the god of your own world, have fun!
The thing I always remember is this, "The only wrong way to play D&D, is to not play at all"
Literally anything and everything can happen at the table, but the relieving fact should be that once you leave the gaming table no dice roll or rule decision will be what people remember (ok maybe a cool crit or something, but I digress) the game is about the memories, the story, and the fun you have.
The first game I ever ran turned sideways quick with players who were up way to late, and on far too many energy drinks and coffee, at one point during the session I allowed the half ogre fighter to surf a lava wave using the wildshaped druids body. It was the weirdest, most "rules wrong" thing that I have ever had happen in a game, and yet its also still the story that player goes to when he wants to tell a funny DND moment.
You know, after every single session I run, there's always that nagging doubt that says "No-one actually wants to play, they're just being polite," or "I'm just not good enough to run this game," or "There's no way they're going to have fun next time."
It sucks, but so far, whenever I see my D&D friends (like during a board game night last Thursday), they're the ones who say "We can't wait to find out what happens next," or talk to me about how their character is progressing. Or, when I call the session, everyone starts talking about what just happened!
It's ok to be anxious, but you have so got this!
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Sir, the possibility of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately 3,720 to 1!
There's a lot that goes into DMing, it's overwhelming at first, but that shouldn't stop you from playing.
First, as everyone has said, a session 0 is paramount to getting the game started. This will help you and your players immensely since it will open lines of communication and expose the expectations that everyone has. You want to run "the perfect game" for your friends and that is admirable, however the first game is always the hardest and most awkward, even for the veterans out there. Ask your players what they want from a game, is it a dungeon crawl, is it a sprawling adventure, do they want to run a mystery style game, and so forth. Explain that you are stepping outside your comfort zone, this will help the players understand the slow start that you may have. Discuss what you want from your players while you DM; no electronics, someone else brings the munchies, you're using 4d6 drop the lowest for attributes, and so forth. Talk to your players about, and have your players discuss, the characters they are building. You'd be surprised at how much stress this one act can remove from the game going forward.
Relax and enjoy the game, not the rules. Your players do something that you don't know how to resolve, it happens every game, multiple times, and you'll freeze because there's no easy ruling. Don't let that stop you, go with your gut reaction, more often than not you'll do just fine. Sometimes a player will express discontent or confusion, listen to them, then stick to, or adjust, your ruling based on that input. Keep notes so you can remain consistent or review your ruling and move forward with the game, don't stall out debating things, generally erring in favor of your players will keep things going smoothly. If you don't know the answer, if you're stuck, just admit it and ask for a moment, players are usually pretty cool about it and will just let you do your thing. They want to play, they're not there to attack or demean you.
Play a few modules before you create your own homebrew epic. As we get into the game, every one of us wants to spin an epic tale, but it's not a good idea if you're just starting as player or DM. Modules come with lots of information, suggestions, stat blocks, maps, and all the other tools necessary for a game, just add players. You won't have to worry about how to make the next session work, it's already spelled out for you. This will also help you nail down the rules of the game, the play style of your players, and give you an idea of pace as well as structure. It's less stressful, and most of the modules are a blast to play.
The first step is the hardest, but the DM role is the most rewarding position in my opinion. With today's social media, the forums, and all the other places you can go for help, you'll never be far from getting answers to your questions. All those streams, videos, podcasts, etc. will give you ideas, but they are not something that you should use to compare yourself to. Instead you should strive to make yourself better as each session happens. Today will be a better game than yesterday, than last week, than the first time you played. That is the mind frame you should have, since the only person you need to compare yourself to is you.
Take a deep breath, and dive in, you'll find a rewarding and empowering experience on the other side! Welcome to being a DM!
You may benefit from a "session zero" - just getting together with your players to talk about the campaign, character ideas, play style and other stuff in an informal way. This usually helps build enthusiasm for the game and you can talk with them to make sure that the sort of thing you're planning to run is the game they want to play. Hopefully that will help with the self-doubt!
Sometimes I even run a short ten mins of solo game for each player as part of that session zero - just a key point from their background, or somethi8ng just before the first session.
I don't know how well you know the players in the group - are any of them good enough friends that you can confide in them about why the cancellation happened? They may be able to offer better advice, because they know you.
Good luck - you got this!
I truly also encourage you to do a session zero.
What you deal with is real. I understand that. The fact you are wanting to again to try this goes a long way. If you have been playing with this group for a while they may already know you have a problem with change. The session zero will be your warm up to the start of your game.
Another point to remember. Almost all DM's have made mistakes at some point. When I first DM'd I actually was so bad the players fired me and gave the game back to our original DM. Just remember...it is a process. Getting up and going to work some days is a process. Take it one secession at a time and take player criticism as a good thing. Learn and move forward.
Treat DMing like teaching a child to use an escalator. At first it is scary and mind numbing. After the first 50 tries at it .... it doesn't seem so scary. At some point you will forget your fear and find yourself actually enjoying yourself.
I've actually had this issue too... I do agree that having a session zero would help.
Now how I came over my anxiety is that after failing at my first session. I actually was recommended by my players (two of which were my previous DM's) that I could run a number of quick one shots and dungeon runs until I became confident enough to actually run a campaign of my own. It was a slow crawl and I still do have those occasional panic fits, but it is much better than it was before. Just don't try to over do it man.
Very first thing is to tell your players that you cancelled because you were not prepared. Don't let your players wonder why you cancelled the session. Let them know what happened for real. Just tell them that you paniced. They will understand. If session zero is not done yet ask your players to gather around same table for session zero.
A lot of great things have been mentioned so far. One thing that I would suggest is to start small, not in the sense of the campaign length/intricacy, but with the actual number of people. Pick one player that you're most comfortable with, and run something with just them. It could be a scenario where they play multiple characters themselves, one character with a supporting NPC or two (under your control), or just a simple one character thing; whatever matches up with your initial level of comfort.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
You don't know what fear is until you've witnessed a drunk bird divebombing you while carrying a screaming Kobold throwing fire anywhere and everywhere.
Sorry to hear about how your mental health struggles have influenced your desire to DM. You're not alone in dealing with things like this at all.
One thing you can try is called emersion therapy. Basically do what you have been doing. The good news is that after you've done your first session you'll feel much more comfortable and confident. You just need to get through that first one. You've already done a lot right by listening to sessions and doing the research. The next thing you could do is practice with yourself going through the session as DM and player. Play as if you would normally. Then switch hats and be the DM. Then back to the player. Then talk to a trusted friend and so a session with just him or her. It could be quick or a full session. Basically just take small steps. I recently did this with rock climbing. I was terrified! I started with watching videos and other people climbing, worked myself up to bouldering, took a class and now I'm out climbing about once a week!
Also understand that your thoughts are just thoughts. They don't control you and you have the power to not let them influence your behavior. What is the worst thing that could happen? How likely is it that will happen? Is that really so bad? Are you being realistic and fair with yourself? The good news is that you're not going to ruin everything.
People that struggle with mental health have incredible strength and are often very kind and compassionate people. I bet that's you. What would you say to a person who was saying these same things you're saying to yourself to someone you cared about? What would you say to someone who said it was a stupid idea for him or her to think they could run a session? How would you respond to this post? Try to same turn that same level of compassion to yourself.
It's ok to struggle and it's even ok to fail. Strength comes from accepting that is ok. Then try anyway.
either an interested friend or maybe a DM from another table.
working with another person will really help you share the load and build confidence.
as for what co-DMing is, well it varys from shadowing a specific DM to dividing the tasks and responsibilities with a partner to any other way you wanna do it.
one more thought; don't be too hard an yourself, your friends want play with you... that is already a success in my books
Sorry for not responding. I was nervous about looking at the responses but these are all really great ideas and I intend to use them.
So far, I've convinced my partner to give me one night a week to use her for practice sessions which has been really helpful... luckily for me the group I cancelled on were all friends so they understood and are going to wait until I feel ready to take the plunge.
I'm going to do a few more practice sessions and then set up a session zero as advised, it had been 5 years since my last attempt at running a game and let me tell you, I needed the practice, im so glad my partner is A) actually into the game and B) willing to do solo sessions and give me feedback, which is important because for some reason I dont take criticism coming from her so personally and instead act like a normal person about it and factor it into my play.
I was that DM that would over-explain everything.. I am an analyst IRL so fine details are basically my life, I was pretty ignorant to other people finding it to be too much and will instead wait for people to ask for more detail going forward so thats a good learning point.
Again, thanks for your support. This is a very heart warming community and im grateful for that.
You could introduce one other person to the game you and your partner are doing instead of jumping from that to a full group. It's way easier to run a game with two players than with three or more.
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Be me; have social-anxiety and be introverted.
Somehow get this stupid idea in your head that you can run a session with some friends.
Buy materials, spend a bunch of time preparing and honestly believing in yourself and that this is going to be a fun game. Read the manuals so that you can feel more confident in yourself and that youll be a helpful resource to your players (who haven't played before).
Listen to podcasts of successful sessions so you learn more about how to run yours and try to feel better about it.
2 weeks later: Its the day of your first session.
*Minor inconvenience (non-game related) happens*
Panic.
Remember vividly that time 5 years ago you tried to run an improv/comedy campaign for some close friends who were in your D&D group and it ended super poorly (in my opinion).
Become deathly afraid your own incompetency is going to ruin the time of these players and jade their impression of table-top RPGs.
Lay in bed staring at ceiling for over an hour.
Send cancellations to the players and feel even worse.
WTH is wrong with me, I attend games weekly as a player with no anxiety at all and ive absolutely ruined my first attempt at a structured game.
TL;DR: DOES ANYONE HAVE SOME ADVICE TO HELP SOMEONE LIKE ME NOT RUIN EVERYTHING????
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D&D Beyond FoundersHi there,
that sounds like an awful experience for you.
You may benefit from a "session zero" - just getting together with your players to talk about the campaign, character ideas, play style and other stuff in an informal way. This usually helps build enthusiasm for the game and you can talk with them to make sure that the sort of thing you're planning to run is the game they want to play. Hopefully that will help with the self-doubt!
Sometimes I even run a short ten mins of solo game for each player as part of that session zero - just a key point from their background, or somethi8ng just before the first session.
I don't know how well you know the players in the group - are any of them good enough friends that you can confide in them about why the cancellation happened? They may be able to offer better advice, because they know you.
Good luck - you got this!
Pun-loving nerd | Faith Elisabeth Lilley | She/Her/Hers | Profile art by Becca Golins
If you need help with homebrew, please post on the homebrew forums, where multiple staff and moderators can read your post and help you!
"We got this, no problem! I'll take the twenty on the left - you guys handle the one on the right!"🔊
On the front of "The Hitchhiker's guide to the Galaxy" are two bold words... "Don't panic!" (as a side note, always know where your towel is as well :)
Of course, that's all easier said than done when panic sets in. I don't have much experience with that, but perhaps it was a bit of nervousness as well?
For your first session was it the start of a campaign or a one-shot? Perhaps start with a one-shot or something small and give yourself time, and and a way to ease yourself in.
Being a DM is supposed to be fun as well. Maybe it helps just to think that you and your friends are having a shared experience (ie like going to the movies, and then one spills a drink, and some amount of chagrin and comedy ensue, and you all end up laughing about it later).
Good luck!
"An' things ha' come to a pretty pass, ye ken, if people are going to leave stuff like that aroound where innocent people could accidentally smash the door doon and lever the bars aside and take the big chain off'f the cupboard and pick the lock and drink it!"
I had a lot of anxiety going into my first session as a DM. I spent almost two weeks watching Critical Role, and watching "How to DM" videos on Youtube. I half heartedly suggested to my friends that "I think I can do this." and they went down their own respected rabbit holes of who they want to be and how they want to play. When our first meet up happened I almost wanted to cancel, but I'm so glad I didn't.
As for me, I think I made 3 bullet points to remember in my head that helped me get through it. (I'm still VERY new, but hopefully my advice can help.)
1) The game is MEANT to be fun. Don't let the rules or dice roles get in the way of that.
2) If you get stuck, and it takes more than 5 minutes to look up a rule, just simplify it to something you and your players will understand. Make a note of it, and research it later. You can correct the rules afterwards and adjust for further campaigns.
3) Plan ahead, but expect to pivot.
Also, like others suggested, I STRONGLY suggest doing a Session 0. It's a great opportunity for the PC's to get into the groove of who they want to be, and understand what they can and can't do. Keep Session 0 leisurely. Have some food and munchies set out. Have a beer or two if you're of age. (During my session 0 I made a house rule that stipulated the only way to heal your character in game is to have a shot of whisky IRL. After the first battle, we all were tipsy and didn't care about anything after that, we just had fun.)
Also remember that each session will run smoother than the last. I really hope you can work past your anxiety and do this. It's a rush kind of akin to being in theater, only you have friends around instead of strangers. DnD has become a really fun thing that myself and my friends all look forward too at the end of the week now. It's a place where we can actually leave all our anxieties behind and focus on just a fun story and allow some escapism. Keep us posted on your journey, I"d love to hear how your first session goes!
Oh, one final edit: Don't compare your own session and DM'ing style to anyone elses. I think every DM runs a game a different way (At least in their heads.) You'r not going to be a Matt Mercer, and you're not going to be a Gary Gygax. Be your own self, the absolutely worst thing that can happen is that you realize DMing isn't for you and you go back to being a PC. You're the god of your own world, have fun!
Being a DM can be stressful. Don't be too hard on yourself. You will make mistakes. It's ok.
I would play at your table :)
"Not all those who wander are lost"
The thing I always remember is this, "The only wrong way to play D&D, is to not play at all"
Literally anything and everything can happen at the table, but the relieving fact should be that once you leave the gaming table no dice roll or rule decision will be what people remember (ok maybe a cool crit or something, but I digress) the game is about the memories, the story, and the fun you have.
The first game I ever ran turned sideways quick with players who were up way to late, and on far too many energy drinks and coffee, at one point during the session I allowed the half ogre fighter to surf a lava wave using the wildshaped druids body. It was the weirdest, most "rules wrong" thing that I have ever had happen in a game, and yet its also still the story that player goes to when he wants to tell a funny DND moment.
You know, after every single session I run, there's always that nagging doubt that says "No-one actually wants to play, they're just being polite," or "I'm just not good enough to run this game," or "There's no way they're going to have fun next time."
It sucks, but so far, whenever I see my D&D friends (like during a board game night last Thursday), they're the ones who say "We can't wait to find out what happens next," or talk to me about how their character is progressing. Or, when I call the session, everyone starts talking about what just happened!
It's ok to be anxious, but you have so got this!
Sir, the possibility of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately 3,720 to 1!
Never tell me the DC.
There's a lot that goes into DMing, it's overwhelming at first, but that shouldn't stop you from playing.
First, as everyone has said, a session 0 is paramount to getting the game started. This will help you and your players immensely since it will open lines of communication and expose the expectations that everyone has. You want to run "the perfect game" for your friends and that is admirable, however the first game is always the hardest and most awkward, even for the veterans out there. Ask your players what they want from a game, is it a dungeon crawl, is it a sprawling adventure, do they want to run a mystery style game, and so forth. Explain that you are stepping outside your comfort zone, this will help the players understand the slow start that you may have. Discuss what you want from your players while you DM; no electronics, someone else brings the munchies, you're using 4d6 drop the lowest for attributes, and so forth. Talk to your players about, and have your players discuss, the characters they are building. You'd be surprised at how much stress this one act can remove from the game going forward.
Relax and enjoy the game, not the rules. Your players do something that you don't know how to resolve, it happens every game, multiple times, and you'll freeze because there's no easy ruling. Don't let that stop you, go with your gut reaction, more often than not you'll do just fine. Sometimes a player will express discontent or confusion, listen to them, then stick to, or adjust, your ruling based on that input. Keep notes so you can remain consistent or review your ruling and move forward with the game, don't stall out debating things, generally erring in favor of your players will keep things going smoothly. If you don't know the answer, if you're stuck, just admit it and ask for a moment, players are usually pretty cool about it and will just let you do your thing. They want to play, they're not there to attack or demean you.
Play a few modules before you create your own homebrew epic. As we get into the game, every one of us wants to spin an epic tale, but it's not a good idea if you're just starting as player or DM. Modules come with lots of information, suggestions, stat blocks, maps, and all the other tools necessary for a game, just add players. You won't have to worry about how to make the next session work, it's already spelled out for you. This will also help you nail down the rules of the game, the play style of your players, and give you an idea of pace as well as structure. It's less stressful, and most of the modules are a blast to play.
The first step is the hardest, but the DM role is the most rewarding position in my opinion. With today's social media, the forums, and all the other places you can go for help, you'll never be far from getting answers to your questions. All those streams, videos, podcasts, etc. will give you ideas, but they are not something that you should use to compare yourself to. Instead you should strive to make yourself better as each session happens. Today will be a better game than yesterday, than last week, than the first time you played. That is the mind frame you should have, since the only person you need to compare yourself to is you.
Take a deep breath, and dive in, you'll find a rewarding and empowering experience on the other side! Welcome to being a DM!
I truly also encourage you to do a session zero.
What you deal with is real. I understand that. The fact you are wanting to again to try this goes a long way. If you have been playing with this group for a while they may already know you have a problem with change. The session zero will be your warm up to the start of your game.
Another point to remember. Almost all DM's have made mistakes at some point. When I first DM'd I actually was so bad the players fired me and gave the game back to our original DM. Just remember...it is a process. Getting up and going to work some days is a process. Take it one secession at a time and take player criticism as a good thing. Learn and move forward.
Treat DMing like teaching a child to use an escalator. At first it is scary and mind numbing. After the first 50 tries at it .... it doesn't seem so scary. At some point you will forget your fear and find yourself actually enjoying yourself.
As above....
YOU GOT THIS!
SW
I've actually had this issue too... I do agree that having a session zero would help.
Now how I came over my anxiety is that after failing at my first session. I actually was recommended by my players (two of which were my previous DM's) that I could run a number of quick one shots and dungeon runs until I became confident enough to actually run a campaign of my own. It was a slow crawl and I still do have those occasional panic fits, but it is much better than it was before. Just don't try to over do it man.
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Very first thing is to tell your players that you cancelled because you were not prepared. Don't let your players wonder why you cancelled the session. Let them know what happened for real. Just tell them that you paniced. They will understand. If session zero is not done yet ask your players to gather around same table for session zero.
You are seen. You are not alone.
A lot of great things have been mentioned so far. One thing that I would suggest is to start small, not in the sense of the campaign length/intricacy, but with the actual number of people. Pick one player that you're most comfortable with, and run something with just them. It could be a scenario where they play multiple characters themselves, one character with a supporting NPC or two (under your control), or just a simple one character thing; whatever matches up with your initial level of comfort.
You don't know what fear is until you've witnessed a drunk bird divebombing you while carrying a screaming Kobold throwing fire anywhere and everywhere.
Sorry to hear about how your mental health struggles have influenced your desire to DM. You're not alone in dealing with things like this at all.
One thing you can try is called emersion therapy. Basically do what you have been doing. The good news is that after you've done your first session you'll feel much more comfortable and confident. You just need to get through that first one. You've already done a lot right by listening to sessions and doing the research. The next thing you could do is practice with yourself going through the session as DM and player. Play as if you would normally. Then switch hats and be the DM. Then back to the player. Then talk to a trusted friend and so a session with just him or her. It could be quick or a full session. Basically just take small steps. I recently did this with rock climbing. I was terrified! I started with watching videos and other people climbing, worked myself up to bouldering, took a class and now I'm out climbing about once a week!
Also understand that your thoughts are just thoughts. They don't control you and you have the power to not let them influence your behavior. What is the worst thing that could happen? How likely is it that will happen? Is that really so bad? Are you being realistic and fair with yourself? The good news is that you're not going to ruin everything.
People that struggle with mental health have incredible strength and are often very kind and compassionate people. I bet that's you. What would you say to a person who was saying these same things you're saying to yourself to someone you cared about? What would you say to someone who said it was a stupid idea for him or her to think they could run a session? How would you respond to this post? Try to same turn that same level of compassion to yourself.
It's ok to struggle and it's even ok to fail. Strength comes from accepting that is ok. Then try anyway.
perhaps you can find/select a co-DM.
either an interested friend or maybe a DM from another table.
working with another person will really help you share the load and build confidence.
as for what co-DMing is, well it varys from shadowing a specific DM to dividing the tasks and responsibilities with a partner to any other way you wanna do it.
one more thought; don't be too hard an yourself, your friends want play with you... that is already a success in my books
Jesus Saves!... Everyone else takes damage.
My advice for new DM's:
Hey donotwant, how are you feeling?
"Not all those who wander are lost"
Popped in to ask this same question. Hope the OP is doing well and would love to hear an update.
Hi
Sorry for not responding. I was nervous about looking at the responses but these are all really great ideas and I intend to use them.
So far, I've convinced my partner to give me one night a week to use her for practice sessions which has been really helpful... luckily for me the group I cancelled on were all friends so they understood and are going to wait until I feel ready to take the plunge.
I'm going to do a few more practice sessions and then set up a session zero as advised, it had been 5 years since my last attempt at running a game and let me tell you, I needed the practice, im so glad my partner is A) actually into the game and B) willing to do solo sessions and give me feedback, which is important because for some reason I dont take criticism coming from her so personally and instead act like a normal person about it and factor it into my play.
I was that DM that would over-explain everything.. I am an analyst IRL so fine details are basically my life, I was pretty ignorant to other people finding it to be too much and will instead wait for people to ask for more detail going forward so thats a good learning point.
Again, thanks for your support. This is a very heart warming community and im grateful for that.
I’m happy you’re part of the community. Take your time and do this at your own pace. We support you.
"Not all those who wander are lost"
You could introduce one other person to the game you and your partner are doing instead of jumping from that to a full group. It's way easier to run a game with two players than with three or more.