My group is 4 players and me. We just got off a very info-dump session where they met the BBEG. I have 2 players that interact very heavily and loudly and forcefully. I have 1 player that interacts over them when it suits him. I have 1 player that doesn't interact unless interacted with. The players talk over each other and the character dynamic is strained. I don't want to tell them how to play the game but they were talking to a god and they all stumbled over each other trying to talk to him that the quiet player didn't even know she was there. She's usually paying attention and quiet, so I didn't know she didn't know what was going on. It was so bad that she said it might as well be her last session since she's not needed for major plot points.
One player is mad because I didn't give him a special "Find Steed," and one is mad because he feels I kept him specifically from getting a magical object.
It was a very stressful night. I see a difficult conversation coming up where I have to tell everyone to be mindful of other players and to stop being ten-year-olds hopped up on cake. Does anyone have any tips on how to have an adult conversation about this with my players? Or any tips on how to keep the table fun and orderly?
that being said; you can use your players wants and needs to suit your prepared content.
find steed could have a "speak to a local god" component. or a magic item that one person is after becomes available through a quest that reveals the item to be somehow tied to the BBEG.
all this can be hard to come up with on the fly but at the end of the day you need the players to be interested in what you present and mindful of any consequences they could incur, don't worry too much you will learn with each session
one thought might be to roll persuasion, insight etc with disadvantage because their characters are acting like a bunch of 10 year olds in front of a BBEG
Simply pointing out the mishaps of the last session should be a great way to start the conversation off. First, approach it with a neutral stance, non-combative, and don't place blame on any one person, everyone made mistakes. Secondly, it's a conversation, you're trying to resolve something that each person at the table had issues with, and the table as a whole needs to work on, so talk and listen both. Finally, don't wait until after the damage is done to correct poor behavior, table etiquette is a constant and everyone needs a reminder here and there. There's nothing wrong with exuberant players and sessions, sometimes we forget ourselves and just get tunnel vision, time to make a mention of table etiquette.
Your player who's a mouse and feels like they're unnecessary has to feel like their voice is heard. Something as simple as asking that character, by name, what they're doing/saying/etc. can go a long way. It may also help to create situations where that character is the only one who can accomplish a certain task, be it talking to a necessary NPC or helping save the rest of the party from the town guards. It's also important that you look at the rest of the table and ask them to wait their turn, if this player is non-confrontational and needs help getting heard, you are there to facilitate that.
As to the players who are upset because they didn't get a new toy, that's something that doesn't need to be stressed over greatly. Explain to them your decision, why you chose not to give them their toy and move on. Even something as simple as "You haven't earned it in the god's eyes yet." is usually enough to get the players to calm down a bit. Sometimes you have to assert your position as DM, even more so when players try to bully you or throw tantrums because they didn't get what they wanted. Give them hints, not flat out explanations, as to why they may not have received their new toys, it may prompt them to take the issue in game rather than to you.
In the end, if you want an adult conversation, be an adult. If you want something to change, talk about it. The best way to resolve anything is open communication. My last session was a rough one with a lot of miscommunication and misunderstanding, but once people started asking questions, it all cleared up. The ability to discuss anything, be heard, and come to some sort of resolution will go a long way with correcting behaviors, engaging players, and calming folks down at the table.
My group is 4 players and me. We just got off a very info-dump session where they met the BBEG. I have 2 players that interact very heavily and loudly and forcefully. I have 1 player that interacts over them when it suits him. I have 1 player that doesn't interact unless interacted with. The players talk over each other and the character dynamic is strained. I don't want to tell them how to play the game but they were talking to a god and they all stumbled over each other trying to talk to him that the quiet player didn't even know she was there. She's usually paying attention and quiet, so I didn't know she didn't know what was going on. It was so bad that she said it might as well be her last session since she's not needed for major plot points.
One player is mad because I didn't give him a special "Find Steed," and one is mad because he feels I kept him specifically from getting a magical object.
It was a very stressful night. I see a difficult conversation coming up where I have to tell everyone to be mindful of other players and to stop being ten-year-olds hopped up on cake. Does anyone have any tips on how to have an adult conversation about this with my players? Or any tips on how to keep the table fun and orderly?
in general you can't change others...
that being said; you can use your players wants and needs to suit your prepared content.
find steed could have a "speak to a local god" component. or a magic item that one person is after becomes available through a quest that reveals the item to be somehow tied to the BBEG.
all this can be hard to come up with on the fly but at the end of the day you need the players to be interested in what you present and mindful of any consequences they could incur, don't worry too much you will learn with each session
one thought might be to roll persuasion, insight etc with disadvantage because their characters are acting like a bunch of 10 year olds in front of a BBEG
good luck
Jesus Saves!... Everyone else takes damage.
Maybe you want to look at it from a different angle.
Zipperon Disney is quickly becoming one of my favorite DM advice channels, he has a video on How to Run an Engaging Session, and How to make D&D Combat Flow.
Both may be helpful in your situation.
More Interesting Lock Picking Rules
Simply pointing out the mishaps of the last session should be a great way to start the conversation off. First, approach it with a neutral stance, non-combative, and don't place blame on any one person, everyone made mistakes. Secondly, it's a conversation, you're trying to resolve something that each person at the table had issues with, and the table as a whole needs to work on, so talk and listen both. Finally, don't wait until after the damage is done to correct poor behavior, table etiquette is a constant and everyone needs a reminder here and there. There's nothing wrong with exuberant players and sessions, sometimes we forget ourselves and just get tunnel vision, time to make a mention of table etiquette.
Your player who's a mouse and feels like they're unnecessary has to feel like their voice is heard. Something as simple as asking that character, by name, what they're doing/saying/etc. can go a long way. It may also help to create situations where that character is the only one who can accomplish a certain task, be it talking to a necessary NPC or helping save the rest of the party from the town guards. It's also important that you look at the rest of the table and ask them to wait their turn, if this player is non-confrontational and needs help getting heard, you are there to facilitate that.
As to the players who are upset because they didn't get a new toy, that's something that doesn't need to be stressed over greatly. Explain to them your decision, why you chose not to give them their toy and move on. Even something as simple as "You haven't earned it in the god's eyes yet." is usually enough to get the players to calm down a bit. Sometimes you have to assert your position as DM, even more so when players try to bully you or throw tantrums because they didn't get what they wanted. Give them hints, not flat out explanations, as to why they may not have received their new toys, it may prompt them to take the issue in game rather than to you.
In the end, if you want an adult conversation, be an adult. If you want something to change, talk about it. The best way to resolve anything is open communication. My last session was a rough one with a lot of miscommunication and misunderstanding, but once people started asking questions, it all cleared up. The ability to discuss anything, be heard, and come to some sort of resolution will go a long way with correcting behaviors, engaging players, and calming folks down at the table.