After some discussion with a couple of friends, we had this idea for a cleric which sacrifices its own health for healing others. This is my first real attempt to a solid homebrew subclass, so please be gentle ... it could be complete crap or entirely OP, I'm not sure.
Some highlights of the class are that it can use Hit Dice as a resource, and I borrowed the idea behind the Redemption Paladin's aura and a Pathfinder Oracle class feature one of my friend's made me aware of. The core base is built a little off the Life Cleric for the healing and junk.
Thanks to Djinn_in_Tonic of Reddit (great name), for the suggestions on some of the abilities.
Changed Penitent Vitality to do a reroll of healing when below a certain threshold.
Made Penitence a bonus action, may consider adding a limiter to it down the road.
Added the ability to take willing take damage, while still utilizing your Hit Dice as a resource, to transfer into healing.
Removed the second portion of Thicker than Water to utilize something akin to the World of Warcraft Leap of Faith, but with a swap mechanic to it. Unsure if it should truly swap or be a direct pull of the WoW ability.
Penitent Vitality and Life Line are identical. In Penitent Vitality what does the phrase "bonded ally takes one additional amount equal to your proficiency bonus" mean? Is the bond only to a willing creature? If not, saying a "bonded ally" would be incorrect.
Instead of using your proficiency bonus for Channel Divinity: Penitence, I would suggest your Wisdom modifier.
"The relevant equation is: Knowledge = power = energy = matter = mass; a good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read." - Terry Pratchett
[A] Penitent Vitality and Life Line are identical. [B] In Penitent Vitality what does the phrase "bonded ally takes one additional amount equal to your proficiency bonus" mean? [C] Is the bond only to a willing creature? If not, saying a "bonded ally" would be incorrect.
[A] Apparently my copy and pasting screwed something up between my Google Doc and Homebrewery. Penitent Vitality is supposed to just give extra health and add a bonus to healing when you're below half health, it has been recopied correctly. (also answers your last point) [B] That actually isn't part of Penitent Vitality, this has been corrected. It's part of Life Line, which has also been corrected. It's simply supposed to be an additional amount of healing which equals your Prof. Bonus. [C] The idea behind the bond is that is only to your party members. So it would be one willing creature, or one non-hostile creature maybe? Since the bond gives the ability to remove damage and bolster healing, you wouldn't want to give it to anyone outside of your party. Given the extra detail, what would be the best way to word that?
Instead of using your proficiency bonus for Channel Divinity: Penitence, I would suggest your Wisdom modifier.
I've been back and forth on that. Part of me just didn't want it to be the same as the rest of the features that already use the Wisdom modifier, but a larger part of me still feels that it just makes more sense.
For Life Link, when are these hit points gained?
I think I need some clarification on what hit points you're referencing? I'm adding hit dice at with Life Link, just to the pool of hit dice. It doesn't actually add any health, it is meant to assist in the fact that your Hit Dice is now a resource to be expended during battle. This way clerics at tables which use hit dice at short rests aren't being punished for using them in battles.
The idea is intriguing, and I like your use of the Hit Dice as an active resource for a healer class.
Overall I think the features work pretty well, but you might want to give a look at the general wording of some of them, as it might come across as a bit confusing. I believe, i.e., that you meant to write "as per the Life Line feature" at the end of the "Life Link" feature description. Another example is the wording in Penitent Strike: "...when you hit a creature with a weapon attack, you can infuse that strike with divine energy." - does this mean that the damage the attack inflicts becomes radiant? or is this additional flavor text on top of the initial line? (I ask because I don't think I've seen flavor text following mechanical explanation on features, but I might be wrong :P) "The damage taken is also transferred into hit points for yourself or a bonded ally of your choice." - do you mean to say that the damage the cleric inflicts with this attack is the transferred? if so, shouldn't it be "The damage dealt..."?
Overall I like the class, though, so well done. :)
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Born in Italy, moved a bunch, living in Spain, my heart always belonged to Roleplaying Games
Great help, there LeK! I appreciate you taking the time to look at it, I know you're likely rather busy with your own homebrews and such.
Good call-outs on the verbiage, too. I condensed the flavor to one sentence in Penitent Strike, as the divine energy is only meant to describe the healing which is being transferred. And I fixed the typo in Line Link, as well. I'll probably not look at this over the weekend and come back to it for more grammar/verbiage checks. Some time away may help me forget what I knew I mean to say, and force me to read it with fresh eyes.
The worst part about this is that I won't be able to play it anytime soon. I am a bit of a forever DM, so I'll have to keep my ears open for the next time one of my players wants to try a Cleric - and then try to convince them to play one who hurts themselves!
Just an editing/clarity thing: for Thicker than Water "Once used, you cannot do this again until you complete a short rest.", should likely stipulate a long or short rest, rather than just a short rest as this is how most of the powers like it are worded. :)
After some discussion with a couple of friends, we had this idea for a cleric which sacrifices its own health for healing others. This is my first real attempt to a solid homebrew subclass, so please be gentle ... it could be complete crap or entirely OP, I'm not sure.
Some highlights of the class are that it can use Hit Dice as a resource, and I borrowed the idea behind the Redemption Paladin's aura and a Pathfinder Oracle class feature one of my friend's made me aware of. The core base is built a little off the Life Cleric for the healing and junk.
Without further stalling via digital text, here is the Domain of Sacrifice.
Change Log:
Thanks to Djinn_in_Tonic of Reddit (great name), for the suggestions on some of the abilities.
Penitent Vitality and Life Line are identical. In Penitent Vitality what does the phrase "bonded ally takes one additional amount equal to your proficiency bonus" mean? Is the bond only to a willing creature? If not, saying a "bonded ally" would be incorrect.
Instead of using your proficiency bonus for Channel Divinity: Penitence, I would suggest your Wisdom modifier.
For Life Link, when are these hit points gained?
In general, I would give something reminiscent of the the hill dwarf's dwarven toughness at first level.
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Astromancer's Homebrew Assembly
"The relevant equation is: Knowledge = power = energy = matter = mass; a good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read." - Terry Pratchett
[A] Apparently my copy and pasting screwed something up between my Google Doc and Homebrewery. Penitent Vitality is supposed to just give extra health and add a bonus to healing when you're below half health, it has been recopied correctly. (also answers your last point)
[B] That actually isn't part of Penitent Vitality, this has been corrected. It's part of Life Line, which has also been corrected. It's simply supposed to be an additional amount of healing which equals your Prof. Bonus.
[C] The idea behind the bond is that is only to your party members. So it would be one willing creature, or one non-hostile creature maybe? Since the bond gives the ability to remove damage and bolster healing, you wouldn't want to give it to anyone outside of your party. Given the extra detail, what would be the best way to word that?
I've been back and forth on that. Part of me just didn't want it to be the same as the rest of the features that already use the Wisdom modifier, but a larger part of me still feels that it just makes more sense.
I think I need some clarification on what hit points you're referencing? I'm adding hit dice at with Life Link, just to the pool of hit dice. It doesn't actually add any health, it is meant to assist in the fact that your Hit Dice is now a resource to be expended during battle. This way clerics at tables which use hit dice at short rests aren't being punished for using them in battles.
The idea is intriguing, and I like your use of the Hit Dice as an active resource for a healer class.
Overall I think the features work pretty well, but you might want to give a look at the general wording of some of them, as it might come across as a bit confusing.
I believe, i.e., that you meant to write "as per the Life Line feature" at the end of the "Life Link" feature description.
Another example is the wording in Penitent Strike:
"...when you hit a creature with a weapon attack, you can infuse that strike with divine energy." - does this mean that the damage the attack inflicts becomes radiant? or is this additional flavor text on top of the initial line? (I ask because I don't think I've seen flavor text following mechanical explanation on features, but I might be wrong :P)
"The damage taken is also transferred into hit points for yourself or a bonded ally of your choice." - do you mean to say that the damage the cleric inflicts with this attack is the transferred? if so, shouldn't it be "The damage dealt..."?
Overall I like the class, though, so well done. :)
Born in Italy, moved a bunch, living in Spain, my heart always belonged to Roleplaying Games
Great help, there LeK! I appreciate you taking the time to look at it, I know you're likely rather busy with your own homebrews and such.
Good call-outs on the verbiage, too. I condensed the flavor to one sentence in Penitent Strike, as the divine energy is only meant to describe the healing which is being transferred. And I fixed the typo in Line Link, as well. I'll probably not look at this over the weekend and come back to it for more grammar/verbiage checks. Some time away may help me forget what I knew I mean to say, and force me to read it with fresh eyes.
The worst part about this is that I won't be able to play it anytime soon. I am a bit of a forever DM, so I'll have to keep my ears open for the next time one of my players wants to try a Cleric - and then try to convince them to play one who hurts themselves!
Looks good.
Just an editing/clarity thing: for Thicker than Water "Once used, you cannot do this again until you complete a short rest.", should likely stipulate a long or short rest, rather than just a short rest as this is how most of the powers like it are worded. :)
- Loswaith
Good call. Kind of forgot about that last bit.
I am curious what people think of the spell list, as well. I tried to make it similar, but still distinct, from the Life domain list.