We're fighting four large spectral disembodied hands.
Player1: "I cast 'Chill Touch' and then challenge one of the hands to a thumb war."
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=========================== Laugh at life or life will laugh at you.
Current D&D Characters: Kromen Flintfist, Hill Dwarf Order of the Scribes Wizard/Armorer Artificer Eiphrok, Half-Orc Oath of Glory Paladin/Draconic Bloodline Sorcerer
We're fighting four large spectral disembodied hands.
Player1: "I cast 'Chill Touch' and then challenge one of the hands to a thumb war."
One, Two, Three, Four.
I declare a thumb war.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Life is very busy unfortunately, gone from most Pbp's indefinitely. If you'd like to contact me, I am on Discord at GreatAxeblade#7595, always happy to chat :)
We're fighting four large spectral disembodied hands.
Player1: "I cast 'Chill Touch' and then challenge one of the hands to a thumb war."
One, Two, Three, Four.
I declare a thumb war.
5, 6, 7, 8
Try to keep your finger straight.
(Instantly pins the opponents thumb down)
9, 10, 11, 12
What the frick rhymes with twelve?
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Life is very busy unfortunately, gone from most Pbp's indefinitely. If you'd like to contact me, I am on Discord at GreatAxeblade#7595, always happy to chat :)
We're fighting four large spectral disembodied hands.
Player1: "I cast 'Chill Touch' and then challenge one of the hands to a thumb war."
One, Two, Three, Four.
I declare a thumb war.
5, 6, 7, 8
Try to keep your finger straight.
(Instantly pins the opponents thumb down)
9, 10, 11, 12
What the frick rhymes with twelve?
Into the earth dwarves tend to delve?
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Pronouns: he/him/his.
My posting scheduled is irregular: sometimes I can post twice a week, sometimes twice a day. I may also respond to quick questions, but ignore harder responses in favor of time.
My location is where my character for my home game is (we're doing the wild beyond the witchlight).
"The Doomvault... Probably full of unicorns and rainbows." -An imaginary quote
paraphrased from a pair of live streams at cons in the Before Times, both by the same group
*after some puzzles and traps* DM: At the end of the hall, you see an ordinary door. Party: "Whoa, whoa, whoa! We know how this works!" DM (innocently): Sometimes a door is just a door. Rogue: I examine the door. DM: Roll (INT) Investigation. Rogue: *rolls middling* DM: The only thing you notice is something written in Infernal. Warlock: "I can read Infernal!" What does it say? *DM writes a note and passes it down to the Warlock* Everyone else: "What does it say?" Warlock: "It says, 'Push to open.'" I boot the door. DM: Roll (STR) Athletics. Warlock: *rolls high* DM: The door bursts open and nothing else happens. Sometimes, a door is just a door... or I didn't have enough time to design a puzzle or trap for it.
*in a crypt, there's a statue above a sarcophagus, loosely holding a large sledgehammer* Rogue: From a distance, I pull out my trusty spyglass and examine it. Warlock: I walk up and Detect Magic. DM: Roll me (INT) Investigation [Rogue], please. Rogue: *rolls high* DM: You notice nothing special about the statue or hammer. [Warlock], you can sense a lot of magic emanating from the hammer. Warlock: "Guys, there's a lot of juju coming from this hammer." Bard: I stride over and-- Rogue: "Wait." Can I use Mage Hand to pick up the hammer? DM: ... sure. I'm not going to make you roll anything for it. You use your Mage Hand to slowly slide the hammer out of the hands of the statue. Nothing happens. Bard: I grab the hammer out of the air. DM: Nothing happens. Party: *whew* DM: ...for five seconds. Party: 🤦🏻♂️ *cue description of 60 skeletons breaking through the stone floor around the room*
*a different stream during the Bad Times but same group - Bard is further ahead in a cavern with some NPC cultist helpers who have been heckling the party members who are pretending to be new cult members - the Bard and the cultists have encountered a Demon that hasn't noticed them yet - the Warlock is using Message with the Bard - the Rogue came up with a plan* Rogue (he's still miffed about being heckled by the NPCs) to Warlock: "Tell [Bard] to ask [NPC] if he likes my idea - if my idea is 'cool' enough for him." Warlock to Bard (via Message): "Ask [NPC] if he likes [Rogue]." Rogue: "That's not what I said!" Bard to NPC: "[NPC], I got [Warlock] on the line and she told me to ask you if you like [Rogue]?" NPC to Bard: "Now's really not the time for this." Bard to Warlock (via Message): "He said, 'Now's really the time.'" Warlock to Rogue: "He said, 'Now's really the time to express my feelings for you.'" Rogue: 🤦🏻♂️
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
We're fighting four large spectral disembodied hands.
Player1: "I cast 'Chill Touch' and then challenge one of the hands to a thumb war."
One, Two, Three, Four.
I declare a thumb war.
5, 6, 7, 8
Try to keep your finger straight.
(Instantly pins the opponents thumb down)
9, 10, 11, 12
What the frick rhymes with twelve?
Into the earth dwarves tend to delve?
Please explain what that has to do with thumbs.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Life is very busy unfortunately, gone from most Pbp's indefinitely. If you'd like to contact me, I am on Discord at GreatAxeblade#7595, always happy to chat :)
We're fighting four large spectral disembodied hands.
Player1: "I cast 'Chill Touch' and then challenge one of the hands to a thumb war."
One, Two, Three, Four.
I declare a thumb war.
5, 6, 7, 8
Try to keep your finger straight.
(Instantly pins the opponents thumb down)
9, 10, 11, 12
What the frick rhymes with twelve?
Into the earth dwarves tend to delve?
Please explain what that has to do with thumbs.
Nothing, but it rhymes, which answers your question.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Pronouns: he/him/his.
My posting scheduled is irregular: sometimes I can post twice a week, sometimes twice a day. I may also respond to quick questions, but ignore harder responses in favor of time.
My location is where my character for my home game is (we're doing the wild beyond the witchlight).
"The Doomvault... Probably full of unicorns and rainbows." -An imaginary quote
We're fighting four large spectral disembodied hands.
Player1: "I cast 'Chill Touch' and then challenge one of the hands to a thumb war."
One, Two, Three, Four.
I declare a thumb war.
5, 6, 7, 8
Try to keep your finger straight.
(Instantly pins the opponents thumb down)
9, 10, 11, 12
What the frick rhymes with twelve?
Into the earth dwarves tend to delve?
Please explain what that has to do with thumbs.
Nothing, but it rhymes, which answers your question.
Fair 'nuff
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Life is very busy unfortunately, gone from most Pbp's indefinitely. If you'd like to contact me, I am on Discord at GreatAxeblade#7595, always happy to chat :)
Some from this sunday's session (first session in way, way too long!)
Me (DM): "You hear a hawk calling from somewhere above you."
Artificer: "Ah, it's just a bird, you don't stop just because there's a bird", and he keeps walking ahead of the group.
Me (DM): "Okay then, roll for initiative!" (as two bugbears and a trained bloodhawk attack with javelins from the trees).
Later on, the Monk is scouting ahead of the party on a mountain road, looking for a lost wagon.
Me (DM): "Ahead of you, you see a large shape start to appear in the fog".
Monk: "I will sneak! I want to sneak up on it!"
Me: "Roll stealth"
Monk: "19, plus 4 so 23?"
Me: "You successfully sneak up on it, and see that it is the wagon you've been looking for. It didn't notice you."
Later:
Me: "You see something about the size of a man standing in the fog ahead, but cannot make out what it is."
Monk: "I will sneak up on it! I rolled, a 5, so 9?"
Me: "You attempt to sneak up on it, but as you do so you accidentally kick a rock, and it clatters off the path. The shape doesn't move. As you get closer, you see that it is an Anchor."
Monk: "One day I'll sneak up on something that isn't an inanimate object..."
...and a trained bloodhawk attack with javelins from the trees...
Whoa! A Blood Hawk that was trained to use Javelins!!😱
🙃
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
...and a trained bloodhawk attack with javelins from the trees...
Whoa! A Blood Hawk that was trained to use Javelins!!😱
🙃
It truly could have been a marvel of the world. Unfortunately, through a combination of a critical hit from a light crossbow and a subsequent natural 1 from the bugbear it was next to, it was shot out of the sky and then batted out of the ballpark by a wild attack from the bugbear!
I have so many good ones lmao. Not all of them are from campaigns I've directly been in tho (but I cooked the food and waited on them and cleaned up the dishes and made tea so it counts!).
"I search for traps!" and subsequently "I take the trap!"
"Hey, get your own pointy stick!"
(Very poetically) "Is he more beast than man? More savagery than rationality? Is it even truly wrong to be this wa-" "Oh my gods shut up and smack it already!"
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
- With all due respects, your friendly neighbourhood alchemist
We finished up the two part one-shot today. Let's see about funny quotes ...
Barbarian: Hey Redd....would you say you are Redd-y?
Rogue/Bard: Now let us go forth and kick much a**, Craig 1:1
Sorcerer OOC: When your character is kinda intelligent but you’re not Barbarian OOC: (Moooood)
Barbarian: The pyramid doesn't like this!! You wouldn't like people walking in you!
The party encounters brown mold in a tunnel. We aren't sure what it does. The sorcerer tries to destroy it with a fireball. DM: The mold springs forward with fuzzy tendrils and engulfs the fireball. It now covers the path ahead of you. Rogue/Bard: I remember what this does now.
Rogue/Bard: Hello. It is a pleasure to meet you, Pharaoh ... ? NPC Centaur Pharaoh Mummy: Are you done? Was all of that really necessary? Rogue/Bard: My apologies. I was hoping you would fill in the blank. I didn't want to guess your name incorrectly. Mummy: I suppose I should at least be grateful you didn't blow up the door. Rogue/Bard: It is an honor to meet you, Pharaoh Ma'atkare. Mummy: Pardon my rudeness, but the pleasure is all yours.
We surprise attacked the lamia. Rogue/Bard: As the (fireball) beads fly through the air to hit the Lamia and the jackalwere to her right, he shouts, "We're here to light up your world!"
To keep the lamia from confusing us, we had our ears plugged with mud and yelled loudly. The rogue/bard was singing a war song, the barbarian loudly yelled random halfling phrases and curse words, the sorcerer rambled about dreams in Celestial with an unnecessary amount of swear words, and the aarokocra fighter was just shouting and making random bird noises.
We won, and had a very satisfying ending to this two-part one shot. :D
Maximilian "Mad Max" Oceanus, transmutation wizard, best known for being on the team that saved the universe from Kozelak's infinite hunger, and also an avenger of the Unspoken. Olaf Ericsson, a jolly ranger with a bit of an anger problem. Also likes to sing. Yaethel Akeelan, a druid with a plan; a very, very big plan. Damien Rook, full time author, part time adventurer. Plays god on Saturdays.
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We're fighting four large spectral disembodied hands.
Player1: "I cast 'Chill Touch' and then challenge one of the hands to a thumb war."
===========================
Laugh at life or life will laugh at you.
Current D&D Characters:
Kromen Flintfist, Hill Dwarf Order of the Scribes Wizard/Armorer Artificer
Eiphrok, Half-Orc Oath of Glory Paladin/Draconic Bloodline Sorcerer
One, Two, Three, Four.
I declare a thumb war.
Life is very busy unfortunately, gone from most Pbp's indefinitely.
If you'd like to contact me, I am on Discord at GreatAxeblade#7595, always happy to chat :)
Homebrew races: ~Otterfolk! Play as a otter!~ Playable Dryad! (Literally just the monster sheet ported to player race)
Sauce Archpriest!- Join the Supreme Court of Sauces! Join the Cult of Cults! EXTENDED SIGNATURE Tooltips
5, 6, 7, 8
Try to keep your finger straight.
(Instantly pins the opponents thumb down)
9, 10, 11, 12
What the frick rhymes with twelve?
Life is very busy unfortunately, gone from most Pbp's indefinitely.
If you'd like to contact me, I am on Discord at GreatAxeblade#7595, always happy to chat :)
Homebrew races: ~Otterfolk! Play as a otter!~ Playable Dryad! (Literally just the monster sheet ported to player race)
Sauce Archpriest!- Join the Supreme Court of Sauces! Join the Cult of Cults! EXTENDED SIGNATURE Tooltips
Into the earth dwarves tend to delve?
Pronouns: he/him/his.
My posting scheduled is irregular: sometimes I can post twice a week, sometimes twice a day. I may also respond to quick questions, but ignore harder responses in favor of time.
My location is where my character for my home game is (we're doing the wild beyond the witchlight).
"The Doomvault... Probably full of unicorns and rainbows." -An imaginary quote
"stop killing me your made of cheese"
no context because this still made no sense in context
Check out my homebrew subclasses spells magic items feats monsters races
i am a sauce priest
help create a world here
paraphrased from a pair of live streams at cons in the Before Times, both by the same group
*after some puzzles and traps*
DM: At the end of the hall, you see an ordinary door.
Party: "Whoa, whoa, whoa! We know how this works!"
DM (innocently): Sometimes a door is just a door.
Rogue: I examine the door.
DM: Roll (INT) Investigation.
Rogue: *rolls middling*
DM: The only thing you notice is something written in Infernal.
Warlock: "I can read Infernal!" What does it say?
*DM writes a note and passes it down to the Warlock*
Everyone else: "What does it say?"
Warlock: "It says, 'Push to open.'" I boot the door.
DM: Roll (STR) Athletics.
Warlock: *rolls high*
DM: The door bursts open and nothing else happens. Sometimes, a door is just a door... or I didn't have enough time to design a puzzle or trap for it.
*in a crypt, there's a statue above a sarcophagus, loosely holding a large sledgehammer*
Rogue: From a distance, I pull out my trusty spyglass and examine it.
Warlock: I walk up and Detect Magic.
DM: Roll me (INT) Investigation [Rogue], please.
Rogue: *rolls high*
DM: You notice nothing special about the statue or hammer. [Warlock], you can sense a lot of magic emanating from the hammer.
Warlock: "Guys, there's a lot of juju coming from this hammer."
Bard: I stride over and--
Rogue: "Wait." Can I use Mage Hand to pick up the hammer?
DM: ... sure. I'm not going to make you roll anything for it. You use your Mage Hand to slowly slide the hammer out of the hands of the statue. Nothing happens.
Bard: I grab the hammer out of the air.
DM: Nothing happens.
Party: *whew*
DM: ...for five seconds.
Party: 🤦🏻♂️
*cue description of 60 skeletons breaking through the stone floor around the room*
*a different stream during the Bad Times but same group - Bard is further ahead in a cavern with some NPC cultist helpers who have been heckling the party members who are pretending to be new cult members - the Bard and the cultists have encountered a Demon that hasn't noticed them yet - the Warlock is using Message with the Bard - the Rogue came up with a plan*
Rogue (he's still miffed about being heckled by the NPCs) to Warlock: "Tell [Bard] to ask [NPC] if he likes my idea - if my idea is 'cool' enough for him."
Warlock to Bard (via Message): "Ask [NPC] if he likes [Rogue]."
Rogue: "That's not what I said!"
Bard to NPC: "[NPC], I got [Warlock] on the line and she told me to ask you if you like [Rogue]?"
NPC to Bard: "Now's really not the time for this."
Bard to Warlock (via Message): "He said, 'Now's really the time.'"
Warlock to Rogue: "He said, 'Now's really the time to express my feelings for you.'"
Rogue: 🤦🏻♂️
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Please explain what that has to do with thumbs.
Life is very busy unfortunately, gone from most Pbp's indefinitely.
If you'd like to contact me, I am on Discord at GreatAxeblade#7595, always happy to chat :)
Homebrew races: ~Otterfolk! Play as a otter!~ Playable Dryad! (Literally just the monster sheet ported to player race)
Sauce Archpriest!- Join the Supreme Court of Sauces! Join the Cult of Cults! EXTENDED SIGNATURE Tooltips
Nothing, but it rhymes, which answers your question.
Pronouns: he/him/his.
My posting scheduled is irregular: sometimes I can post twice a week, sometimes twice a day. I may also respond to quick questions, but ignore harder responses in favor of time.
My location is where my character for my home game is (we're doing the wild beyond the witchlight).
"The Doomvault... Probably full of unicorns and rainbows." -An imaginary quote
Fair 'nuff
Life is very busy unfortunately, gone from most Pbp's indefinitely.
If you'd like to contact me, I am on Discord at GreatAxeblade#7595, always happy to chat :)
Homebrew races: ~Otterfolk! Play as a otter!~ Playable Dryad! (Literally just the monster sheet ported to player race)
Sauce Archpriest!- Join the Supreme Court of Sauces! Join the Cult of Cults! EXTENDED SIGNATURE Tooltips
A few from today's sesh.
"Ooh, that will help our economy!"
"I'll give a thousand darts."
"This is Houston, you are cleared for takeoff."
"FATALITY!"
"Look at the flowers."
"We'll build the first RV!"
"Iron pig!"
"When you wish upon a star!"
"Disintegrate, the answer to all life's problems!"
Mystic v3 should be official, nuff said.
"Karate beats Cthulhu.", me explaining to the DM why I would prefer to play Monk over Warlock.
Mystic v3 should be official, nuff said.
“I got it..! He only has one eye, right? He’s got no depth perception! We’ll hit him from a distance!”
(later)
”Gah! How did he see us!?”
”Foolish mortal...my eye sees all.”
”That doesn’t make any sense!”
”I am a god...making sense of things is what you do.”
”That...actually is more profound than it has any right to be. Wow.”
"Don't hit the bread bag, there's fur!"
I am providing absolutely no context for this.
- With all due respects, your friendly neighbourhood alchemist
Some from this sunday's session (first session in way, way too long!)
Me (DM): "You hear a hawk calling from somewhere above you."
Artificer: "Ah, it's just a bird, you don't stop just because there's a bird", and he keeps walking ahead of the group.
Me (DM): "Okay then, roll for initiative!" (as two bugbears and a trained bloodhawk attack with javelins from the trees).
Later on, the Monk is scouting ahead of the party on a mountain road, looking for a lost wagon.
Me (DM): "Ahead of you, you see a large shape start to appear in the fog".
Monk: "I will sneak! I want to sneak up on it!"
Me: "Roll stealth"
Monk: "19, plus 4 so 23?"
Me: "You successfully sneak up on it, and see that it is the wagon you've been looking for. It didn't notice you."
Later:
Me: "You see something about the size of a man standing in the fog ahead, but cannot make out what it is."
Monk: "I will sneak up on it! I rolled, a 5, so 9?"
Me: "You attempt to sneak up on it, but as you do so you accidentally kick a rock, and it clatters off the path. The shape doesn't move. As you get closer, you see that it is an Anchor."
Monk: "One day I'll sneak up on something that isn't an inanimate object..."
Make your Artificer work with any other class with 174 Multiclassing Feats for your Artificer Multiclass Character!
DM's Guild Releases on This Thread Or check them all out on DMs Guild!
DrivethruRPG Releases on This Thread - latest release: My Character is a Werewolf: balanced rules for Lycanthropy!
I have started discussing/reviewing 3rd party D&D content on Substack - stay tuned for semi-regular posts!
"The spider had a seizure."
Once again, no context for you.
- With all due respects, your friendly neighbourhood alchemist
Whoa! A Blood Hawk that was trained to use Javelins!!😱
🙃
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
It truly could have been a marvel of the world. Unfortunately, through a combination of a critical hit from a light crossbow and a subsequent natural 1 from the bugbear it was next to, it was shot out of the sky and then batted out of the ballpark by a wild attack from the bugbear!
Make your Artificer work with any other class with 174 Multiclassing Feats for your Artificer Multiclass Character!
DM's Guild Releases on This Thread Or check them all out on DMs Guild!
DrivethruRPG Releases on This Thread - latest release: My Character is a Werewolf: balanced rules for Lycanthropy!
I have started discussing/reviewing 3rd party D&D content on Substack - stay tuned for semi-regular posts!
I have so many good ones lmao. Not all of them are from campaigns I've directly been in tho (but I cooked the food and waited on them and cleaned up the dishes and made tea so it counts!).
"I search for traps!" and subsequently "I take the trap!"
"Hey, get your own pointy stick!"
(Very poetically) "Is he more beast than man? More savagery than rationality? Is it even truly wrong to be this wa-" "Oh my gods shut up and smack it already!"
- With all due respects, your friendly neighbourhood alchemist
We finished up the two part one-shot today. Let's see about funny quotes ...
Barbarian: Hey Redd....would you say you are Redd-y?
Rogue/Bard: Now let us go forth and kick much a**, Craig 1:1
Sorcerer OOC: When your character is kinda intelligent but you’re not
Barbarian OOC: (Moooood)
Barbarian: The pyramid doesn't like this!! You wouldn't like people walking in you!
The party encounters brown mold in a tunnel. We aren't sure what it does. The sorcerer tries to destroy it with a fireball.
DM: The mold springs forward with fuzzy tendrils and engulfs the fireball. It now covers the path ahead of you.
Rogue/Bard: I remember what this does now.
Rogue/Bard: Hello. It is a pleasure to meet you, Pharaoh ... ?
NPC Centaur Pharaoh Mummy: Are you done? Was all of that really necessary?
Rogue/Bard: My apologies. I was hoping you would fill in the blank. I didn't want to guess your name incorrectly.
Mummy: I suppose I should at least be grateful you didn't blow up the door.
Rogue/Bard: It is an honor to meet you, Pharaoh Ma'atkare.
Mummy: Pardon my rudeness, but the pleasure is all yours.
We surprise attacked the lamia.
Rogue/Bard: As the (fireball) beads fly through the air to hit the Lamia and the jackalwere to her right, he shouts, "We're here to light up your world!"
To keep the lamia from confusing us, we had our ears plugged with mud and yelled loudly. The rogue/bard was singing a war song, the barbarian loudly yelled random halfling phrases and curse words, the sorcerer rambled about dreams in Celestial with an unnecessary amount of swear words, and the aarokocra fighter was just shouting and making random bird noises.
We won, and had a very satisfying ending to this two-part one shot. :D
Maximilian "Mad Max" Oceanus, transmutation wizard, best known for being on the team that saved the universe from Kozelak's infinite hunger, and also an avenger of the Unspoken.
Olaf Ericsson, a jolly ranger with a bit of an anger problem. Also likes to sing.
Yaethel Akeelan, a druid with a plan; a very, very big plan.
Damien Rook, full time author, part time adventurer.
Plays god on Saturdays.