I jump into the bag! I jump into the bag and cast absorb elements. If I can, I will take Jerry too. If not, he likes fire, what better way for a pyromaniac to go?

I have to say that as soon as I posted the room I'd chosen, I realised that Jerry might have ulterior motives.

With a look of hope still on his face, Jerry, the Artificer and Tiamat get a first hand experience of what it was like to be accused of witchcraft in the middle ages. Tiamat lasts longer than the others, surviving just long enough to be killed by the explosion which ripples out from Jerry's smoking husk. The Artificer, floating in a pool of oil in the still-open bag of holding, does a wonderful impression of an overcooked onion ring in a deep fat fryer.

Dark's Artificer, Jerry and any AFK players who were floating in limbo find themselves dropping, screaming, into a comfortable sofa, alive and somehow unhurt. The room is momentarily shaken by the rumble of a distant explosion, and they are joined by Tiamat, also screaming.

You are seated in what appears to be a waiting room. There are some potted plants positioned just-so to maintain the feng-shui of the room. Along the wall opposite are a series of wooden doors, carved with large symbols. The first three (carved as 4 doors, a lion skull, and a snake) all have crosses of green fire burning above them. The fourth, carved with a flame, has a red cross burning above it.

The remaining 7 doors have no crosses burning. They are engraved as follows:

A Pot, A hill torn in half, A Sword, A Chest, A Musical Note, Waves, a Flower.

otherwise there is little else in the room - a small table featuring an assortment of magazines like "Warlock Weekly" and "Arsonists Anonymous".

I look over at Jerry, who is now admiring the the flame door, and just barely rising out of his seat, and proceed to push him gently back into the seated position.

My artificer then pulls out his fire-bolt gun and slowly opens the first door just a crack.

Jerry will start reading arsonist anonymous.

Tiamat is dead now.

What?

No way. Tiamat cannot die like this.

Jerry finds a wonderful article comparing the flammability of different types of garden ornament.

Tiamat can be dead if you want, but as far as I can tell Tiamat is sitting on the sofa after being exploded somewhere else, somehow still alive and well.

Pushing open the first door (the one with 4 doors engraved on it and a green, fiery "X" above it), you see a dark room with a ceiling so incredibly high, you aren't sure if there even is one. The light of the torch doesn’t reach the walls, and the floor is a cold obsidian. You get the feeling that something is watching you from just outside the darkness, a cold fear that is just waiting for the light to burn out, the last thing between you, and it. In the distance, you see 4 doors. One of them is open and has a good deal of snow piled out of it. There are some small fires on the floor, leading to an edge to the floor, where you can just make out an arrow with a rope tied around it wedged in the carvings on the wall.

Imma let her live.)

Tiamat is watching some sort of TV.

That man stole my room. thought I wouldnt notice, but I did.

The artificer now walks over to the red cross door and opens it.

Quote from Darkstalker42 >>

That man stole my room. thought I wouldnt notice, but I did.

The artificer now walks over to the red cross door and opens it.

Oh no, I was definitely trying to make sure you noticed :D

You open the door engraved with a flame to find yourself looking onto the room in which you just died. The door is aflame, but the rest of the room looks exactly like it did when you first entered it.

Tiamat really doesn't care about the room anymore. She's at home because the blast coincidentially landed her there.

Quote from ThorukDuckSlayer >>

Quote from Darkstalker42 >>

That man stole my room. thought I wouldnt notice, but I did.

The artificer now walks over to the red cross door and opens it.

 

Oh no, I was definitely trying to make sure you noticed :D

You open the door engraved with a flame to find yourself looking onto the room in which you just died. The door is aflame, but the rest of the room looks exactly like it did when you first entered it.

 He looks at the door, shrugs, and proceeds to walk over and open the pot room and get really high.

You open the door marked with a pot (no, not that kind). As you do so, the doorway yawns wide and swallows everybody in the waiting room, in a blatant effort to prevent the party from splitting up.

You all find yourselves in a room with a single large, stone door set in one wall. In the middle of the room are several very large stone pots.

carefully, with my fire gun still in one hand and ready to fire, I look into one of the pots.

Lifting one of the lids you look inside and find that the pot is empty.

First, are you suuuure? what if i look, like, reeeeeeeaaaaaallllllly hard?

Second, I'm gonna cast detect magic as a ritual using a small gyroscope thingy that vibrates at the same frequency as magic.

You see only the large interior of the pot.

Your gyroscopic whirlygig detects some Evocation magic coming from the pot.

As you replace the lid on the pot, you hear a grinding of gears coming from the doorway. You look up and see that the door is interlinked with heavy stone bars which look like some sort of defence against battering rams. These bars are the cause of the noise - they are very slowly retracting into the wall around the door - As an Artificer, you realise that the door is starting to unlock.

As you notice this, you all also notice a foul smell in the air. Each of your breaths scratch at your throat, and your collars seem to be getting tight. Is it warm in here? You start to sweat.

Jerry will yell frightened “garden gnomes aren’t as flammable as I thought!” Then look around to see they are in a new room. He will open a different pot.

Quote from plopped123 >>

Jerry will yell frightened “garden gnomes aren’t as flammable as I thought!” Then look around to see they are in a new room. He will open a different pot.

 Roll me a perception check please! (don't worry too much about modifiers unless you really want to!)