Immutable Form. Your Mom's House is immune to any spell or effect that would alter its form.

Magic Resistance. Your Mom's House has advantage on saving throws against spells and other magical effects.

Contracting Creature Construction Crew. Your Mom's House has a small crew of tiny creatures that are constantly repairing and modifying it. They do not take or deal any damage and their only purpose is to work on Your Mom's House. At the beginning of Your Mom's House's turn it gains 15 hit points due to the constant construction. If Your Mom's House takes fire damage, this trait doesn't function at the start of Your Mom's House's next turn because the creatures are afraid of fire. Your Mom's House only dies if it starts its turn with 0 hit points and does not regenerate. 

Multiattack. Your Mom's House makes two slam attacks

Slam. Melee Weapon Attack: +13 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 20 (3d8 + 7) bludgeoning damage.

Bathroom Bash (Recharge 5 or 6). Melee Weapon Attack: +13 to hit, reach 10 ft., one target. Hit: (3d10 + 7) bludgeoning damage and (2d6) poison damage. Your Mom's House extends its attached outhouse extension and slams down on you, spilling noxious sewage in the process. The target must make a DC 15 Con Saving throw or be poisoned for 1 minute

Building Material Boon (Recharge 6). Your Mom's House grabs whatever construction materials that are around it, such as trees, rock, or slate and adheres them to its body. Your Mom's House gains 4d10 Hit Points if it is not at full health. If it is at full health it gains 2d10 temporary HP. The temporary HP can only be applied if Your Mom's House does not have any temporary HP. 

Shingle Snipe. Ranged Weapon Attack: +13 to hit, reach 40 ft., one target. Hit: (2d6 + 7) piercing damage. Your Mom's House shoots a singular roof shingle at one target it can see.

Your Mom's House can take 3 legendary actions, choosing from the options below. Only one legendary action option can be used at a time and only at the end of another creature's turn. Your Mom's House regains spent legendary actions at the start of its turn.

Slam. Your Mom's House makes a slam attack

Expel Excrement. The tiny contractors throw out some spare materials and a 5 foot area within 10 ft. of Your Mom's House becomes difficult terrain for 1 minute. After 1 minute, the materials fade away. If Your Mom's House is below 100 hit points and performs this legendary action then Your Mom's House loses 15 hit points.