#1: Thank you! I enjoyed writing the little bio/short story, I think it helps give it some flavor.
#2: Yeah, that appears to be a mechanical issue I completely overlooked. It's supposed to say the detect thoughts spell. Obviously can't fix it now that the contest is underway, but I will make the change for future versions.
#3: I wouldn't say possession is problematic necessarily, just that it can make combat a little more complex. But this ability also has use outside of combat, like manipulating an npc in a creepy way, making them do something weird, or even trying to manipulate a pc non-violently to achieve its goals. However, I like your suggestion to allow it to possess books and scrolls. Although I'd have to go in a little more in-depth mechanically to accomplish that, I like the way it sounds. My original goal for this ability was for the demon to use this ability in more of an intrigue/psychological horror sort of way, as these types of demons aren't necessarily the hack n slash combat chaos types so much as those who like to cause chaos through manipulation. However, I was already considering changing the wording of its possession feature in a later version, so I might end up changing it to more like what you said. Thanks!
EDIT: also just realized the attack mod for its claws are wrong; should be +10 XD
dea has alot of flavor and creative options, but all of the dialogue and conditional mechanics of it makes it feel more like an encounter than a magic item, mechanically. Also, why does a creature only gain the benefits of a short rest after the dealer appears to them during a long rest?
So, 1, fair. The conditional mechanics and dialogue make it seem like an encounter but that was more to let the creature know fully where the power is coming from. Second, I could've clarified better, it's because the creature wakes up early from the long rest due to the appearance of the Dealer.
Also this one
Great idea, the downside of failing the save just once may be a bit harsh. Thematically it seems to be made for the player's options category, not for the DM options one.
Also very fair, true, it probably would've been a good idea to move the amount you need to fail up to three or something, but I never got around to it. :p
Due to the joys of Firewalls I haven't been able t ovote yet, I will try to either later or tomorrow!
I have written up some feedback for them all though, because I know it's nice to have feedback!
Hellfire Band:
This one was quite cool, and the ability to effectively wish for things with an infernal being which requests favours I find to be awesome for storytelling. There are a few bits in the fomatting that are to be desired, such as “gain a flying speed equal to double their movement speed, and there appears to be no contingency for gaining a gft and then removing the band - or if the band can be removed at all!
Inkbound Demon:
This is a very cool concept, and has strong storytelling capabilities as well as being a fierce opponent in combat. The possession ability is petty scary, as there is no capacity to repeat the save, and as such a PC could easily be lost to the players if they are possessed and then escape - I would have had the ability to repeat the save at dawn, just to give them a chance of being freed! However, the perma-possession makes for a cool puppetmaster BBEG, where you think you've won but wait, what's this inky pool coming from the evil overlord? All in all I love it, and it's well written, and the save thing is personal taste more than anything so is not enough to remove marks.
Kygoros, the Lamentation of death:
This is a big bad boss beasty, and I can see it being used as a dungeon-crawl boss into the plane of the Abyss. The ability to spawn minions in his lair is a good way to make the fight more interesting, and I like the flavour of death and sorrow - though it may not mesh with every table! The high CR leaves him exclusively for high tier games. The teleport ability seems perhaps out of place, but can help make him more of a threat, which is good for the game!
Fury-Name Page
A cool concept and a nice bit of imagery, but I would not like this as a DM - for starters, it requires that the players have an intimate knowledge of what each demon can do, and in a game about demons, that promotes meta-gaming. I would have preferred a list of spells and perhaps a charge level (EG using low spells from low demons as 1 charge, and more powerful spells as 3-4 charges, and the page regains charges each day). I'd also perhaps have considered having them on a roll table for those who don't speak abyssal, and cannot decide which spell gets used when they read it!
Jubilex, the Faceless Lord
My first impression was "wow, that's a lot of stat block". Reading through, it looks like a hell of an enemy to face, and to run! Being Gargantuan and with a movement of 20ft, this thing is literally moving like the Blob from the classic film. Amorphous combines Immutable Form, Amorphous, and Swarm rules into one thing, though the occupying another creatures space is worded that they would take damage when they are moved onto and then also when they start their turn, making movement perhaps the most potent attack of the monster, and something of a feel-bad for the players (oh, you take damage again, now make your decisions!). Corrosive horror affecting magical items is also very potent! With the volume of HP, the ability to regain HP, and being amorphous ooze that is huge, I feel like the high AC of 15 is unnecessary - players should be hitting this thing easily and regretting it immediately! The slime abilities of the pseudopod attack add another thing to remember, and the con save or be slimed seems a little off, I might have chosen dexterity to dodge the slime! Loathsme presence can render a character out of position and useless for swathes of the battle. Memory Drain is slightly wordy for what it does, as by the time you're up to a D20 then you'll have spent 6 turns engulfed, and will have taken an average of 264 points of damage from Memory Drain and 252 points of damage from Corrosive Horror, so chances are that PC is dead before all this wording comes into effect. Hungering Sewer is a cool ability and I like the nature of it. Circle of the Fetid Prince adds more to do, and the Corruption one gives out exhaustion on an almost-guaranteed basis, on a monster which guarantees to be a long fight. I think it might be too much. Pestilent Bile further adds to the options, and the effects, and another roll on a table.
The monster is well written and definitely fits the horrifyingly disgusting theme it was setting out to achieve. I feel that, as a stat block, it is too much - there is a lot going on, and by the time you expand the various ables, spells, madnesses, diseases, and so on, what a DM can do with this monster could fill several pages. That makes it very difficult to use to its full potential, and liable to have its effects missed or forgotten. And now I find Lair Actions, which makes for even more to remember!
I do like the effort that has gone into this beast, and I feel with the right amount of preparation, a DM could use this and do it justice, but a lot of us DMs would be put off by the sheer volume here, and would probably homebrew it down to an easier to run level. Some of the abilities consider such edge-cases (such as a PC surviving over 500 points of damage to fall unconscious from memory drain) that they could have been slimmed down. Wit hso much going on, some of these things were always going to slip through.
Lost Notes of Iggwilv:
These are a nice bit of flavour and additional effects for the spells, and are extremely potent in the hands of a Wizard. Being Legendary and separate items, this isn't such a problem! It's well written and fits the theme.
Avatar of Ilsensine:
This is another monolith of a statblock, and as such is destined to probably only ever be used once, if at all, by any DM, and then as a final boss, and is likely to miss things or abilities out. Astral Avatar effectively gives this thing 864hp. The merging of the astral plane with the material plane is a cool effect. Tendrils of though is missin gthe DC for the intelligence saving throw, and "reversed" is misspelt. Psychic defence is written as though it were for a player character, as it implies that Ilsensine can wield a shield, which does not make sense in the imagery. Telepathic Hub is a nice touch and makes the normal issues with telepathy go away somewhat! Innate Spellcasting lists Ilsensine as a 20th level spellcaster, which I believe means a 9th level spellcaster, again mixing verbage from player characters and monsters - a 20th level barbarian spellcaster knows no spells! Big list of spells to pick through, so a DM needs t oswat up before the fight to make the most of the monster. Multiattack is misspelt as "mutliattack". Tendril of Thought is a cool ability, hough the wording repeats the creation of the tendril, it could have read "If this damage reduces the target to 0 hit points, the target is instantly killed, Ilsensine regains hit points equal to the amount of damage it dealt, and gains another tendril of length 10 feet which represents the creature Ilsensine just killed.", to avoid confusion. Create Minion is a cool and creepy ability, but needs clarification for saving throws, as it only has AC and HP. Psychic Explosion, as written, affects the Avatar as well and does not specify radius or diameter for the sphere, but now I see that he can extend the tentacles, which is cool. Aberrent Form uses odd language (extruding something means it comes out of it, like extruding a tentacle. Exuding means it comes out like a mist or feeling, which I think was the desired meaning). It's terrifying that there is no range or planar limits - once you're afraid, you might die of fright no matter where you run! Mind Screen is going to take some rolepla to work, which I like in a combat, and is a good step-up for the halfway point of the fight. Lair actions are nice (though proficiency is spelt wrong in Mystic Knowledge). Overall it's a cool statblock, with a few typos and some wonky bits (shield, level 20 spellcaster). There are a few references to other books in there, which is testament to this being a big final boss, and Ithink it works well.
Shadowcraft:
I love the "shadow-man" aspect of this, and think it's a very cool cantrip. I would probably aim to reword it a little, as it specifies that you can only have two non-instantaneous effects, but there are no instantaneous effects listed - they all last an hour! Maybe adding some flickers, growing, and darkening effects would be pretty cool. The 5-foot cube makes for an odd way to measure a shadow, as shadows can be longer or shorter depending on the light source, and I would probably have gone by object size - starting with medium or smaller, and then growing to large, huge, and gargantuan as you level up. That said, I can't see how the size of the shadow you manipulate would really affect the power of the spell, as it's more of a flavour spell! Definitely one I may adapt for my games.
Hellbind:
This spell is very cool, full of flavour and I love that it fools them into thinking they have been dragged to the nine hells. My initial thought as I read it was that it was written differently to normal spells (normally detailing what happens on a failure and then on a success, half damage and the spell ends), but then the upcasting justified the difference. A very good submission, I think.
Devil's Trickery:
The spell at first seems underpowered, but when the effect on those immune to being charmed comes in it fits well. I like that it is limited to Humanoids, to avoid unwanted effects. The appearance change is pretty good, though the tail is unlikely to ever have an effect, I feel, and could have been a bit more obvious!
Demonic Tiefling
This is a nice option for players, and gives good flavour without going OTT on the power. I feel like this tiefling is not much different in power to a normal tiefling, and has some nice options & flavour, making it well balanced.
The Knower’s Guide to Infernal Control
There is clearly a lot of work that has gone into this, and it shows. The flavour of the invocations is very cool, and the higher level ones give you something to look forward to being able to do when you are high enough level. I really like this one.
The Pact Primeval:
This is laid out nicely, and neatly fits on one page, which I like. Born to negotiate reads a little weirdly, as it says "on a success, the creature..." which made me think that this was if the creature succeeded, but it actually meant if you succeeded. Perhaps it would be better written as the creature making a save against your contested roll, to smooth this out, along the lines of "Moreover, when you cast a Warlock spell which targets a single creatre using a Warlock spell slot, you can force the creature to roll a Wisdom saving throw against your contested Charisma (Deception) check. On a failure, the creature believes you are casting a harmless spell and has disadvantage on the first saving throw against this spell. On a success however, it has advantage on the first saving throw against this spell.", or thereabouts. Bound by Signature is cool, though I feel it should work the other way - when a creature signs a contract with you. The phrase "for an infinite amount of time" might sound better as "indefinitely". Infernal Pact is a cool feature, letting you share your powers out, and makes for great party roleplay & dynamics I feel, as well as letting the party work together to make cool combos! The Fine Print is a neat feature with plenty of flavour that may or may not come up in a game, but it still has practical applications, which is good. Greater Infernal Pact builds the class well and really cements this as a buff-warlock, which is a good niche to build into. All in all, I like this a lot.
Fiendish Charm
A nice addition to a trickery-themed character who doesn't want to go the conventional routes. I can't see Distort Value as I don't have the content, but I can guess what it does! Suggestion fits pretty well too, and level 3 for a 2nd level spell is pretty good, though this will only affect a variant human or if the DM gives out Feats, which perhaps is a little skewed (ASI's, and therefore Feats, don't arrive until level 4 otherwise).
The Curse of the Fiendtouched:
The initial story writeup is cool, and I love the idea of these creatures just throwing curses at people as a last screw-you to their victors, so definitely something I'd like to see more of. The first 3 effects are cool, though it breaks convention by doubling the resistance. Voice of Despair is both harsher (by eliminating social encounters) and more powerful (by having a range and with talking being a free AOE attack). I like that it has a stronger curse vibe, and think it will promote roleplay to get around it. Creature of Shadow is cool, Fall from grace is also very flavourful. Desecration could use some clarification on whether you lose your racial ASI's, if they are being used in the game, and otherwise seems to have no negative effect, unless tieflings are ostracised in the game. Unholy life is nice, but very powerful - perhaps instead make it temporary hitpoints - getting this in a party which does not rely on holy healing would be a massive power boon. Damnation is very cool and flavourful, I like it a lot. Serpent i nthe Grass is a very cool one for roleplay, as the DM will likely just say that the fiend curses them, and then nothing happens. Very nice.
The Effects after the curse is removed is a nice touch, and basically is a free powerful feat that comes from being cursed, so it's entirely at the DM's discretion (and potentially a very cool way to up the power of an overshadowed character). I like this submission.
The Path of the Hellbringer:
Right off the bat, I love the fell manifestations - love the idea of a barbarians rage being more than just anger, and unsettling is really something I get into with this stuff. Demon Form seems powerful, especially in hordes or against enemies with a lot of attacks. I wonderif perhaps it would be better as a reaction, rather than guaranteed damage on every hit. Clarifying the reckless attack advantage isn't needed here, as nothing contradicts it. Creating dark energy on an attack action, and it disappearing after the attack, leads to questions about how this interacts with multiattack - do you get one attack with it per turn, or can you use it for multiple attacks? I wonder if this might have been better as an effect you add to your normal weapon? Squeezing through the gaps is cool, and very creepy. It's already limited in uses by being part of rage, so is pretty well balanced. I like that Nether Aspect is social rather than combat, it balances the subclass well. Cursebearer is also very cool, and unique, which I like. Reckless Abbadon is oddly named, and I feel like it is a bit clunky, with damaging yourself. I imaging manifesting wings to be a one-time AOE which pushes people away, followed by the ability to fly for an amount of time. Not so sure about this ability. As a side note, this class would lend very well to a resistance to Necrotic damage while raging. All in all a very good concept and well presented, just needs a little bit of tidying up!
Infernal Pact:
Took a couple of reads to understand the premise of this spell - that two creatures are making a pact to one another, with a fiend dragged in to enforce it by trying to kill the other person if they renege on the pact. The concept of the spell is solid, but I feel that this requires that the players know more about the fiends than they probably should, which risks metagaming. It might have been better to leave the fiend vague, and to have a curse land on the one who breaks the pact instead, such as not being able to heal in any way until they either complete the pact (EG steal the thing) or they have the curse removed with a wish. The appearance of a Fiend might be easily dealt with by a wizard casting Banishment, or any number of clever get-out-tactics, whereas a flat curse makes it a lot more potent, and easier to apply.
Spelljamming Mishaps:
I like the idea of a bit more random in such a wacky concept as Spelljammer, and the 5 mishaps here are nice effects, though I find the last a bit odd, as it implies that the energy is harvested in a controlled manner - I might have had it explode outwards on arrival, when they slow down to normal speeds. I'm not a fan of this being a 1 in 20 chance, with a further 1 in 6 chance of nothing happening. Once I've rolled the mishap I expect haps to be missed! Though "nothing happens" coudl refer to the drive not engaging and the ship doesn't jump to speedy-mode, which would be a cool mishap.
Overall, these are all absolutely excellent submissions - not one of which wasn't enjoyable to read through! Looking forward to seeing the results (and actually voting when I get the time!)
My first impression was "wow, that's a lot of stat block". Reading through, it looks like a hell of an enemy to face, and to run! Being Gargantuan and with a movement of 20ft, this thing is literally moving like the Blob from the classic film. Amorphous combines Immutable Form, Amorphous, and Swarm rules into one thing, though the occupying another creatures space is worded that they would take damage when they are moved onto and then also when they start their turn, making movement perhaps the most potent attack of the monster, and something of a feel-bad for the players (oh, you take damage again, now make your decisions!). Corrosive horror affecting magical items is also very potent! With the volume of HP, the ability to regain HP, and being amorphous ooze that is huge, I feel like the high AC of 15 is unnecessary - players should be hitting this thing easily and regretting it immediately! The slime abilities of the pseudopod attack add another thing to remember, and the con save or be slimed seems a little off, I might have chosen dexterity to dodge the slime! Loathsme presence can render a character out of position and useless for swathes of the battle. Memory Drain is slightly wordy for what it does, as by the time you're up to a D20 then you'll have spent 6 turns engulfed, and will have taken an average of 264 points of damage from Memory Drain and 252 points of damage from Corrosive Horror, so chances are that PC is dead before all this wording comes into effect. Hungering Sewer is a cool ability and I like the nature of it. Circle of the Fetid Prince adds more to do, and the Corruption one gives out exhaustion on an almost-guaranteed basis, on a monster which guarantees to be a long fight. I think it might be too much. Pestilent Bile further adds to the options, and the effects, and another roll on a table.
The monster is well written and definitely fits the horrifyingly disgusting theme it was setting out to achieve. I feel that, as a stat block, it is too much - there is a lot going on, and by the time you expand the various ables, spells, madnesses, diseases, and so on, what a DM can do with this monster could fill several pages. That makes it very difficult to use to its full potential, and liable to have its effects missed or forgotten. And now I find Lair Actions, which makes for even more to remember!
I do like the effort that has gone into this beast, and I feel with the right amount of preparation, a DM could use this and do it justice, but a lot of us DMs would be put off by the sheer volume here, and would probably homebrew it down to an easier to run level. Some of the abilities consider such edge-cases (such as a PC surviving over 500 points of damage to fall unconscious from memory drain) that they could have been slimmed down. Wit hso much going on, some of these things were always going to slip through.
Yes, this thing is supposed to be like the Blob :-)
Amorphous uses the standard wording that is also used for spells like Spirit Guardians and means the damage procs when the creature itself moves into the dangerous area (here into Juiblex's space) or when it starts its turn there, but not when the dangerous area (here Juiblex) moves into its space.
I was considering giviing it a lower AC, but then I read various ooze statblocks and saw that oblexes have a natural AC of 16, thus I gave it a 15. Maybe lower would be better though...? Anyways, even 15 is so low that a level 20 character with a +3 weapon only misses on a natural 1 (and when factoring in items like Belts of Giant Strength and other buffs like bless, it becomes even easier they still miss on a natural 1).
I went with the Con save as I thought it was appropriate to withstand poison and acid. The ability is inspired from the official Juiblex's corrupting touch, which has no save at all. Strength could be fitting too?
Memory drain was taken straight from the elder oblex's statblock, except for the bit about learning a spell the creature knows, which I added. Maybe it makes sense to reduce it to just draining the spell?
You might be looking at an old statblock, I have removed the Corruption option from Circle of the Fetid Prince in my last update (which I posted here) :-) https://www.dndbeyond.com/monsters/3008251-the-faceless-lord Since you mentioned that it would have been basically impossible to avoid, you generally need to take into account that as a DM you have to adjust a monster's save DC to your party to avoid them being unable to save against certain effects. For example, in two different runs of Don't Say Vecna I once gave him a spell save DC of 21 and the other time ran him with a DC of 26 as this time there was a paladin with +5 Charisma and this party generally had much better saving throws and support options than the first party with just one cleric and a couple of fighters.
Pact Primeval
This is laid out nicely, and neatly fits on one page, which I like. Born to negotiate reads a little weirdly, as it says "on a success, the creature..." which made me think that this was if the creature succeeded, but it actually meant if you succeeded. Perhaps it would be better written as the creature making a save against your contested roll, to smooth this out, along the lines of "Moreover, when you cast a Warlock spell which targets a single creatre using a Warlock spell slot, you can force the creature to roll a Wisdom saving throw against your contested Charisma (Deception) check. On a failure, the creature believes you are casting a harmless spell and has disadvantage on the first saving throw against this spell. On a success however, it has advantage on the first saving throw against this spell.", or thereabouts. Bound by Signature is cool, though I feel it should work the other way - when a creature signs a contract with you. The phrase "for an infinite amount of time" might sound better as "indefinitely". Infernal Pact is a cool feature, letting you share your powers out, and makes for great party roleplay & dynamics I feel, as well as letting the party work together to make cool combos! The Fine Print is a neat feature with plenty of flavour that may or may not come up in a game, but it still has practical applications, which is good. Greater Infernal Pact builds the class well and really cements this as a buff-warlock, which is a good niche to build into. All in all, I like this a lot.
You are right, I could have written it a bit more clearer. English is not my native tongue though :-D I don't think a saving throw contested by Deception check would be a good idea though, it would not fit the flavor of the feature and contested skill checks are a thing :-) When writing Bound by Signature, I was imagining that signing a contract always has both sides involved and thus regardless of how I write it, it would always work "both ways".
Also, while it is not my submission, I saw that you asked about Ilsensine's spellcasting level. "Level 20 spellcaster" is correct here, as Ilsensine casts as if it was a level 20 wizard, with the appropriate amount of spell slots and damage dice for its cantrips. Note that a level 17 wizard for example has less spell slots than a level 20 one, despite both being able to cast 9th level spells. Of course for very powerful spellcasting monsters, spell slot progression might deviate/go beyond what a level 20 wizard gets, such as it is the case with Acererak and some of my homebrew monsters :-)
Right off the bat, I love the fell manifestations - love the idea of a barbarians rage being more than just anger, and unsettling is really something I get into with this stuff. Demon Form seems powerful, especially in hordes or against enemies with a lot of attacks. I wonderif perhaps it would be better as a reaction, rather than guaranteed damage on every hit.
The counter-damage is modelled after Armor of Agathys, admittedly, a barbarian does have significantly more potential to use this than the 5-50 THP of a warlock's armor, and they do stack.
Clarifying the reckless attack advantage isn't needed here, as nothing contradicts it.
Reckless Attack actually does specify "melee weapon attack," which disqualifies thrown attacks since they'd be "a ranged attack with a melee weapon." Wording is fun like that. Though I'd have to fix the wording either way, since Rage has the same clause for the damage bonus and I didn't specify there. The Giant Barbarian UA had a similar issue.
Creating dark energy on an attack action, and it disappearing after the attack, leads to questions about how this interacts with multiattack - do you get one attack with it per turn, or can you use it for multiple attacks? I wonder if this might have been better as an effect you add to your normal weapon?
The dark energy lasts throughout your turn, so you can make as many attacks as you want to with it. I don't know how you'd go about that - maybe Dual Wielder and an opportunity attack - but you could. Making it an effect that could be applied to a weapon sounds neat, might use that idea sometime.
Squeezing through the gaps is cool, and very creepy. It's already limited in uses by being part of rage, so is pretty well balanced. I like that Nether Aspect is social rather than combat, it balances the subclass well. Cursebearer is also very cool, and unique, which I like.
All good things to hear.
Reckless Abbadon is oddly named, and I feel like it is a bit clunky, with damaging yourself. I imaging manifesting wings to be a one-time AOE which pushes people away, followed by the ability to fly for an amount of time. Not so sure about this ability.
It's a pun. Reckless Abandon + Abbadon (a demon). Visually, I imagine it as more like rocket jumping. My first thought was to just make it flight like a lot of sorcerer subclasses do, but then I realized that for some reason Eagle Totem had a nerfed version of flight that makes you fall every turn, which seems unnecessary when it's already limited to rage and you're a melee locked class? Well, regardless, I didn't want it to overshadow Eagle at its own thing, so I gave it a tradeoff of exploding to fly at greater speed.
As a side note, this class would lend very well to a resistance to Necrotic damage while raging. All in all a very good concept and well presented, just needs a little bit of tidying up!
Question. Is the scoring by total score, or by average score? Total score makes it effectively count as a 0 for anyone you don't vote on, and maybe people might not be comfortable with judging every single submission if they're, say, not familiar with creating settings or monsters or subclasses. Making it an average score gets around those issues.
Also: "As described in the “Voting” section of this competition, you cannot vote on any of your own entries. Simply act as if they didn’t exist on the forms, you can still vote for everyone else’s submissions. This is an honor rule, since there is no way to enforce this, but we trust that contestants will do their best not to break this rule." Could that be solved by having a "This one was mine" option for voting? Assume anyone without any votes for "this one was mine" was cheating and subtract their highest score. It'd mean everyone would be required to vote if only to ensure that they have a vote for themselves saying they didn't cheat, but along with not having to vote for everyone that should help mitigate trust issues.
Mind you, I have no idea if that's actually been an issue, but. Better to have the option and not need it, you know?
In previous contests we always took the average. Makes the most sense and is the fairest way considering different entries got different amounts of votes.
To whoever wrote that feedback:
Love the idea here; not original, but a very strong take on a common idea. Lacks anything substantial to use in combat, though.
Did you read the submission? Did you miss the fine print, literally? :-D
Imposing disadvantage on a saving throw against a spell can be substantial in combat by itself, and with The Fine Print you can deal a lot of damage when you do it, regardless of whether the creature saves or not. I think this is quite powerful, although quite different from other warlocks as well.
Of course the infernal pacts hold a lot of combat power as well, Hex or Spirit Shroud on a fighter, Eldritch Blast on a sorcerer or bard, Booming Blade on a rogue, Devil's Sight + Darkness... are just some examples of what you can do. And with the Greater Infernal Pact the receiver also gets what basically is a Fiend warlock's 1st level ability on top of that :-)
Also: "As described in the “Voting” section of this competition, you cannot vote on any of your own entries. Simply act as if they didn’t exist on the forms, you can still vote for everyone else’s submissions. This is an honor rule, since there is no way to enforce this, but we trust that contestants will do their best not to break this rule." Could that be solved by having a "This one was mine" option for voting? Assume anyone without any votes for "this one was mine" was cheating and subtract their highest score. It'd mean everyone would be required to vote if only to ensure that they have a vote for themselves saying they didn't cheat, but along with not having to vote for everyone that should help mitigate trust issues.
To me, forcing everyone to vote or lose points is not a good option. I, for one, simply have not had time to vote (and so I also cannot, unfortunately, see how things are scoring). I (and probably many others) would not be pleased at the prospect of subtracting points for a simple lack of time. And it really does take a while to go through everything.
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Paladin main who spends most of his D&D time worldbuilding or DMing, not Paladin-ing.
I'm content to go by an honour system. If someone votes themselves a "10" and then wins, they will have to live with knowing that they didn't really win, and that their win is meaningless.
It's not like there's any tangible prize, except to pick a category, which stops you from competing in that category, meaning that if someone does cheat - which I don't think they would - then they wouldn't be able to do it every time.
Personally I just left a feedback on mine saying "this one was mine!" and didn't give a score, and it didn't give me a "0" vote. I do agree that we shouldn't be forced to vote, not least because I can only do it when I'm on my crappy home network which I rarely go on!
Ok, I've voted and offered feedback on a couple of the DM options. A reminder to everyone else that voting ends at noon (EST) tomorrow and that the winners will be announced then. Just one quick question, does the person with the highest rated individual entry win? Or is it the person with the highest average score across all of their entries? I'm pretty sure it's the former, but I just wanted to confirm.
Also: "As described in the “Voting” section of this competition, you cannot vote on any of your own entries. Simply act as if they didn’t exist on the forms, you can still vote for everyone else’s submissions. This is an honor rule, since there is no way to enforce this, but we trust that contestants will do their best not to break this rule." Could that be solved by having a "This one was mine" option for voting? Assume anyone without any votes for "this one was mine" was cheating and subtract their highest score. It'd mean everyone would be required to vote if only to ensure that they have a vote for themselves saying they didn't cheat, but along with not having to vote for everyone that should help mitigate trust issues.
Mind you, I have no idea if that's actually been an issue, but. Better to have the option and not need it, you know?
We actually had an in depth discussion of this honor rule at the end of COTFB X. The opinion that was commonly voiced there was that not everybody who participates in the competition wants to vote. I was just working on the forms to see the average score of each entry so far, and I saw that 3-4 people who participated in the competition had a vote for each voter, meaning that they did not vote for themselves. Penalizing these users would likely be problematic, and it would discourage people from participating in the competition.
Personally, I trust everybody in this competition with no exceptions.
Anyways, there is not a monetary prize, in fact there is not a reward whatsoever, for winning. Winning the competition just means you have to start the next one and winning the category just means you cant participate in it next time. Personally, I joined the competition mostly just for feedback. Not only would cheating to win mean that I wouldn't be able to live with myself, but it would also mean that I would be unable to get more feedback next competition.
So while your proposal is interesting, it would raise more problems than it solves. In my eyes at least, discouraging people from participating in the competition isn't worth an unnecessary and precautionary cheating measure.
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Think it could still use a little more base damage, still a really good spell though
I actually agree it should have more, but it already has the potential to do waaay too much damage for a 5th-level spell. As-is, if the spell lasts for the whole minute, the target isn't a fiend, and you use the flare bonus action every round, it does an average of 139 damage. Cone of cold averages 36. The strength here is in the ongoing damage, especially since it leaves your action free for instant-damage-type spells (read: eldritch blast).
Why is it an evocation, rather than Conjuration?
I apologize for making this very unclear, but the chains are basically made of the essence of the Nine Hells, and they vanish if the spell ends. At least in my head, it doesn't really create actual chains, just magical force that looks a feels like chains. Does that help explain?
A lot more flavorful than Hold Monster. Also seems like it'd be significantly weaker though, at least in combat.
Really, it just depends on your party composition. A party that doesn't benefit as much from crits as, say, a party with a bunch of paladins and rogues, might like this more. It still gives advantage on attacks, and it does a ton of damage itself. Another upside is that monster's Strength modifiers are often lower than their Wisdom Save modifiers, and it takes an action to attempt to end the spell.
You saying "at least in combat" makes me try to think of non-combat uses for this... and I immediately think "Huh. I just accidentally created quite the torture device.")
My only critique is how does it work, mechanically, that the creature needs to use its action to discern its not in the nine hells AND needs to use its action to end the binding? Does it have to discern its true environment before it can attempt to escape? If not, it feels like just breaking out of the chains will kill two birds with one stone.
Yeah, this is another of the weirdnesses of the spell. It does not have to discern that it's being tricked to be able to attempt to escape the spell. I guess it's mostly in there for potential roleplay-ish situations (even if it's in combat), just so a DM can know how to handle it. (That makes me imagine casting this on a PC... man, that's just evil.)
Love the idea. Unfortunately the spell is inferior in basically every way to Hold Monster (and Hold Person against humanoids), the little bit of damage it deals is outweighed by the auto-crits granted by Hold Monster's paralysis. Should be a 4th or 3rd level spell and deal more damage. Also needs much better scaling when upcast - for comparison, Hold Person/Monster add additional targets when upcast.
Little bit of damage? A possible average of 139 is a little bit? I mean, I guess that's less than several crits from a high-level Sneak Attack or Divine Smite, but.... :) As I mentioned before, it's also harder to escape the spell. (Also, and even though I know this will never, ever happen, casting it at 9th level can get over 500 damage if you roll max, or nearly so.)
Thank you all for the positive and constructive feedback!
(Also if I'm just wrong about the damage it's likely to actually do, someone please let me know, with at least summaries of the math. Balancing is hard XD)
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Paladin main who spends most of his D&D time worldbuilding or DMing, not Paladin-ing.
The 139 damage only happens if the spell lasts for its full duration, which is very unlikely, the monster will die or escape before the entirety of 10 turns has passed :-)
This spell deals 1d10 damage per turn plus another 2d6 if the caster uses their bonus action - which means they cannot use their bonus action for stuff like Spiritual Weapon, quickened cantrips or other bonus action attacks if they want to deal that damage.
Hold Monster, for comparison, makes a level 11 fighter with a glaive deal at least 3d10 extra damage, and then you have to factor in that they likely can attack again as a bonus action with either Polearm Master or Great Weapon Master, that their weapon might be magical and deal more damage than usual - maybe it deals an additional 1d6 fire or cold damage - and that they might be able to add other damage dice to their attacks with class features, such as superiority dice. With all that factored in, you are more likely looking at something like 4d10+4d6+1d8 extra damage dealt by Hold Monster just on the fighter's one turn. And that can easily be higher, for example if they use a spell like Hex via Fey-Touched and of course if they are a half-orc.
With a Barbarian instead of a fighter, it would not be much different, with brutal criticals and a greataxe they deal 2d12 extra damage per hit or a total of 4d12 with their two attacks against a Hold Monster-paralyzed target before factoring in other modifiers and a potential bonus action attack.
Rangers have Favored Foe, Hunter's Mark and other ways to add damage to their attacks, Rogues have sneak attack and Paladins can smite, each cantrip that crits at level 11 deals 3 more dice of damage, and a paralyzed target automatically fails Strength and Dexterity saves, which increases the damage dealt by spells and abilities that force these kinds of saving throws as well.
Hold Monster for Hold Monster also has the nice effect of the target being unable to do anything, while a creature restrained and blinded by your spell can still act, attack, use legendary actions, breath weapons, spells, whatever it can do.
I think another good comparison is Maximilian's earthen grasp. That spell restrains one target too and can deal 2d6 bludgeoning damage per round, which is much less resisted than fire damage, although it requires a full action for that. However, unlike most other save-or-sucks, if the target saves, this spell is not wasted, the earthen hand remains for the full duration and the caster can attempt to restrain the target again without having to re-cast the spell. This is a 2nd level spell.
I may be in the minority here, but I love DMing epic and overly complicated monsters because I feel it makes combat more exciting and allows the DM to mix it up a bit each time they decide what the monster does. Mechanically and lore-wise, this monster is excellent. That being said, it really could have used a read-through for grammar and spelling errors. Personally, I try to copy and paste my homebrew into google drive so that I can use spell check before copy and pasting it back into DDB’s homebrewer tools. (You also might want to use command F to search for “Noone”;)
I am glad someone thinks like me in regards to boss battles :-)
I actually used Word's spellchecker, but made some changes to the text afterwards and then forgot to check again. English is not my mother tongue, I thought "noone" is written as one single word just like the word for no one in my native language. I checked again and did not find any error besides "noone" and "discernable" though - although Word loves to mark monster names like Juiblex as errors (and it marked some double-spaces as grammar errors...). Am I missing something? I think over-all my statblocks are quite clean in terms of writing, compared to other homebrew statblocks I find on the webs? :-)
I may be in the minority here, but I love DMing epic and overly complicated monsters because I feel it makes combat more exciting and allows the DM to mix it up a bit each time they decide what the monster does. Mechanically and lore-wise, this monster is excellent. That being said, it really could have used a read-through for grammar and spelling errors. Personally, I try to copy and paste my homebrew into google drive so that I can use spell check before copy and pasting it back into DDB’s homebrewer tools. (You also might want to use command F to search for “Noone”;)
I am glad someone thinks like me in regards to boss battles :-)
I actually used Word's spellchecker, but made some changes to the text afterwards and then forgot to check again. English is not my mother tongue, I thought "noone" is written as one single word just like the word for no one in my native language. I checked again and did not find any error besides "noone" and "discernable" though - although Word loves to mark monster names like Juiblex as errors (and it marked some double-spaces as grammar errors...). Am I missing something? I think over-all my statblocks are quite clean in terms of writing, compared to other homebrew statblocks I find on the webs? :-)
Compared to other homebrew stat-blocks, your writing is certainly clean. That being said, there are a sizable amount of spelling and grammar errors sprinkled throughout the stat-block and lore. Ir's not a big deal, but here are a couple of the other errors that I noticed:
"I see an altered version of reality, with my mind convincing itself that I am an ooze and have the abilities of an ooze."
The target must succeed on a DC 26 Constitution saving throw or is they become slimed.
If its penalty drops to −5, the weapon is destroyed..
Each creature in its space must make a DC 26 Strength saving throw or isthey are knocked prone.
Also, on an unrelated note: is the winner the person who has the highest rated entry? Or is it the person with the highest average score across all of their entries?
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BoringBard's long and tedious posts somehow manage to enrapture audiences. How? Because he used Charm Person, the #1 bard spell!
He/him pronouns. Call me Bard. PROUD NERD!
Ever wanted to talk about your parties' worst mistakes? Do so HERE. What's your favorite class, why? Share & explainHERE.
I may be in the minority here, but I love DMing epic and overly complicated monsters because I feel it makes combat more exciting and allows the DM to mix it up a bit each time they decide what the monster does. Mechanically and lore-wise, this monster is excellent. That being said, it really could have used a read-through for grammar and spelling errors. Personally, I try to copy and paste my homebrew into google drive so that I can use spell check before copy and pasting it back into DDB’s homebrewer tools. (You also might want to use command F to search for “Noone”;)
I am glad someone thinks like me in regards to boss battles :-)
I actually used Word's spellchecker, but made some changes to the text afterwards and then forgot to check again. English is not my mother tongue, I thought "noone" is written as one single word just like the word for no one in my native language. I checked again and did not find any error besides "noone" and "discernable" though - although Word loves to mark monster names like Juiblex as errors (and it marked some double-spaces as grammar errors...). Am I missing something? I think over-all my statblocks are quite clean in terms of writing, compared to other homebrew statblocks I find on the webs? :-)
Compared to other homebrew stat-blocks, your writing is certainly clean. That being said, there are a sizable amount of spelling and grammar errors sprinkled throughout the stat-block and lore. Ir's not a big deal, but here are a couple of the other errors that I noticed:
"I see an altered version of reality, with my mind convincing itself that I am an ooze and have the abilities of an ooze."
The target must succeed on a DC 26 Constitution saving throw or is they become slimed.
If its penalty drops to −5, the weapon is destroyed..
Each creature in its space must make a DC 26 Strength saving throw or isthey are knocked prone.
Also, on an unrelated note: is the winner the person who has the highest rated entry? Or is it the person with the highest average score across all of their entries?
It’s been changing. I did (for my competition) the highest average score across all categories, but I believe the highest entry has been done before as well.
With a total of 11 votes that actually involved voting, here is the average score of each category added together for every entry in this installment of the competition:
DM Options:
Hellfire Band – Nikoli_Goodfellow: 6.8
Inkbound Demon – Gh0styy: 8.3
Kygoros, the Lamentation of Death: 7.45
Fury-Name Page – MilestoGo_24: 7.3
Jubilex, the Faceless Lord: 7.3
Lost Notes of Iggwilv – Kaboom979: 7.7
Avatar of Ilesine – HomebrewMindFlayer: 6.7
PC Options:
Shadowcraft – Yondor_The_Fantastic: 6.73
Hellbind – Helmut_McQuack: 7.73
Devil’s Trickery – BoringBard: 7.5
Demonic Tiefling – Thauraeln_The_Bold: 6.7
The Knowers Guide to Infernal Control – Kaboom979: 8.2
The Pact Primeval Warlock – Semako: 8.78
Fiendish Charm – Gh0styy: 6.7
The Curse of The Fiendtouched – ImmortalArizona: 7.9
The Path of the Hellbringer – 99s: 7.22
Infernal Pact – HomebrewMindFlayer: 7.3
Inspirational Options:
The Astral Sea Garbage Patch – ThorukDuckSlayer: 8.8
Spelljamming Mishaps – Kaboom979: 8.1
Category Winners:
DM Options: Gh0styy
PC Options: Semako
Inspirational Options: ThorukDuckSlayer
Competition Winner: By a margin of 0.02 points, ThorukDuckSlayer wins COTFB XI!
PS- Please let me know if you think I made any errors with my math. I did it on a spreadsheet and double checked everything.
I’m very confused as to the grading of the submissions. You stated that you used the averages, but the way you wrote them doesn’t make much sense. For example, Inkbound Demon’s score is 3 while others are above 5.
I’m very confused as to the grading of the submissions. You stated that you used the averages, but the way you wrote them doesn’t make much sense. For example, Inkbound Demon’s score is 3 while others are above 5.
My bad, Inkbound Demons score is an 8.3, which is the highest in the DM's category. I thought I had typed in the 8 and decimal point, but must not have. Idea/Creativity and Balance/Playability are averaged out and added together to determine an entries score, which is why these scores are all out of 10. Either way of presenting it will give the same result, but I added the average of each score together because that's what Kaboom did in the last competition.
Edit: I also realized I had a couple of typos that changed some of the scores a bit. I've fixed those errors, so everything should be correct now. My apologies for any previous mistakes. (For example, I had accidentally written a 7.8 for the Pact Primeval Warlock when it was really an 8.78.)
With a total of 11 votes that actually involved voting, here is the average score of each category added together for every entry in this installment of the competition:
DM Options:
Hellfire Band – Nikoli_Goodfellow: 6.8
Inkbound Demon – Gh0styy: 8.3
Kygoros, the Lamentation of Death: 7.45
Fury-Name Page – MilestoGo_24: 7.3
Jubilex, the Faceless Lord: 7.3
Lost Notes of Iggwilv – Kaboom979: 7.7
Avatar of Ilesine – HomebrewMindFlayer: 6.7
PC Options:
Shadowcraft – Yondor_The_Fantastic: 6.73
Hellbind – Helmut_McQuack: 7.73
Devil’s Trickery – BoringBard
Demonic Tiefling – Thauraeln_The_Bold: 6.7
The Knowers Guide to Infernal Control – Kaboom979: 8.2
The Pact Primeval Warlock – Semako: 8.78
Fiendish Charm – Gh0styy: 6.7
The Curse of The Fiendtouched – ImmortalArizona: 7.9
The Path of the Hellbringer – 99s: 7.22
Infernal Pact – HomebrewMindFlayer: 7.3
Inspirational Options:
The Astral Sea Garbage Patch – ThorukDuckSlayer: 8.8
Spelljamming Mishaps – Kaboom979: 8.1
Category Winners:
DM Options: Gh0styy
PC Options: Semako
Inspirational Options: ThorukDuckSlayer
Competition Winner: By a margin of 0.02 points, ThorukDuckSlayer wins COTFB XI!
PS- Please let me know if you think I made any errors with my math. I did it on a spreadsheet and double checked everything.
wow didn't realize my submission was enjoyed that much! glad to actually place in my first CotFB. Congrats to my fellow contestants and winner. These were awesome categories and I look forward to maybe using some of this homebrew in the future. Really creative ideas. Looking forward to the next contest!
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Updog
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In response to the Inkbound demon feedback:
#1: Thank you! I enjoyed writing the little bio/short story, I think it helps give it some flavor.
#2: Yeah, that appears to be a mechanical issue I completely overlooked. It's supposed to say the detect thoughts spell. Obviously can't fix it now that the contest is underway, but I will make the change for future versions.
#3: I wouldn't say possession is problematic necessarily, just that it can make combat a little more complex. But this ability also has use outside of combat, like manipulating an npc in a creepy way, making them do something weird, or even trying to manipulate a pc non-violently to achieve its goals. However, I like your suggestion to allow it to possess books and scrolls. Although I'd have to go in a little more in-depth mechanically to accomplish that, I like the way it sounds. My original goal for this ability was for the demon to use this ability in more of an intrigue/psychological horror sort of way, as these types of demons aren't necessarily the hack n slash combat chaos types so much as those who like to cause chaos through manipulation. However, I was already considering changing the wording of its possession feature in a later version, so I might end up changing it to more like what you said. Thanks!
EDIT: also just realized the attack mod for its claws are wrong; should be +10 XD
Updog
Gonn answer something
So, 1, fair. The conditional mechanics and dialogue make it seem like an encounter but that was more to let the creature know fully where the power is coming from. Second, I could've clarified better, it's because the creature wakes up early from the long rest due to the appearance of the Dealer.
Also this one
Also very fair, true, it probably would've been a good idea to move the amount you need to fail up to three or something, but I never got around to it. :p
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Due to the joys of Firewalls I haven't been able t ovote yet, I will try to either later or tomorrow!
I have written up some feedback for them all though, because I know it's nice to have feedback!
Hellfire Band:
This one was quite cool, and the ability to effectively wish for things with an infernal being which requests favours I find to be awesome for storytelling. There are a few bits in the fomatting that are to be desired, such as “gain a flying speed equal to double their movement speed, and there appears to be no contingency for gaining a gft and then removing the band - or if the band can be removed at all!
Inkbound Demon:
This is a very cool concept, and has strong storytelling capabilities as well as being a fierce opponent in combat. The possession ability is petty scary, as there is no capacity to repeat the save, and as such a PC could easily be lost to the players if they are possessed and then escape - I would have had the ability to repeat the save at dawn, just to give them a chance of being freed! However, the perma-possession makes for a cool puppetmaster BBEG, where you think you've won but wait, what's this inky pool coming from the evil overlord? All in all I love it, and it's well written, and the save thing is personal taste more than anything so is not enough to remove marks.
Kygoros, the Lamentation of death:
This is a big bad boss beasty, and I can see it being used as a dungeon-crawl boss into the plane of the Abyss. The ability to spawn minions in his lair is a good way to make the fight more interesting, and I like the flavour of death and sorrow - though it may not mesh with every table! The high CR leaves him exclusively for high tier games. The teleport ability seems perhaps out of place, but can help make him more of a threat, which is good for the game!
Fury-Name Page
A cool concept and a nice bit of imagery, but I would not like this as a DM - for starters, it requires that the players have an intimate knowledge of what each demon can do, and in a game about demons, that promotes meta-gaming. I would have preferred a list of spells and perhaps a charge level (EG using low spells from low demons as 1 charge, and more powerful spells as 3-4 charges, and the page regains charges each day). I'd also perhaps have considered having them on a roll table for those who don't speak abyssal, and cannot decide which spell gets used when they read it!
Jubilex, the Faceless Lord
My first impression was "wow, that's a lot of stat block". Reading through, it looks like a hell of an enemy to face, and to run! Being Gargantuan and with a movement of 20ft, this thing is literally moving like the Blob from the classic film. Amorphous combines Immutable Form, Amorphous, and Swarm rules into one thing, though the occupying another creatures space is worded that they would take damage when they are moved onto and then also when they start their turn, making movement perhaps the most potent attack of the monster, and something of a feel-bad for the players (oh, you take damage again, now make your decisions!). Corrosive horror affecting magical items is also very potent! With the volume of HP, the ability to regain HP, and being amorphous ooze that is huge, I feel like the high AC of 15 is unnecessary - players should be hitting this thing easily and regretting it immediately! The slime abilities of the pseudopod attack add another thing to remember, and the con save or be slimed seems a little off, I might have chosen dexterity to dodge the slime! Loathsme presence can render a character out of position and useless for swathes of the battle. Memory Drain is slightly wordy for what it does, as by the time you're up to a D20 then you'll have spent 6 turns engulfed, and will have taken an average of 264 points of damage from Memory Drain and 252 points of damage from Corrosive Horror, so chances are that PC is dead before all this wording comes into effect. Hungering Sewer is a cool ability and I like the nature of it. Circle of the Fetid Prince adds more to do, and the Corruption one gives out exhaustion on an almost-guaranteed basis, on a monster which guarantees to be a long fight. I think it might be too much. Pestilent Bile further adds to the options, and the effects, and another roll on a table.
The monster is well written and definitely fits the horrifyingly disgusting theme it was setting out to achieve. I feel that, as a stat block, it is too much - there is a lot going on, and by the time you expand the various ables, spells, madnesses, diseases, and so on, what a DM can do with this monster could fill several pages. That makes it very difficult to use to its full potential, and liable to have its effects missed or forgotten. And now I find Lair Actions, which makes for even more to remember!
I do like the effort that has gone into this beast, and I feel with the right amount of preparation, a DM could use this and do it justice, but a lot of us DMs would be put off by the sheer volume here, and would probably homebrew it down to an easier to run level. Some of the abilities consider such edge-cases (such as a PC surviving over 500 points of damage to fall unconscious from memory drain) that they could have been slimmed down. Wit hso much going on, some of these things were always going to slip through.
Lost Notes of Iggwilv:
These are a nice bit of flavour and additional effects for the spells, and are extremely potent in the hands of a Wizard. Being Legendary and separate items, this isn't such a problem! It's well written and fits the theme.
Avatar of Ilsensine:
This is another monolith of a statblock, and as such is destined to probably only ever be used once, if at all, by any DM, and then as a final boss, and is likely to miss things or abilities out. Astral Avatar effectively gives this thing 864hp. The merging of the astral plane with the material plane is a cool effect. Tendrils of though is missin gthe DC for the intelligence saving throw, and "reversed" is misspelt. Psychic defence is written as though it were for a player character, as it implies that Ilsensine can wield a shield, which does not make sense in the imagery. Telepathic Hub is a nice touch and makes the normal issues with telepathy go away somewhat! Innate Spellcasting lists Ilsensine as a 20th level spellcaster, which I believe means a 9th level spellcaster, again mixing verbage from player characters and monsters - a 20th level barbarian spellcaster knows no spells! Big list of spells to pick through, so a DM needs t oswat up before the fight to make the most of the monster. Multiattack is misspelt as "mutliattack". Tendril of Thought is a cool ability, hough the wording repeats the creation of the tendril, it could have read "If this damage reduces the target to 0 hit points, the target is instantly killed, Ilsensine regains hit points equal to the amount of damage it dealt, and gains another tendril of length 10 feet which represents the creature Ilsensine just killed.", to avoid confusion. Create Minion is a cool and creepy ability, but needs clarification for saving throws, as it only has AC and HP. Psychic Explosion, as written, affects the Avatar as well and does not specify radius or diameter for the sphere, but now I see that he can extend the tentacles, which is cool. Aberrent Form uses odd language (extruding something means it comes out of it, like extruding a tentacle. Exuding means it comes out like a mist or feeling, which I think was the desired meaning). It's terrifying that there is no range or planar limits - once you're afraid, you might die of fright no matter where you run! Mind Screen is going to take some rolepla to work, which I like in a combat, and is a good step-up for the halfway point of the fight. Lair actions are nice (though proficiency is spelt wrong in Mystic Knowledge). Overall it's a cool statblock, with a few typos and some wonky bits (shield, level 20 spellcaster). There are a few references to other books in there, which is testament to this being a big final boss, and Ithink it works well.
Shadowcraft:
I love the "shadow-man" aspect of this, and think it's a very cool cantrip. I would probably aim to reword it a little, as it specifies that you can only have two non-instantaneous effects, but there are no instantaneous effects listed - they all last an hour! Maybe adding some flickers, growing, and darkening effects would be pretty cool. The 5-foot cube makes for an odd way to measure a shadow, as shadows can be longer or shorter depending on the light source, and I would probably have gone by object size - starting with medium or smaller, and then growing to large, huge, and gargantuan as you level up. That said, I can't see how the size of the shadow you manipulate would really affect the power of the spell, as it's more of a flavour spell! Definitely one I may adapt for my games.
Hellbind:
This spell is very cool, full of flavour and I love that it fools them into thinking they have been dragged to the nine hells. My initial thought as I read it was that it was written differently to normal spells (normally detailing what happens on a failure and then on a success, half damage and the spell ends), but then the upcasting justified the difference. A very good submission, I think.
Devil's Trickery:
The spell at first seems underpowered, but when the effect on those immune to being charmed comes in it fits well. I like that it is limited to Humanoids, to avoid unwanted effects. The appearance change is pretty good, though the tail is unlikely to ever have an effect, I feel, and could have been a bit more obvious!
Demonic Tiefling
This is a nice option for players, and gives good flavour without going OTT on the power. I feel like this tiefling is not much different in power to a normal tiefling, and has some nice options & flavour, making it well balanced.
The Knower’s Guide to Infernal Control
There is clearly a lot of work that has gone into this, and it shows. The flavour of the invocations is very cool, and the higher level ones give you something to look forward to being able to do when you are high enough level. I really like this one.
The Pact Primeval:
This is laid out nicely, and neatly fits on one page, which I like. Born to negotiate reads a little weirdly, as it says "on a success, the creature..." which made me think that this was if the creature succeeded, but it actually meant if you succeeded. Perhaps it would be better written as the creature making a save against your contested roll, to smooth this out, along the lines of "Moreover, when you cast a Warlock spell which targets a single creatre using a Warlock spell slot, you can force the creature to roll a Wisdom saving throw against your contested Charisma (Deception) check. On a failure, the creature believes you are casting a harmless spell and has disadvantage on the first saving throw against this spell. On a success however, it has advantage on the first saving throw against this spell.", or thereabouts. Bound by Signature is cool, though I feel it should work the other way - when a creature signs a contract with you. The phrase "for an infinite amount of time" might sound better as "indefinitely". Infernal Pact is a cool feature, letting you share your powers out, and makes for great party roleplay & dynamics I feel, as well as letting the party work together to make cool combos! The Fine Print is a neat feature with plenty of flavour that may or may not come up in a game, but it still has practical applications, which is good. Greater Infernal Pact builds the class well and really cements this as a buff-warlock, which is a good niche to build into. All in all, I like this a lot.
Fiendish Charm
A nice addition to a trickery-themed character who doesn't want to go the conventional routes. I can't see Distort Value as I don't have the content, but I can guess what it does! Suggestion fits pretty well too, and level 3 for a 2nd level spell is pretty good, though this will only affect a variant human or if the DM gives out Feats, which perhaps is a little skewed (ASI's, and therefore Feats, don't arrive until level 4 otherwise).
The Curse of the Fiendtouched:
The initial story writeup is cool, and I love the idea of these creatures just throwing curses at people as a last screw-you to their victors, so definitely something I'd like to see more of. The first 3 effects are cool, though it breaks convention by doubling the resistance. Voice of Despair is both harsher (by eliminating social encounters) and more powerful (by having a range and with talking being a free AOE attack). I like that it has a stronger curse vibe, and think it will promote roleplay to get around it. Creature of Shadow is cool, Fall from grace is also very flavourful. Desecration could use some clarification on whether you lose your racial ASI's, if they are being used in the game, and otherwise seems to have no negative effect, unless tieflings are ostracised in the game. Unholy life is nice, but very powerful - perhaps instead make it temporary hitpoints - getting this in a party which does not rely on holy healing would be a massive power boon. Damnation is very cool and flavourful, I like it a lot. Serpent i nthe Grass is a very cool one for roleplay, as the DM will likely just say that the fiend curses them, and then nothing happens. Very nice.
The Effects after the curse is removed is a nice touch, and basically is a free powerful feat that comes from being cursed, so it's entirely at the DM's discretion (and potentially a very cool way to up the power of an overshadowed character). I like this submission.
The Path of the Hellbringer:
Right off the bat, I love the fell manifestations - love the idea of a barbarians rage being more than just anger, and unsettling is really something I get into with this stuff. Demon Form seems powerful, especially in hordes or against enemies with a lot of attacks. I wonderif perhaps it would be better as a reaction, rather than guaranteed damage on every hit. Clarifying the reckless attack advantage isn't needed here, as nothing contradicts it. Creating dark energy on an attack action, and it disappearing after the attack, leads to questions about how this interacts with multiattack - do you get one attack with it per turn, or can you use it for multiple attacks? I wonder if this might have been better as an effect you add to your normal weapon? Squeezing through the gaps is cool, and very creepy. It's already limited in uses by being part of rage, so is pretty well balanced. I like that Nether Aspect is social rather than combat, it balances the subclass well. Cursebearer is also very cool, and unique, which I like. Reckless Abbadon is oddly named, and I feel like it is a bit clunky, with damaging yourself. I imaging manifesting wings to be a one-time AOE which pushes people away, followed by the ability to fly for an amount of time. Not so sure about this ability. As a side note, this class would lend very well to a resistance to Necrotic damage while raging. All in all a very good concept and well presented, just needs a little bit of tidying up!
Infernal Pact:
Took a couple of reads to understand the premise of this spell - that two creatures are making a pact to one another, with a fiend dragged in to enforce it by trying to kill the other person if they renege on the pact. The concept of the spell is solid, but I feel that this requires that the players know more about the fiends than they probably should, which risks metagaming. It might have been better to leave the fiend vague, and to have a curse land on the one who breaks the pact instead, such as not being able to heal in any way until they either complete the pact (EG steal the thing) or they have the curse removed with a wish. The appearance of a Fiend might be easily dealt with by a wizard casting Banishment, or any number of clever get-out-tactics, whereas a flat curse makes it a lot more potent, and easier to apply.
Spelljamming Mishaps:
I like the idea of a bit more random in such a wacky concept as Spelljammer, and the 5 mishaps here are nice effects, though I find the last a bit odd, as it implies that the energy is harvested in a controlled manner - I might have had it explode outwards on arrival, when they slow down to normal speeds. I'm not a fan of this being a 1 in 20 chance, with a further 1 in 6 chance of nothing happening. Once I've rolled the mishap I expect haps to be missed! Though "nothing happens" coudl refer to the drive not engaging and the ship doesn't jump to speedy-mode, which would be a cool mishap.
Overall, these are all absolutely excellent submissions - not one of which wasn't enjoyable to read through! Looking forward to seeing the results (and actually voting when I get the time!)
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Thanks for your feedback :-)
Yes, this thing is supposed to be like the Blob :-)
Amorphous uses the standard wording that is also used for spells like Spirit Guardians and means the damage procs when the creature itself moves into the dangerous area (here into Juiblex's space) or when it starts its turn there, but not when the dangerous area (here Juiblex) moves into its space.
I was considering giviing it a lower AC, but then I read various ooze statblocks and saw that oblexes have a natural AC of 16, thus I gave it a 15. Maybe lower would be better though...? Anyways, even 15 is so low that a level 20 character with a +3 weapon only misses on a natural 1 (and when factoring in items like Belts of Giant Strength and other buffs like bless,
it becomes even easierthey still miss on a natural 1).I went with the Con save as I thought it was appropriate to withstand poison and acid. The ability is inspired from the official Juiblex's corrupting touch, which has no save at all. Strength could be fitting too?
Memory drain was taken straight from the elder oblex's statblock, except for the bit about learning a spell the creature knows, which I added. Maybe it makes sense to reduce it to just draining the spell?
You might be looking at an old statblock, I have removed the Corruption option from Circle of the Fetid Prince in my last update (which I posted here) :-) https://www.dndbeyond.com/monsters/3008251-the-faceless-lord
Since you mentioned that it would have been basically impossible to avoid, you generally need to take into account that as a DM you have to adjust a monster's save DC to your party to avoid them being unable to save against certain effects. For example, in two different runs of Don't Say Vecna I once gave him a spell save DC of 21 and the other time ran him with a DC of 26 as this time there was a paladin with +5 Charisma and this party generally had much better saving throws and support options than the first party with just one cleric and a couple of fighters.
You are right, I could have written it a bit more clearer. English is not my native tongue though :-D I don't think a saving throw contested by Deception check would be a good idea though, it would not fit the flavor of the feature and contested skill checks are a thing :-)
When writing Bound by Signature, I was imagining that signing a contract always has both sides involved and thus regardless of how I write it, it would always work "both ways".
Also, while it is not my submission, I saw that you asked about Ilsensine's spellcasting level. "Level 20 spellcaster" is correct here, as Ilsensine casts as if it was a level 20 wizard, with the appropriate amount of spell slots and damage dice for its cantrips. Note that a level 17 wizard for example has less spell slots than a level 20 one, despite both being able to cast 9th level spells. Of course for very powerful spellcasting monsters, spell slot progression might deviate/go beyond what a level 20 wizard gets, such as it is the case with Acererak and some of my homebrew monsters :-)
Right off the bat, I love the fell manifestations - love the idea of a barbarians rage being more than just anger, and unsettling is really something I get into with this stuff. Demon Form seems powerful, especially in hordes or against enemies with a lot of attacks. I wonderif perhaps it would be better as a reaction, rather than guaranteed damage on every hit.
The counter-damage is modelled after Armor of Agathys, admittedly, a barbarian does have significantly more potential to use this than the 5-50 THP of a warlock's armor, and they do stack.
Clarifying the reckless attack advantage isn't needed here, as nothing contradicts it.
Reckless Attack actually does specify "melee weapon attack," which disqualifies thrown attacks since they'd be "a ranged attack with a melee weapon." Wording is fun like that. Though I'd have to fix the wording either way, since Rage has the same clause for the damage bonus and I didn't specify there. The Giant Barbarian UA had a similar issue.
Creating dark energy on an attack action, and it disappearing after the attack, leads to questions about how this interacts with multiattack - do you get one attack with it per turn, or can you use it for multiple attacks? I wonder if this might have been better as an effect you add to your normal weapon?
The dark energy lasts throughout your turn, so you can make as many attacks as you want to with it. I don't know how you'd go about that - maybe Dual Wielder and an opportunity attack - but you could. Making it an effect that could be applied to a weapon sounds neat, might use that idea sometime.
Squeezing through the gaps is cool, and very creepy. It's already limited in uses by being part of rage, so is pretty well balanced. I like that Nether Aspect is social rather than combat, it balances the subclass well. Cursebearer is also very cool, and unique, which I like.
All good things to hear.
Reckless Abbadon is oddly named, and I feel like it is a bit clunky, with damaging yourself. I imaging manifesting wings to be a one-time AOE which pushes people away, followed by the ability to fly for an amount of time. Not so sure about this ability.
It's a pun. Reckless Abandon + Abbadon (a demon). Visually, I imagine it as more like rocket jumping. My first thought was to just make it flight like a lot of sorcerer subclasses do, but then I realized that for some reason Eagle Totem had a nerfed version of flight that makes you fall every turn, which seems unnecessary when it's already limited to rage and you're a melee locked class? Well, regardless, I didn't want it to overshadow Eagle at its own thing, so I gave it a tradeoff of exploding to fly at greater speed.
As a side note, this class would lend very well to a resistance to Necrotic damage while raging. All in all a very good concept and well presented, just needs a little bit of tidying up!
Glad to hear you liked it!
... how do I quote things properly?
She/Her!
My homebrew:
Items | Races | Spells | Subclasses
Question. Is the scoring by total score, or by average score? Total score makes it effectively count as a 0 for anyone you don't vote on, and maybe people might not be comfortable with judging every single submission if they're, say, not familiar with creating settings or monsters or subclasses. Making it an average score gets around those issues.
Also: "As described in the “Voting” section of this competition, you cannot vote on any of your own entries. Simply act as if they didn’t exist on the forms, you can still vote for everyone else’s submissions. This is an honor rule, since there is no way to enforce this, but we trust that contestants will do their best not to break this rule."
Could that be solved by having a "This one was mine" option for voting? Assume anyone without any votes for "this one was mine" was cheating and subtract their highest score. It'd mean everyone would be required to vote if only to ensure that they have a vote for themselves saying they didn't cheat, but along with not having to vote for everyone that should help mitigate trust issues.
Mind you, I have no idea if that's actually been an issue, but. Better to have the option and not need it, you know?
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In previous contests we always took the average. Makes the most sense and is the fairest way considering different entries got different amounts of votes.
To whoever wrote that feedback:
Did you read the submission? Did you miss the fine print, literally? :-D
Imposing disadvantage on a saving throw against a spell can be substantial in combat by itself, and with The Fine Print you can deal a lot of damage when you do it, regardless of whether the creature saves or not. I think this is quite powerful, although quite different from other warlocks as well.
Of course the infernal pacts hold a lot of combat power as well, Hex or Spirit Shroud on a fighter, Eldritch Blast on a sorcerer or bard, Booming Blade on a rogue, Devil's Sight + Darkness... are just some examples of what you can do. And with the Greater Infernal Pact the receiver also gets what basically is a Fiend warlock's 1st level ability on top of that :-)
To me, forcing everyone to vote or lose points is not a good option. I, for one, simply have not had time to vote (and so I also cannot, unfortunately, see how things are scoring). I (and probably many others) would not be pleased at the prospect of subtracting points for a simple lack of time. And it really does take a while to go through everything.
Paladin main who spends most of his D&D time worldbuilding or DMing, not Paladin-ing.
I'm content to go by an honour system. If someone votes themselves a "10" and then wins, they will have to live with knowing that they didn't really win, and that their win is meaningless.
It's not like there's any tangible prize, except to pick a category, which stops you from competing in that category, meaning that if someone does cheat - which I don't think they would - then they wouldn't be able to do it every time.
Personally I just left a feedback on mine saying "this one was mine!" and didn't give a score, and it didn't give me a "0" vote. I do agree that we shouldn't be forced to vote, not least because I can only do it when I'm on my crappy home network which I rarely go on!
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Ok, I've voted and offered feedback on a couple of the DM options. A reminder to everyone else that voting ends at noon (EST) tomorrow and that the winners will be announced then. Just one quick question, does the person with the highest rated individual entry win? Or is it the person with the highest average score across all of their entries? I'm pretty sure it's the former, but I just wanted to confirm.
Average score. I'll update the FAQ to explain this.
We actually had an in depth discussion of this honor rule at the end of COTFB X. The opinion that was commonly voiced there was that not everybody who participates in the competition wants to vote. I was just working on the forms to see the average score of each entry so far, and I saw that 3-4 people who participated in the competition had a vote for each voter, meaning that they did not vote for themselves. Penalizing these users would likely be problematic, and it would discourage people from participating in the competition.
Personally, I trust everybody in this competition with no exceptions.
Anyways, there is not a monetary prize, in fact there is not a reward whatsoever, for winning. Winning the competition just means you have to start the next one and winning the category just means you cant participate in it next time. Personally, I joined the competition mostly just for feedback. Not only would cheating to win mean that I wouldn't be able to live with myself, but it would also mean that I would be unable to get more feedback next competition.
So while your proposal is interesting, it would raise more problems than it solves. In my eyes at least, discouraging people from participating in the competition isn't worth an unnecessary and precautionary cheating measure.
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HERE.I actually agree it should have more, but it already has the potential to do waaay too much damage for a 5th-level spell. As-is, if the spell lasts for the whole minute, the target isn't a fiend, and you use the flare bonus action every round, it does an average of 139 damage. Cone of cold averages 36. The strength here is in the ongoing damage, especially since it leaves your action free for instant-damage-type spells (read: eldritch blast).
I apologize for making this very unclear, but the chains are basically made of the essence of the Nine Hells, and they vanish if the spell ends. At least in my head, it doesn't really create actual chains, just magical force that looks a feels like chains. Does that help explain?
Really, it just depends on your party composition. A party that doesn't benefit as much from crits as, say, a party with a bunch of paladins and rogues, might like this more. It still gives advantage on attacks, and it does a ton of damage itself. Another upside is that monster's Strength modifiers are often lower than their Wisdom Save modifiers, and it takes an action to attempt to end the spell.
You saying "at least in combat" makes me try to think of non-combat uses for this... and I immediately think "Huh. I just accidentally created quite the torture device.")
Yeah, this is another of the weirdnesses of the spell. It does not have to discern that it's being tricked to be able to attempt to escape the spell. I guess it's mostly in there for potential roleplay-ish situations (even if it's in combat), just so a DM can know how to handle it. (That makes me imagine casting this on a PC... man, that's just evil.)
Little bit of damage? A possible average of 139 is a little bit? I mean, I guess that's less than several crits from a high-level Sneak Attack or Divine Smite, but.... :) As I mentioned before, it's also harder to escape the spell. (Also, and even though I know this will never, ever happen, casting it at 9th level can get over 500 damage if you roll max, or nearly so.)
Thank you all for the positive and constructive feedback!
(Also if I'm just wrong about the damage it's likely to actually do, someone please let me know, with at least summaries of the math. Balancing is hard XD)
Paladin main who spends most of his D&D time worldbuilding or DMing, not Paladin-ing.
The 139 damage only happens if the spell lasts for its full duration, which is very unlikely, the monster will die or escape before the entirety of 10 turns has passed :-)
This spell deals 1d10 damage per turn plus another 2d6 if the caster uses their bonus action - which means they cannot use their bonus action for stuff like Spiritual Weapon, quickened cantrips or other bonus action attacks if they want to deal that damage.
Hold Monster, for comparison, makes a level 11 fighter with a glaive deal at least 3d10 extra damage, and then you have to factor in that they likely can attack again as a bonus action with either Polearm Master or Great Weapon Master, that their weapon might be magical and deal more damage than usual - maybe it deals an additional 1d6 fire or cold damage - and that they might be able to add other damage dice to their attacks with class features, such as superiority dice. With all that factored in, you are more likely looking at something like 4d10+4d6+1d8 extra damage dealt by Hold Monster just on the fighter's one turn. And that can easily be higher, for example if they use a spell like Hex via Fey-Touched and of course if they are a half-orc.
With a Barbarian instead of a fighter, it would not be much different, with brutal criticals and a greataxe they deal 2d12 extra damage per hit or a total of 4d12 with their two attacks against a Hold Monster-paralyzed target before factoring in other modifiers and a potential bonus action attack.
Rangers have Favored Foe, Hunter's Mark and other ways to add damage to their attacks, Rogues have sneak attack and Paladins can smite, each cantrip that crits at level 11 deals 3 more dice of damage, and a paralyzed target automatically fails Strength and Dexterity saves, which increases the damage dealt by spells and abilities that force these kinds of saving throws as well.
Hold Monster for Hold Monster also has the nice effect of the target being unable to do anything, while a creature restrained and blinded by your spell can still act, attack, use legendary actions, breath weapons, spells, whatever it can do.
I think another good comparison is Maximilian's earthen grasp. That spell restrains one target too and can deal 2d6 bludgeoning damage per round, which is much less resisted than fire damage, although it requires a full action for that. However, unlike most other save-or-sucks, if the target saves, this spell is not wasted, the earthen hand remains for the full duration and the caster can attempt to restrain the target again without having to re-cast the spell. This is a 2nd level spell.
I am glad someone thinks like me in regards to boss battles :-)
I actually used Word's spellchecker, but made some changes to the text afterwards and then forgot to check again. English is not my mother tongue, I thought "noone" is written as one single word just like the word for no one in my native language. I checked again and did not find any error besides "noone" and "discernable" though - although Word loves to mark monster names like Juiblex as errors (and it marked some double-spaces as grammar errors...). Am I missing something? I think over-all my statblocks are quite clean in terms of writing, compared to other homebrew statblocks I find on the webs? :-)
Compared to other homebrew stat-blocks, your writing is certainly clean. That being said, there are a sizable amount of spelling and grammar errors sprinkled throughout the stat-block and lore. Ir's not a big deal, but here are a couple of the other errors that I noticed:
Also, on an unrelated note: is the winner the person who has the highest rated entry? Or is it the person with the highest average score across all of their entries?
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HERE.It’s been changing. I did (for my competition) the highest average score across all categories, but I believe the highest entry has been done before as well.
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Extended Signature
With a total of 11 votes that actually involved voting, here is the average score of each category added together for every entry in this installment of the competition:
DM Options:
PC Options:Inspirational Options:
Category Winners:
Competition Winner: By a margin of 0.02 points, ThorukDuckSlayer wins COTFB XI!
PS- Please let me know if you think I made any errors with my math. I did it on a spreadsheet and double checked everything.
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HERE.I’m very confused as to the grading of the submissions. You stated that you used the averages, but the way you wrote them doesn’t make much sense. For example, Inkbound Demon’s score is 3 while others are above 5.
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My bad, Inkbound Demons score is an 8.3, which is the highest in the DM's category. I thought I had typed in the 8 and decimal point, but must not have. Idea/Creativity and Balance/Playability are averaged out and added together to determine an entries score, which is why these scores are all out of 10. Either way of presenting it will give the same result, but I added the average of each score together because that's what Kaboom did in the last competition.
Edit: I also realized I had a couple of typos that changed some of the scores a bit. I've fixed those errors, so everything should be correct now. My apologies for any previous mistakes. (For example, I had accidentally written a 7.8 for the Pact Primeval Warlock when it was really an 8.78.)
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HERE.wow didn't realize my submission was enjoyed that much! glad to actually place in my first CotFB. Congrats to my fellow contestants and winner. These were awesome categories and I look forward to maybe using some of this homebrew in the future. Really creative ideas. Looking forward to the next contest!
Updog