“In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbithole, and that means comfort.”
I was playing with a bunch of new players, and a few vets. One of them thought it would be funny to *insert dnd beyond appropriate euphemism for intercourse here* the one hundred year old dwarven bartender. Then, upon me asking how she would handle what the dwarf thought to be a fairly serious relationship, she said “oh, crap. Ummm- can I tell her my feelings?” I said yes and then roleplayed the dwarfs rather angry response. Then I asked what her armor class was, saying that she (the dwarf) slaps her. At this point, the whole table was chanting “COMBAT, COMBAT, COMBAT!” And the pc decides to cast poison spray. The thing was though, the dwarf dodged and started screaming for help. The town guard was called and a massive combat ensued, with it ending with a large percentage of the town being leveled. The whole rest of the campaign they were much more realistic, yet bounty hunters hired by the bartenders family were rather common encounters.
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“In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbithole, and that means comfort.”
I was playing with a bunch of new players, and a few vets. One of them thought it would be funny to *insert dnd beyond appropriate euphemism for intercourse here* the one hundred year old dwarven bartender. Then, upon me asking how she would handle what the dwarf thought to be a fairly serious relationship, she said “oh, crap. Ummm- can I tell her my feelings?” I said yes and then roleplayed the dwarfs rather angry response. Then I asked what her armor class was, saying that she (the dwarf) slaps her. At this point, the whole table was chanting “COMBAT, COMBAT, COMBAT!” And the pc decides to cast poison spray. The thing was though, the dwarf dodged and started screaming for help. The town guard was called and a massive combat ensued, with it ending with a large percentage of the town being leveled. The whole rest of the campaign they were much more realistic, yet bounty hunters hired by the bartenders family were rather common encounters.
Oh Deer Lord, this brings me back to my youth when 90% of our adventures got wrecked in the first tavern we came across. Luckily those days are behind me - now our adventures get wrecked in the second tavern we come across.
I was playing with a bunch of new players, and a few vets. One of them thought it would be funny to *insert dnd beyond appropriate euphemism for intercourse here* the one hundred year old dwarven bartender. Then, upon me asking how she would handle what the dwarf thought to be a fairly serious relationship, she said “oh, crap. Ummm- can I tell her my feelings?” I said yes and then roleplayed the dwarfs rather angry response. Then I asked what her armor class was, saying that she (the dwarf) slaps her. At this point, the whole table was chanting “COMBAT, COMBAT, COMBAT!” And the pc decides to cast poison spray. The thing was though, the dwarf dodged and started screaming for help. The town guard was called and a massive combat ensued, with it ending with a large percentage of the town being leveled. The whole rest of the campaign they were much more realistic, yet bounty hunters hired by the bartenders family were rather common encounters.
Oh Deer Lord, this brings me back to my youth when 90% of our adventures got wrecked in the first tavern we came across. Luckily those days are behind me - now our adventures get wrecked in the second tavern we come across.
(Deer Lord…)
welp, time to homebrew a god!
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I'm Hecate! I've got a lotta titles, and there's no way this sig space would hold them all lol
remember that my PMs are always open to anyone who needs someone to talk to, vent to, or just shout at, and i'll always respond relatively quickly
One of my players decided to be a Sorcerer. Being the chaos gremlin he is, he asked me if he could roll on the wild magic surge table after every spell he casts (instead of just when he gets a 1). Thinking it would be interesting, I let him. He came back for the next session with 11 new tables to be roll on. That way he'd never get the same effect twice in the same session. Still intrigued, I went with it. The thing is, I forgot to read the effects that he came up with. Long story short, he accidently permanently turned everything within a mile radius black (including the PCs and NPCs), he put every human in the town to sleep (including the party's cleric and paladin), he shrunk himself and enlarged the bad guy, he lit half the town on fire and froze the other half, he charmed every dwarf in the town, he poisoned all the food and water, and he animated every weapon in the town (they were NOT friendly). He also somehow seriously buffed the Bard's Vicious Mockery, so the Bard one-shot the Wolf King (the leader of the pack of wolves attacking the village) by calling his mother a wereboar (which wasn't far from the truth). As you can probably tell, I use a lot of homebrew. This was probably a mistake, but in order to induce creativity in my players, I told them that if they come up with any idea that isn't too OP, makes sense with their character, and will make everything more interesting and fun, I'd let them do it.
My players came upon a roper and piercer cavern over water finding a boat with holes in it and a skeleton with a hole in its skull. It was a six man party but a three man boat. Rather than making an ice sheet and getting towed, they split the party. Three people in the middle of the water getting snatched up out of line of sight beyond the stalactites in the middle of a lake while getting hailed on by piercers. The land party basically watched Will Smith getting slammed around during baby delivery. I didn't even have the heart to bring up the froghemoth from underneath.
My players came upon a roper and piercer cavern over water finding a boat with holes in it and a skeleton with a hole in its skull. It was a six man party but a three man boat. Rather than making an ice sheet and getting towed, they split the party. Three people in the middle of the water getting snatched up out of line of sight beyond the stalactites in the middle of a lake while getting hailed on by piercers. The land party basically watched Will Smith getting slammed around during baby delivery. I didn't even have the heart to bring up the froghemoth from underneath.
that's why they say, "never split the party"
D&D is for fun and fun can come from stupid ideas like splitting the party... :)
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BoringBard's long and tedious posts somehow manage to enrapture audiences. How? Because he used Charm Person, the #1 bard spell!
He/him pronouns. Call me Bard. PROUD NERD!
Ever wanted to talk about your parties' worst mistakes? Do so HERE. What's your favorite class, why? Share & explainHERE.
Dwarf barbarian in my party stealthed into a cave carrying his sleeping bag along the ceiling wearing slippers of spider climbing. Dropped down on a sahuagin champion using the sleeping bag like a net. Gave this little chance of working but the dice had a story to tell.
was playing a one shot where many adventurers had been called into this mansion to complete riddles. I was this small elf bard and i hit nat 20 when trying to rizz up goliath, adventurers were dying trying to defeat beasts and monsters but all you could hear from the room next door was the banging of a small elf and a goliath. i also had to roll to see if i would live through this ordeal as my character was half the size of goliath.
my party ran into a pack of cockatryx they were all level 5 i was new and only level 1 my best friend tried to "negotiate" by kidnapping the baby cockatryx and i died fighting them after the baby screamed and summoned double the packs size
My party was trapped on a hanging stone platform over a pit of lava. Allow me to set the scene: the room is cavernous, and chains dangle where other platforms apparently crumbled into the lava. Upon one wall, above a door, is a carving of a beholder surrounded by a circle of ten fish. Upon the platform, chunks of rock have tumbled from the ceiling and now lay still. They were supposed to take one of the rocks and chuck it at the beholder's main eye using the sling which the wizard had, which would raise a bridge from the lava, but no. Instead, the rogue decides to swing across to the beholder carving using the chains. I told him to roll for Acrobatics. He had a bonus of 8 because of expertise. The total of each roll? 23, 25, and a nat 20 for 28. THEN he presses the eye and gets them out.
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Please, someone let me out of here! I've started eating the moths and rats! Yes, you have rats. Please don't get an exterminator, the moths have no flavor!
That’s rough
“In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbithole, and that means comfort.”
I was playing with a bunch of new players, and a few vets. One of them thought it would be funny to *insert dnd beyond appropriate euphemism for intercourse here* the one hundred year old dwarven bartender. Then, upon me asking how she would handle what the dwarf thought to be a fairly serious relationship, she said “oh, crap. Ummm- can I tell her my feelings?” I said yes and then roleplayed the dwarfs rather angry response. Then I asked what her armor class was, saying that she (the dwarf) slaps her. At this point, the whole table was chanting “COMBAT, COMBAT, COMBAT!” And the pc decides to cast poison spray. The thing was though, the dwarf dodged and started screaming for help. The town guard was called and a massive combat ensued, with it ending with a large percentage of the town being leveled. The whole rest of the campaign they were much more realistic, yet bounty hunters hired by the bartenders family were rather common encounters.
“In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbithole, and that means comfort.”
Oh Deer Lord, this brings me back to my youth when 90% of our adventures got wrecked in the first tavern we came across. Luckily those days are behind me - now our adventures get wrecked in the second tavern we come across.
Finland GMT/UTC +2
(Deer Lord…)
welp, time to homebrew a god!
I'm Hecate! I've got a lotta titles, and there's no way this sig space would hold them all lol
remember that my PMs are always open to anyone who needs someone to talk to, vent to, or just shout at, and i'll always respond relatively quickly
The Younger Twin (by ten minutes)
Extended signature: Here
One of my players decided to be a Sorcerer. Being the chaos gremlin he is, he asked me if he could roll on the wild magic surge table after every spell he casts (instead of just when he gets a 1). Thinking it would be interesting, I let him. He came back for the next session with 11 new tables to be roll on. That way he'd never get the same effect twice in the same session. Still intrigued, I went with it. The thing is, I forgot to read the effects that he came up with. Long story short, he accidently permanently turned everything within a mile radius black (including the PCs and NPCs), he put every human in the town to sleep (including the party's cleric and paladin), he shrunk himself and enlarged the bad guy, he lit half the town on fire and froze the other half, he charmed every dwarf in the town, he poisoned all the food and water, and he animated every weapon in the town (they were NOT friendly). He also somehow seriously buffed the Bard's Vicious Mockery, so the Bard one-shot the Wolf King (the leader of the pack of wolves attacking the village) by calling his mother a wereboar (which wasn't far from the truth). As you can probably tell, I use a lot of homebrew. This was probably a mistake, but in order to induce creativity in my players, I told them that if they come up with any idea that isn't too OP, makes sense with their character, and will make everything more interesting and fun, I'd let them do it.
That is why you shouldn't let players run their own homebrew without thoroughly reviewing it first.
And also if you want to make new wild surge tables you should check their power level against the official rules.
(Remembers their 2nd Edition wild mage who's nickname was "Friendly Fire.")
Find your own truth, choose your enemies carefully, and never deal with a dragon.
"Canon" is what's factual to D&D lore. "Cannon" is what you're going to be shot with if you keep getting the word wrong.
My players came upon a roper and piercer cavern over water finding a boat with holes in it and a skeleton with a hole in its skull. It was a six man party but a three man boat. Rather than making an ice sheet and getting towed, they split the party. Three people in the middle of the water getting snatched up out of line of sight beyond the stalactites in the middle of a lake while getting hailed on by piercers. The land party basically watched Will Smith getting slammed around during baby delivery. I didn't even have the heart to bring up the froghemoth from underneath.
D&D is for fun and fun can come from stupid ideas like splitting the party... :)
BoringBard's long and tedious posts somehow manage to enrapture audiences. How? Because he used Charm Person, the #1 bard spell!
He/him pronouns. Call me Bard. PROUD NERD!
Ever wanted to talk about your parties' worst mistakes? Do so HERE. What's your favorite class, why? Share & explain
HERE.My barbarian forgot what food was
How did they pull that off?
Find your own truth, choose your enemies carefully, and never deal with a dragon.
"Canon" is what's factual to D&D lore. "Cannon" is what you're going to be shot with if you keep getting the word wrong.
A nat one on an attempt to find something to eat
Nat one looking for food
my players once used a scroll of tarasque summoning, in a big city, with important npcs, tpk
haver of this weird idea
dark leader of the cult of tiamat
it did have a militia, r.i.p. to the lanternville anti-monster brigade, you managed to do 6 damage to a 676 hp monster
haver of this weird idea
dark leader of the cult of tiamat
Dwarf barbarian in my party stealthed into a cave carrying his sleeping bag along the ceiling wearing slippers of spider climbing. Dropped down on a sahuagin champion using the sleeping bag like a net. Gave this little chance of working but the dice had a story to tell.
was playing a one shot where many adventurers had been called into this mansion to complete riddles. I was this small elf bard and i hit nat 20 when trying to rizz up goliath, adventurers were dying trying to defeat beasts and monsters but all you could hear from the room next door was the banging of a small elf and a goliath. i also had to roll to see if i would live through this ordeal as my character was half the size of goliath.
Simply amazing
My party found it and chose to not use it. I was very disappointed.
my party ran into a pack of cockatryx they were all level 5 i was new and only level 1 my best friend tried to "negotiate" by kidnapping the baby cockatryx and i died fighting them after the baby screamed and summoned double the packs size
My party was trapped on a hanging stone platform over a pit of lava. Allow me to set the scene: the room is cavernous, and chains dangle where other platforms apparently crumbled into the lava. Upon one wall, above a door, is a carving of a beholder surrounded by a circle of ten fish. Upon the platform, chunks of rock have tumbled from the ceiling and now lay still. They were supposed to take one of the rocks and chuck it at the beholder's main eye using the sling which the wizard had, which would raise a bridge from the lava, but no. Instead, the rogue decides to swing across to the beholder carving using the chains. I told him to roll for Acrobatics. He had a bonus of 8 because of expertise. The total of each roll? 23, 25, and a nat 20 for 28. THEN he presses the eye and gets them out.
Please, someone let me out of here! I've started eating the moths and rats! Yes, you have rats. Please don't get an exterminator, the moths have no flavor!
I love this my first orc got killed by his own party because he had a bag of holding so the tie fling “needed it”
I also have the ability to manifest my thoughts in ways that cut people. I call this power words. -Tasha
I play 3.5E…sometimes.
Come swim over to the Bloody Barnacle! The Bloody Barnacle against the world!
They/them
My avatar is stuck in Archeon help would be ideal.
Silhouette of determination! Thanks drum!