So. My dm just messaged me. Asking if ill be back for the session tomorrow. He approved a leave of absence because i got married and was on my honeymoon. And he just told me that my cleric was disintegrated. Killing me off while i am away. Bold on his part. But idk how i feel about that. Idk what happened to lead up to it thats all he told me https://omegle****/https://vshare****/.
That's messed up. I know that it's common for players to sometimes let their PCs be controlled by the DM or another player while they're away, and I can understand that the DM might not hold back just because someone isn't there... but I feel like disintegrating the person who isn't there must be horribly unsatisfying to everyone involved. I feel like I'd have to know the full story of how it happened... I've read a few Horror Stories where DM's go out of their way to punish players who can't attend, so that's partly where my mind goes, but it's also possible your DM ran an honest combat, had the enemies target the cleric because it's the logical thing to do in combat (eliminate the healer), and whoever is running your character doesn't know their skills well enough to perform properly in combat.
I hope that this wasn't done with any kind of malice, especially because you were gone for such an understandable reason. If nothing else, I think this might be a lesson for your group in the future to just run one-shots when one of the players isn't present.
If a player can’t make a session does your group typically still run with that players character? If so who controls them?
Its kind of a dick move to allow a character to get killed while the player was away but if this was a common practice for your group then it sucks but something you should have been aware could happen.
When I first played years ago, that’s how we did it and one of the other players ran our character. It was kind of dangerous but so was AD&D. But now if a player can’t make it, their character isn’t in the game. Maybe their god whisked them away for an important mission etc. Then their character “reappears” once the player is back
So. My dm just messaged me. Asking if ill be back for the session tomorrow. He approved a leave of absence because i got married and was on my honeymoon. And he just told me that my cleric was disintegrated. Killing me off while i am away. Bold on his part. But idk how i feel about that. Idk what happened to lead up to it thats all he told me.
Has this ever happened to anyone else?
Bad DM, Bad choice.
I have a basic Rule as a DM, "Player Characters must have Player Agency at all times."
This means if the player is not at the table, then the Character is not interacting or can be interacted with at all. Also I refuse to allow any mind control from players nor would I use any. Table taboo.
If the player's character is essential to the party or story, I will pause the game, and run one shots or even start a new campaign. (I did that when we lost a cleric). With this, if a player makes bad choices and gets their character killed, it's on them, not me as a DM. I never present a no win situation.
I don’t know if I would call them a bad DM. We don’t have the whole story. Bad choice? Sure
Some groups keep playing with all the PC’s even if a player can’t make it. If it was a settled issue in session zero then it sucks but part of play. I once had a 1E monk earn the enmity of a devil because I missed a session and the player controlling my character had me draw from a Deck of Many Things. I didn’t like it but dealt with it.
First of all, you should never need a "leave of absence." Not sure if you intended it to sound that way, but you made it seem like you had to have the GM's permission to take time off from the game. If that's just poor wording, nevermind, but the GM does not have the right to dictate what you are and are not allowed to do when you're not gaming or say that you have to run non-gaming plans you make through them first.
Second of all, killing off a player's character while they're not at the game is a straight-up a-hole move. Doubly so if you had already let them know that you weren't going to be available for that session well in advance. At that point I'd be willing to consider quitting the game without going to another session, just tell the GM you're out. Obviously you do you, but I've played with enough bad GMs that these sort of things are red flags.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Find your own truth, choose your enemies carefully, and never deal with a dragon.
"Canon" is what's factual to D&D lore. "Cannon" is what you're going to be shot with if you keep getting the word wrong.
Echoing others - I have never, ever had this happen and it sounds like a really awful thing to do.
The closest is back when I played 1e and 2e in high school, we weren't as concerned about immersive story. So if someone couldn't make it one week, their PC would mysteriously vanish, and when they returned, they'd just suddenly re-appear. It made no sense whatsoever, but that worked for us back then. I hope it's just a misunderstanding and your PC will miraculously un-disintegrate when you return. Otherwise, if you are penalized for getting married and going on a honeymoon, then, like others have said, that's a jerk move.
It happens sometimes. If the players have said that they are ok with their characters being used if they have to miss a session. It nearly happened in a game I was playing in the other week. The rogue player was away, another player ran him and made some really bad choices, nearly getting the rogue character killed. We try not to do that but it does happen.
Heh, I think you need to wait and see HOW it happened and WHY before deciding this was a bad move or not. If it turns out that this is a hard point in the story and/or it contributed greatly to the story's development it may not be too bad. As well, so long as there is a viable method for you to return, either with the same character, a copycat (same class/subclass, different race maybe?) or an entirely new character you want to play. I think it may be a tad early to say for certain it's a bad thing, but I don't, at the outset, much like it.
I am with a couple others on player agency, maybe to a lesser point. A player missing may have their character controlled by the DM or another player if they want, but that player won't be having anything of impact occur, especially death. Each table is different and while I find it an odd route, I think you need to reserve final judgement until you get the full story and sort it all out.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Talk to your Players.Talk to your DM. If more people used this advice, there would be 24.74% fewer threads on Tactics, Rules and DM discussions.
Echoing others - I have never, ever had this happen and it sounds like a really awful thing to do.
The closest is back when I played 1e and 2e in high school, we weren't as concerned about immersive story. So if someone couldn't make it one week, their PC would mysteriously vanish, and when they returned, they'd just suddenly re-appear. It made no sense whatsoever, but that worked for us back then. I hope it's just a misunderstanding and your PC will miraculously un-disintegrate when you return. Otherwise, if you are penalized for getting married and going on a honeymoon, then, like others have said, that's a jerk move.
That's kind of how I do it still, 30 years later, it's still the best policy, players control their character sheets.
I still would like to hear more about the situation. Was this common practice to have someone else play a missing player’s character?
And I do agree it’s not the best thing to kill a character off while the player is away. Maybe you can discuss it with the DM and instead of being disintegrated your god pulled you out at the last split second. The other players think you are dead but your god had other plans for you so you are doing their business while you are not at the game. And reappear when you return.
But again, if this was the agreed upon handling of missing players in session zero then it’s a bad situation, and I probably would have had the cleric survive somehow, if I were DM, but it’s what happened and you need to adjust to it.
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
I saw this on reddit. In the chance that it's a true story, I'm sorry.
But I want to point out that reddit is flooded with posts like this about how the DM did something ridiculously wrong and idk guys what do you think of that? It feels like karma/attention farming and I'd rather this forum didn't also fill up with these. OP, you know this was not okay. Everyone knows that. There's nothing real to say here.
Heh, I think you need to wait and see HOW it happened and WHY before deciding this was a bad move or not. If it turns out that this is a hard point in the story and/or it contributed greatly to the story's development it may not be too bad. As well, so long as there is a viable method for you to return, either with the same character, a copycat (same class/subclass, different race maybe?) or an entirely new character you want to play. I think it may be a tad early to say for certain it's a bad thing, but I don't, at the outset, much like it.
I strongly disagree. Any sort of decision like that should not be done without the player's knowledge. You should not be killing off a PC to advance the story without their knowledge, and especially if they're not at that session.
At my table PCs get jaegured bu another player if players can’t make it, but there are some house rule around this.
PC sticks in the middle of march order, no going ahead setting off traps and not lagging behind to get picked off.
In combat PC sticks to the same tactics as the player uses,
As the DM a OC who’s player is not there might die, but I would always ensure there is a chance of resurrection. Disintergrate would not happen to a player who was not there unless everyone else was dead already.!
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
To post a comment, please login or register a new account.
So. My dm just messaged me. Asking if ill be back for the session tomorrow. He approved a leave of absence because i got married and was on my honeymoon. And he just told me that my cleric was disintegrated. Killing me off while i am away. Bold on his part. But idk how i feel about that. Idk what happened to lead up to it thats all he told me https://omegle****/ https://vshare****/ .
Has this ever happened to anyone else?
That's messed up. I know that it's common for players to sometimes let their PCs be controlled by the DM or another player while they're away, and I can understand that the DM might not hold back just because someone isn't there... but I feel like disintegrating the person who isn't there must be horribly unsatisfying to everyone involved. I feel like I'd have to know the full story of how it happened... I've read a few Horror Stories where DM's go out of their way to punish players who can't attend, so that's partly where my mind goes, but it's also possible your DM ran an honest combat, had the enemies target the cleric because it's the logical thing to do in combat (eliminate the healer), and whoever is running your character doesn't know their skills well enough to perform properly in combat.
I hope that this wasn't done with any kind of malice, especially because you were gone for such an understandable reason. If nothing else, I think this might be a lesson for your group in the future to just run one-shots when one of the players isn't present.
Watch Crits for Breakfast, an adults-only RP-Heavy Roll20 Livestream at twitch.tv/afterdisbooty
And now you too can play with the amazing art and assets we use in Roll20 for our campaign at Hazel's Emporium
If a player can’t make a session does your group typically still run with that players character? If so who controls them?
Its kind of a dick move to allow a character to get killed while the player was away but if this was a common practice for your group then it sucks but something you should have been aware could happen.
When I first played years ago, that’s how we did it and one of the other players ran our character. It was kind of dangerous but so was AD&D. But now if a player can’t make it, their character isn’t in the game. Maybe their god whisked them away for an important mission etc. Then their character “reappears” once the player is back
EZD6 by DM Scotty
https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/397599/EZD6-Core-Rulebook?
Bad DM, Bad choice.
I have a basic Rule as a DM, "Player Characters must have Player Agency at all times."
This means if the player is not at the table, then the Character is not interacting or can be interacted with at all. Also I refuse to allow any mind control from players nor would I use any. Table taboo.
If the player's character is essential to the party or story, I will pause the game, and run one shots or even start a new campaign. (I did that when we lost a cleric). With this, if a player makes bad choices and gets their character killed, it's on them, not me as a DM. I never present a no win situation.
I don’t know if I would call them a bad DM. We don’t have the whole story. Bad choice? Sure
Some groups keep playing with all the PC’s even if a player can’t make it. If it was a settled issue in session zero then it sucks but part of play. I once had a 1E monk earn the enmity of a devil because I missed a session and the player controlling my character had me draw from a Deck of Many Things. I didn’t like it but dealt with it.
EZD6 by DM Scotty
https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/397599/EZD6-Core-Rulebook?
First of all, you should never need a "leave of absence." Not sure if you intended it to sound that way, but you made it seem like you had to have the GM's permission to take time off from the game. If that's just poor wording, nevermind, but the GM does not have the right to dictate what you are and are not allowed to do when you're not gaming or say that you have to run non-gaming plans you make through them first.
Second of all, killing off a player's character while they're not at the game is a straight-up a-hole move. Doubly so if you had already let them know that you weren't going to be available for that session well in advance. At that point I'd be willing to consider quitting the game without going to another session, just tell the GM you're out. Obviously you do you, but I've played with enough bad GMs that these sort of things are red flags.
Find your own truth, choose your enemies carefully, and never deal with a dragon.
"Canon" is what's factual to D&D lore. "Cannon" is what you're going to be shot with if you keep getting the word wrong.
Echoing others - I have never, ever had this happen and it sounds like a really awful thing to do.
The closest is back when I played 1e and 2e in high school, we weren't as concerned about immersive story. So if someone couldn't make it one week, their PC would mysteriously vanish, and when they returned, they'd just suddenly re-appear. It made no sense whatsoever, but that worked for us back then. I hope it's just a misunderstanding and your PC will miraculously un-disintegrate when you return. Otherwise, if you are penalized for getting married and going on a honeymoon, then, like others have said, that's a jerk move.
Asking if you'll be back? If they killed your character, you're currently not a player at this point. There's nothing to "come back" to.
Sounds like they're asking if you'd like to join their campaign... lol
It happens sometimes. If the players have said that they are ok with their characters being used if they have to miss a session. It nearly happened in a game I was playing in the other week. The rogue player was away, another player ran him and made some really bad choices, nearly getting the rogue character killed. We try not to do that but it does happen.
Heh, I think you need to wait and see HOW it happened and WHY before deciding this was a bad move or not. If it turns out that this is a hard point in the story and/or it contributed greatly to the story's development it may not be too bad. As well, so long as there is a viable method for you to return, either with the same character, a copycat (same class/subclass, different race maybe?) or an entirely new character you want to play. I think it may be a tad early to say for certain it's a bad thing, but I don't, at the outset, much like it.
I am with a couple others on player agency, maybe to a lesser point. A player missing may have their character controlled by the DM or another player if they want, but that player won't be having anything of impact occur, especially death. Each table is different and while I find it an odd route, I think you need to reserve final judgement until you get the full story and sort it all out.
Talk to your Players. Talk to your DM. If more people used this advice, there would be 24.74% fewer threads on Tactics, Rules and DM discussions.
That's kind of how I do it still, 30 years later, it's still the best policy, players control their character sheets.
I still would like to hear more about the situation. Was this common practice to have someone else play a missing player’s character?
And I do agree it’s not the best thing to kill a character off while the player is away. Maybe you can discuss it with the DM and instead of being disintegrated your god pulled you out at the last split second. The other players think you are dead but your god had other plans for you so you are doing their business while you are not at the game. And reappear when you return.
But again, if this was the agreed upon handling of missing players in session zero then it’s a bad situation, and I probably would have had the cleric survive somehow, if I were DM, but it’s what happened and you need to adjust to it.
EZD6 by DM Scotty
https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/397599/EZD6-Core-Rulebook?
I'm with Sedge on this. It almost reads like the person (DM) was making a joke.
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
I saw this on reddit. In the chance that it's a true story, I'm sorry.
But I want to point out that reddit is flooded with posts like this about how the DM did something ridiculously wrong and idk guys what do you think of that? It feels like karma/attention farming and I'd rather this forum didn't also fill up with these. OP, you know this was not okay. Everyone knows that. There's nothing real to say here.
My homebrew subclasses (full list here)
(Artificer) Swordmage | Glasswright | (Barbarian) Path of the Savage Embrace
(Bard) College of Dance | (Fighter) Warlord | Cannoneer
(Monk) Way of the Elements | (Ranger) Blade Dancer
(Rogue) DaggerMaster | Inquisitor | (Sorcerer) Riftwalker | Spellfist
(Warlock) The Swarm
I strongly disagree. Any sort of decision like that should not be done without the player's knowledge. You should not be killing off a PC to advance the story without their knowledge, and especially if they're not at that session.
A "joke" that leaves the person who was the target of it feeling hurt or insulted isn't a joke. It's bullying.
Find your own truth, choose your enemies carefully, and never deal with a dragon.
"Canon" is what's factual to D&D lore. "Cannon" is what you're going to be shot with if you keep getting the word wrong.
We let another player run the character. One appointed by the regular player.
And even if that character gets killed its never permanent. The party should be allowed a way to bring them back. It makes for a whole new mission.
The player with the dead character gets to run the temporary replacement NPC as a character until his regular character is brought back to life.
But this does sound like a bad joke on the Dm's part.
If we're away our character just doesn't take part - we don't get XP so why should we die?
Our character just picks up with the story when they return.
Odo Proudfoot - Lvl 10 Halfling Monk - Princes of the Apocalypse (Campaign Finished)
Orryn Pebblefoot - Lvl 5 Rock Gnome Wizard (Deceased) - Waterdeep: Dragon Heist (Deceased)
Anerin Ap Tewdr - Lvl 5 Human (Variant) Bard (College of Valor) - Waterdeep: Dragon Heist
At my table PCs get jaegured bu another player if players can’t make it, but there are some house rule around this.
PC sticks in the middle of march order, no going ahead setting off traps and not lagging behind to get picked off.
In combat PC sticks to the same tactics as the player uses,
As the DM a OC who’s player is not there might die, but I would always ensure there is a chance of resurrection. Disintergrate would not happen to a player who was not there unless everyone else was dead already.!