A little under one year ago, our DM had canceled our online serious campaign permanently after an argument amongst them and some other players in our group. In my opinion, it was a silly argument that could've been put to rest if it was talked out. I'm fairly good friends with everyone involved and tried to help get our campaign back together, but the DM was adamant they were done. They said they were too stressed out, D&D stresses them out and the only way for them to not be stressed was to quit. The DM apologized to us and that was that. I was upset since I was loving the story, everyone's characters, the great role playing and bonding we were all developing. After some conversations with the DM here and there about missing the campaign, I knew it was never coming back. I knew there was no talking them into giving it another go. I respected their choice and put it to rest. However, a short time ago, the old DM came over to my house to hang out. We often play video games and I let them use my laptop so we can play together. After they left, I saw they were still logged into their discord on my laptop and had it left open on our discord server for the canceled campaign. On there, the DM was in a hidden channel with one of the players from that campaign. The two of them had been continuing role playing for that campaign since it was "canceled". Now, I know I can be called out here for snooping, but the DM left it open on my laptop on that exact channel. I would have saw it regardless in order to log out of their account and back into my own. I was curious and looked to see how long it had been going on for. I'm not trying to excuse any snooping, I know it's wrong to look, but I felt like I needed to know. Now, I feel torn because since they are a friend and kept it a secret, I don't want to out them on finding that secret. At the same time, I'm hurt and upset because of how much I loved playing in that campaign. Now, anytime we hang out in person and I see them typing on discord in that server, I only think about them continuing the campaign without everyone. It gets me thinking about if I was part of the "stress" problem, but was never told? I'm unsure if anyone has similar experiences? Then is it wrong of me to be upset over this? I know I forgave them initially and understood why they canceled, but it feels different now that I know what's going on. I also understand it was their campaign and they can do whatever they want with it... it just hurts. If anything, I vented this out here since I feel I can't talk about this to the old DM or old players from the group...

Similar(ish) situations have happened to me.  Usually (usually, mind), it happens because there's one specific individual the DM (or other authority figure in non-tabletop RPG situations) absolutely cannot stand, and they feel like getting rid of that one person would wreck the group anyways.  The "you're out, go away" speech often has reprisals, especially if the person in question takes umbrage at being told to take off.

It's a cowardly way out though, and continuing the game in private with someone else is frustrating.  Especially if you put forth effort to try and save the game you loved.  I understand that DMing is much harder than it can appear and sometimes a person simply can't do it anymore, but I've also been the person trying in vain to save a roleplaying community I'd invested a great deal of time into simply because of one person the leadership couldn't tolerate anymore.

If you can stand to do it, I would simply ask this person why.  No accusations, no screaming.  Just tell him you found out, and ask him why.  If nothing else, you'll know for next time.

First off... venting it out somewhere like this is a good thing.  You get it out in the open and your mind processes it.  That's a good thing.  When something has an emotional component (whether it is anger or love or whatever), it is a good thing to type out a response to that... and then let it sit for 24 hours.  In the case of an email, 24 hours and then re-read it and send it if it is still appropriate.  Usually it requires heavy modification.

Secondly... don't blame yourself.  You don't know how everyone feels.  You know some of the people and some of the circumstances.  That doesn't mean it was your fault or that there was any blame involved for you.  I mean, if they didn't like you they wouldn't come over and hang out.  Maybe they feel you are too friendly with people they don't like.. doesn't matter.  But the mistake here is to assume it is your fault and try to fix it.  Nope.  It's not... leave that mental anguish in the drawer.

Thirdly... you have to act as if you never saw that at all.  At some point in the future, feel free to ask about it again.  Expect that you will not get the answer you want (also remember 1 and 2 above).  But in time, you might get an answer that provides information... though I doubt it.  Just chalk it up to something happened at the table and that campaign ended.  Odds are it might have been something between others that you didn't pick up on.  

If you still feel that you have to mention it... just realize, only heartache and misery lies down this road.  Nothing good will come from you saying, "I saw you were still playing the game that I loved... why didn't you include me?" or anything of the sort.  

Maybe one of the best ways to sideways engage them is to say something like, "You know... I really enjoyed the roleplay and the stories of that campaign we played.  I've been thinking about becoming a DM and starting my own stories.  What is the best way to go about getting player engagement like that?"  And see if you can continue to interact with them on a level that allows engagement in the stories of old without becoming mired in the conflict that tore it all apart.  Either they will or won't discuss it with you.  Either way... don't take it personally... take it to the mattresses... it's business.

Since they're a friend, I'd advise talking about it with them. Just bring up the fact that it was left open on your computer, and you don't want it to just stew in your mind until it becomes a bigger issue than it should be.

On a side note, there are a ton of reasons why this situation could happen. I've been a DM that cancelled a campaign yet invited a couple players to continue it, and I've been in campaigns that were canceled but continued with just one or two players both as the continuing player, and the left out player. (Found out months after the fact.) I wouldn't call it common, but it's certainly not uncommon in my experience. 

You can tell the ex-DM, though I wouldn't. Don't expect it to lead to you playing in his campaign though.

The sad reality here is, that DM did not want to continue the game with the group, and chose to continue with one person, for whatever reason. If that DM had wanted you along, you'd already have been invited. So please don't expect that if you out them and say you know what they have been doing, that this will lead to an invite to join them. It almost certainly won't.

I suspect the most likely outcome of telling the DM you saw this stuff is the DM getting huffy about it, and possibly it could lead to an end to the friendship, depending on how the argument goes. Up to the OP whether it's worth risking that. I wouldn't risk it, but then I am non-confrontational by nature.

I'll admit to being as confrontational as it comes in situations like this.  Often because it's not particularly fair that the other person gets to blissfully carry on as if no injury were done and nothing were wrong while I'm expected to swallow my hurt and be nice and fall on my sword for somebody else's fun times.  I understand we've only got one side of the picture here, but if that side has any truth to it?  Old DM owes the gal who tried to save the game he was stealing from her - not canceling, but stealing from players he didn't like anymore - an answer or two.  Thus, simply, "why?"

You can't make someone DM for you if they don't want to. And you can't stop a DM from running a game in the same game world with someone else. No one has a "right" to someone else DMing for them. 

You wanna be confrontational, go for it. I'm just warning that this could very well lead to a much worse outcome than the current status quo.

There's something to be said for laying all one's cards one the table just to find out why and what could be done going forward without necessarily the expectation that the game will be restarted. I think the op already acknowledged that the old campaign isn't going to continue as it was already. If the DM wanted to keep it secret, they should have done better than almost literally throwing it in op's face. 

Ophidian is correct.  Nothing is going to get OwlGirl her game back.  You're right, BioWizard - nobody can make somebody else DM, and nopbody says the DM can't run a game in the same world later.  If, however, what OwlGirl says is true - that the DM is running the same story for this person, simply minus all the other players - then I feel like that does warrant a conversation.  Because frankly, that means the game was stolen out from under the other players to be awarded to this other guy alone, and were I in that situation I would want to know why.  Not to get it back - that clearly cannot happen - but to know what to avoid for next time, and to understand why something I was so invested in was taken from me and given to someone else.  That understanding is important, and honestly?

There's a case to be made that the 'worse outcome' has already happened.  Broken relationships aren't always public, or known to both parties.  I cannot speak for OwlGirl, but I can say the knowledge of this particular theft, by itself, would certainly strain any friendship I had.  The other person would be given an opportunity to explain themselves and make it right, as much to clear the air as anything else, because the alternative is a buildup of festering resentment that has the potential to get much worse than simply having a difficult conversation.  Obviously OwlGirl will have to weigh that decision herself for her own situation, but as general advice for anyone else who happens to read this thread and feels a parallel to their own situations: confrontation is not always bad, nor is it always the worst outcome in a situation.  A difficult conversation now can forestall a toxic screaming row later, after resentment has had time to grow and develop into spite, instead.

It's your call, no matter what anyone here says, so keep that foremost in your mind.  What you should be looking for here is an idea of how the DM will react to being presented with the info that you saw their chat they left open.  That is step one.  Is this the kind of person who can/will accept that THEY allowed a view of their personal business by being a bit careless?  Is this a friend, really, who you can joke and carry on with, yet also have serious, heart-to-heart talks at times?  If you're close enough, and know they would not freak out, then there's little harm in presenting it.

I am confrontational, I know.  I own this in me, and the people I know are generally aware, that if I see something that I think is BS, I am likely going to call it pretty quick.  Now I am also quite open minded, which helps.  This type of situation, I would throw it out that they had left their chat open and I saw it when I went to close it out.  If you had to scroll through a month's worth of messages to see something about the campaign, then maybe you were snooping a bit more than is tactful, so if that's the case, be prepared for some kickback.  If mention of the campaign was in view when you went to close the window.....well, that's pretty blatant and you could hardly be faulted heavily for seeing what was right there.  Just mentioning that they'd left their chat open may prompt the response you need, especially if the incriminating bits were there in plain view.

If you do bring it up, I'd stick with what everyone else is saying and a simple "Why?" is best.  Let them know you're curiosity is burning more than hurt feelings or anything, you just want to know why.  Any reason they provide is likely valid and if it's so, make sure to let them know you feel a lot better knowing why.  I press my friends to always be honest.  There are times (and I have been told) that it might be better if I skip a gathering, because person Y is there and they are uncomfortable around me, or person J is going to be there and we always end up in an argument.  Honesty tends to avoid a lot of awkward and uncomfortable situations, by clearing the air immediately when issues do arise.

Call them a dick, tell them they pulled a dick move and move on.

Continue to be their friend if you can tolerate them being a dick in certain instances.

Continue to be their friend if you value their friendship for things beyond D&D.

If you need D&D, with that person, in that game, then move on to another group, another game, with another friend. Otherwise, you're forcing something that isn't there that shouldn't be forced. No one should be forced to PLAY A GAME, and especially, choose who they play it with.

If you can't handle the dick move they pulled, and can't move past it, don't be their friend any longer.

It doesn't need to be more complicated than that. You're talking about someone grabbing your basketball, saying they don't want to play basketball with you anymore and then you hear dribbling as they use that basketball to play with others. Get a new ball. Find a new court. There's millions out there that like basketball. Or stay friends, just don't talk basketball.

Just want to point out that this may have absolutely nothing to do with you. The DM sees the campaign story as a part of their relationship with that other person. Maybe it's something special to them and they'd just rather keep it that way. It sounds like the DM still hangs out with you regularly - sounds like they enjoy doing stuff with you too, just different things. If you think they secretly don't like you, then you should probably have a talk. At best, you work out whatever issue there is. At worst, you both free up time to spend with people you can better connect with.

When I had similar experiences when I was younger, I always agonized about how the things people did reflected what they really thought of me. Now that I look back, I think that in many of those cases the situation simply didn't have anything to do with me. People are focused on their own stuff and they have other people in their lives and relationships are complicated and no one can be aware of everyone in their lives at once. Ultimately this is a relationship issue that has very little to do with D&D, so I'd recommend talking about it to other folks that know you both if you feel like this is something that needs to be resolved.

I would not just assume that the DM was a "dick" there are other possibilities.

For example

The more playters in a party the more stressful it can be for the DM to run, different players have different aims in the game some players might want more combat others less, players might expect hooks for their character byt trying to work in hooks for 5 or so different players can get difficult. Different characters making alternative decisions can slow things down as they all discuss which option to take. 5 party members fighting a similar number of enemies can make for long combat especially if players take a while deciding what to do.....

It is quite possible that DMing your game did stress them out and the only way out was to quit from a party campaign.

That does not mean playing with a single player would also stress them out and in order to keep one of is friends happy he may have agreed to continue with just them, but that leads to what do do with the rest of the group? Being open about it would risk questions as to why it wasn't them who was chosen and/or pressure to "just add me and make it 2 players plus you as DM" (said by everyone else in the group).  It might have been cowardly but he could have noy wanted to hurt your feelings and keep your friendship.

What was the argument that you thought was silly but was important enough to the DM to "quit"?  It was clearly a very big deal to them and it sounds like you were not exactly on the DM's side as you were part of the group that was ghosted from the game.  I generally don't like giving advice with only half the information.

Also, you don't have to read anything to logout of discord so I think it isn't likely that you are being completely honest about your story.

I don't see anything good coming from confronting the GM over this.  They would have talked to you about this if they wanted to keep playing with you.  Bringing this up really isn't likely to accomplish anything beyond damaging your friendship with them.

Obviously we can't speak to the relationship issues with the player and DM. But I have this suggestion going forward, not just for the OP but for anyone in this situation. Instead of asking a tired and burned-out DM to keep DMing, try offering to DM and let them play. It keeps the group together. It spells the DM so they are not stressed. And you get to keep doing D&D. After a little while, a few months maybe, that DM might stop feeling burned out, and might start the old campaign up again. That tactic is much more likely to be successful than to keep begging a tired and burned-out DM who wants to stop running games.

I've been debating for a while whether to weigh in on this or not, and I think I finally have the words to say:

This is not a D&D issue; as you have said, the campaign is dead and gone, or at least your part in it is.  Instead, this is an interpersonal issue, and as such it absolutely needs to be addressed.  It will be painful.  It might bring up some harsh truths.  It might even harm your friendship with this person, maybe even end it, but from personal experience I can tell you right now, not talking about it will make it worse.

To put things into perspective, and if I may take the liberty of inserting myself into this point of view:  This person, my friend, "ends" the campaign I've enjoyed playing, and tells me in no uncertain terms that they aren't bringing it back; that sucks, but that's the way it is, and I do my best to move on.  Then, in this age of Covid, this friend tells me they want to play games with me, and they come into my house to hang out where I let them us my laptop so we can game together.  Then, this person, while on my laptop, in my house, in my presence, logs into Discord and starts playing this campaign that they they lied to my face about ending.  They then not only don't bother to log out of Discord on my laptop after leaving my house, they don't even bother switching to a different server, and leave me to do that for them, after having played this campaign they lied to me about, during what was supposed to be our time to hang out and play together, in my house, on my laptop, in front of my face the entire time.

Maybe this is just the raging ***** in me coming out, but I would find this unacceptable.  Either they were being petty and wanted me to find it, or they were being completely and inexcusably thoughtless; either way, they would have some serious explaining to do, and I would start seriously reevaluating my relationship with this person.

Sigh.  I'm sorry OP, I let my emotions get in the way (which I really should not have done) so I can't say I'm being an objective actor here, but from where I'm standing, and still keeping myself in this point of view (which again, I probably shouldn't do), this has nothing to do with D&D and everything to do with the fact that my friend is lying to me and using my hospitality without any thought or regard to me.

To the op, you have to let your friend know that you know. Clear the air.

At the same time, be in a state of mind, where you totally dont care whether you play in their ongoing game on not. Be rational and empathetic. Dont make it about you. Let them know that if they are enjoying the game, you are glad for them.

At the same time, you be the DM for a campaign, and invite them if they want, in addition to their separate campaign. Taking turns DMing. Being a DM is fun − being a universe! But being a player is fun too − being a hero. I hope everyone has an opportunity to experience both. Also, if players take turns DMing the gaming universe, the universe starts to take on a life of its own, greater than any one person deciding for it.

Quote from Gvarayi >>

To the op, you have to let your friend know that you know. Clear the air.

At the same time, be in a state of mind, where you totally dont care whether you play in their ongoing game on not. Be rational and empathetic. Dont make it about you. Let them know that if they are enjoying the game, you are glad for them.

At the same time, you be the DM for a campaign, and invite them if they want, in addition to their separate campaign. Taking turns DMing. Being a DM is fun − being a universe! But being a player is fun too − being a hero. I hope everyone has an opportunity to experience both. Also, if players take turns DMing the gaming universe, the universe starts to take on a life of its own, greater than any one person deciding for it.

 This is without a doubt better advice than anything I have to give.  The only other thing I'd have to say is, be prepared for it to be a difficult conversation, and if you need a way to vent away from that conversation, do so; keeping negative emotions bottled just turns them into poison.  Again, personal experience.

I wouldn't go in any way accusatory - you didn't know they continued it, but that wasn't really your business - they said they didn't want to continue with the group and that's their prerogative. You might feel hurt, but that's the way it is.

I would simply keep it casual - "Hey, you left your discord logged on at mine - I didn't realise you were still running that campaign! anything good happen? Wish I'd known, I'd love to have joined!" something very casual and in no way should you say anything like "why didn't you tell me" or "what the hell, I wanted this campaign and now you're cheating on me with that harlot" or anything which makes it accusatory or about you. Whilst you might be disappointed that you're not involved, there's probably a reason they only wanted to run it with one person and you should respect that - don't even expect them to tell you the reason, and don't assume that means the reason involves you. Clearing the air could make things that much better between you - they will finally be able to tell you all the cool stuff that's been happening in the campaign. Perhaps they might be open to you joining at a later date if you stay enthusiastic about it. Clear the air, but be supportive and casual! In short - be friends!