This isn't a DnD quote (don't be like me, kids), but i still want to share it:
His kiss tasted like coffee and rain and reckless youth, and also like mouth
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
I am a human person very good at doing human person things, yes yes, i enjoy normal human person things like wearing clothes on my skin and walking with my leg, yes yes, am not a yuan-ti infiltrator, am human person
IF YOU'RE READING THIS GO WATCH INFINITY TRAIN ON HBOMAX
(up until this point, the Warlock has pretty much used "Eldritch Blast", "Hex" & "Expeditious Retreat")
DM: "So both the Monk and the Fighter have gone down after the fight.
Warlock: "I got it."
(uses "Lay on Hands", giving both party members 1 HP)
DM: "What the...you're a Paladin?"
Warlock: "Yeah; I made a deal with St. Cuthbert."
DM: "When?!"
Warlock: "He came to me in a dream. He liked how I took out those brigands."
DM: "But isn't you're patron a Noble Genie?"
Warlock: "Yep."
DM: "And what did she think about that?"
Warlock: "Oh, she was pissed."
DM: "..."
Warlock: "Yeah...I have trouble saying "no"...that's sort of how this happened in the first place."
DM: "You might want to learn."
Warlock: "Look, when you're poor & starving and a beautiful djinn offers you wealth & power, you say YES."
DM: "And St. Cuthbert?"
Warlock: "Look, when an angry bearded man bashes in the skulls of two damned criminals RIGHT NEXT TO YOU and asks if you want to be friends, you say YES."
DM: "...god help you if you come across any devils."
Warlock: "Everybody wants a piece of me."
(this DM was running a One-Shot with our characters, so nobody knew about this arrangement with the previous DM)
The sorceress really wanted her pet baby bullette ("Bebe Bubbette") to eat the ghost they were fighting. After I attempt to explain to her several times explain that the ghost will just "poof" once it reaches zero hit points and therefore cannot be eaten, she turns to the bard and asks her "Can you ask Evil Knieval if ghosts can eat other ghosts?" (The bard has an adopted ghost child named Mival)
After the battle ended and the split the loot, the monk got a ring of warmth. The same sorceress referred to it as "a ring of fire" and fell on the ring (and the monk who was wearing it) while singing "Ring of Fire". The monk then hissed at her
And as a continuation of the stripper-heeled guardnorn saga, the sorceress' and bard's new theory about Fel is that underneath his robes he is just a head on a stick wearing stripper heels. After I pointed out that he has a huge wound in his side from a recent fight and that they can all clearly see ribs poking out, she insisted that the ribs were "Just more sticks stuck to the big sticks."
Did I mention that this sorceress's name is literally "Envelope", pronounced "En- vel- o- pe"? Yeah, my sister is definitely going places.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Morrigan Corax, The Phantom Queen, Breaker of The Elemental Chains, and Flaming Chicken Cassilia Decalia, Servant of His Xanthous Majesty. "It's not narcissism, it's histrionicism, dearie." Dokuhebi Tsuchinoko, child of the serpent goddess and temporary mother of squidlings Envelope Lastname is going to be the death of me. I'm allergic to fireball
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
"If the Ogre Shaman see's what's being done around here, he'll torch the place himself! It's the only way it will ever feel clean again." -Rogue making lewd insinuations about what the Druid and the ranger got up to when they split the party, and why he's down 1 wild shape.*
*It's actually because somebody needed mauling by a bear, but the Rogue is a dirty bastard.
"If the Ogre Shame see's what's being done around here, he'll torch the place himself! It's the only way it will ever feel clean again." -Rogue making lewd insinuations about what the Druid and the ranger got up to when they split the party, and why he's down 1 wild shape.*
*It's actually because somebody needed mauling by a bear, but the Rogue is a dirty bastard.
Lol. This sounds like something that would happen in my party, but knowing them, the rouge would probably be right.........
I watch. I wait. I listen. I like roleplaying games. Avid fan of messed up homebrew and horror rpgs. Lancer>dnd5e, go read Kill Six Billion Demons. I will shoot you with my transgenderification beam pew pew
To post a comment, please login or register a new account.
Player to DM: "can i steal the mayors pants?"
This player broke into the mayors house and stole his pants later that session...
Why tho
Hello! I am just a relatively new D&D player, who also likes SimplePlanes and War Thunder.
My characters are:
Because they could.
This isn't a DnD quote (don't be like me, kids), but i still want to share it:
His kiss tasted like coffee and rain and reckless youth, and also like mouth
I am a human person very good at doing human person things, yes yes, i enjoy normal human person things like wearing clothes on my skin and walking with my leg, yes yes, am not a yuan-ti infiltrator, am human person
IF YOU'RE READING THIS GO WATCH INFINITY TRAIN ON HBOMAX
Turn the pants into a battle flag and march on the city.
Hello! I am just a relatively new D&D player, who also likes SimplePlanes and War Thunder.
My characters are:
A player flavored their kill by chopping off his opponent's arms while shouting: "Consider yourself disarmed"
That is hilarious!
Hello! I am just a relatively new D&D player, who also likes SimplePlanes and War Thunder.
My characters are:
DM: "You arrive at a cave of some sort. "
Player 1: "What kind of cave?"
DM: "Roll Investigation."
Player 1: "17."
DM: "It's actually a mine."
Player 2: "Well, what kind of mine is it?"
DM: "Just a typical mine."
Player 2: "So a rock mine?"
Player 3: (giggles) "Is it a "land"-mine?"
(later, as an explosion happens inside the tunnels)
Player 3: "BY THE GODS; IT WAS A LAND-MINE...!"
(up until this point, the Warlock has pretty much used "Eldritch Blast", "Hex" & "Expeditious Retreat")
DM: "So both the Monk and the Fighter have gone down after the fight.
Warlock: "I got it."
(uses "Lay on Hands", giving both party members 1 HP)
DM: "What the...you're a Paladin?"
Warlock: "Yeah; I made a deal with St. Cuthbert."
DM: "When?!"
Warlock: "He came to me in a dream. He liked how I took out those brigands."
DM: "But isn't you're patron a Noble Genie?"
Warlock: "Yep."
DM: "And what did she think about that?"
Warlock: "Oh, she was pissed."
DM: "..."
Warlock: "Yeah...I have trouble saying "no"...that's sort of how this happened in the first place."
DM: "You might want to learn."
Warlock: "Look, when you're poor & starving and a beautiful djinn offers you wealth & power, you say YES."
DM: "And St. Cuthbert?"
Warlock: "Look, when an angry bearded man bashes in the skulls of two damned criminals RIGHT NEXT TO YOU and asks if you want to be friends, you say YES."
DM: "...god help you if you come across any devils."
Warlock: "Everybody wants a piece of me."
(this DM was running a One-Shot with our characters, so nobody knew about this arrangement with the previous DM)
The sorceress really wanted her pet baby bullette ("Bebe Bubbette") to eat the ghost they were fighting. After I attempt to explain to her several times explain that the ghost will just "poof" once it reaches zero hit points and therefore cannot be eaten, she turns to the bard and asks her "Can you ask Evil Knieval if ghosts can eat other ghosts?" (The bard has an adopted ghost child named Mival)
After the battle ended and the split the loot, the monk got a ring of warmth. The same sorceress referred to it as "a ring of fire" and fell on the ring (and the monk who was wearing it) while singing "Ring of Fire". The monk then hissed at her
And as a continuation of the stripper-heeled guardnorn saga, the sorceress' and bard's new theory about Fel is that underneath his robes he is just a head on a stick wearing stripper heels. After I pointed out that he has a huge wound in his side from a recent fight and that they can all clearly see ribs poking out, she insisted that the ribs were "Just more sticks stuck to the big sticks."
Did I mention that this sorceress's name is literally "Envelope", pronounced "En- vel- o- pe"? Yeah, my sister is definitely going places.
Morrigan Corax, The Phantom Queen, Breaker of The Elemental Chains, and Flaming Chicken
Cassilia Decalia, Servant of His Xanthous Majesty. "It's not narcissism, it's histrionicism, dearie."
Dokuhebi Tsuchinoko, child of the serpent goddess and temporary mother of squidlings
Envelope Lastname is going to be the death of me.
I'm allergic to fireball
"I kill the rock."
Village elder: "You will submit to the Trial by Fire—"
Tiefling: "That's fine. I'm resistant to fire—"
Village elder: "—Ants."
Tiefling: "Oh. ... OH HELL NO!!"
(This is the Fire Ant she meant.)
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
I live in southern Alabama. Those pests are everywhere.
Hello! I am just a relatively new D&D player, who also likes SimplePlanes and War Thunder.
My characters are:
lol
Hello! I am just a relatively new D&D player, who also likes SimplePlanes and War Thunder.
My characters are:
My diviner wizard once turned a flying Roc into a Rock.
Please check out my homebrew, I would appreciate feedback:
Spells, Monsters, Subclasses, Races, Arcknight Class, Occultist Class, World, Enigmatic Esoterica forms
Nice
Hello! I am just a relatively new D&D player, who also likes SimplePlanes and War Thunder.
My characters are:
"If the Ogre Shaman see's what's being done around here, he'll torch the place himself! It's the only way it will ever feel clean again." -Rogue making lewd insinuations about what the Druid and the ranger got up to when they split the party, and why he's down 1 wild shape.*
*It's actually because somebody needed mauling by a bear, but the Rogue is a dirty bastard.
lol
Hello! I am just a relatively new D&D player, who also likes SimplePlanes and War Thunder.
My characters are:
Tieflings are not resistance to piercing damage, unfortunately.
Lol. This sounds like something that would happen in my party, but knowing them, the rouge would probably be right.........
she/it pronouns
I watch. I wait. I listen. I like roleplaying games. Avid fan of messed up homebrew and horror rpgs. Lancer>dnd5e, go read Kill Six Billion Demons. I will shoot you with my transgenderification beam pew pew