My Monk: I grab my weasel and jump off the edge! DM: Strength check to maintain your grip. Monk: <fails> DM You lose your grip on your weasel, Monk Awww sorry buddy.
Did the weasel survive? You can't just give us cliffhangers like this, man.
Weasel lived with 4 HP. Kept the first watch on the ledge we were camping on.
Yey :)
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Life is very busy unfortunately, gone from most Pbp's indefinitely. If you'd like to contact me, I am on Discord at GreatAxeblade#7595, always happy to chat :)
The party was fishing, and we had to roll to avoid ice flows. My character was piloting one boat, and we had to avoid quite a few on our way onto the lake. However, my water vehicle handling was... not so hot. Our DM: "Bonk! You hit an ice flow. Bonk! You hit..." over and over again- every time sending the party into giggles. And guess what happened on the way back? We very narrowly avoided breaking the boat and dumping half the party into ice cold water.
The party was attempting a stealth mission, and characters who rolled high enough were able to proceed all the way to the edge of the canyon we were spying over. My not so dextrous character happened to roll well and accompanied the ranger to the cliff edge. Our conversation went sort of like this:
Me: Ooh, this is so cool! I've never been able to do this before.
Ranger: Shh
Me: Look at them! I wonder what they're up to.
Ranger: SHH
Me: Um, I'm not usually very stealthy. They might see me on the way back.
Ranger: 'Facepalm"
Me (to DM): Did I mention my dress is bright yellow?
For this one I was DMing. An NPC the party had rescued was actually an enemy of the spy stats, and was planning to betray them. He very much wanted to deter them from exploring the location to protect his allies, so he kept pretending to be clumsy and mentioning how much of a terrible idea the exploration is. He (on separate occasions) tripped over a halberd, ran into a room without looking first, and fell through the floor. The party got suspicious of this, and sent him to wait outside. Later, the party began a confrontation with the spy's allies. I decided that the spy had followed them, and rolled a stealth check to see if he could catch the party by surprise. He rolled a 1 and fell down the stairs the party had just descended, landing prone. Pretending to be clumsy rubbed off on him, I guess!
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Monk: *Uses their Deflect Missiles feature to completely block a giant rock a Stone Giant threw him* Monk: Like, not bad man, you made me use 10% of my power.
Grab the Book! Grab the Book! Don’t grab the Book! Don’t grab the Book!
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Helper of Create a World thread/Sedge is Chaotic Neutral/ Mega Yahtzee High: 34, Low: 14/I speak English, je me parle le Francais, agus Labhraim beagan Gaeilge
Barbarian hands me a fluff ball from his bag Monk : I toss the ball to the ground <rolls a 6> Barbarian : You got a Giant Weasel! Monk: <to DM> doe he look exactly the same every time he's summoned? DM: Yes he does Monk: BUDDY!!! DM: And fortunately, he doesn't recognize you at all. Monk: {looks sheepish} I tried to hang on but I am not strong.
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Talk to your Players.Talk to your DM. If more people used this advice, there would be 24.74% fewer threads on Tactics, Rules and DM discussions.
=========================== Laugh at life or life will laugh at you.
Current D&D Characters: Kromen Flintfist, Hill Dwarf Order of the Scribes Wizard/Armorer Artificer Eiphrok, Half-Orc Oath of Glory Paladin/Draconic Bloodline Sorcerer
Monk: *Uses their Deflect Missiles feature to completely block a giant rock a Stone Giant threw him* Monk: Like, not bad man, you made me use 10% of my power.
I like this one
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I am a conjurer, but the only thing I can summon is disappointment
Status: schools started, so weekday posting is limited.
I'm a member of the "oops I accidentally destroyed someone's brain cult"
I might be losing it at the rate of the heat death of the universe.
"I'm going to be killed by my own party whackin' me with a stick!"
A cleric in the campaign im running. Has ac 20 and the only thing that ever hits is the wizards crit fails.
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This Mug immediately shared with me a transcendental tale of an Infinite Mug that anchors the Universe and keeps it from folding in on itself. I filed this report under "illogical nonsense" and asked why its sign is in Times New Roman font, when it is basic knowledge that Arial Black is a far superior font. I wondered: How did this mug even get past the assembly line with its theistic beliefs and poor font choices?
quote from Romantically Apocalyptic byVitaly S Alexius
*creepy cavern sounds in the IRL room* Player 2: What's that sound? You have a leak, DM? DM: No. It's this ambient sound app I got. It's linked to the speakers around the room. Player 2: Well, cut it out. It's creeping me out. DM: It's a creepy cavern. You're supposed to be creeped out. Player 3: She's got you there, Player 2.
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Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
A party i was DMing for had found an extremely potent alcoholic beverage in the deluxe carriage they bought, while the 2 mature players were riding in the front the 2 idiots were getting wasted in the back of the carriage, as I described how intoxicated they were the weeb drow said "my character is so drunk hes starting to think traps look like men"
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my name is not Bryce
Actor
Certified Dark Sun enjoyer
usually on forum games and not contributing to conversations ¯\_ (ツ)_/
For every user who writes 5 paragraph essays as each of their posts: Remember to touch grass occasionally
Party of Xanlar (half elf paladin), Venn (tiefling sorcerer), Sister Serena (aasimar Life cleric of Pelor), and Ferrin (half elf wizard) plus NPCs Phillip (I think he's a ranger) and a yet nameless shifty kobold (tagging along like a stray dog, presumably because being around us is safer than otherwise). We've been part of an army fighting out in a massive area of swampland and are left in now enemy controlled territory with all our allies either dead or held prisoners in fortifications that assaulting on our own would be suicidal (also no stealthy characters). So we start slogging through the wet mucky swamp for the nearest neutral town in what should be roughly a two week trip on foot.
Prior to setting out Phillip points to the talking, life drinking big dagger/short sword with a live eyeball in the pommel that Xanlar has.
Phillip: Xanlar, just what is that?
Xanlar: Oh, Carl? Carl is awesome.
Phillip: I'm pretty sure I heard it screaming for more blood earlier.
Xanlar: Yeah, he gets a little feisty sometimes.
After slogging through mud and chest high water for six days, we encounter a huge constrictor snake and decide to just fight it instead of going around through more muck. Serena ends up getting the killing blow by swinging her mace up through the roof of it's mouth while it was biting her shoulder, mashing it's brain and getting her covered in blood splatter. Immediately after the fight, a pair of aarakoocra approach and claim the snake as their kill as they've been hunting it to feed their village. The party negotiates to take as much meat as they can carry since they killed it and letting them have the rest. Having noticed Serena's spiritual weapon they ask if she's a priestess recalling a time that another priest of Pelor helped their people. They explain that a gang of bandits has blocked off the stream that provides their village with fresh clean water (most of the swamp water is mucky and nasty) and is extorting them for money they don't have. Serena is eager to provide help to someone in a way that can produce clear good results and the rest of the party also agrees. First we all pick up the massive snake and carry/drag it back to the village. Three of us get natural 20s on the strength checks to do so, so we get there fairly fast and without incident.
DM: As you finally get to solid dry ground for the first time in a week, Serena, you notice that the kobold has been clinging to your backpack as he drops off and collapses on the ground.
Serena: You could have helped, you know.
Kobold: You're stronger than me. And I'm an emotional support kobold. I help by just being around.
While sharing a big meal of snake soup, the villagers say they can't offer anything of a reward for helping them. Serena explains her philosophy that good people doing good deeds makes the world a better place, and that she's very happy to be able to actually help people. DM notes that one of the village children is looking suspiciously at her.
Kid: So, uh, who were you helping when you get covered in all that blood?
Serena: Unfortunately not everything in the world is good. And the blood came from the snake while it was trying to eat me, so the good that came from that was that we all have plenty to eat right now.
Next morning, getting ready to head out to the bandit camp. Note that the kobold calls Venn "goat" because of his ram-like horns.
Kobold: So, Goat, I've been wondering. Was your mom the goat, or was she the one that has a thing for goats?
Kobold runs away, Venn throws Henry (frog familiar) at him, rolling low and missing.
Venn: Sorry Henry!
DM: *makes irritated ribbit sound*
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Yey :)
Life is very busy unfortunately, gone from most Pbp's indefinitely.
If you'd like to contact me, I am on Discord at GreatAxeblade#7595, always happy to chat :)
Homebrew races: ~Otterfolk! Play as a otter!~ Playable Dryad! (Literally just the monster sheet ported to player race)
Sauce Archpriest!- Join the Supreme Court of Sauces! Join the Cult of Cults! EXTENDED SIGNATURE Tooltips
The party was fishing, and we had to roll to avoid ice flows. My character was piloting one boat, and we had to avoid quite a few on our way onto the lake. However, my water vehicle handling was... not so hot. Our DM: "Bonk! You hit an ice flow. Bonk! You hit..." over and over again- every time sending the party into giggles. And guess what happened on the way back? We very narrowly avoided breaking the boat and dumping half the party into ice cold water.
The party was attempting a stealth mission, and characters who rolled high enough were able to proceed all the way to the edge of the canyon we were spying over. My not so dextrous character happened to roll well and accompanied the ranger to the cliff edge. Our conversation went sort of like this:
Me: Ooh, this is so cool! I've never been able to do this before.
Ranger: Shh
Me: Look at them! I wonder what they're up to.
Ranger: SHH
Me: Um, I'm not usually very stealthy. They might see me on the way back.
Ranger: 'Facepalm"
Me (to DM): Did I mention my dress is bright yellow?
For this one I was DMing. An NPC the party had rescued was actually an enemy of the spy stats, and was planning to betray them. He very much wanted to deter them from exploring the location to protect his allies, so he kept pretending to be clumsy and mentioning how much of a terrible idea the exploration is. He (on separate occasions) tripped over a halberd, ran into a room without looking first, and fell through the floor. The party got suspicious of this, and sent him to wait outside. Later, the party began a confrontation with the spy's allies. I decided that the spy had followed them, and rolled a stealth check to see if he could catch the party by surprise. He rolled a 1 and fell down the stairs the party had just descended, landing prone. Pretending to be clumsy rubbed off on him, I guess!
Only spilt the party if you see something shiny.
Ariendela Sneakerson, Half-elf Rogue (8); Harmony Wolfsbane, Tiefling Bard (10); Agnomally, Gnomish Sorcerer (3); Breeze, Tabaxi Monk (8); Grace, Dragonborn Barbarian (7); DM, Homebrew- The Sequestered Lands/Underwater Explorers; Candlekeep
P1: "Hey, you broke the fourth w-"
P2: "We don't have a fourth wall anymore."
i can roll nat 1s on command
my homebrew thingies
Magic Items - Monsters - Subclasses
🤣
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Tabaxi Monk/Wizard: *Kills Goblin Boss without using any Ki or Spell Slots*
Tabaxi Monk/Wizard: This isn’t even my final form.
Mystic v3 should be official, nuff said.
"I'm going to be killed by my own party whackin' me with a stick!"
Hombrew: Way of Wresting, Circle of Sacrifice
"Nice you deep fry them all"
Black Lives Matter
Count as high as you can before Nikoli_Goodfellow Posts!
Extended Signature, The Best Paradox, We all knew it.
I participate in the Level 20 Gladiator Arena with several champions they are all in my extended signature Win Streak: 0 Total Wins: 19 Total Loses: 6
Monk: *Uses their Deflect Missiles feature to completely block a giant rock a Stone Giant threw him*
Monk: Like, not bad man, you made me use 10% of my power.
Mystic v3 should be official, nuff said.
Grab the Book! Grab the Book! Don’t grab the Book! Don’t grab the Book!
Helper of Create a World thread/Sedge is Chaotic Neutral/ Mega Yahtzee High: 34, Low: 14/I speak English, je me parle le Francais, agus Labhraim beagan Gaeilge
Dream of Days Lore Bard 9/Wizard 4 Baulder's Gate: Descent to Avernus (In Person/Over Zoom)
Saleadon Morgul Battle Smith Artificer 11 Tyranny of Dragons (In Person/Over Zoom)
Hurtharn Serpti Ghostslayer Blood Hunter 7 Spelljammer (Over Zoom)
Ex Sig
Barbarian hands me a fluff ball from his bag
Monk : I toss the ball to the ground <rolls a 6>
Barbarian : You got a Giant Weasel!
Monk: <to DM> doe he look exactly the same every time he's summoned?
DM: Yes he does
Monk: BUDDY!!!
DM: And fortunately, he doesn't recognize you at all.
Monk: {looks sheepish} I tried to hang on but I am not strong.
Talk to your Players. Talk to your DM. If more people used this advice, there would be 24.74% fewer threads on Tactics, Rules and DM discussions.
"I turn and walk away like a villain."
===========================
Laugh at life or life will laugh at you.
Current D&D Characters:
Kromen Flintfist, Hill Dwarf Order of the Scribes Wizard/Armorer Artificer
Eiphrok, Half-Orc Oath of Glory Paladin/Draconic Bloodline Sorcerer
I like this one
I am a conjurer, but the only thing I can summon is disappointment
Status: schools started, so weekday posting is limited.
I'm a member of the "oops I accidentally destroyed someone's brain cult"
I might be losing it at the rate of the heat death of the universe.
Extended Sig
A cleric in the campaign im running. Has ac 20 and the only thing that ever hits is the wizards crit fails.
This Mug immediately shared with me a transcendental tale of an Infinite Mug that anchors the Universe and keeps it from folding in on itself. I filed this report under "illogical nonsense" and asked why its sign is in Times New Roman font, when it is basic knowledge that Arial Black is a far superior font. I wondered: How did this mug even get past the assembly line with its theistic beliefs and poor font choices?
quote from Romantically Apocalyptic by Vitaly S Alexius
“I like how a couple of snowmen on the side of the road has us freaking out.”
"Alright so you successfully insighted god at level 4."
Ranger - I'm going to attack this guy with two wands of magic missile
DM - what's he need to do?
Ranger - Nothing, he's about to die......
Odo Proudfoot - Lvl 10 Halfling Monk - Princes of the Apocalypse (Campaign Finished)
Orryn Pebblefoot - Lvl 5 Rock Gnome Wizard (Deceased) - Waterdeep: Dragon Heist (Deceased)
Anerin Ap Tewdr - Lvl 5 Human (Variant) Bard (College of Valor) - Waterdeep: Dragon Heist
Modern technology is fun.
*creepy cavern sounds in the IRL room*
Player 2: What's that sound? You have a leak, DM?
DM: No. It's this ambient sound app I got. It's linked to the speakers around the room.
Player 2: Well, cut it out. It's creeping me out.
DM: It's a creepy cavern. You're supposed to be creeped out.
Player 3: She's got you there, Player 2.
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
I was trying to explain to my fellow party members that we were trapped and needed to go fight our way out of a cave in the underdark.
Naturally I yelled; " Im not crazy, the talking fish told me so!"
I don't think they believe me... xD
A party i was DMing for had found an extremely potent alcoholic beverage in the deluxe carriage they bought, while the 2 mature players were riding in the front the 2 idiots were getting wasted in the back of the carriage, as I described how intoxicated they were the weeb drow said "my character is so drunk hes starting to think traps look like men"
my name is not Bryce
Actor
Certified Dark Sun enjoyer
usually on forum games and not contributing to conversations ¯\_ (ツ)_/
For every user who writes 5 paragraph essays as each of their posts: Remember to touch grass occasionally
Party of Xanlar (half elf paladin), Venn (tiefling sorcerer), Sister Serena (aasimar Life cleric of Pelor), and Ferrin (half elf wizard) plus NPCs Phillip (I think he's a ranger) and a yet nameless shifty kobold (tagging along like a stray dog, presumably because being around us is safer than otherwise). We've been part of an army fighting out in a massive area of swampland and are left in now enemy controlled territory with all our allies either dead or held prisoners in fortifications that assaulting on our own would be suicidal (also no stealthy characters). So we start slogging through the wet mucky swamp for the nearest neutral town in what should be roughly a two week trip on foot.
Prior to setting out Phillip points to the talking, life drinking big dagger/short sword with a live eyeball in the pommel that Xanlar has.
Phillip: Xanlar, just what is that?
Xanlar: Oh, Carl? Carl is awesome.
Phillip: I'm pretty sure I heard it screaming for more blood earlier.
Xanlar: Yeah, he gets a little feisty sometimes.
After slogging through mud and chest high water for six days, we encounter a huge constrictor snake and decide to just fight it instead of going around through more muck. Serena ends up getting the killing blow by swinging her mace up through the roof of it's mouth while it was biting her shoulder, mashing it's brain and getting her covered in blood splatter. Immediately after the fight, a pair of aarakoocra approach and claim the snake as their kill as they've been hunting it to feed their village. The party negotiates to take as much meat as they can carry since they killed it and letting them have the rest. Having noticed Serena's spiritual weapon they ask if she's a priestess recalling a time that another priest of Pelor helped their people. They explain that a gang of bandits has blocked off the stream that provides their village with fresh clean water (most of the swamp water is mucky and nasty) and is extorting them for money they don't have. Serena is eager to provide help to someone in a way that can produce clear good results and the rest of the party also agrees. First we all pick up the massive snake and carry/drag it back to the village. Three of us get natural 20s on the strength checks to do so, so we get there fairly fast and without incident.
DM: As you finally get to solid dry ground for the first time in a week, Serena, you notice that the kobold has been clinging to your backpack as he drops off and collapses on the ground.
Serena: You could have helped, you know.
Kobold: You're stronger than me. And I'm an emotional support kobold. I help by just being around.
While sharing a big meal of snake soup, the villagers say they can't offer anything of a reward for helping them. Serena explains her philosophy that good people doing good deeds makes the world a better place, and that she's very happy to be able to actually help people. DM notes that one of the village children is looking suspiciously at her.
Kid: So, uh, who were you helping when you get covered in all that blood?
Serena: Unfortunately not everything in the world is good. And the blood came from the snake while it was trying to eat me, so the good that came from that was that we all have plenty to eat right now.
Next morning, getting ready to head out to the bandit camp. Note that the kobold calls Venn "goat" because of his ram-like horns.
Kobold: So, Goat, I've been wondering. Was your mom the goat, or was she the one that has a thing for goats?
Kobold runs away, Venn throws Henry (frog familiar) at him, rolling low and missing.
Venn: Sorry Henry!
DM: *makes irritated ribbit sound*