A few months ago I rolled up a bard on Roll20 and refused to sing songs over discord.  I love the bard class, but my personality in real life nor my desire to roleplay or act can overcome my absolute dread of everyone in the group looking to the bard and/or me as comic relief.  So I did things a little different.

I never once sang a song, instead, I gave inspirational speeches before battle, and during battle I said things like "you're doing a great job, keep up the good work" whilst tossing my inspiration around.  I played him like a bad-ass Viking skald...and it worked for everyone in my group.  (he was also chaotic neutral and good heartedly insane)

My question is, how to YOU try to play a bard outside the "idiot that can dance and sing" box...or do you even bother?

A lore bard could be sage or storyteller. To the outside he could likely appear more like a wizard than a typical bard.

When it comes to wizards, a bard could also feel like a wizard speciallized in illusion and/or enchantment.

Bardic music could be battlecries and commands instead of songs, making the bard a military character like a marshall or battlefield commander.

In a more modern setting, I think it would also be perfectly alright, to take at least inspiration from contemporary musical genres. A dwarven bard could be the father of Heavy Metal, while a warforged bard may be the first to produce what could be considered techno.

I've played two main Bards over the past couple of years:

Habard Ashery

A tiefling con-artisté who only uses music as a distraction or for effect, as his main skills are talking his way out of (or into) situations, with a bit of light thievery on the side. Originally he was College of Lore, but after a hiatus he's returning post Tasha's Cauldron as College of Eloquence (which I would have picked if I'd had it at the time).

His playstyle is cowardly skill monkey with control, debuff and sometimes support (if he can be bothered), plus summon fey so he can summon a satyr that looks like how he imagines himself to look, and who does all the real fighting. I heavily leant into renaming spells, for example Habard Ashery's Burning Sensation, Habard Ashery's Instant Roast and Habard Ashery's Too Hot to Handle. Turns out it's also handy for playing via Avrae, as you need a new name to use a homebrew copy to automatically re-roll 1's (for Flames of Phlegethos).

Headshot image is of Mollymauk from season two of Critical Role, who partly inspired the character alongside Scanlan Shorthalt from season one. Stylistically Habard heavily leans into flamboyance; the party (which he insists upon introducing as "Habard Ashery's Exceedingly Professional Adventuring Guild") owns a pub that he has mostly led the interior decoration of, alongside Habard Ashery's Incredibly Fortified Wagon of Wonders, an armoured wagon purchased at great expense after the first wagon got smashed by a giant, and both are purple and gold to a criminal degree. A lot fun to play, he only went on hiatus because he didn't really fit the tone of the Curse of Strahd portion of our ongoing mega campaign (multiple campaigns stitched together) which our DM chose to make extra dark.

Chortle the Tortle

A cheerful sailor who only plays the bagpipes (but does so ridiculously well, as out of four main attempts he has rolled three natural 20's and a 19).

Because he gets his AC from being a Tortle, it meant I could build him as a swords Bard focusing on Strength, and I play him a bit like a mixture of Barbarian, Bard and Fighter. Last big fight he did a lone frontal assault on a warehouse while enlarged with mirror image also active, attacking with twin handaxes and teleporting up onto a balcony using misty step before collapsing the mezanine level (along with the guards standing on it) inside due to his enlarged weight (Tortles be heavy, and eight times heavy is a broken floor).

Since then he's gained Dual Wielder so he now wields twin battleaxes with even better AC. In general he plays very much like a front line fighter relying on Blade Flourishes to see him through, mostly with an absurd AC, and while his bonus action mostly goes towards two-weapon fighting, he'll sacrifice the extra attack for a crucial inspiration, or a healing word when necessary. But other than that he could not be more different to Habard Ashery while still technically also being a Bard.

I'm also quite tempted to try a College of Whispers Rogue-like intelligence agent type, so that would be three very different styles of Bard, and none of them your classic entertainer as such (Habard would be the closest to that I guess).

I played my bard as a performer. Specifically, he was a clown, college of whispers.I played him in a Bad Santa kind of way. I played in a two-faced manner where he was soft spoken and polite in public, while he was grouchy, bossy, and short-tempered towards his party in private. Worked out great, everyone at the table loved him and remembers him fondly. 

I absolutely love the bard chassis from a mechanical standpoint; the mix of Expert and Spellcaster speaks to me on numerous levels.  If not for the absolute requirement that anybody playing a bard be a rapier-witted musical improv genius with Professional Actor-lecel entertainment skills, the bard would likely be my favorite class.  Alas, the ironclad expectation everywhere is that anyone playing a bard has to be Scanlan Shorthalt-level Instant Weird Al if not better, as well as having an insult game solid enough to go pro on Comedy Central. The expectations people have of bard players are crushing and generally completely ruin the class for me.

I have exactly one exception I hope to play someday - Manadh, a TiffleHoss (tiefling/centaur mixblood) "bard" of the College of Glamour.  I have basically thrown away the entire "singing dancing master entertainer" thing, she doesn't even have proficiency in Performance.  Instead, the intent is to play her as a luck-twisting fey witch whose spells sour the fates of her foes.  A full third of her spell list are different forms of "Curse" spells, and her Inspiration is an explicitly magical boon of fortune rather than Stirring Music.

She's using the Glamour bard framework because it's far and away the best mechanical fit for what I want and I'm deeply attached to this low-key psychotic little-bit-Unseelie pointy-toothed cursemistress, but man. I hate the requirement for every single bard ever to be a horny foppish dandyman Ultramusician, because it means I'm going to have a serious uphill battle getting any-damned-one to take her remotely seriously.

Just...****.  I really wish I could pitch the music proficiencies and just play bards as "Magical Adventurers" rather than having to constantly be inventing Toss A Coin To Your Witcher every single goddamn time I want to use my class abilities...

I think about half of the subclasses don't inspire the sing song dandy. I don't expect them to play that way in my groups but neither am I surprised when it happens.

My current Bard PC plays more like a cowboy than anything else.

Bard is one of my favorite classes this edition. I can’t carry a tune in a bucket. Some people sing badly, I can’t even claim that level of skill. (Really, I’m pitch deaf or something.) Anyway, the last bard I used to play was an actor who “loathed musical theater.” Most of the time he would quote movie “play” lines and such. My current bard often does cheers for bardic inspiration, like cheerleader style cheers. And I narrate her playing badass licks on her lute all rocker style, but I don’t sing or anything, on account’a I literally can’t.

Quote from Killarian_Khan >>

My question is, how to YOU try to play a bard outside the "idiot that can dance and sing" box...or do you even bother?

I've got a warforged College of Spirits bard who is essentially one of those fortune tellers in a booth, like Zoltar from Big... only she escaped her booth. She rarely talks at all, and instead hands out little cards with cryptic "fortunes" on them (which is more a Twilight Zone thing, to be honest)

Quote from AntonSirius >>

Quote from Killarian_Khan >>

My question is, how to YOU try to play a bard outside the "idiot that can dance and sing" box...or do you even bother?

 

I've got a warforged College of Spirits bard who is essentially one of those fortune tellers in a booth, like Zoltar from Big... only she escaped her booth. She rarely talks at all, and instead hands out little cards with cryptic "fortunes" on them (which is more a Twilight Zone thing, to be honest)

 
That’s awesome! I wanted to do a VHuman College of Spirits hare and play her like Whoopi Goldberg in Ghost, but I think your idea is better.

A performer yes, but not a singer or dancer.  I played a short campaign using a Lore Bard who is a non-Cleric Acolyte of a religious order.  Being part of this order, my PC has learned to be low-key and humble most of the time.  However, in combat or on a stage, a wholly different personality appears.  He becomes a masked wrestler using spells like Enlarge for improved grappling and Dancing Lights for "promotional" visual FX.   

When I created my bard I envisioned him as supporting player - stand in the back encouraging everyone (like yours).  His plan was to tell the heroic stories of his companions.  BUT, just given the makeup of our party, he was kind of forced into taking more of a leadership role - and decided that he wanted to tell the stories of his OWN epic adventures and even better, have other bards tell his stories.  I play him as a bard, but also kind of a swashbuckler/rougue (but not multiclassed).  But as he's evolved I've tried to stay true to his original personality as I envisioned it - right before leveling up to 4 he almost died at the hands of evil alchemist and his skeleton minions, so he took the defensive duelist feat for a little more defense, and at level 5 he added spells with more offensive kick - but he learned the Thunderclap cantrip, and Shatter to add to the Thunderwave he already knew and started introducing himself as "Xavier Windswallow, Thunderbard."  He's also kept Hideous Laughter just because it amuses him to use it.

And while I have a playlist of songs for him on my phone, my party (wisely) doesn't ask me to sing.  Although his theme song is AC/DC's "Thunderstruck" of course...

Quote from Yurei1453 >>

 

Just...****.  I really wish I could pitch the music proficiencies and just play bards as "Magical Adventurers" rather than having to constantly be inventing Toss A Coin To Your Witcher every single goddamn time I want to use my class abilities...

 Jaskier was the initial inspiration for my bard but he has, out of necessity, evolved since.

I kinda wish this thread were about a mild mannered Bard who teaches at the local Bardic College until he falls ill and has to get involved in shady dealings to pay for costly clerical treatments.

I played a bard who barely sang. The only time my bard sang was to prove that she was in fact, a bard. Instead, she was an occasional politician, con artist to the wealthy, and espionage agent. I felt the College of Eloquence fit my needs quite well. So much so that even though I am not nearly as strong in argumentation and persuasive speaking, her lowest rolls on persuasion and deception were 23. I could only play her from level 1-10 before my DM grew frustrated by the complexity of his own story and ended the game. Easily the best 2 years of my D&D life as a player.

When some new players killed some police officers while we were investigating some werewolves in the area, they were given the boot by the DM and narratively, they hung the murders around the remaining party’s neck and fled. We spent the next few sessions trying to catch them to clear our names. We never did manage to catch them before the DM called it, but that just means there is a part two to my bard’s story.

Anyway, bards are my favorite class because of this, but I rarely sing or perform with musical instruments.