so basically I'm DMing a D&D campaign, but sometimes one of the players will start blasting rap music (I can't stand rap...) and I don't have the heart to tell him "can you please not? I'm trying to DM a game here" I don't know if my game is just boring or if he'd rather listen to distasteful music while playing. I try to keep going with the game but I find rap incredibly irritating and distracting.. how do I stop this?
Edit: and yes I am usually in the middle of playing suitable medeival playlists when he starts playing his own music... unannounced
Literally the only way to tell this player is to stop blasting music... There isn't a way around this. It's disrespectful to you that they are even doing that in the first place. Heck, if you don't want to tell them in person, just text them or something.
"I've noticed that during games I hear a lot of background noise coming from you that sounds like music which is incompatible with the game I'm trying to run. If you would like to listen to your own music to help you focus on the game, please do so through headphones or earbuds, and at a level which will not be heard by others. If this problem persists, I will unfortunately be unable to keep you at my table as it is distracting to others."
What Nano said. Tell him to stop directly. Anything else and he may not even realize you are speaking to/about him, and then you'll dance around it for a while, and it won't get better. Sometimes you just need to be direct.
I have to admit, that player is usually the closest thing to a peacekeeper in my games. I don't want to know what would happen if I removed him. And he's been one of my best friends for 8 years and were next door neighbors so removing him would give me bigger problems
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my name is not Bryce
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For every user who writes 5 paragraph essays as each of their posts: Remember to touch grass occasionally
I have to admit, that player is usually the closest thing to a peacekeeper in my games. I don't want to know what would happen if I removed him. And he's been one of my best friends for 8 years and were next door neighbors so removing him would give me bigger problems
If he is a good friend, he will understand what you would tell him (AKA stop blaring music)
If he's your friend, just talk to him. Talking is criminally underrated in my opinion. Tons of things can be fixed just by having a quick word with someone.
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I have to admit, that player is usually the closest thing to a peacekeeper in my games. I don't want to know what would happen if I removed him. And he's been one of my best friends for 8 years and were next door neighbors so removing him would give me bigger problems
So just tell him to not do it, or to put in an earphone.
You've known him for 8 years, if you can't have a conversation with him, then you aren't friends.
I"m sort of confused since in the end it seems like you're posting "how do I talk to my friend of 8 years?" This isn't a delicate conversation. If you're friends this shouldn't be a problematic conversation. Basically, "Hey, the music you're playing can be heard over the whole game and it's hard to DM when you do it, please stop." Should suffice. Maybe even ask him why, may they're not feeling the game anymore and the conversation might become constructive instead of simply policing.
People do all sorts of impulsive things in virtual meetings spaces. It's literally unconscious button pushing in a lot of instances. Not the mind game button pushing, but someone actually has an app saying "press me" when they're bored or disengaged. The apps in most cases are literally designed to provoke that. I've seen it in educational, business and political settings, virtual format, for the past year and a half. Could be worse so be glad it's just music.
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Jander Sunstar is the thinking person's Drizzt, fight me.
Didn’t read all the responses but I hate ‘suitable’ background music- just turn it off. Your definition of good music is no more valid than his. No one plays D&D so they can listen to someone else’s music….really, they don’t. Turn yours off…and spend some time finding a few strategically placed sound effects- it’ll add way more to the experience imo than pure noise.
Didn’t read all the responses but I hate ‘suitable’ background music- just turn it off. Your definition of good music is no more valid than his. No one plays D&D so they can listen to someone else’s music….really, they don’t. Turn yours off…and spend some time finding a few strategically placed sound effects- it’ll add way more to the experience imo than pure noise.
Well its not like im playing it at full volume and telling everyone to appreciate the LotR soundtrack. I just have it playing at low volume to set the mood
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my name is not Bryce
Actor
Certified Dark Sun enjoyer
usually on forum games and not contributing to conversations ¯\_ (ツ)_/
For every user who writes 5 paragraph essays as each of their posts: Remember to touch grass occasionally
I could see someone responding as "oh cool, so we can play music we like." Maybe the music he plays is setting the mood he's going for as well? Music doesn't need to be historically accurate to be evocative.
Not that you aren't totally within your rights to shut it down. Just trying to offer a perspective on how it might not be meant to be as disrespectful as you are taking it to be.
There is nothing wrong with mood music, you're the GM, if you want it, play it. But if one of the players tries to over ride it with something else, that is disrespectful. Just ask them to stop playing it in a way that everybody can hear. There is nothing wrong with them listening to their music privately.
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"Sooner or later, your Players are going to smash your railroad into a sandbox."
-Vedexent
"real life is a super high CR."
-OboeLauren
"............anybody got any potatoes? We could drop a potato in each hole an' see which ones get viciously mauled by horrible monsters?"
Well its not like im playing it at full volume and telling everyone to appreciate the LotR soundtrack. I just have it playing at low volume to set the mood
you're playing it at low volume because its setting your mood and you think its having the same effect on everyone else. It probably isn't. Are you playing online? How is he blasting rap music, on his phone? What are playing your music through, your phone? If you're playing it in-person through your phone...really stop. If you're playing it online...reallyreally stop.
again, all just my opinion from someone who really hates it when other people impose their music on me and assume i'm just fine with it.
Well its not like im playing it at full volume and telling everyone to appreciate the LotR soundtrack. I just have it playing at low volume to set the mood
you're playing it at low volume because its setting your mood and you think its having the same effect on everyone else. It probably isn't. Are you playing online? How is he blasting rap music, on his phone? What are playing your music through, your phone? If you're playing it in-person through your phone...really stop. If you're playing it online...reallyreally stop.
again, all just my opinion from someone who really hates it when other people impose their music on me and assume i'm just fine with it.
It is the GMs prerogative to run their game the way they see fit. It is also the players choice if they don't want to play in said game. It is not the place of the player to make demands on the GM.
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"Sooner or later, your Players are going to smash your railroad into a sandbox."
-Vedexent
"real life is a super high CR."
-OboeLauren
"............anybody got any potatoes? We could drop a potato in each hole an' see which ones get viciously mauled by horrible monsters?"
It is the GMs prerogative to run their game the way they see fit. It is also the players choice if they don't want to play in said game. It is not the place of the player to make demands on the GM.
i agree completely, it boils down to 'you want to do it differently, then you DM'. But if the DM isn't willing to just kick someone because of a certain behavior, they should come to terms with why a player is acting the way he is...and (IMO) its because he's trying to drown out someone else's definition of good music with his own definition of good music.
...and if the DM is playing it in person on a phone, the quality is probably crap which is even more irritating...and if the DM is doing it online, its just more noise when its hard to understand people in the first place on connections of varying quality.
...just seriously not at all a fan of background music. 60 seconds when you enter 'the tavern'...sure. Squeeky door noise when you go through a door...sure. Horse noise when you go the barn...sure. But an hour of someone else's music? no thanks.
Well its not like im playing it at full volume and telling everyone to appreciate the LotR soundtrack. I just have it playing at low volume to set the mood
you're playing it at low volume because its setting your mood and you think its having the same effect on everyone else. It probably isn't. Are you playing online? How is he blasting rap music, on his phone? What are playing your music through, your phone? If you're playing it in-person through your phone...really stop. If you're playing it online...reallyreally stop.
again, all just my opinion from someone who really hates it when other people impose their music on me and assume i'm just fine with it.
It is the GMs prerogative to run their game the way they see fit. It is also the players choice if they don't want to play in said game. It is not the place of the player to make demands on the GM.
Just because GMs are rare enough that they can say, "like it or leave" as a response to criticism doesn't mean it's always cool to do so. Personally I feel like a big part of my job is providing a game my players will enjoy, and something like mood music typically isn't a big enough deal to lose some players over.
You think that rap sucks, he thinks your mood music sucks. Get rid of the music.
Anyone saying, you're the DM, your table, your rules...just stop this as well. Grow up. This is just as bad if not worse than the Wangrod Defense when it comes to justifying your position.
so basically I'm DMing a D&D campaign, but sometimes one of the players will start blasting rap music (I can't stand rap...) and I don't have the heart to tell him "can you please not? I'm trying to DM a game here" I don't know if my game is just boring or if he'd rather listen to distasteful music while playing. I try to keep going with the game but I find rap incredibly irritating and distracting.. how do I stop this?
Edit: and yes I am usually in the middle of playing suitable medeival playlists when he starts playing his own music... unannounced
my name is not Bryce
Actor
Certified Dark Sun enjoyer
usually on forum games and not contributing to conversations ¯\_ (ツ)_/
For every user who writes 5 paragraph essays as each of their posts: Remember to touch grass occasionally
Literally the only way to tell this player is to stop blasting music... There isn't a way around this. It's disrespectful to you that they are even doing that in the first place. Heck, if you don't want to tell them in person, just text them or something.
"I've noticed that during games I hear a lot of background noise coming from you that sounds like music which is incompatible with the game I'm trying to run. If you would like to listen to your own music to help you focus on the game, please do so through headphones or earbuds, and at a level which will not be heard by others. If this problem persists, I will unfortunately be unable to keep you at my table as it is distracting to others."
What Nano said. Tell him to stop directly. Anything else and he may not even realize you are speaking to/about him, and then you'll dance around it for a while, and it won't get better. Sometimes you just need to be direct.
I have to admit, that player is usually the closest thing to a peacekeeper in my games. I don't want to know what would happen if I removed him. And he's been one of my best friends for 8 years and were next door neighbors so removing him would give me bigger problems
my name is not Bryce
Actor
Certified Dark Sun enjoyer
usually on forum games and not contributing to conversations ¯\_ (ツ)_/
For every user who writes 5 paragraph essays as each of their posts: Remember to touch grass occasionally
If he is a good friend, he will understand what you would tell him (AKA stop blaring music)
If he's your friend, just talk to him. Talking is criminally underrated in my opinion. Tons of things can be fixed just by having a quick word with someone.
Want to start playing but don't have anyone to play with? You can try these options: [link].
Why?
All things Lich - DM tips, tricks, and other creative shenanigans
So just tell him to not do it, or to put in an earphone.
You've known him for 8 years, if you can't have a conversation with him, then you aren't friends.
I"m sort of confused since in the end it seems like you're posting "how do I talk to my friend of 8 years?" This isn't a delicate conversation. If you're friends this shouldn't be a problematic conversation. Basically, "Hey, the music you're playing can be heard over the whole game and it's hard to DM when you do it, please stop." Should suffice. Maybe even ask him why, may they're not feeling the game anymore and the conversation might become constructive instead of simply policing.
People do all sorts of impulsive things in virtual meetings spaces. It's literally unconscious button pushing in a lot of instances. Not the mind game button pushing, but someone actually has an app saying "press me" when they're bored or disengaged. The apps in most cases are literally designed to provoke that. I've seen it in educational, business and political settings, virtual format, for the past year and a half. Could be worse so be glad it's just music.
Jander Sunstar is the thinking person's Drizzt, fight me.
Didn’t read all the responses but I hate ‘suitable’ background music- just turn it off. Your definition of good music is no more valid than his. No one plays D&D so they can listen to someone else’s music….really, they don’t. Turn yours off…and spend some time finding a few strategically placed sound effects- it’ll add way more to the experience imo than pure noise.
Guide to the Five Factions (PWYW)
Deck of Decks
Well it was an easier fix than I thought. I should stop overthinkinking everything
my name is not Bryce
Actor
Certified Dark Sun enjoyer
usually on forum games and not contributing to conversations ¯\_ (ツ)_/
For every user who writes 5 paragraph essays as each of their posts: Remember to touch grass occasionally
Well its not like im playing it at full volume and telling everyone to appreciate the LotR soundtrack. I just have it playing at low volume to set the mood
my name is not Bryce
Actor
Certified Dark Sun enjoyer
usually on forum games and not contributing to conversations ¯\_ (ツ)_/
For every user who writes 5 paragraph essays as each of their posts: Remember to touch grass occasionally
I could see someone responding as "oh cool, so we can play music we like." Maybe the music he plays is setting the mood he's going for as well? Music doesn't need to be historically accurate to be evocative.
Not that you aren't totally within your rights to shut it down. Just trying to offer a perspective on how it might not be meant to be as disrespectful as you are taking it to be.
My homebrew subclasses (full list here)
(Artificer) Swordmage | Glasswright | (Barbarian) Path of the Savage Embrace
(Bard) College of Dance | (Fighter) Warlord | Cannoneer
(Monk) Way of the Elements | (Ranger) Blade Dancer
(Rogue) DaggerMaster | Inquisitor | (Sorcerer) Riftwalker | Spellfist
(Warlock) The Swarm
There is nothing wrong with mood music, you're the GM, if you want it, play it. But if one of the players tries to over ride it with something else, that is disrespectful. Just ask them to stop playing it in a way that everybody can hear. There is nothing wrong with them listening to their music privately.
"Sooner or later, your Players are going to smash your railroad into a sandbox."
-Vedexent
"real life is a super high CR."
-OboeLauren
"............anybody got any potatoes? We could drop a potato in each hole an' see which ones get viciously mauled by horrible monsters?"
-Ilyara Thundertale
you're playing it at low volume because its setting your mood and you think its having the same effect on everyone else. It probably isn't. Are you playing online? How is he blasting rap music, on his phone? What are playing your music through, your phone? If you're playing it in-person through your phone...really stop. If you're playing it online...reallyreally stop.
again, all just my opinion from someone who really hates it when other people impose their music on me and assume i'm just fine with it.
Guide to the Five Factions (PWYW)
Deck of Decks
It is the GMs prerogative to run their game the way they see fit. It is also the players choice if they don't want to play in said game. It is not the place of the player to make demands on the GM.
"Sooner or later, your Players are going to smash your railroad into a sandbox."
-Vedexent
"real life is a super high CR."
-OboeLauren
"............anybody got any potatoes? We could drop a potato in each hole an' see which ones get viciously mauled by horrible monsters?"
-Ilyara Thundertale
i agree completely, it boils down to 'you want to do it differently, then you DM'. But if the DM isn't willing to just kick someone because of a certain behavior, they should come to terms with why a player is acting the way he is...and (IMO) its because he's trying to drown out someone else's definition of good music with his own definition of good music.
...and if the DM is playing it in person on a phone, the quality is probably crap which is even more irritating...and if the DM is doing it online, its just more noise when its hard to understand people in the first place on connections of varying quality.
...just seriously not at all a fan of background music. 60 seconds when you enter 'the tavern'...sure. Squeeky door noise when you go through a door...sure. Horse noise when you go the barn...sure. But an hour of someone else's music? no thanks.
Guide to the Five Factions (PWYW)
Deck of Decks
Just because GMs are rare enough that they can say, "like it or leave" as a response to criticism doesn't mean it's always cool to do so. Personally I feel like a big part of my job is providing a game my players will enjoy, and something like mood music typically isn't a big enough deal to lose some players over.
My homebrew subclasses (full list here)
(Artificer) Swordmage | Glasswright | (Barbarian) Path of the Savage Embrace
(Bard) College of Dance | (Fighter) Warlord | Cannoneer
(Monk) Way of the Elements | (Ranger) Blade Dancer
(Rogue) DaggerMaster | Inquisitor | (Sorcerer) Riftwalker | Spellfist
(Warlock) The Swarm
[REDACTED]
You think that rap sucks, he thinks your mood music sucks. Get rid of the music.
Anyone saying, you're the DM, your table, your rules...just stop this as well. Grow up. This is just as bad if not worse than the Wangrod Defense when it comes to justifying your position.