I have been dming for almost a year, I have two groups (one regular, the other a 6-hour one-shot every now and then) on the go and both are going great. The players are all engaged and have no problems getting into the sessions, so in this regard I'm very lucky. I know how I can improve on how I run the game and what the players enjoy or what they hope to see in the campaign later on.
The thing is, I find that in the immediate aftermath of a session and everyone has gone home, I feel anxious about whether everyone had a good time. I go over the session in my head and think things like: "We had too many zombies", "there was too much combat", "why didn't the NPC sound different to the other?" etc.
Is this normal for anyone else? Does anyone else feel a little ... jaded after a D&D session or is it just me being too hard on myself? What do you do to combat the DM blues?
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Sir, the possibility of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately 3,720 to 1!
One of the things that dming has taught me is saying thanks to the DM after a session can mean a lot. It's mentally tiring running a session so I think it's only natural that if you are someone, like myself, who is prone to anxiety that anxious thoughts can creep in after a session. The best way to tell if players are having a good time is if they show up again the next week. If they are then you must be doing something right.
I also don't think it's neccessarily bad to be having those thoughts as long as you don't let them dominate. Self assess your own areas of weakness and improve on them which it sounds like you're at least trying to do.
I try to turn off completly after the session. As soon as the last person has left then I turn off the chat for the game and try to find something non-D&D to do, I try not to think of the game until the following morning. This helps to get some persepctive on the game I find.
I think your reaction is completely understandable.
I think our players are a lot less hard on us than we are on ourselves. For the most part, if they're coming back session after session, they want to be there, and you're doing a good job.
If you really feel you need feedback, then just sit back and watch and listen to your players as they're getting ready to pack up and go home at the end of the game. You can pretty much deduce how they felt about the game by how they're acting, and by their post-game conversation. A great sign is if they're all animatedly talking about the game you just had as they're getting ready to go or in the parking lot outside.
Let your players know that you're always open to talking about problems in the game, or things that they would like to see more of in the game. You don't have to follow their advice or cater to their wishes - that's your call - but allow them to give you feedback at any time.
An advanced player monitoring technique is to make a brief note of how every player is acting, paying attention, or not, during the game and what's going on at the point when you make the note. That's pretty effective, it's also a whole lot of work, in times where you've already got a lot to do.
I have an advantage that perhaps many people do not, in that my wife is one of my players, and she's not shy at all about giving me feedback :p
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I concur with my esteemed colleagues. This is normal and expected as part of the DM's role at the table. If you didn't ever feel this way there might actually be a problem because you weren't being reflective enough to recognize errors and weaknesses in your games and have the motivation to improve them.
An advanced player monitoring technique is to make a brief note of how every player is acting, paying attention, or not, during the game and what's going on at the point when you make the note. That's pretty effective, it's also a whole lot of work, in times where you've already got a lot to do.
When I ran Call of Cthulhu, my unstated goal was to make at least one player say "Oh, #&*$!" each session. If that happened, all the important stuff was on track. Maybe try and set some little goal like that. Think of a scene that should engage one particular player and if it hooks them, you know they're paying attention. It's sort of a shortcut version of what Vedexent recommends here.
Thanks everyone, I'm glad I'm not the only one! This is all really helpful advice to follow. I guess it's something that you a) get used to and b) goes away a little with experience. I have no problem self-assessing areas where I need to improve as a DM, just need to remember not to let myself get caught up in all the minutiae of the game.
I try to turn off completly after the session. As soon as the last person has left then I turn off the chat for the game and try to find something non-D&D to do, I try not to think of the game until the following morning. This helps to get some persepctive on the game I find.
I will try this as I think it's a great idea. I usually immediately write up my notes from the session, but I'm sure I'll still remember the details enough the next day.
I think your reaction is completely understandable.
I think our players are a lot less hard on us than we are on ourselves. For the most part, if they're coming back session after session, they want to be there, and you're doing a good job.
If you really feel you need feedback, then just sit back and watch and listen to your players as they're getting ready to pack up and go home at the end of the game. You can pretty much deduce how they felt about the game by how they're acting, and by their post-game conversation. A great sign is if they're all animatedly talking about the game you just had as they're getting ready to go or in the parking lot outside.
Let your players know that you're always open to talking about problems in the game, or things that they would like to see more of in the game. You don't have to follow their advice or cater to their wishes - that's your call - but allow them to give you feedback at any time.
An advanced player monitoring technique is to make a brief note of how every player is acting, paying attention, or not, during the game and what's going on at the point when you make the note. That's pretty effective, it's also a whole lot of work, in times where you've already got a lot to do.
I have an advantage that perhaps many people do not, in that my wife is one of my players, and she's not shy at all about giving me feedback :p
Great advice as always, Vedexent. My wife is a part of both tables, and often tells me I'm worrying about nothing! Last time they had been caught by Harmun Kost raiding his tent, who wasn't best pleased. I played him as a typically evil, weedy-voiced necromancy and she leaned in and whispered "I am loving this NPC by the way!".
An advanced player monitoring technique is to make a brief note of how every player is acting, paying attention, or not, during the game and what's going on at the point when you make the note. That's pretty effective, it's also a whole lot of work, in times where you've already got a lot to do.
When I ran Call of Cthulhu, my unstated goal was to make at least one player say "Oh, #&*$!" each session. If that happened, all the important stuff was on track. Maybe try and set some little goal like that. Think of a scene that should engage one particular player and if it hooks them, you know they're paying attention. It's sort of a shortcut version of what Vedexent recommends here.
I always like to end the session on a cliffhanger, which seems to work well in terms of the "Oh, #&*$!" scale.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Sir, the possibility of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately 3,720 to 1!
I go through it and have been a DM for a very long time. Its normal for every DM to experience it. Just dont let it eat at you. Being a Dungeon master or game master is fun and rewarding but it is also a responsibility. Not just for yourself but to the players as well. So yeah, its natural for you to be a bit hard on yourself. Dont worry about.
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Hi Everyone,
I have been dming for almost a year, I have two groups (one regular, the other a 6-hour one-shot every now and then) on the go and both are going great. The players are all engaged and have no problems getting into the sessions, so in this regard I'm very lucky. I know how I can improve on how I run the game and what the players enjoy or what they hope to see in the campaign later on.
The thing is, I find that in the immediate aftermath of a session and everyone has gone home, I feel anxious about whether everyone had a good time. I go over the session in my head and think things like: "We had too many zombies", "there was too much combat", "why didn't the NPC sound different to the other?" etc.
Is this normal for anyone else? Does anyone else feel a little ... jaded after a D&D session or is it just me being too hard on myself? What do you do to combat the DM blues?
Sir, the possibility of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately 3,720 to 1!
Never tell me the DC.
One of the things that dming has taught me is saying thanks to the DM after a session can mean a lot. It's mentally tiring running a session so I think it's only natural that if you are someone, like myself, who is prone to anxiety that anxious thoughts can creep in after a session. The best way to tell if players are having a good time is if they show up again the next week. If they are then you must be doing something right.
I also don't think it's neccessarily bad to be having those thoughts as long as you don't let them dominate. Self assess your own areas of weakness and improve on them which it sounds like you're at least trying to do.
I try to turn off completly after the session. As soon as the last person has left then I turn off the chat for the game and try to find something non-D&D to do, I try not to think of the game until the following morning. This helps to get some persepctive on the game I find.
I think your reaction is completely understandable.
I think our players are a lot less hard on us than we are on ourselves. For the most part, if they're coming back session after session, they want to be there, and you're doing a good job.
If you really feel you need feedback, then just sit back and watch and listen to your players as they're getting ready to pack up and go home at the end of the game. You can pretty much deduce how they felt about the game by how they're acting, and by their post-game conversation. A great sign is if they're all animatedly talking about the game you just had as they're getting ready to go or in the parking lot outside.
Let your players know that you're always open to talking about problems in the game, or things that they would like to see more of in the game. You don't have to follow their advice or cater to their wishes - that's your call - but allow them to give you feedback at any time.
An advanced player monitoring technique is to make a brief note of how every player is acting, paying attention, or not, during the game and what's going on at the point when you make the note. That's pretty effective, it's also a whole lot of work, in times where you've already got a lot to do.
I have an advantage that perhaps many people do not, in that my wife is one of my players, and she's not shy at all about giving me feedback :p
My DM Philosophy, as summed up by other people: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1rN5w4-azTq3Kbn0Yvk9nfqQhwQ1R5by1/view
Disclaimer: This signature is a badge of membership in the Forum Loudmouth Club. We are all friends. We are not attacking each other. We are engaging in spirited, friendly debate with one another. We may get snarky, but these are not attacks. Thank you for not reporting us.
I concur with my esteemed colleagues. This is normal and expected as part of the DM's role at the table. If you didn't ever feel this way there might actually be a problem because you weren't being reflective enough to recognize errors and weaknesses in your games and have the motivation to improve them.
Same thing happens to me (and the other person that DMs in my group)
To help, you can just straight up ask your players, "Did you have fun" and "Is there anything you want to change / happen more / happen less"
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Don't even get me started, I typically can't get to sleep on the nights that I DM because I'm so anxious afterward.
But hey, it's super fun.
When I ran Call of Cthulhu, my unstated goal was to make at least one player say "Oh, #&*$!" each session. If that happened, all the important stuff was on track. Maybe try and set some little goal like that. Think of a scene that should engage one particular player and if it hooks them, you know they're paying attention. It's sort of a shortcut version of what Vedexent recommends here.
Thanks everyone, I'm glad I'm not the only one! This is all really helpful advice to follow. I guess it's something that you a) get used to and b) goes away a little with experience. I have no problem self-assessing areas where I need to improve as a DM, just need to remember not to let myself get caught up in all the minutiae of the game.
I will try this as I think it's a great idea. I usually immediately write up my notes from the session, but I'm sure I'll still remember the details enough the next day.
Great advice as always, Vedexent. My wife is a part of both tables, and often tells me I'm worrying about nothing! Last time they had been caught by Harmun Kost raiding his tent, who wasn't best pleased. I played him as a typically evil, weedy-voiced necromancy and she leaned in and whispered "I am loving this NPC by the way!".
I always like to end the session on a cliffhanger, which seems to work well in terms of the "Oh, #&*$!" scale.
Sir, the possibility of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately 3,720 to 1!
Never tell me the DC.
I go through it and have been a DM for a very long time. Its normal for every DM to experience it. Just dont let it eat at you. Being a Dungeon master or game master is fun and rewarding but it is also a responsibility. Not just for yourself but to the players as well. So yeah, its natural for you to be a bit hard on yourself. Dont worry about.