I should also mention that I am a “reluctant” DM as no one in our group wanted the job, I even went as far to post in a couple meetups and other Facebook groups. Offering to pay a reasonable fee for someone to come in and DM for us. Again no response. So, I’m doing it. Now here’s the thing. Not only do I do all the game prep, I also serve as host. So I do all the house cleaning too and set up for game day. So when game day finally comes. I’m already exhausted. So it not so much to ask your players to at least to do their characters and details. After all it their character, and the group’s story/world we are creating. And DM is just the guide, referee, and storyteller.
Have you tried explaining this to them in just this way? People just see a nice neat house when they show up, not all the work that went into cleaning it and straightening up. They just see the snacks and sodas, not all the shopping and time that went into buying and prepping it all. And they just see the map and the NPCs, not all the work that went into building the town, "stocking" the dungeon, and so on.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
WOTC lies. We know that WOTC lies. WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. We know that WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. And still they lie.
Because of the above (a paraphrase from Orwell) I no longer post to the forums -- PM me if you need help or anything.
I should also mention that I am a “reluctant” DM as no one in our group wanted the job, I even went as far to post in a couple meetups and other Facebook groups. Offering to pay a reasonable fee for someone to come in and DM for us. Again no response. So, I’m doing it. Now here’s the thing. Not only do I do all the game prep, I also starve as host. So I do all the house cleaning too and set up for game day. So when game day finally comes. I’m already exhausted. So it not so much to ask your players to at least to do their characters and details
Welcome to the other side of the screen. Every two weeks (when not in pandemic shutdown) I have to do all of that and cook a meal for 10 people (Me, my wife, my 7 players and any of their SOs who might be coming too) and all for people with different dietary restrictions. DMing is a LOT of work, and we get to help the players too. It’s just the gig.
One technique I have found very helpful is to tell them that the faster they get me a 3 paragraph (500ish words) backstory, the faster their characters get storylines tailored for them. Once I say something like “The reason this is the first adventure is because the cleric’s was the first backstory I received.” Then they start rushing to give me their backstories.
Lol me too. Only my group is at most 8. But have cooked for larger groups. If I am PCing But I let everyone know what I’m making and if they have “special” dietary requirements. They either have to let me know and I’ll do my best or they can be responsible for their own meal and snacks. But my group is pretty flexible with food
I should also mention that I am a “reluctant” DM as no one in our group wanted the job, I even went as far to post in a couple meetups and other Facebook groups. Offering to pay a reasonable fee for someone to come in and DM for us. Again no response. So, I’m doing it. Now here’s the thing. Not only do I do all the game prep, I also serve as host. So I do all the house cleaning too and set up for game day. So when game day finally comes. I’m already exhausted. So it not so much to ask your players to at least to do their characters and details. After all it their character, and the group’s story/world we are creating. And DM is just the guide, referee, and storyteller.
Have you tried explaining this to them in just this way? People just see a nice neat house when they show up, not all the work that went into cleaning it and straightening up. They just see the snacks and sodas, not all the shopping and time that went into buying and prepping it all. And they just see the map and the NPCs, not all the work that went into building the town, "stocking" the dungeon, and so on.
😁 I’d be happy if they just created their characters. 2 of my 6 have started. Thanks for all the advice
Well you could try, "If you guys don't want to play D&D, that's OK. Just tell me now before I spend all this time preparing dungeons and we never even use them."
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
WOTC lies. We know that WOTC lies. WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. We know that WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. And still they lie.
Because of the above (a paraphrase from Orwell) I no longer post to the forums -- PM me if you need help or anything.
I should also mention that I am a “reluctant” DM as no one in our group wanted the job, I even went as far to post in a couple meetups and other Facebook groups. Offering to pay a reasonable fee for someone to come in and DM for us. Again no response. So, I’m doing it. Now here’s the thing. Not only do I do all the game prep, I also starve as host. So I do all the house cleaning too and set up for game day. So when game day finally comes. I’m already exhausted. So it not so much to ask your players to at least to do their characters and details
Welcome to the other side of the screen. Every two weeks (when not in pandemic shutdown) I have to do all of that and cook a meal for 10 people (Me, my wife, my 7 players and any of their SOs who might be coming too) and all for people with different dietary restrictions. DMing is a LOT of work, and we get to help the players too. It’s just the gig.
One technique I have found very helpful is to tell them that the faster they get me a 3 paragraph (500ish words) backstory, the faster their characters get storylines tailored for them. Once I say something like “The reason this is the first adventure is because the cleric’s was the first backstory I received.” Then they start rushing to give me their backstories.
Lol me too. Only my group is at most 8. But have cooked for larger groups. If I am PCing But I let everyone know what I’m making and if they have “special” dietary requirements. They either have to let me know and I’ll do my best or they can be responsible for their own meal and snacks. But my group is pretty flexible with food
Wait. You guys cook? I think you're doing D&D wrong. Bribing the DM with food and beer is a founding principal of the game. How else are you supposed to know who not to kill that week. :)
I should also mention that I am a “reluctant” DM as no one in our group wanted the job, I even went as far to post in a couple meetups and other Facebook groups. Offering to pay a reasonable fee for someone to come in and DM for us. Again no response. So, I’m doing it. Now here’s the thing. Not only do I do all the game prep, I also starve as host. So I do all the house cleaning too and set up for game day. So when game day finally comes. I’m already exhausted. So it not so much to ask your players to at least to do their characters and details
Welcome to the other side of the screen. Every two weeks (when not in pandemic shutdown) I have to do all of that and cook a meal for 10 people (Me, my wife, my 7 players and any of their SOs who might be coming too) and all for people with different dietary restrictions. DMing is a LOT of work, and we get to help the players too. It’s just the gig.
One technique I have found very helpful is to tell them that the faster they get me a 3 paragraph (500ish words) backstory, the faster their characters get storylines tailored for them. Once I say something like “The reason this is the first adventure is because the cleric’s was the first backstory I received.” Then they start rushing to give me their backstories.
Lol me too. Only my group is at most 8. But have cooked for larger groups. If I am PCing But I let everyone know what I’m making and if they have “special” dietary requirements. They either have to let me know and I’ll do my best or they can be responsible for their own meal and snacks. But my group is pretty flexible with food
Wait. You guys cook? I think you're doing D&D wrong. Bribing the DM with food and beer is a founding principal of the game. How else are you supposed to know who not to kill that week. :)
I’m Italian. If you leave my house hungry I did it wrong.
Everyone brings different stuff too, just not everybody every time so I make sure there’s food. Plus, it helps make sure people show up on time (mostly) if they don’t have to stop anywhere.
I should also mention that I am a “reluctant” DM as no one in our group wanted the job, I even went as far to post in a couple meetups and other Facebook groups. Offering to pay a reasonable fee for someone to come in and DM for us. Again no response. So, I’m doing it. Now here’s the thing. Not only do I do all the game prep, I also serve as host. So I do all the house cleaning too and set up for game day. So when game day finally comes. I’m already exhausted. So it not so much to ask your players to at least to do their characters and details. After all it their character, and the group’s story/world we are creating. And DM is just the guide, referee, and storyteller.
First of all, welcome to being a DM! Your situation may not be what you'd think of as ideal, but having started in a pretty similar situation myself I promise it can be a blast.
I noticed that you specifically mentioned hosting as being a drain on your energy when it comes to DMing. There's two things you could do to try to solve this problem. The first is maybe see if there's things you could cut from cleaning/house prep that doesn't relate to the session (I also admit that I am a slob, so this may not be something for you). The second is you could maybe talk with your players and let them know the hosting is acting as a drain, and ask if any of them might be willing to act as host so that you could focus on setting up the session without overextending yourself.
The last thing I want to throw out is that you are the DM, but DM's are a player too, of sorts. You set up the world and act as adjudicator, but you're also there to have fun, and being able to have fun will definitely improve the quality of your games.
I should also mention that I am a “reluctant” DM as no one in our group wanted the job, I even went as far to post in a couple meetups and other Facebook groups. Offering to pay a reasonable fee for someone to come in and DM for us. Again no response. So, I’m doing it. Now here’s the thing. Not only do I do all the game prep, I also serve as host. So I do all the house cleaning too and set up for game day. So when game day finally comes. I’m already exhausted. So it not so much to ask your players to at least to do their characters and details. After all it their character, and the group’s story/world we are creating. And DM is just the guide, referee, and storyteller.
First of all, welcome to being a DM! Your situation may not be what you'd think of as ideal, but having started in a pretty similar situation myself I promise it can be a blast.
I noticed that you specifically mentioned hosting as being a drain on your energy when it comes to DMing. There's two things you could do to try to solve this problem. The first is maybe see if there's things you could cut from cleaning/house prep that doesn't relate to the session (I also admit that I am a slob, so this may not be something for you). The second is you could maybe talk with your players and let them know the hosting is acting as a drain, and ask if any of them might be willing to act as host so that you could focus on setting up the session without overextending yourself.
The last thing I want to throw out is that you are the DM, but DM's are a player too, of sorts. You set up the world and act as adjudicator, but you're also there to have fun, and being able to have fun will definitely improve the quality of your games.
We host because we are in the middle. We have players in 3 cities. Just happen to be 10 to 15 minutes from everyone.
I should also mention that I am a “reluctant” DM as no one in our group wanted the job, I even went as far to post in a couple meetups and other Facebook groups. Offering to pay a reasonable fee for someone to come in and DM for us. Again no response. So, I’m doing it. Now here’s the thing. Not only do I do all the game prep, I also serve as host. So I do all the house cleaning too and set up for game day. So when game day finally comes. I’m already exhausted. So it not so much to ask your players to at least to do their characters and details. After all it their character, and the group’s story/world we are creating. And DM is just the guide, referee, and storyteller.
First of all, welcome to being a DM! Your situation may not be what you'd think of as ideal, but having started in a pretty similar situation myself I promise it can be a blast.
I noticed that you specifically mentioned hosting as being a drain on your energy when it comes to DMing. There's two things you could do to try to solve this problem. The first is maybe see if there's things you could cut from cleaning/house prep that doesn't relate to the session (I also admit that I am a slob, so this may not be something for you). The second is you could maybe talk with your players and let them know the hosting is acting as a drain, and ask if any of them might be willing to act as host so that you could focus on setting up the session without overextending yourself.
The last thing I want to throw out is that you are the DM, but DM's are a player too, of sorts. You set up the world and act as adjudicator, but you're also there to have fun, and being able to have fun will definitely improve the quality of your games.
We host because we are in the middle. We have players in 3 cities. Just happen to be 10 to 15 minutes from everyone.
Maybe each player could take turns hosting. You have to prep the entire multiverse for them everysession, let them take care of the cooking and vacuuming each 1ce/7 sessions. (You said group of 8, I assumed you were one of them, see if your Magnificent 7 Players can deal with that stuff.) And with everyone taking turns it will still never be any more inconvenient for everyone equally, and less inconvenient for you.
Have you tried explaining this to them in just this way? People just see a nice neat house when they show up, not all the work that went into cleaning it and straightening up. They just see the snacks and sodas, not all the shopping and time that went into buying and prepping it all. And they just see the map and the NPCs, not all the work that went into building the town, "stocking" the dungeon, and so on.
WOTC lies. We know that WOTC lies. WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. We know that WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. And still they lie.
Because of the above (a paraphrase from Orwell) I no longer post to the forums -- PM me if you need help or anything.
Lol me too. Only my group is at most 8. But have cooked for larger groups. If I am PCing But I let everyone know what I’m making and if they have “special” dietary requirements. They either have to let me know and I’ll do my best or they can be responsible for their own meal and snacks. But my group is pretty flexible with food
😁 I’d be happy if they just created their characters. 2 of my 6 have started. Thanks for all the advice
Well you could try, "If you guys don't want to play D&D, that's OK. Just tell me now before I spend all this time preparing dungeons and we never even use them."
WOTC lies. We know that WOTC lies. WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. We know that WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. And still they lie.
Because of the above (a paraphrase from Orwell) I no longer post to the forums -- PM me if you need help or anything.
Wait. You guys cook? I think you're doing D&D wrong. Bribing the DM with food and beer is a founding principal of the game. How else are you supposed to know who not to kill that week. :)
I’m Italian. If you leave my house hungry I did it wrong.
Everyone brings different stuff too, just not everybody every time so I make sure there’s food. Plus, it helps make sure people show up on time (mostly) if they don’t have to stop anywhere.
Creating Epic Boons on DDB
DDB Buyers' Guide
Hardcovers, DDB & You
Content Troubleshooting
First of all, welcome to being a DM! Your situation may not be what you'd think of as ideal, but having started in a pretty similar situation myself I promise it can be a blast.
I noticed that you specifically mentioned hosting as being a drain on your energy when it comes to DMing. There's two things you could do to try to solve this problem. The first is maybe see if there's things you could cut from cleaning/house prep that doesn't relate to the session (I also admit that I am a slob, so this may not be something for you). The second is you could maybe talk with your players and let them know the hosting is acting as a drain, and ask if any of them might be willing to act as host so that you could focus on setting up the session without overextending yourself.
The last thing I want to throw out is that you are the DM, but DM's are a player too, of sorts. You set up the world and act as adjudicator, but you're also there to have fun, and being able to have fun will definitely improve the quality of your games.
We host because we are in the middle. We have players in 3 cities. Just happen to be 10 to 15 minutes from everyone.
Maybe each player could take turns hosting. You have to prep the entire multiverse for them every session, let them take care of the cooking and vacuuming each 1ce/7 sessions. (You said group of 8, I assumed you were one of them, see if your Magnificent 7 Players can deal with that stuff.) And with everyone taking turns it will still never be any more inconvenient for everyone equally, and less inconvenient for you.
Creating Epic Boons on DDB
DDB Buyers' Guide
Hardcovers, DDB & You
Content Troubleshooting