Not 100% certain that this is the right place for this, but I'm looking for feedback on a homebrew magic item I made. It's published now here on DnDB, so I'd like to hear other people's thoughts on it. Here's the item: [Tooltip Not Found]
The item itself seems pretty straight forward, but what is "Additional Traits: Human, Arcane, Regalia, Key, War Leader" doing at the top of the description?
"The relevant equation is: Knowledge = power = energy = matter = mass; a good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read." - Terry Pratchett
That's a reference to the Additional Traits used in the DMG for Dungeon Masters to help customize their magic items. I included it immediately after the flavor text at the top because most of those traits (Human, Arcane, and Regalia) are cosmetic and go along with the flavor text to give an idea what the item is like.
As most of that is in the flavor text, I would remove that section and add to the magic item description the benefits of Key and War Leader. I would also tooltip all the magic items and spells in the description and perhaps either tooltip ring of spell storing or transcribe the description of it before the three different power levels.
"The relevant equation is: Knowledge = power = energy = matter = mass; a good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read." - Terry Pratchett
The text of the item gives stats for the Heightened state and Exalted state but doesn't say anything about how these states are reached/activated.
"Synergizes with the Staff of the Magi and the Robe of the Archmagi. If all three items are attuned they only use two attunement slots together." - I understand what you mean here, but following some of the ways that official stats have worked, it might be better to state something like, "Whilst all three of Staciaphel, the Blossoming Star, Staff of the Magi, and the Robe of the Archmagi are equipped and attuned to, the character gains a bonus attunement slot. This bonus slot is lost if any of the three items become unattuned."
Describe what the spell storing does, rather than refer to another item that people then need to look up.
Thanks for the advice guys! I'll definitely take a look at it again and probably rework a few things when I do an updated version.
As far as why I didn't specify how the different states are attained, this item's structure was largely inspired by the "Vestiges of Divergence" in Matthew Mercer's Tal'dorei campaign setting. In that sourcebook, Mercer indicates that he didn't give specific conditions for the different states because he wanted to leave it open to the DM/GM to set their own conditions, so I went with the same approach.
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Not 100% certain that this is the right place for this, but I'm looking for feedback on a homebrew magic item I made. It's published now here on DnDB, so I'd like to hear other people's thoughts on it. Here's the item: [Tooltip Not Found]
Okay, since it seems tooltips don't work for homebrew items, here's a link to the details page: https://www.dndbeyond.com/magic-items/87179-staciaphel-the-blossoming-star-dormant
The item itself seems pretty straight forward, but what is "Additional Traits: Human, Arcane, Regalia, Key, War Leader" doing at the top of the description?
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Astromancer's Homebrew Assembly
"The relevant equation is: Knowledge = power = energy = matter = mass; a good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read." - Terry Pratchett
That's a reference to the Additional Traits used in the DMG for Dungeon Masters to help customize their magic items. I included it immediately after the flavor text at the top because most of those traits (Human, Arcane, and Regalia) are cosmetic and go along with the flavor text to give an idea what the item is like.
As most of that is in the flavor text, I would remove that section and add to the magic item description the benefits of Key and War Leader. I would also tooltip all the magic items and spells in the description and perhaps either tooltip ring of spell storing or transcribe the description of it before the three different power levels.
Tooltips | Snippet Code | How to Homebrew on D&D Beyond | Subclass Guide | Feature Roadmap
Astromancer's Homebrew Assembly
"The relevant equation is: Knowledge = power = energy = matter = mass; a good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read." - Terry Pratchett
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D&D Beyond FoundersHeya, looks cool. Here's some observations:
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Thanks for the advice guys! I'll definitely take a look at it again and probably rework a few things when I do an updated version.
As far as why I didn't specify how the different states are attained, this item's structure was largely inspired by the "Vestiges of Divergence" in Matthew Mercer's Tal'dorei campaign setting. In that sourcebook, Mercer indicates that he didn't give specific conditions for the different states because he wanted to leave it open to the DM/GM to set their own conditions, so I went with the same approach.