Here's another of the Robert Howard inspired subclasses my friends and I have been working on. This is no where near as crazy as the Elder Disciple, but I'd like to get some feedback all the same. If all goes well, these are going to be going into a module. This is a warlock for people who love snakes and love roleplaying:
Those who pledge themselves to Yig are gifted boons and powers befitting a servant to the Father of Serpents. Using these gifts, Yig's followers attempt to fulfill his inscrutable goals or their own with cunning, ruthlessness and a gift for manipulation.
Expanded Spell List
The Serpent lets you choose from an expanded list of spells when you learn a warlock spell. The following spells are added to the warlock spell list for you:
Serpent Expanded Spells
Spell Level
Spells
1st
Disguise Self, Charm Person
2nd
Invisibility, Detect Thoughts
3rd
Hypnotic Pattern, Bestow Curse
4th
Arcane Eye, Phantasmal Killer
5th
Geas, Cloudkill
Serpent's Gaze
Beginning at 1st level, you gain the ability to hypnotize a target. Once per long rest, you can force a creature that you can see within 10 feet of you to make a wisdom save with the DC equaling 10 plus your proficiency bonus plus your charisma modifier. On a failed save, the target creature becomes paralyzed. At the beginning of each turn, the paralyzed creature can choose to repeat this saving throw. On a successful save, the creature is no longer paralyzed. The number of uses per long rest increases by 1 at 5th level, by 2 at 10th level and by 3 at 14th level.
Reptilian Resilience
Your patron has granted you an unnatural resilience. Starting at 6th level, you gain resistance to poison damage and have advantage on constitution saves.
Serpent's Gift
Beginning at 10th level, you can use an action to wild shape into a Giant Constrictor Snake once per long rest.For your stats, see the Monster Manual.
Venomous Aura
Beginning at 14th level, you are constantly surrounded by the dark energies of your patron. Any creature within 20 feet of you that is hit by an attack from you or your allies takes an additional 1d10 poison damage.
Paralyzed is a death sentence for your target if you have melee allies. Look at the Enchantment wizards Hypnotic Gaze power. This is way stronger than that in a couple different ways.
I would not use the term "wild shape" for a warlock. Borrow wording from polymorph.
1st and 14th level abilities are too powerful, while 10th level ability is too weak:
Paralysis of any monster is equivalent to a 5th level spell. The 14th level ability is more than 2x more powerful than Crusader's Mantle but with no spellslot cost and no concentration.
Plus it does bizarrely doesn't follow D&D conventions:
DCs are always 8+prof+ability score
Some of the "extended spell list" are already warlock spells so it does nothing to add them to the spell list.
Warlock abilities are almost always short rest recharge not long rest.
Ok, version 2. Fixed spell list, changed Serpent's Gaze condition to incapacitated and nerfed the level 14 ability. I'll have to think of another form for the polymorph ability.
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Here's another of the Robert Howard inspired subclasses my friends and I have been working on. This is no where near as crazy as the Elder Disciple, but I'd like to get some feedback all the same. If all goes well, these are going to be going into a module. This is a warlock for people who love snakes and love roleplaying:
Those who pledge themselves to Yig are gifted boons and powers befitting a servant to the Father of Serpents. Using these gifts, Yig's followers attempt to fulfill his inscrutable goals or their own with cunning, ruthlessness and a gift for manipulation.
Expanded Spell List
The Serpent lets you choose from an expanded list of spells when you learn a warlock spell. The following spells are added to the warlock spell list for you:
Serpent's Gaze
Beginning at 1st level, you gain the ability to hypnotize a target. Once per long rest, you can force a creature that you can see within 10 feet of you to make a wisdom save with the DC equaling 10 plus your proficiency bonus plus your charisma modifier. On a failed save, the target creature becomes paralyzed. At the beginning of each turn, the paralyzed creature can choose to repeat this saving throw. On a successful save, the creature is no longer paralyzed. The number of uses per long rest increases by 1 at 5th level, by 2 at 10th level and by 3 at 14th level.
Reptilian Resilience
Your patron has granted you an unnatural resilience. Starting at 6th level, you gain resistance to poison damage and have advantage on constitution saves.
Serpent's Gift
Beginning at 10th level, you can use an action to wild shape into a Giant Constrictor Snake once per long rest. For your stats, see the Monster Manual.
Venomous Aura
Beginning at 14th level, you are constantly surrounded by the dark energies of your patron. Any creature within 20 feet of you that is hit by an attack from you or your allies takes an additional 1d10 poison damage.
My homebrew subclasses (full list here)
(Artificer) Swordmage | Glasswright | (Barbarian) Path of the Savage Embrace
(Bard) College of Dance | (Fighter) Warlord | Cannoneer
(Monk) Way of the Elements | (Ranger) Blade Dancer
(Rogue) DaggerMaster | Inquisitor | (Sorcerer) Riftwalker | Spellfist
(Warlock) The Swarm
The first-level ability is too strong as is. I would consider making the ability poison the target, and bump it up to paralyzation at a higher level.
1st and 14th level abilities are too powerful, while 10th level ability is too weak:
Paralysis of any monster is equivalent to a 5th level spell. The 14th level ability is more than 2x more powerful than Crusader's Mantle but with no spellslot cost and no concentration.
Plus it does bizarrely doesn't follow D&D conventions:
DCs are always 8+prof+ability score
Some of the "extended spell list" are already warlock spells so it does nothing to add them to the spell list.
Warlock abilities are almost always short rest recharge not long rest.
https://www.dndbeyond.com/subclasses/1828509-the-serpent
Ok, version 2. Fixed spell list, changed Serpent's Gaze condition to incapacitated and nerfed the level 14 ability. I'll have to think of another form for the polymorph ability.