So, me and some friends have started making some subclasses trying to capture the spirit of Robert Howard/Bronze Age/Prehistory. I wanted to share one here for some feedback because its kind of wild. It'll have to be play tested to find out if its broken or completely weak. Here it is:
Those few who were brave or mad enough to delve into the lost knowledge and lore of the inhuman civilizations of eons past almost always find themselves forever changed. Perhaps they came upon these secrets by chance, or perhaps they sought them out. Regardless, one thing is certain: they command dark and terrible magics best left buried and are capable of commanding otherworldly beasts and abominations. These sorcerers are often cruel, hubristic and villainous. This is not to say all are, however. Using many of these powers comes at great cost to the one invoking them for corruption begins to taint their mind, body and soul.
Eldritch Corruption
The effects of corruption points stack and how they are removed is at the discretion of the DM. The effects are as follows:
1-5: Your physical appearance begins to change. You gain advantage on intimidation checks.
6-10: The corruption seeping through you has empowered your attacks and spells. All of your spell damage and attacks now do an additional 1d8 necrotic damage. This amount increases by 1d8 at level 5, 2d8 at level 10, 3d8 at level 15 and 4d8 at level 18. However, your body has also begun to wither. You gain disadvantage on all strength and athletics rolls.
11-15: The corruption has shielded your mind from outside influence. You are now immune to fear and being charmed. However, your mind has begun to fracture. Whenever you attempt to use a class ability, make a wisdom save equal to your spell save DC. On a failed roll, you go temporarily mad for a turn and the action fails.
16-19: You are becoming something more. Any creature that makes an attack roll against you does so at disadvantage. However, your soul has become corrupted to the core and has begun to unravel. Each time you make an attack roll, you take 1d4 psychic damage. All successful attacks against you also deal an additional 1d4 psychic damage.
20: Roll a d4. On each of the following results, something occurs
1-This character dies and cannot be revived with Back from the Void.
2-This character explodes and is killed in a corrupted magical blast. All creatures within 30 feet of you must make a dexterity save equal to your spell save DC. On a failed save, they take 8d6 force damage and on a successful save, they take half damage.
3-This character is set upon by otherworldly beings and pulled into another plane of existence.
4-This character is permanently transformed into a Gibbering Mouther. For its stats, see the Monster Manual. Control of the player character is turned over to the DM.
Voices of the Dead
Starting at 1st level, once per long rest, you can choose to commune with the spirits of the deceased to gain otherworldly information. The spirits can answer any question you might have, at the discretion of the DM. They are only able to answer one question per use. Each time you use this ability, you take 1 point of eldritch corruption.
Dark Calling
Starting at 6th level, once per long rest, you can call and bind a Flying Horror to your service. This monster can be mounted and flown on and gets its own initiative role in combat. This counts as a concentration spell and any time you lose concentration or use another ability that requires concentration, the Flying Horror is immediately dismissed and you take 6d6 psychic damage and 1 point of eldritch corruption. You can choose to dismiss this creature using an action and take no damage. The Flying Horror remains bound to you until you either lose concentration or choose to dismiss it. Each time you use this ability, you take 2 points of eldritch corruption.
Back from the Void
Starting at 14th level, you can choose to use an action to bring yourself back to life if you are dead and your body is intact. You return to life with 1 hit point. Each time you use this feature, you take 10 points of eldritch corruption.
Dark Summoning
Beginning at 18th level, once per long rest, you can choose to summon a Babauto your service using an action. This creature gets its own initiative roll in combat and this ability counts as a concentration spell. The Babauremains with you until you choose to dismiss it or you lose concentration. If you lose concentration or use another ability that requires concentration, the Babauis immediately dismissed and you take 10d6 psychic damage as well as 2 points of eldritch corruption. You can choose to dismiss the creature with an action and take no damage. Each time you use this feature, take 5 points of eldritch corruption.
The effects of corruption points stack and how they are removed is at the discretion of the DM.
Since every class feature causes corruption and accumulating corruption leads to certain character death, you need to codify a way to remove corruption. Sure, DMs can come up with additional ways to remove corruption, but the player needs to know a surefire way to do it. The stakes are too high to just be up to the whims of any DM who might allow the subclass.
11-15: The corruption has shielded your mind from outside influence. You are now immune to fear and being charmed. However, your mind has begun to fracture. Whenever you attempt to use a class ability, make a wisdom save equal to your spell save DC. On a failed roll, you go temporarily mad for a turn and the action fails.
What does "temporarily go mad" mean? Can I use a bonus action? Can I use Action Surge to try again or do something else? If I'm hasted can I Dash with my haste action? You need to align temporary madness with concrete D&D terms like stunned or incapacitated to make it clear what the character can and cannot do.
I'm not sure where this falls balance-wise. If there is a safe, reliable way to maintain your corruption in the middle ranges then it's quite strong at high levels due to all the extra damage you get. If corruption is difficult or unreliable to remove, most players I know would end up playing it like a sorcerer without a subclass - or forseeing that and just not choosing it.
This subclass is incredibly OP, and doesn't make a lot of sense. The effects of Corruption are massively positive up until you hit 16 points of corruption, so the optimal way to play is to use the 1st level ability to get yourself 11 points of corruption immediately and then never use your subclass features. The benefits of corruption are SO good that you will still be more powerful than pretty much any other sorcerer anyway even without using any of your subclass features ever.
PS and because you can get all of those benefits right at level 1 this is incredibly dippable. A warlock would absolutely dip this for the extra damage to each of the EB rays, a paladin would dip it for extra damage to each of their attacks (same for a monk or fighter!), basically everyone would be trying to find a way to get 13 CHA so that they could dip into this.
I agree... this is far too easy to exploit, and the features that give you corruption aren't even particularly useful. There's absolutely no reason to not just get to 11 corruption, then just stop using your class features that cause corruption. Ironically, this would be a more balanced subclass if it was easier to lose corruption than it was to gain it.
This subclass is incredibly OP, and doesn't make a lot of sense. The effects of Corruption are massively positive up until you hit 16 points of corruption, so the optimal way to play is to use the 1st level ability to get yourself 11 points of corruption immediately and then never use your subclass features.
The one at 11 is actually pretty bad, assuming its referring to the short-term madness in the basic rules. Every time you use extra attack, spellcasting, sneak attack, or any other class feature, you have a 10% chance to fall unconscious for 1d10 minutes, which instantly puts you out of combat. All of the other options are also pretty bad.
For my suggestion, I would make it easier to both gain and lose corruption, so that it fluctuates more often.
6-10: The corruption seeping through you has empowered your attacks and spells. All of your spell damage and attacks now do an additional 1d8 necrotic damage. This amount increases by 1d8 at level 5, 2d8 at level 10, 3d8 at level 15 and 4d8 at level 18. However, your body has also begun to wither. You gain disadvantage on all strength and athletics rolls.
This feature is utterly broken. Consider at level 10, a 4th level magic missile deals on average : (9+2.5+1)*6 = 76 unavoidable damage.
So, me and some friends have started making some subclasses trying to capture the spirit of Robert Howard/Bronze Age/Prehistory. I wanted to share one here for some feedback because its kind of wild. It'll have to be play tested to find out if its broken or completely weak. Here it is:
Those few who were brave or mad enough to delve into the lost knowledge and lore of the inhuman civilizations of eons past almost always find themselves forever changed. Perhaps they came upon these secrets by chance, or perhaps they sought them out. Regardless, one thing is certain: they command dark and terrible magics best left buried and are capable of commanding otherworldly beasts and abominations. These sorcerers are often cruel, hubristic and villainous. This is not to say all are, however. Using many of these powers comes at great cost to the one invoking them for corruption begins to taint their mind, body and soul.
Eldritch Corruption
The effects of corruption points stack and how they are removed is at the discretion of the DM. The effects are as follows:
1-5: Your physical appearance begins to change. You gain advantage on intimidation checks.
6-10: The corruption seeping through you has empowered your attacks and spells. All of your spell damage and attacks now do an additional 1d8 necrotic damage. This amount increases by 1d8 at level 5, 2d8 at level 10, 3d8 at level 15 and 4d8 at level 18. However, your body has also begun to wither. You gain disadvantage on all strength and athletics rolls.
11-15: The corruption has shielded your mind from outside influence. You are now immune to fear and being charmed. However, your mind has begun to fracture. Whenever you attempt to use a class ability, make a wisdom save equal to your spell save DC. On a failed roll, you go temporarily mad for a turn and the action fails.
16-19: You are becoming something more. Any creature that makes an attack roll against you does so at disadvantage. However, your soul has become corrupted to the core and has begun to unravel. Each time you make an attack roll, you take 1d4 psychic damage. All successful attacks against you also deal an additional 1d4 psychic damage.
20: Roll a d4. On each of the following results, something occurs
1-This character dies and cannot be revived with Back from the Void.
2-This character explodes and is killed in a corrupted magical blast. All creatures within 30 feet of you must make a dexterity save equal to your spell save DC. On a failed save, they take 8d6 force damage and on a successful save, they take half damage.
3-This character is set upon by otherworldly beings and pulled into another plane of existence.
4-This character is permanently transformed into a Gibbering Mouther. For its stats, see the Monster Manual. Control of the player character is turned over to the DM.
Voices of the Dead
Starting at 1st level, once per long rest, you can choose to commune with the spirits of the deceased to gain otherworldly information. The spirits can answer any question you might have, at the discretion of the DM. They are only able to answer one question per use. Each time you use this ability, you take 1 point of eldritch corruption.
Dark Calling
Starting at 6th level, once per long rest, you can call and bind a Flying Horror to your service. This monster can be mounted and flown on and gets its own initiative role in combat. This counts as a concentration spell and any time you lose concentration or use another ability that requires concentration, the Flying Horror is immediately dismissed and you take 6d6 psychic damage and 1 point of eldritch corruption. You can choose to dismiss this creature using an action and take no damage. The Flying Horror remains bound to you until you either lose concentration or choose to dismiss it. Each time you use this ability, you take 2 points of eldritch corruption.
Back from the Void
Starting at 14th level, you can choose to use an action to bring yourself back to life if you are dead and your body is intact. You return to life with 1 hit point. Each time you use this feature, you take 10 points of eldritch corruption.
Dark Summoning
Beginning at 18th level, once per long rest, you can choose to summon a Babau to your service using an action. This creature gets its own initiative roll in combat and this ability counts as a concentration spell. The Babau remains with you until you choose to dismiss it or you lose concentration. If you lose concentration or use another ability that requires concentration, the Babau is immediately dismissed and you take 10d6 psychic damage as well as 2 points of eldritch corruption. You can choose to dismiss the creature with an action and take no damage. Each time you use this feature, take 5 points of eldritch corruption.
Since every class feature causes corruption and accumulating corruption leads to certain character death, you need to codify a way to remove corruption. Sure, DMs can come up with additional ways to remove corruption, but the player needs to know a surefire way to do it. The stakes are too high to just be up to the whims of any DM who might allow the subclass.
What does "temporarily go mad" mean? Can I use a bonus action? Can I use Action Surge to try again or do something else? If I'm hasted can I Dash with my haste action? You need to align temporary madness with concrete D&D terms like stunned or incapacitated to make it clear what the character can and cannot do.
I'm not sure where this falls balance-wise. If there is a safe, reliable way to maintain your corruption in the middle ranges then it's quite strong at high levels due to all the extra damage you get. If corruption is difficult or unreliable to remove, most players I know would end up playing it like a sorcerer without a subclass - or forseeing that and just not choosing it.
My homebrew subclasses (full list here)
(Artificer) Swordmage | Glasswright | (Barbarian) Path of the Savage Embrace
(Bard) College of Dance | (Fighter) Warlord | Cannoneer
(Monk) Way of the Elements | (Ranger) Blade Dancer
(Rogue) DaggerMaster | Inquisitor | (Sorcerer) Riftwalker | Spellfist
(Warlock) The Swarm
Great points and much appreciated. I'll make these edits.
This subclass is incredibly OP, and doesn't make a lot of sense. The effects of Corruption are massively positive up until you hit 16 points of corruption, so the optimal way to play is to use the 1st level ability to get yourself 11 points of corruption immediately and then never use your subclass features. The benefits of corruption are SO good that you will still be more powerful than pretty much any other sorcerer anyway even without using any of your subclass features ever.
PS and because you can get all of those benefits right at level 1 this is incredibly dippable. A warlock would absolutely dip this for the extra damage to each of the EB rays, a paladin would dip it for extra damage to each of their attacks (same for a monk or fighter!), basically everyone would be trying to find a way to get 13 CHA so that they could dip into this.
I agree... this is far too easy to exploit, and the features that give you corruption aren't even particularly useful. There's absolutely no reason to not just get to 11 corruption, then just stop using your class features that cause corruption. Ironically, this would be a more balanced subclass if it was easier to lose corruption than it was to gain it.
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The one at 11 is actually pretty bad, assuming its referring to the short-term madness in the basic rules. Every time you use extra attack, spellcasting, sneak attack, or any other class feature, you have a 10% chance to fall unconscious for 1d10 minutes, which instantly puts you out of combat. All of the other options are also pretty bad.
For my suggestion, I would make it easier to both gain and lose corruption, so that it fluctuates more often.
I write homebrew and don't publish it. (evil, I know)
https://www.dndbeyond.com/subclasses/1826580-elder-disciple
Got version 2 up and running. Should be a step in the right direction.
You haven't fixed the major problem:
This feature is utterly broken. Consider at level 10, a 4th level magic missile deals on average : (9+2.5+1)*6 = 76 unavoidable damage.