I realize I can't fix any of the actual problems with my submission, but I noticed a few commenters making mistakes.
perma damage with no stated ware off time is no bueno
The glossary entry for long rest says, "Regain All HP. You regain all lost Hit Points and all spent Hit Point Dice. If your Hit Point maximum was reduced, it returns to normal."
Does not quite fit the theme. Is too weak for its CR and the reaction is awful in play for martial characters, who can never use Extra Attack against this thing.
The entry for attack says, "Moving between Attacks. If you move on your turn and have a feature, such as Extra Attack, that gives you more than one attack as part of the Attack action, you can use some or all of that movement to move between those attacks."
Most of the wording in it is vague so the reaction looks like "it no longer occupies space" instead of "it no longer occupies the 5x5 cube where the attack would land" and if that is what you did mean then martials would not need to move at all. Also it feels like plauge from slice and dice which is also weak for its position in the game even when methods of healing mid combat are more appealing than in DnD.
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I want to address just one comment I have seen thus far that I think misunderstands my submission for the PC category
It's really cool, but you're probably going to have players during downtime saying "I take 16 Short rests and 1 long rest, so I get 34 vials of acid."
I definitely get the reservation, but Amateur Alchemist resets only on Long Rests, not Short Rests. It is still possible to get 34 vials of acid from this feature, but it would take several days of downtime, especially at lower levels when you are making only 2 per LR.
Is there a potential economy exploit in this? I suppose, but that also depends on how easily and frequently your DM is going to let you offload you potions and tinctures. Could make for fun roleplay. The same goes for if the plan is to use downtime to, say, arm 34 commoners with a vial of acid to throw at your behest. What the DM allows is going to have a big impact on how crazy these shenanigans get.
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I do think it might be best to perhaps put a limit on it -- like, their effectiveness ends after a certain amount of time, or even after you finish a long rest.
I had to zoom out to 25% to get the full statblock on my screen (no thanks to D&D beyond's stupid formatting issues). As a warning, I'm not going to be able to assess the balance of this creature in general.
With the scale of damage this creature is going to be taking at this level, it's usually going to be failing those Eyestalk saves. Not sure if that's intentional or not.
Compound-Eyed Menace is wild.
Good use of an indirect weakness in Sticky Mess.
Does the Power Word Pain effect only occur if the target of Sting has less than 100 hit points? or does it take place anyway?
The Eye Rays: You could have called out the Wasp variety of Swarm of Insects for Swarming Ray. For the Ray of To Bee or Not To Bee, it might be best to just say a d6 or something. I also feel like it should be a save either way, not just "become an ally of the boss or roll a save vs damage". Usually, escape checks use either Athletics or Acrobatics, but for the Honey Assault, you only have Athletics. I get your train of thought, but I think there's an argument there for Acrobatics as well. For Ray of Beefuddlement, I might specify that it can only *take actions or reactions* that deal piercing damage, rather than just using weapons -- plenty of other actions exist that could be used to circumvent this. "Empty jar of honey" in Jarring Ray is an oxymoron. It can't be empty and also be of honey, unless you mean that it is composed of honey, in which case you might want to give it vulnerability to fire similar to how you've been attributing melting to it elsewhere. Ray of Bee-auty is flat-out worse than the Sting Ray in every way.
Are the eye rays of Eye for Eye intended to not be random? because they aren't, as written currently.
I see your Pokemon references.
Defend Order seems strong. Like, really strong.
Big Bee's Hand not requiring concentration poses a problem: the beeholder can just keep summoning hands. They may not all be able to act, but they certainly take up space.
Overall this seems like a miserable experience to fight. Great job, though.
1) it's not needed to see the entire statblock at once, you can scroll if it does not fit on your screen?
2) it's intended to fail the save often so that players have a realistic chance to cripple it. Remember it has a reaction to rampage specifically when it loses an eeyestalk.
3) the Power Word Pain effect always works regardless of the target's HP - but with just one attack each round it's not going to happen a lot.
4) the 2024 swarm of insects does not have a wasp variety. For the 2014 version, you'd have been right, but I made that monster with 2024 rules in mind.
5) Why a d6 specifically? But you're right, the "to bee" version of that ray should have a saving throw.
6) that's only true for grapple escape checks/when you are restrained by the creature itself. Escaping from other restraining effects like manacles or an Entangle, Web or Black Tentacles spell only works with Strength (Athletics). And it does not make sense to me thematically to use Dex to wiggle oneself free from sticky honey.
7) yes, changing it to "any action that deals piercing damage" is possible, but having to actively use a piercing weapon/"stinger" felt better thematically.
8) Usually you can discern a jar is a jar of honey even if it has been emptied - you can see the stickers on it, maybe a honeycomb pattern on the glass. So no oxymoron or other issue there.
9) that is intentional. Not all eye rays should be equally good.
10) they are intended to be random.
11) big bee's hand can be summoned multiple times, yes - but that's hardly an issue considering you can still only command one at a time.
I had to zoom out to 25% to get the full statblock on my screen (no thanks to D&D beyond's stupid formatting issues). As a warning, I'm not going to be able to assess the balance of this creature in general.
With the scale of damage this creature is going to be taking at this level, it's usually going to be failing those Eyestalk saves. Not sure if that's intentional or not.
Compound-Eyed Menace is wild.
Good use of an indirect weakness in Sticky Mess.
Does the Power Word Pain effect only occur if the target of Sting has less than 100 hit points? or does it take place anyway?
The Eye Rays: You could have called out the Wasp variety of Swarm of Insects for Swarming Ray. For the Ray of To Bee or Not To Bee, it might be best to just say a d6 or something. I also feel like it should be a save either way, not just "become an ally of the boss or roll a save vs damage". Usually, escape checks use either Athletics or Acrobatics, but for the Honey Assault, you only have Athletics. I get your train of thought, but I think there's an argument there for Acrobatics as well. For Ray of Beefuddlement, I might specify that it can only *take actions or reactions* that deal piercing damage, rather than just using weapons -- plenty of other actions exist that could be used to circumvent this. "Empty jar of honey" in Jarring Ray is an oxymoron. It can't be empty and also be of honey, unless you mean that it is composed of honey, in which case you might want to give it vulnerability to fire similar to how you've been attributing melting to it elsewhere. Ray of Bee-auty is flat-out worse than the Sting Ray in every way.
Are the eye rays of Eye for Eye intended to not be random? because they aren't, as written currently.
I see your Pokemon references.
Defend Order seems strong. Like, really strong.
Big Bee's Hand not requiring concentration poses a problem: the beeholder can just keep summoning hands. They may not all be able to act, but they certainly take up space.
Overall this seems like a miserable experience to fight. Great job, though.
1) it's not needed to see the entire statblock at once, you can scroll if it does not fit on your screen?
2) it's intended to fail the save often so that players have a realistic chance to cripple it. Remember it has a reaction to rampage specifically when it loses an eeyestalk.
3) the Power Word Pain effect always works regardless of the target's HP - but with just one attack each round it's not going to happen a lot.
4) the 2024 swarm of insects does not have a wasp variety. For the 2014 version, you'd have been right, but I made that monster with 2024 rules in mind.
5) Why a d6 specifically? But you're right, the "to bee" version of that ray should have a saving throw.
6) that's only true for grapple escape checks/when you are restrained by the creature itself. Escaping from other restraining effects like manacles or an Entangle, Web or Black Tentacles spell only works with Strength (Athletics). And it does not make sense to me thematically to use Dex to wiggle oneself free from sticky honey.
7) yes, changing it to "any action that deals piercing damage" is possible, but having to actively use a piercing weapon/"stinger" felt better thematically.
8) Usually you can discern a jar is a jar of honey even if it has been emptied - you can see the stickers on it, maybe a honeycomb pattern on the glass. So no oxymoron or other issue there.
9) that is intentional. Not all eye rays should be equally good.
10) they are intended to be random.
11) big bee's hand can be summoned multiple times, yes - but that's hardly an issue considering you can still only command one at a time.
4. If your intent was to use only the 2024 rules, that was unclear, as you seem to be using a mix of 2024 and 2014 formatting with 2014 dominant.
5. I did say "or something". Any die will do, it would just be better to pick one.
7. The reason I make that criticism is that there are non-spell actions that don't use weapons, like a cleric's Channel Divinity or Fiend warlock's Hurtle Through Hell, meaning the afflicted creature can do things that this eye ray doesn't seem like it's intended to allow.
8. You're probably just drawing from your vision for this ability instead of a usual reading of it. If you want it to be a jar that looks like it's used for honey, say that instead of "empty jar of honey". You could even go "empty honey jar".
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@The_Summoning_Dark you need to make the numerical voting questions required.
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Voted. Best of luck to everyone.
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Thanks for that. Should be fixed now.
Please make it so we can see previous responses (and not edit our response).
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Can we please see other people's feedbacks
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I think that should be fixed now. If it isn't let me know.
I realize I can't fix any of the actual problems with my submission, but I noticed a few commenters making mistakes.
The glossary entry for long rest says, "Regain All HP. You regain all lost Hit Points and all spent Hit Point Dice. If your Hit Point maximum was reduced, it returns to normal."
The entry for attack says, "Moving between Attacks. If you move on your turn and have a feature, such as Extra Attack, that gives you more than one attack as part of the Attack action, you can use some or all of that movement to move between those attacks."
Most of the wording in it is vague so the reaction looks like "it no longer occupies space" instead of "it no longer occupies the 5x5 cube where the attack would land" and if that is what you did mean then martials would not need to move at all. Also it feels like plauge from slice and dice which is also weak for its position in the game even when methods of healing mid combat are more appealing than in DnD.
Just a goober doing my own work when I want to. I like the idea of not just high fantasy dnd.
You can reach me over discord as well, Handle is royalsupsi as well
I am open to work on joint homebrew projects, just DM me.
All my projects so far are in the extended signiture
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I want to address just one comment I have seen thus far that I think misunderstands my submission for the PC category
I definitely get the reservation, but Amateur Alchemist resets only on Long Rests, not Short Rests. It is still possible to get 34 vials of acid from this feature, but it would take several days of downtime, especially at lower levels when you are making only 2 per LR.
Is there a potential economy exploit in this? I suppose, but that also depends on how easily and frequently your DM is going to let you offload you potions and tinctures. Could make for fun roleplay. The same goes for if the plan is to use downtime to, say, arm 34 commoners with a vial of acid to throw at your behest. What the DM allows is going to have a big impact on how crazy these shenanigans get.
Three-time Judge of the Competition of the Finest Brews! Come join us in making fun, unique homebrew and voting for your favorite entries!
I do think it might be best to perhaps put a limit on it -- like, their effectiveness ends after a certain amount of time, or even after you finish a long rest.
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Oof. This time 'round was rough. Not a chance of me winning, I think. I'm sort of disappointed in myself; I usually make much higher quality homebrew.
Good luck to y'all, though!
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1) it's not needed to see the entire statblock at once, you can scroll if it does not fit on your screen?
2) it's intended to fail the save often so that players have a realistic chance to cripple it. Remember it has a reaction to rampage specifically when it loses an eeyestalk.
3) the Power Word Pain effect always works regardless of the target's HP - but with just one attack each round it's not going to happen a lot.
4) the 2024 swarm of insects does not have a wasp variety. For the 2014 version, you'd have been right, but I made that monster with 2024 rules in mind.
5) Why a d6 specifically? But you're right, the "to bee" version of that ray should have a saving throw.
6) that's only true for grapple escape checks/when you are restrained by the creature itself. Escaping from other restraining effects like manacles or an Entangle, Web or Black Tentacles spell only works with Strength (Athletics). And it does not make sense to me thematically to use Dex to wiggle oneself free from sticky honey.
7) yes, changing it to "any action that deals piercing damage" is possible, but having to actively use a piercing weapon/"stinger" felt better thematically.
8) Usually you can discern a jar is a jar of honey even if it has been emptied - you can see the stickers on it, maybe a honeycomb pattern on the glass. So no oxymoron or other issue there.
9) that is intentional. Not all eye rays should be equally good.
10) they are intended to be random.
11) big bee's hand can be summoned multiple times, yes - but that's hardly an issue considering you can still only command one at a time.
4. If your intent was to use only the 2024 rules, that was unclear, as you seem to be using a mix of 2024 and 2014 formatting with 2014 dominant.
5. I did say "or something". Any die will do, it would just be better to pick one.
7. The reason I make that criticism is that there are non-spell actions that don't use weapons, like a cleric's Channel Divinity or Fiend warlock's Hurtle Through Hell, meaning the afflicted creature can do things that this eye ray doesn't seem like it's intended to allow.
8. You're probably just drawing from your vision for this ability instead of a usual reading of it. If you want it to be a jar that looks like it's used for honey, say that instead of "empty jar of honey". You could even go "empty honey jar".
10. Amend it.
Come participate in the Competition of the Finest Brews, Edition XXVIII?
My homebrew stuff:
Spells, Monsters, Magic Items, Feats, Subclasses.
I am an Archfey, but nobody seems to notice.
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NOOO I FORGOT TO VOTE!
I'm just your everyday dungeon master. Ignore that jar full of souls. And those bones in the corner are just props, don't worry. I'm definitely NOT a lich. Definitely.
Yes, I like beholders. Yes, I curated an exquisite personality for commoner #2864. Yes, my catchphrase is "are you sure?"
.-. .- -. -.. --- -- / -- --- .-. ... . / -.-. --- -.. . .-.-.-