Could y'all please help me with this homebrew race I'm working on I will be making some sub races after I balance the base race and fix any syntax errors
Custom Race: RIP JAWS
APEX HUNTERS: Rip jaws are formidable humanoid sharks with diverse body types and tough sandpaper like skin ranging from deep ocean blues to sandy browns. There broad heads resemble sharks with rows of sharp teeth and predatory eye's complimented by a prominent dorsal fin and sharper smaller fins on there shoulders and forearms there hands are adorned with powerful claw tipped and webbed fingers. They are adept to both land and water making them feared beasts over a variety of different locations.
HISTORY OF RIP JAWS: The history of Rip Jaws is as deep as the mysterious oceans from which they hail. Legends among their kind speak of ancient alliances forged with primordial forces of the ocean depths blessing them With physical prowess and the ability to traverse on land making them The apex predator they are today.
SOCIAL STRUCTURE: The Rip Jaws social structure revolves around a tightly knit community bonded by a deep respect for tradition. Within there tribes leadership is determined by a combination of strength and lineage with elders holdings a significant influence, helping guide new royalty with important decisions. Each tribe typically inhabits a specific territory along coastlines or within underwater caves with communal gathering spaces serving as centers for social interaction. Cooperation and mutual support among the tribe is highly valued but competition is not unheard of outside of the tribe with disputes over territory and resources being common between rivaled factions.
RIP JAWS NAMES: Rip Jaws names often consist of an adjective or verb followed by a noun with female names having more gentle vibes to the adjectives and verbs (examples: Caring, Delicate, Soft,) and male names often have rougher sounding verbs and adjectives (examples: Crushing, Sharp, Huge) the nouns though not limited to are often body parts (examples: Claws, Tooth, Fin) this unique naming system allows for limitless combinations and infinite creativity
RIP JAW TRAITS
——————————————————
Being part of this prideful race offers you many benefits exclusive to Rip Jaws.
Ability Score Increase: Your Constitution score increases by 2.
Age: Rip Jaws Mature at the same rate as humans reaching maturity it there late teens and living up to 100 years but on average die around 75
Size: Rip Jaws have diverse body types standing between 5 feet to over 7 feet tall and weighing around 100-300 pounds
Speed: your base walking speed is 30 feet.you also have a base swimming speed of 30 feet.
Amphibious:You have the ability to breathe on both on land and underwater.
Darkvision: Due to your kind's extensive time in underwater caves you have evolved the ability to see in the dark, You can see in dim light within 60 feet of you as if it were bright light, and in darkness as if it dim light. You can't discern color in darkness only shades of grey.
Rip And Tear: When you make an unarmed attack using your teeth or claws you deal 1D6 slashing damage instead of the original 1D4 bludgeoning that you would commonly deal with your unarmed strike. When you take this action roll a D20 on a natural 20 the target of the attack is inflicted with the bleed condition. (Detailed at the end of the race)
Threatening Appearance: Whenever you make an Intelligence (intimidation) check against any humanoid, you can add twice your proficiency bonus, instead of any proficiency bonus you normally apply.
The Bleed Condition: I was under the impression that there already existed a bleed condition in DND 5e but after searching it up to learn more about it I found that it did not exist so I decided to make one. It's really simple and hopefully not to powerful.
BLEED
•A creature under the bleed condition takes 1D4 at the end of each of there turns the condition ends on a successful DC 12 Constitution saving throw or after one full round of combat
It’s obvious that you are building this race using the old format for races with subraces. There’s nothing wrong with using the old format if you want to, but if you want my opinion you’re probably better off just using the new format as it’ll likely go further, both in the competition and in general. At least that’s my expectation.
Creating Your Character
At 1st level, you choose whether your character is a member of the human species or of a fantastical species. If you select a fantastical species, follow these additional rules during character creation.
Ability Score Increases
When determining your character’s ability scores, increase one score by 2 and increase a different score by 1, or increase three different scores by 1. Follow this rule regardless of the method you use to determine the scores, such as rolling or point buy. The “Quick Build” section for your character’s class offers suggestions on which scores to increase. You can follow those suggestions or ignore them, but you can’t raise any of your scores above 20.
Languages
Your character can speak, read, and write Common and one other language that you and your DM agree is appropriate for the character. The Player’s Handbook offers a list of languages to choose from. The DM is free to modify that list for a campaign.
Creature Type
Every creature in D&D, including each player character, has a special tag in the rules that identifies the type of creature they are. Most player characters are of the Humanoid type. A race tells you what your character’s creature type is.
Here’s a list of the game’s creature types in alphabetical order: Aberration, Beast, Celestial, Construct, Dragon, Elemental, Fey, Fiend, Giant, Humanoid, Monstrosity, Ooze, Plant, Undead. These types don’t have rules themselves, but some rules in the game affect creatures of certain types in different ways. For example, the cure wounds spell doesn’t work on a Construct or an Undead.
Life Span
The typical life span of a player character in the D&D multiverse is about a century, assuming the character doesn’t meet a violent end on an adventure. Members of some species, such as dwarves and elves, can live for centuries. If typical members of a species can live longer than a century, that fact is mentioned in the species’ description.
Height and Weight
Player characters, regardless of species, typically fall into the same ranges of height and weight that humans have in our world. If you’d like to determine your character’s height or weight randomly, consult the Random Height and Weight table in the Player’s Handbook, and choose the row in the table that best represents the build you imagine for your character.
Ripjaw Traits
As a ripjaw, you have the following species traits.
Creature Type
You are a Monstrosity.
Size
You are Medium.
Speed
Your walking speed is 30 feet, and you have a swimming speed equal to your walking speed.
Child of the Sea
You can breathe air and water, and you have resistance to cold damage.
Darkvision
You can see in dim light within 60 feet of you as if it were bright light and in darkness as if it were dim light. You discern colors in that darkness only as shades of gray.
Intimidating Appearance
You have proficiency in the Intimidation skill. Your proficiency bonus is doubled for any ability check you make using this skill.
Keen Smell
You have advantage on Wisdom (Perception) checks that rely on smell.
Serrated Teeth
You have sharp, serrated teeth that you can use to make unarmed strikes. When you hit with them, the strike deals 1d6 + your Strength modifier slashing damage, instead of the bludgeoning damage normal for an unarmed strike. When you roll a 20 on your attack roll with your serrated teeth, at the start of the target's next turn it loses 1d4 hit points due to blood loss.
“Subrace” Options
Description
“Subrace” A Feature. Description
“Subrace” B Feature. Description
“Subrace” C Feature. Description
“Subrace” D Feature. Description
That👆would pretty much be your Ripjaw species using the new format. I’ve taken the liberty of adding or editing certain things to make them more in line with how WotC words things. I’ve underlined anything I’ve added or altered, and also struck through the things I would remove. (One thing I altered but would also remove, so it is both underlined and struck through.) The new format does away with “subraces/subspecies.” Instead, they add a trait to the species that has Options attached to it, and those Options represent what the subrace/subspecies trait would have been.
It’s obvious that you are building this race using the old format for races with subraces. There’s nothing wrong with using the old format if you want to, but if you want my opinion you’re probably better off just using the new format as it’ll likely go further, both in the competition and in general. At least that’s my expectation.
Creating Your Character
At 1st level, you choose whether your character is a member of the human species or of a fantastical species. If you select a fantastical species, follow these additional rules during character creation.
Ability Score Increases
When determining your character’s ability scores, increase one score by 2 and increase a different score by 1, or increase three different scores by 1. Follow this rule regardless of the method you use to determine the scores, such as rolling or point buy. The “Quick Build” section for your character’s class offers suggestions on which scores to increase. You can follow those suggestions or ignore them, but you can’t raise any of your scores above 20.
Languages
Your character can speak, read, and write Common and one other language that you and your DM agree is appropriate for the character. The Player’s Handbook offers a list of languages to choose from. The DM is free to modify that list for a campaign.
Creature Type
Every creature in D&D, including each player character, has a special tag in the rules that identifies the type of creature they are. Most player characters are of the Humanoid type. A race tells you what your character’s creature type is.
Here’s a list of the game’s creature types in alphabetical order: Aberration, Beast, Celestial, Construct, Dragon, Elemental, Fey, Fiend, Giant, Humanoid, Monstrosity, Ooze, Plant, Undead. These types don’t have rules themselves, but some rules in the game affect creatures of certain types in different ways. For example, the cure wounds spell doesn’t work on a Construct or an Undead.
Life Span
The typical life span of a player character in the D&D multiverse is about a century, assuming the character doesn’t meet a violent end on an adventure. Members of some species, such as dwarves and elves, can live for centuries. If typical members of a species can live longer than a century, that fact is mentioned in the species’ description.
Height and Weight
Player characters, regardless of species, typically fall into the same ranges of height and weight that humans have in our world. If you’d like to determine your character’s height or weight randomly, consult the Random Height and Weight table in the Player’s Handbook, and choose the row in the table that best represents the build you imagine for your character.
Ripjaw Traits
As a ripjaw, you have the following species traits.
Creature Type
You are a Monstrosity.
Size
You are Medium.
Speed
Your walking speed is 30 feet, and you have a swimming speed equal to your walking speed.
Child of the Sea
You can breathe air and water, and you have resistance to cold damage.
Darkvision
You can see in dim light within 60 feet of you as if it were bright light and in darkness as if it were dim light. You discern colors in that darkness only as shades of gray.
Intimidating Appearance
You have proficiency in the Intimidation skill. Your proficiency bonus is doubled for any ability check you make using this skill.
Keen Smell
You have advantage on Wisdom (Perception) checks that rely on smell.
Serrated Teeth
You have sharp, serrated teeth that you can use to make unarmed strikes. When you hit with them, the strike deals 1d6 + your Strength modifier slashing damage, instead of the bludgeoning damage normal for an unarmed strike. When you roll a 20 on your attack roll with your serrated teeth, at the start of the target's next turn it loses 1d4 hit points due to blood loss.
“Subrace” Options
Description
“Subrace” A Feature. Description
“Subrace” B Feature. Description
“Subrace” C Feature. Description
“Subrace” D Feature. Description
That👆would pretty much be your Ripjaw species using the new format. I’ve taken the liberty of adding or editing certain things to make them more in line with how WotC words things. I’ve underlined anything I’ve added or altered, and also struck through the things I would remove. (One thing I altered but would also remove, so it is both underlined and struck through.) The new format does away with “subraces/subspecies.” Instead, they add a trait to the species that has Options attached to it, and those Options represent what the subrace/subspecies trait would have been.
Thank you so much, I didn't even know I was using an old format. It's 1:30am for me right now so I'll work on the subrace features tomorrow.
Could y'all please help me with this homebrew race I'm working on I will be making some sub races after I balance the base race and fix any syntax errors
Custom Race: RIP JAWS
APEX HUNTERS: Rip jaws are formidable humanoid sharks with diverse body types and tough sandpaper like skin ranging from deep ocean blues to sandy browns. There broad heads resemble sharks with rows of sharp teeth and predatory eye's complimented by a prominent dorsal fin and sharper smaller fins on there shoulders and forearms there hands are adorned with powerful claw tipped and webbed fingers. They are adept to both land and water making them feared beasts over a variety of different locations.
HISTORY OF RIP JAWS: The history of Rip Jaws is as deep as the mysterious oceans from which they hail. Legends among their kind speak of ancient alliances forged with primordial forces of the ocean depths blessing them With physical prowess and the ability to traverse on land making them The apex predator they are today.
SOCIAL STRUCTURE: The Rip Jaws social structure revolves around a tightly knit community bonded by a deep respect for tradition. Within there tribes leadership is determined by a combination of strength and lineage with elders holdings a significant influence, helping guide new royalty with important decisions. Each tribe typically inhabits a specific territory along coastlines or within underwater caves with communal gathering spaces serving as centers for social interaction. Cooperation and mutual support among the tribe is highly valued but competition is not unheard of outside of the tribe with disputes over territory and resources being common between rivaled factions.
RIP JAWS NAMES: Rip Jaws names often consist of an adjective or verb followed by a noun with female names having more gentle vibes to the adjectives and verbs (examples: Caring, Delicate, Soft,) and male names often have rougher sounding verbs and adjectives (examples: Crushing, Sharp, Huge) the nouns though not limited to are often body parts (examples: Claws, Tooth, Fin) this unique naming system allows for limitless combinations and infinite creativity
RIP JAW TRAITS
——————————————————
Being part of this prideful race offers you many benefits exclusive to Rip Jaws.
Ability Score Increase: Your Constitution score increases by 2.
Age: Rip Jaws Mature at the same rate as humans reaching maturity it there late teens and living up to 100 years but on average die around 75
Size: Rip Jaws have diverse body types standing between 5 feet to over 7 feet tall and weighing around 100-300 pounds
Speed: your base walking speed is 30 feet.you also have a base swimming speed of 30 feet.
Amphibious:You have the ability to breathe on both on land and underwater.
Darkvision: Due to your kind's extensive time in underwater caves you have evolved the ability to see in the dark, You can see in dim light within 60 feet of you as if it were bright light, and in darkness as if it dim light. You can't discern color in darkness only shades of grey.
Rip And Tear: When you make an unarmed attack using your teeth or claws you deal 1D6 slashing damage instead of the original 1D4 bludgeoning that you would commonly deal with your unarmed strike. When you take this action roll a D20 on a natural 20 the target of the attack is inflicted with the bleed condition. (Detailed at the end of the race)
Threatening Appearance: Whenever you make an Intelligence (intimidation) check against any humanoid, you can add twice your proficiency bonus, instead of any proficiency bonus you normally apply.
The Bleed Condition: I was under the impression that there already existed a bleed condition in DND 5e but after searching it up to learn more about it I found that it did not exist so I decided to make one. It's really simple and hopefully not to powerful.
BLEED
•A creature under the bleed condition takes 1D4 at the end of each of there turns the condition ends on a successful DC 12 Constitution saving throw or after one full round of combat
PM me TOMATO let the games begin
Thomas the train
Our Friend Bob
That is my oh so glorious nickname according to drummer
https://www.dndbeyond.com/forums/off-topic/adohands-kitchen/173323-barbarian-wars
Join our ranks
It’s obvious that you are building this race using the old format for races with subraces. There’s nothing wrong with using the old format if you want to, but if you want my opinion you’re probably better off just using the new format as it’ll likely go further, both in the competition and in general. At least that’s my expectation.
Creating Your Character
At 1st level, you choose whether your character is a member of the human species or of a fantastical species. If you select a fantastical species, follow these additional rules during character creation.
Ability Score Increases
When determining your character’s ability scores, increase one score by 2 and increase a different score by 1, or increase three different scores by 1. Follow this rule regardless of the method you use to determine the scores, such as rolling or point buy. The “Quick Build” section for your character’s class offers suggestions on which scores to increase. You can follow those suggestions or ignore them, but you can’t raise any of your scores above 20.
Languages
Your character can speak, read, and write Common and one other language that you and your DM agree is appropriate for the character. The Player’s Handbook offers a list of languages to choose from. The DM is free to modify that list for a campaign.
Creature Type
Every creature in D&D, including each player character, has a special tag in the rules that identifies the type of creature they are. Most player characters are of the Humanoid type. A race tells you what your character’s creature type is.
Here’s a list of the game’s creature types in alphabetical order: Aberration, Beast, Celestial, Construct, Dragon, Elemental, Fey, Fiend, Giant, Humanoid, Monstrosity, Ooze, Plant, Undead. These types don’t have rules themselves, but some rules in the game affect creatures of certain types in different ways. For example, the cure wounds spell doesn’t work on a Construct or an Undead.
Life Span
The typical life span of a player character in the D&D multiverse is about a century, assuming the character doesn’t meet a violent end on an adventure. Members of some species, such as dwarves and elves, can live for centuries. If typical members of a species can live longer than a century, that fact is mentioned in the species’ description.
Height and Weight
Player characters, regardless of species, typically fall into the same ranges of height and weight that humans have in our world. If you’d like to determine your character’s height or weight randomly, consult the Random Height and Weight table in the Player’s Handbook, and choose the row in the table that best represents the build you imagine for your character.
Ripjaw Traits
As a ripjaw, you have the following species traits.
Creature Type
You are a Monstrosity.
Size
You are Medium.
Speed
Your walking speed is 30 feet, and you have a swimming speed equal to your walking speed.
Child of the Sea
You can breathe air and water, and you have resistance to cold damage.
Darkvision
You can see in dim light within 60 feet of you as if it were bright light and in darkness as if it were dim light. You discern colors in that darkness only as shades of gray.
Intimidating Appearance
You have proficiency in the Intimidation skill.
Your proficiency bonus is doubled for any ability check you make using this skill.Keen Smell
You have advantage on Wisdom (Perception) checks that rely on smell.
Serrated Teeth
You have sharp, serrated teeth that you can use to make unarmed strikes. When you hit with them, the strike deals 1d6 + your Strength modifier slashing damage, instead of the bludgeoning damage normal for an unarmed strike.
When you roll a 20 on your attack roll with your serrated teeth, at the start of the target's next turn it loses 1d4 hit points due to blood loss.“Subrace” Options
Description
“Subrace” A Feature. Description
“Subrace” B Feature. Description
“Subrace” C Feature. Description
“Subrace” D Feature. Description
That👆would pretty much be your Ripjaw species using the new format. I’ve taken the liberty of adding or editing certain things to make them more in line with how WotC words things. I’ve underlined anything I’ve added or altered, and also struck through the things I would remove. (One thing I altered but would also remove, so it is both underlined and struck through.) The new format does away with “subraces/subspecies.” Instead, they add a trait to the species that has Options attached to it, and those Options represent what the subrace/subspecies trait would have been.
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Thank you so much, I didn't even know I was using an old format. It's 1:30am for me right now so I'll work on the subrace features tomorrow.
PM me TOMATO let the games begin
Thomas the train
Our Friend Bob
That is my oh so glorious nickname according to drummer
https://www.dndbeyond.com/forums/off-topic/adohands-kitchen/173323-barbarian-wars
Join our ranks