Dm roleplaying as the Sherrif who screwed the party over and is working for the Vampire Lord: You again?! Why- Me, the Duergar Death Cleric inspired by a certain Sith Lord: -casts Chill Touch, choking him off mid sentence- You have failed me for the last time, Sherrif.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Hadgar Greystone, Lv 10 Duergar Death Cleric. Call of Cantraxis campaign, Moonshae.
DM: Imperia Regnum Ancient Rome Theros Homebrew.
Gri'im the Red, LV 7 Orc Druid Rime of the Frost Maiden Campaign.
As the party encounters a statue of a certain mage, naked except for a cowboy hat riding a donkey... the paladin shouts, "I search the statue for knobs or protrusions!"
As the party encounters a statue of a certain mage, naked except for a cowboy hat riding a donkey... the paladin shouts, "I search the statue for knobs or protrusions!"
Halaster?
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Please check out my homebrew, I would appreciate feedback:
As the party encounters a statue of a certain mage, naked except for a cowboy hat riding a donkey... the paladin shouts, "I search the statue for knobs or protrusions!"
As the party encounters a statue of a certain mage, naked except for a cowboy hat riding a donkey... the paladin shouts, "I search the statue for knobs or protrusions!"
Halaster?
Yes
Running that adventure right now. Haven't gotten that far yet. How did the fight with Halaster go?
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Please check out my homebrew, I would appreciate feedback:
Our party is travelling with a paladin through the Chultan jungle. It gets dark, so we make camp.
The paladin goes into the jungle to take a piss; so our rogue takes the opportunity to inspect the paladin's belongings...including a burlap sack.
Well...it turns out the sack is full of severed heads.
Back in town, there had been news of some serial killer decapitating the townsfolk for the last two weeks, the beheaded bodies found on the outskirts of the town.
Our rogue drops the sack and goes to frantically wakes up the party:
Rogue: "Guys! GUYS!! The paladin is the killer!
The Party: (groggily) "What are you on about...?"
Rogue: "THE PALADIN IS THE SERIAL KILLER!"
The Party: "Calm down! What makes you say that?!"
(The Rogue gestures at the spilled sack)
Rogue: "Because he KEEPS THE SEVERED HEADS IN HIS SACK!"
Paladin: (standing behind the party) "That isn't going to be a problem, is it?"
Okay first campaign I dm was lost mines of phindelver, and my brothers, along with 3 DMPCs stormed the cragmaw castle, two of the NPCs split up with the others, one led the most of the enemies out of the building after failing his stealth, and the other stayed back to fend off a grick because the players didnt get any magical weapons.
Well it was down to my brothers and the final dmpc was at a section the final section before the last room, two hobgoblins stood guard on the other end. They've got excellent stealth rolls, and they decided to do a pincer maneuver.
My brother's fighter Alexander, and the other fighter suzanne took one door, while my other brother's rouge Milo took the other.
Suzanne: 3.... 2... 1
Players: FBI OPEN UP!!!
The two fighters bust down the door and the door, and took the one hobgoblin down, and the rouge slit the other one's throat.
A firearm goes off in the local tavern, fired by our Fighter, causing scared patrons to run screaming out of the building, and the local guardsman to swarm the area. Our party scatters...some out the back, others on the rooftops.
My warlock casts "Fly"...and pretends to float helplessly through the air.
Warlock: "Somebody help me! I CAN'T GET DOWN...!!"
Guards: "Wha...what are you doing!?" What's happening?"
Warlock: "I HAVE NO IDEA!" (Deception Succeeded)
Guards: "Uh...hang on, we'll throw you a rope."
Warlock: "HELP ME...!!"
...once on the ground, I feed them a sob-story about an evil wizard in the tavern, and BOOM...they let me go.
A member of a party notices that one of their members, a tiefling, is being trailed by a Rakshasa in Sigil.
Player 1 to player 2: "Hey, a fiend is following our rogue. I bet he wants to steal his soul!"
Player 2: "Our rogue has a soul?"
--later
Player 2 to player 3: "Hey, that fiend is back. I am sure he wants to steal our rogues soul!"
Player 3: "Our rogue has a soul?"
-- later
Player 3 to the rogue: "There is a fiend that has been following you all day. We think he wants to steal your soul!"
The rogue: "Wait, I have a soul?"
From the table where I am a player:
Bard: "I'm going to play a flute to try and lure some prosititutes."
Cleric: "Wha-IN THE RELIGIOUS SECTOR???"
Later, while investigating a massacre:
Bard: *rolls natural 1* "My god! These bodies, they have markings all over their faces!"
Cleric: "Alright, stand back and let the doctor do her work." *rolls 19* "Those are freckles."
From a Priest that believes that he himself is the one true god reading from his holy book;
"Chapter 1, Verse 1; Pun is the lowest form of Comedy, as such you disrespect those within earshot.
Chapter 1, Verse 2; Thou shalt not murder"
Kieran McMillan
"you see, we all take turns liking the roadkill, and it is now your turn."
-the chaotic neutral cleric to the goblin, who the party saved for 10 extra gold pieces.
Me: So, you are attack the town. and you see some villagers and the-
Player: "kill them"
Me: witch one?
Player: "all of them. kill them all"
Me: "And so, this tree summons a monster that you must fight it is mons-
player: "I start playing bagpipes"
Me: oooook?
Player After having released a fairy that sounds like Navi.
Player: "I have just released a being of pure evil and destruction. nooooooo."
The amount of times I've started a combat encounter, and the barbarian or monk just randomly starts playing bagpipes or fiddles is astounding.
Please check out my homebrew, I would appreciate feedback:
Spells, Monsters, Subclasses, Races, Arcknight Class, Occultist Class, World, Enigmatic Esoterica forms
"I want to turn my giant seahorse into a manaray and wakeboard!"
There was a magic zoom boat
"We are living in year 1479 DR so life insurance policy is not very developed yet."
(DM's answer to question about mercenaries payments)
My current projects, One click download PDFs:
- Clam Island campaign questbook: https://homebrewery.naturalcrit.com/share/By3s5Uqqf (Levels 1-4)
- Frostglade Tundra campaign questbook: https://homebrewery.naturalcrit.com/share/SyZ_4eEyKE (Levels 1-4)
- Goldfish Archipelago campaign questbook: https://homebrewery.naturalcrit.com/share/-3HajWXM (Sequel to Clam Island, Levels 5-8)
Dm roleplaying as the Sherrif who screwed the party over and is working for the Vampire Lord: You again?! Why-
Me, the Duergar Death Cleric inspired by a certain Sith Lord: -casts Chill Touch, choking him off mid sentence- You have failed me for the last time, Sherrif.
Hadgar Greystone, Lv 10 Duergar Death Cleric.
Call of Cantraxis campaign, Moonshae.
DM: Imperia Regnum
Ancient Rome Theros Homebrew.
Gri'im the Red, LV 7 Orc Druid
Rime of the Frost Maiden Campaign.
As the party encounters a statue of a certain mage, naked except for a cowboy hat riding a donkey... the paladin shouts, "I search the statue for knobs or protrusions!"
Halaster?
Please check out my homebrew, I would appreciate feedback:
Spells, Monsters, Subclasses, Races, Arcknight Class, Occultist Class, World, Enigmatic Esoterica forms
Yes
Running that adventure right now. Haven't gotten that far yet. How did the fight with Halaster go?
Please check out my homebrew, I would appreciate feedback:
Spells, Monsters, Subclasses, Races, Arcknight Class, Occultist Class, World, Enigmatic Esoterica forms
Our party is travelling with a paladin through the Chultan jungle. It gets dark, so we make camp.
The paladin goes into the jungle to take a piss; so our rogue takes the opportunity to inspect the paladin's belongings...including a burlap sack.
Well...it turns out the sack is full of severed heads.
Back in town, there had been news of some serial killer decapitating the townsfolk for the last two weeks, the beheaded bodies found on the outskirts of the town.
Our rogue drops the sack and goes to frantically wakes up the party:
Rogue: "Guys! GUYS!! The paladin is the killer!
The Party: (groggily) "What are you on about...?"
Rogue: "THE PALADIN IS THE SERIAL KILLER!"
The Party: "Calm down! What makes you say that?!"
(The Rogue gestures at the spilled sack)
Rogue: "Because he KEEPS THE SEVERED HEADS IN HIS SACK!"
Paladin: (standing behind the party) "That isn't going to be a problem, is it?"
(entire party starts screaming)
Bard kills enemy with their viol after casting "Dissonant Whispers".
Barbarian: (impressed) "Damn...that was more violent than I expected."
(Bard shrugs, twirling his viol's bow)
Bard: "You can't spell "violent" without "viol"."
Okay first campaign I dm was lost mines of phindelver, and my brothers, along with 3 DMPCs stormed the cragmaw castle, two of the NPCs split up with the others, one led the most of the enemies out of the building after failing his stealth, and the other stayed back to fend off a grick because the players didnt get any magical weapons.
Well it was down to my brothers and the final dmpc was at a section the final section before the last room, two hobgoblins stood guard on the other end. They've got excellent stealth rolls, and they decided to do a pincer maneuver.
My brother's fighter Alexander, and the other fighter suzanne took one door, while my other brother's rouge Milo took the other.
Suzanne: 3.... 2... 1
Players: FBI OPEN UP!!!
The two fighters bust down the door and the door, and took the one hobgoblin down, and the rouge slit the other one's throat.
A firearm goes off in the local tavern, fired by our Fighter, causing scared patrons to run screaming out of the building, and the local guardsman to swarm the area. Our party scatters...some out the back, others on the rooftops.
My warlock casts "Fly"...and pretends to float helplessly through the air.
Warlock: "Somebody help me! I CAN'T GET DOWN...!!"
Guards: "Wha...what are you doing!?" What's happening?"
Warlock: "I HAVE NO IDEA!" (Deception Succeeded)
Guards: "Uh...hang on, we'll throw you a rope."
Warlock: "HELP ME...!!"
...once on the ground, I feed them a sob-story about an evil wizard in the tavern, and BOOM...they let me go.
I keep telling people, don't f**k with the bard! XD