My husband and I have been interested in D&D and have been looking for a game to play for a long time. I watch a lot of sessions on twitch, though, by a lot of different people, and I've seen a little bit of CR, so I knew what to expect. The game listings on roll20 always fill up very quickly and we were never able to join a game that way, though, and our local game store does D&D but it's all teenagers and young kids.
Then I noticed that a local library was hosting what they called 'Dungeons and Dragons One-Shot', so I got really excited because we were guaranteed a spot with that. It was also an 18+ group, and since we're both 30, we were definitely appreciative of that. The description said "Join us for one-shot sessions of D&D 5th Edition. Bring your own level three character, or use one of our pre-built sheets!" and that was it. No further information, no contact info. I signed us both up, using our phone numbers, and called it good. Figured there be a bit of discussion before the play, to get a handle on what was going on, or maybe some contact from the DM to let us know more details, since I had no idea what to expect. There was no contact beforehand though. There were 7 seats available when registration began, and over the two weeks before the session, only 3 spots were filled; my husband and I, and one other person. I thought "great!, it will be a small group and be easier to get to know everyone". That was not the case.
We had level 3 characters ready to go, but we figured we'd just use one of the pre-made sheets we were given instead, because that might be easier for everyone involved, and streamline the process. Good thing we opted to use a premade sheet, because when we got there the characters were level 5, not 3. I chose a harengon samurai, and my husband chose a dragonborn paladin, and we had only a couple minutes to think up their names and backgrounds, and no time to talk to the DM, because three other people who knew each other were already there waiting on us and were ready to start.
Yeah, so, this was not a one-shot. It was a pick-up game. These people (who hadn't even registered) all knew each other, and were using characters who had been traveling together for a while, and this was a continuation of a previous sessions. The DM (a quiet and introverted guy who got very flustered when I asked if I could write on the printed out character sheet (he said yes, but I used a separate piece of paper instead because he was clearly annoyed by the question)) said it wasn't a continuation though. He said each session was like it's own one-shot, so it was fine. Okay, sure, that's why all the characters know each other, and why they're focused on collecting some demon-touched piece of something or other so they can rescue a friend that was sent to hell in a previous session. But yeah, okay, this is just a one-shot.
There was little to no RP during the session, and my husband and I could hardly get a word in edgewise to help the other players (ooc) decide anything. The only time we got to speak was when it was our characters turn to "decide how to use our skills to get across the tundra", with no other information given, and everyone would get silent and turn and stare at us and wait. The tundra that I, actually, would have preferred we avoid, but the 3 players who knew each other decided we would avoid the road, without our input, so I guess that's what we were doing.
We eventually encountered a group of bandits who we had to fight, and this is what took up the majority of the two hour session. Still no RP though, just dice rolls and the DM narrating everything, even our characters actions and kills. Which everyone else seemed fine with, so I kept my mouth shut, since they already had their pre-established group and it wasn't my business how they did things.
My harengon used his longbow to wound a few of the bandits, staying back with one of the mages to protect the woman we were escorting somewhere (i was very unclear one what exactly our mission was, and anytime I asked a question about what was going on I was treated as if they had to explain how the game worked to me, instead of just our current goals and surrounds, so I stopped asking questions). The other mage, the apparent werebear the other player was playing (which I'll get to in a sec), and my husband's dragonborn paladin all immediately left our patron's side and rushed forward to fight the bandits. My husband's paladin killed one pretty quickly, and the DM didn't seem pleased.
It wasn't until the other guy in our party transformed into a bear that we were told it was a full moon, and he was going to go berserk (if we had known beforehand it was a full moon, and that this would happen, the paladin wouldn't have gotten so close to him, but we weren't given any info on that). So the DM rolled the dice a few times, and decided that the bear attacked the paladin. He ended up nearly killing him, but the mage that was nearby managed to get over there and drag him to safety away from the rampaging werebear, before he was attacked again while knocked out. We finished off the bandits, and then the other mage knocked out the werebear so he couldn't attack us, and there was discussion of what to do now. The mage's consensus was that we should wrap chains around the knocked out party members and drag them behind us through the snow. But I spoke up and said "it's night, right? Why don't we just make camp and take a rest?" The DM and the whole party laughed at that, for some reason, but the DM said "yeah, I guess you could do that. Ok, fine, you take a short rest and renew your HP."
So the next morning all our party members were up and healed again, and we continued on our journey to... escort the woman (I think she was a goblin, or a hobgoblin, I'm not sure) to somewhere... for something. There was more "decide how your character will use their skills to get through the tundra" nonsense, with no description or further info than that. My harengon managed to avoid a battle with a yeti by using his perception to keep an eye out for danger. The paladin and the werebear used their size and strength to... plow through the snow? I don't even remember what the mages did.
There was some demon tree situation that caused everyone's magic to go wonky, except my harengon, the only one without magic. Despite the fact that we went though the tundra instead of along the road so that we could AVOID demons and demonic stuff. But anyway. The group wanted to collect something from the demon tree to rescue their friend, I didn't really follow. One of the mages got turned into a stick. The player with the werebear wanted my harengon to approach the tree and collect the item since he was the only one without magic, but I wasn't gonna do that, because I didn't even know the guy they were trying to save, or what the hell the situation even was.
So we moved on from there to our final destination. Which was apparently a peace council between the goblins/hobgoblins and a bugbear and... I don't know. Something. Again, wasn't clear. We had to, again, figure how to use our skills to help the peace council. I was barely clear on what was going on, though, and my husband, who is half deaf, was even less clear than I was. I mentioned multiple times that my harengon has proficiency in persuasion, but was ignored. Until I wasn't. The DM said "I don't know if he has that yet, it might not be until a higher level" and I said, "well it's written on the character sheet you gave me" and he ignored me to do his own research. And finally agreed with me. We managed to get the peace council to work, or something, I don't really know. And that was the end of the session.
The werebear player packed up and picked up his folder and was out to door. The mages milled about talking to each other for a moment, and I looked at the DM, waiting for him to finish what he was doing so I could maybe discuss the session, or ask some questions. He finally looked up at as and saw me watching and said, "Okay, goodnight" and went back to whatever he was doing. No, "glad to have you, hope to see you again", no nothing. So we left.
Needless to say, we most likely won't be going back. It was good experience with combat, I guess, but that was about it. We didn't really feel welcome, we felt like we were intruding, and I'm confused as the why the campaign is listed on the library events in the first place if they don't want new party members. Especially being listed as a one-shot. Like, you can reserve the rooms at the library for your own person meetings and stuff without having them listed as events. I don't understand why they don't just do that.
So, yeah, my first D&D experience was not great. I would have preferred more RP, more exploration, maybe just more description in general. The session was extremely combat focused. Which is fine, if that's what the party wants, but there was no information given about what to expect, so I was definitely not expecting that. IF we do go back, we're going to go at least half an hour early and talk to the DM some before the session and see what's up *since there's no way to contact him or talk to any of the other players between games). If he'll even talk to us, because he didn't seem like a very personable guy. If the talk doesn't go well, we won't stay for the session, or return again.
Still looking for games on Roll20 regularly, and still having no success. I hope to find us something better, but my hopes aren't high.
So, yeah! That was my first d&d experience. What was everyone else's first game like?
It happens. I stopped playing with strangers because there just wasn't much chemistry or consistency. I'd just try to get 2-3 of your friends together and volunteer to be DM. If you've been listening to shows for a while, you can run Lost Mines of Phendelver for a group of newbies, no problem. In my experience, playing with people you like is way more important than how experienced the DM is or how well you know the rules
@pillowcaseking57 If I had friends besides my husband I wouldn't have had this problem lmfao. I wasn't really looking for feedback, mostly just sharing my experience and asking about others' experiences. But thanks for the comment!
That's rough. There are better groups for you out there for sure, but it can be challenging to find them. Pillowcaseking's suggestion to try and run a group of your own is certainly viable, though getting your friends or relatives to play isn't all that easy.
I think most people's first experience came with some growing pains, unless they were fortunate enough to stumble upon a really good and welcoming group to help them dip their toes in the water. I started in groups that were still having to figure things out as we went along; it's not the worst thing in the world to muddle through the this-works-but-that-definitely-doesn't woes together, but it wasn't a picnic either. I suggest trying whatever you can find (there's a number of options to try in my sig) - even the stuff that doesn't stick will help you in the long run. Don't knock a session or two with adolescents just because they're younger than you: especially if the DM knows what they're doing (and possibly is using a published module with a properly defined story and goals) that can be really good too.
"I watch a lot of sessions on twitch, though, by a lot of different people, and I've seen a little bit of CR, so I knew what to expect" gave me a bit of a chuckle, if you don't mind my saying so. Even people I've played with for a good while can surprise me, and completely new groups are always a shot in the dark. I hope the next one comes closer to the mark though. Best of luck with it.
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At least where I live, if you advertise as a DM, the player slots get filled really quickly. I've checked my local FB group and every time a DM advertises, the group is filled within hours. So maybe you could find your local FB group and advertise as a DM looking for players - you'll get a group in no time. Being DM, you have the power to adjust the table according to what works for you. Being in such demand means you can afford to be picky. Don't be rude like that guy was, but if you have the steering wheel, you get to decide where the car goes. That might get you a better experience.
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Pickup games can be rough. I met some really weird people and had some sessions that were not great. But one of the people I met invited me to join a game with his friends, who turned out to be pretty cool. That was over 10 years ago, and we still play weekly.
Keep trying, and keep your eyes open for like-minded folks. They're out there.
That sounds really frustrating. Different groups have different goals (part of what makes session 0 so important).
My best advice at the moment is actually to just play with your husband. 2 player games are a bit different, and a bit hard, and can make for some wonky habits, but if you both have the same goals in play, you'll have a lot of fun.
My first time DMing was for a single friend because scheduling was impossible. We did Lost Mine of Phandelver, which is meant for four or five Lv1 Characters. He started as a Level 5 Paladin and generally had fun. Level up at the end of each mini-adventure to be able to keep up with the increase in difficulty and action economy.
If you'd rather, you can also run a Dual DM game. Same thing, but you both run level 3 characters and both DM. Most chapters in LMoP have more than one big bad and you trade off on who plays who. You can get a ton of RP in that way if you let your character take the back seat while you play a villain. It's more important to have fun with it than avoid meta-gaming.
As others have implied different people like different aspects of D&D. D&D involves the strategy of combat, a story deing developed, exploring the evironment, solving "puzzles" (from code solving to how to persuade the king to give you what you need to eliminate a threat he is not aware of) and of course role play. Different people like different aspects with some players wanting into to focus on the cmbat with no role-playing and just enough story to get to the combat.
The reason why posting on roll 20 (and the forums here) fill up fast is generally there are more players wanting to play than DM's that are willing to run games can cope with. I lot of players have reservations about paying a DM so if you are willing to pay a DM you are much more likely to get offered a place in such a game. If you go this route make sure the DM gives plenty of oportunity to roleplay makes sure that one or two players do not hog the limelight and in other ways ensure the game is going to be one that meets your desires.
The other side of the coin of more players than DMs is if you post a game as a DM on roll20 or the forums here you are likely to be inundated with applications ask all the applicants what they would like to get from the game and choose the players that have similar objectives to you. I would recommend you play a few games with your hsband first so you (or your husband) are not totally new to the game when you do that.
Yeah, one of the first things you learn in this hobby is that not every group of random people can just sit down and be a dnd group. There's so many conflicting tastes and ideas of what constitutes good play that unless you have a chance to have an in-depth discussion about what everyone's looking for out of the game, it's real easy to have a bad time. Especially since this game doesn't sound very new-player-friendly.
One thing I will note is, that if you're primarily experienced with dnd through streams like Critical Role, you may need to temper your expectations a little. They focus a lot more heavily on roleplay and in-depth backstory, all the players are professional voice actors and writers, and they have a lot of time professionally to devote towards developing their characters. You will find plenty of other players that want to run an RP heavy game, that won't be an issue since a ton of people love RP, but those people won't all have the time and resources of the Critical Role cast.
That said, next time you're looking for a group, I might emphasize that you're seeking a game that is new-player-friendly and that you prefer a roleplay focused game. Local comic shops are also good places to meet like-minded players. Also see if you're town/city has a [Town Name] Dungeons & Dragons Facebook group. I met my current group through Facebook and after one or two false starts we're going really well.
@CharlesThePlant When I said I knew what the expect from watching streams, I didn't mean I expected the sessions to be just like the streams, I just meant I knew what the expect out of a well-balanced session, and what was expected of me in general. This session was not well-balanced, it was heavily combat-focused. Also, as I said, I've only seen a little bit of CR, and I know better than to expect any other DM to live up to Matt Mercer levels of DMing lmao. I primarily watch smaller D&D streams, where there isn't a ton of theatrics or voice acting, and the chemistry between the players and characters tends to vary, and sometimes new players are integrated. I watch these streams to get used to the rules and the lingo, and familiarize myself with the world, etc. Most of the streams I watch are not very popular, and tend to have less than 10 viewers at any given time. My expectations are most definitely not in need of tempering, trust me, lmao. The ONLY thing I expected was a well-balanced game. Which I definitely did not get.
I wouldn't say I want something RP focused, I just want something with ANY kind of RP in it. A mix of combat, exploration, and RP would be perfect. Like any average campaign. Instead of only combat.
And I thought this game WAS new-player friendly. Considering it was a library-hosted event and said it was a one-shot. I definitely managed my expectations going in and was still extremely disappointed.
But I digress. The point of this post wasn't necessarily to ask for feedback or advice. I was just sharing my bad experience and asking others what their first experience was like.
Try the teenagers at your local store. I doubt it'll be worse than your experience so far. At the very least you can ask about their game, you don't have to commit to anything.
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@Jegpeg Yes, thank you, I had already figured all that out. Wasn't really the point of the post, though. I appreciate the advice, but I don't really need it. Was just sharing my experience and asking about others experiences.
@Erokow32 Yes it was very frustrating! We're actually planning a session right now for jut the two of us for next weekend. We're creating a group of characters right now, and coming up with our own enemies/encounters, etc, and plan to take turns DMing. So far it seems like it's gonna be a lot of fun. We're having fun planning it so far, anyway, haha.
So, what was your first D&D experience as a player like?
@pangurjan Yeah, no thanks. My husband and I are 30, we're not going to approach a group of teenagers unprompted, that's weird. I doubt we have very much in common with teenagers, anyway. I know when I was a teenager I would have been weirded out by an adult couple approaching me and my friends having fun out in public and asking us about what we were doing. Not gonna be that person lmao.
Like I said, though, not really looking for suggestions. I'm figuring things out on my own. Just curious about other people's first game experiences as a player, that's all.
This session was not well-balanced, it was heavily combat-focused.
...My expectations are most definitely not in need of tempering, trust me, lmao. The ONLY thing I expected was a well-balanced game. Which I definitely did not get.
I wouldn't say I want something RP focused, I just want something with ANY kind of RP in it. A mix of combat, exploration, and RP would be perfect. Like any average campaign. Instead of only combat.
This is where you went wrong, and why I think many first experiences are going to differ from yours.
Many of us didn't have any expectations when we first played D&D. We didn't know what we wanted out of the gaming experience, and we certainly didn't have a preconception about what a session was supposed to look like. We just sat down and played. Over time, we learned what we liked and didn't like and then found groups that offered that.
The session you played wasn't unbalanced. It was perfectly balanced...for that style of gaming. There are tons of people who want nothing to do with RP and are in it for the combat and the loot. It's not a better or worse playstyle, it's just different from yours. That's why so many of us really encourage a session zero, so disappointments precisely like yours are mitigated. That said, while it is definitely unfortunate that your first session didn't live up to what you imagined it'd be, I'm glad it hasn't soured your taste for D&D itself. I hope you can find a group that fits your playstyle soon, with a DM who is communicative and sensitive to your hopes.
My first D&D game was in college, and a friend was helping me create my character so his roommate could run a small session for the two of us. I rolled godlike stats in everything except Charisma, which annoyed my friend, apparently. He told me I had to play a rogue because of my stats, and said I couldn't play a neutral or chaotic character because of...something that sounded reasonable at the time. The session was 80% combat, 15% exploration, and 5% roleplay. I loved every second of it and wanted to continue. We never played again.
Years later, I picked up D&D anew and realized how gatekeep-y my friend had been. Had I known then what I know now about how character creation should go and what I like out of games (I'm a heavily RP-focused player), I would have hated my first experience. But because I had no expectations at all, I look back on it fondly.
I have to agree with Bagels. There different ways of playing, and they're all valid. I'm not big on "just combat" styles, but that's just as valid and correct as how I play which is a mix but leaning towards story telling, which is no more or less valid than any other style. I do wonder if the OP's preconceptions caused disappointment and therefore frustration when someone played differently.
Streamers have their styles, probably emphasising RP in order to keep the attention of viewers. Number crunching combat is just another way of doing it. Not my cup of tea, I'd get bored and anxious at the same time, but it's just another way. I'd be game for a session or two occasionally, but I do like RP, problem solving and storytelling too in my adventures.
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My husband and I have been interested in D&D and have been looking for a game to play for a long time. I watch a lot of sessions on twitch, though, by a lot of different people, and I've seen a little bit of CR, so I knew what to expect. The game listings on roll20 always fill up very quickly and we were never able to join a game that way, though, and our local game store does D&D but it's all teenagers and young kids.
Then I noticed that a local library was hosting what they called 'Dungeons and Dragons One-Shot', so I got really excited because we were guaranteed a spot with that. It was also an 18+ group, and since we're both 30, we were definitely appreciative of that. The description said "Join us for one-shot sessions of D&D 5th Edition. Bring your own level three character, or use one of our pre-built sheets!" and that was it. No further information, no contact info. I signed us both up, using our phone numbers, and called it good. Figured there be a bit of discussion before the play, to get a handle on what was going on, or maybe some contact from the DM to let us know more details, since I had no idea what to expect. There was no contact beforehand though. There were 7 seats available when registration began, and over the two weeks before the session, only 3 spots were filled; my husband and I, and one other person. I thought "great!, it will be a small group and be easier to get to know everyone". That was not the case.
We had level 3 characters ready to go, but we figured we'd just use one of the pre-made sheets we were given instead, because that might be easier for everyone involved, and streamline the process. Good thing we opted to use a premade sheet, because when we got there the characters were level 5, not 3. I chose a harengon samurai, and my husband chose a dragonborn paladin, and we had only a couple minutes to think up their names and backgrounds, and no time to talk to the DM, because three other people who knew each other were already there waiting on us and were ready to start.
Yeah, so, this was not a one-shot. It was a pick-up game. These people (who hadn't even registered) all knew each other, and were using characters who had been traveling together for a while, and this was a continuation of a previous sessions. The DM (a quiet and introverted guy who got very flustered when I asked if I could write on the printed out character sheet (he said yes, but I used a separate piece of paper instead because he was clearly annoyed by the question)) said it wasn't a continuation though. He said each session was like it's own one-shot, so it was fine. Okay, sure, that's why all the characters know each other, and why they're focused on collecting some demon-touched piece of something or other so they can rescue a friend that was sent to hell in a previous session. But yeah, okay, this is just a one-shot.
There was little to no RP during the session, and my husband and I could hardly get a word in edgewise to help the other players (ooc) decide anything. The only time we got to speak was when it was our characters turn to "decide how to use our skills to get across the tundra", with no other information given, and everyone would get silent and turn and stare at us and wait. The tundra that I, actually, would have preferred we avoid, but the 3 players who knew each other decided we would avoid the road, without our input, so I guess that's what we were doing.
We eventually encountered a group of bandits who we had to fight, and this is what took up the majority of the two hour session. Still no RP though, just dice rolls and the DM narrating everything, even our characters actions and kills. Which everyone else seemed fine with, so I kept my mouth shut, since they already had their pre-established group and it wasn't my business how they did things.
My harengon used his longbow to wound a few of the bandits, staying back with one of the mages to protect the woman we were escorting somewhere (i was very unclear one what exactly our mission was, and anytime I asked a question about what was going on I was treated as if they had to explain how the game worked to me, instead of just our current goals and surrounds, so I stopped asking questions). The other mage, the apparent werebear the other player was playing (which I'll get to in a sec), and my husband's dragonborn paladin all immediately left our patron's side and rushed forward to fight the bandits. My husband's paladin killed one pretty quickly, and the DM didn't seem pleased.
It wasn't until the other guy in our party transformed into a bear that we were told it was a full moon, and he was going to go berserk (if we had known beforehand it was a full moon, and that this would happen, the paladin wouldn't have gotten so close to him, but we weren't given any info on that). So the DM rolled the dice a few times, and decided that the bear attacked the paladin. He ended up nearly killing him, but the mage that was nearby managed to get over there and drag him to safety away from the rampaging werebear, before he was attacked again while knocked out. We finished off the bandits, and then the other mage knocked out the werebear so he couldn't attack us, and there was discussion of what to do now. The mage's consensus was that we should wrap chains around the knocked out party members and drag them behind us through the snow. But I spoke up and said "it's night, right? Why don't we just make camp and take a rest?" The DM and the whole party laughed at that, for some reason, but the DM said "yeah, I guess you could do that. Ok, fine, you take a short rest and renew your HP."
So the next morning all our party members were up and healed again, and we continued on our journey to... escort the woman (I think she was a goblin, or a hobgoblin, I'm not sure) to somewhere... for something. There was more "decide how your character will use their skills to get through the tundra" nonsense, with no description or further info than that. My harengon managed to avoid a battle with a yeti by using his perception to keep an eye out for danger. The paladin and the werebear used their size and strength to... plow through the snow? I don't even remember what the mages did.
There was some demon tree situation that caused everyone's magic to go wonky, except my harengon, the only one without magic. Despite the fact that we went though the tundra instead of along the road so that we could AVOID demons and demonic stuff. But anyway. The group wanted to collect something from the demon tree to rescue their friend, I didn't really follow. One of the mages got turned into a stick. The player with the werebear wanted my harengon to approach the tree and collect the item since he was the only one without magic, but I wasn't gonna do that, because I didn't even know the guy they were trying to save, or what the hell the situation even was.
So we moved on from there to our final destination. Which was apparently a peace council between the goblins/hobgoblins and a bugbear and... I don't know. Something. Again, wasn't clear. We had to, again, figure how to use our skills to help the peace council. I was barely clear on what was going on, though, and my husband, who is half deaf, was even less clear than I was. I mentioned multiple times that my harengon has proficiency in persuasion, but was ignored. Until I wasn't. The DM said "I don't know if he has that yet, it might not be until a higher level" and I said, "well it's written on the character sheet you gave me" and he ignored me to do his own research. And finally agreed with me. We managed to get the peace council to work, or something, I don't really know. And that was the end of the session.
The werebear player packed up and picked up his folder and was out to door. The mages milled about talking to each other for a moment, and I looked at the DM, waiting for him to finish what he was doing so I could maybe discuss the session, or ask some questions. He finally looked up at as and saw me watching and said, "Okay, goodnight" and went back to whatever he was doing. No, "glad to have you, hope to see you again", no nothing. So we left.
Needless to say, we most likely won't be going back. It was good experience with combat, I guess, but that was about it. We didn't really feel welcome, we felt like we were intruding, and I'm confused as the why the campaign is listed on the library events in the first place if they don't want new party members. Especially being listed as a one-shot. Like, you can reserve the rooms at the library for your own person meetings and stuff without having them listed as events. I don't understand why they don't just do that.
So, yeah, my first D&D experience was not great. I would have preferred more RP, more exploration, maybe just more description in general. The session was extremely combat focused. Which is fine, if that's what the party wants, but there was no information given about what to expect, so I was definitely not expecting that. IF we do go back, we're going to go at least half an hour early and talk to the DM some before the session and see what's up *since there's no way to contact him or talk to any of the other players between games). If he'll even talk to us, because he didn't seem like a very personable guy. If the talk doesn't go well, we won't stay for the session, or return again.
Still looking for games on Roll20 regularly, and still having no success. I hope to find us something better, but my hopes aren't high.
So, yeah! That was my first d&d experience. What was everyone else's first game like?
It happens. I stopped playing with strangers because there just wasn't much chemistry or consistency. I'd just try to get 2-3 of your friends together and volunteer to be DM. If you've been listening to shows for a while, you can run Lost Mines of Phendelver for a group of newbies, no problem. In my experience, playing with people you like is way more important than how experienced the DM is or how well you know the rules
@pillowcaseking57 If I had friends besides my husband I wouldn't have had this problem lmfao. I wasn't really looking for feedback, mostly just sharing my experience and asking about others' experiences. But thanks for the comment!
That's rough. There are better groups for you out there for sure, but it can be challenging to find them. Pillowcaseking's suggestion to try and run a group of your own is certainly viable, though getting your friends or relatives to play isn't all that easy.
I think most people's first experience came with some growing pains, unless they were fortunate enough to stumble upon a really good and welcoming group to help them dip their toes in the water. I started in groups that were still having to figure things out as we went along; it's not the worst thing in the world to muddle through the this-works-but-that-definitely-doesn't woes together, but it wasn't a picnic either. I suggest trying whatever you can find (there's a number of options to try in my sig) - even the stuff that doesn't stick will help you in the long run. Don't knock a session or two with adolescents just because they're younger than you: especially if the DM knows what they're doing (and possibly is using a published module with a properly defined story and goals) that can be really good too.
"I watch a lot of sessions on twitch, though, by a lot of different people, and I've seen a little bit of CR, so I knew what to expect" gave me a bit of a chuckle, if you don't mind my saying so. Even people I've played with for a good while can surprise me, and completely new groups are always a shot in the dark. I hope the next one comes closer to the mark though. Best of luck with it.
Want to start playing but don't have anyone to play with? You can try these options: [link].
At least where I live, if you advertise as a DM, the player slots get filled really quickly. I've checked my local FB group and every time a DM advertises, the group is filled within hours. So maybe you could find your local FB group and advertise as a DM looking for players - you'll get a group in no time. Being DM, you have the power to adjust the table according to what works for you. Being in such demand means you can afford to be picky. Don't be rude like that guy was, but if you have the steering wheel, you get to decide where the car goes. That might get you a better experience.
If you're not willing or able to to discuss in good faith, then don't be surprised if I don't respond, there are better things in life for me to do than humour you. This signature is that response.
Pickup games can be rough. I met some really weird people and had some sessions that were not great. But one of the people I met invited me to join a game with his friends, who turned out to be pretty cool. That was over 10 years ago, and we still play weekly.
Keep trying, and keep your eyes open for like-minded folks. They're out there.
My homebrew subclasses (full list here)
(Artificer) Swordmage | Glasswright | (Barbarian) Path of the Savage Embrace
(Bard) College of Dance | (Fighter) Warlord | Cannoneer
(Monk) Way of the Elements | (Ranger) Blade Dancer
(Rogue) DaggerMaster | Inquisitor | (Sorcerer) Riftwalker | Spellfist
(Warlock) The Swarm
That sounds really frustrating. Different groups have different goals (part of what makes session 0 so important).
My best advice at the moment is actually to just play with your husband. 2 player games are a bit different, and a bit hard, and can make for some wonky habits, but if you both have the same goals in play, you'll have a lot of fun.
My first time DMing was for a single friend because scheduling was impossible. We did Lost Mine of Phandelver, which is meant for four or five Lv1 Characters. He started as a Level 5 Paladin and generally had fun. Level up at the end of each mini-adventure to be able to keep up with the increase in difficulty and action economy.
If you'd rather, you can also run a Dual DM game. Same thing, but you both run level 3 characters and both DM. Most chapters in LMoP have more than one big bad and you trade off on who plays who. You can get a ton of RP in that way if you let your character take the back seat while you play a villain. It's more important to have fun with it than avoid meta-gaming.
As others have implied different people like different aspects of D&D. D&D involves the strategy of combat, a story deing developed, exploring the evironment, solving "puzzles" (from code solving to how to persuade the king to give you what you need to eliminate a threat he is not aware of) and of course role play. Different people like different aspects with some players wanting into to focus on the cmbat with no role-playing and just enough story to get to the combat.
The reason why posting on roll 20 (and the forums here) fill up fast is generally there are more players wanting to play than DM's that are willing to run games can cope with. I lot of players have reservations about paying a DM so if you are willing to pay a DM you are much more likely to get offered a place in such a game. If you go this route make sure the DM gives plenty of oportunity to roleplay makes sure that one or two players do not hog the limelight and in other ways ensure the game is going to be one that meets your desires.
The other side of the coin of more players than DMs is if you post a game as a DM on roll20 or the forums here you are likely to be inundated with applications ask all the applicants what they would like to get from the game and choose the players that have similar objectives to you. I would recommend you play a few games with your hsband first so you (or your husband) are not totally new to the game when you do that.
Yeah, one of the first things you learn in this hobby is that not every group of random people can just sit down and be a dnd group. There's so many conflicting tastes and ideas of what constitutes good play that unless you have a chance to have an in-depth discussion about what everyone's looking for out of the game, it's real easy to have a bad time. Especially since this game doesn't sound very new-player-friendly.
One thing I will note is, that if you're primarily experienced with dnd through streams like Critical Role, you may need to temper your expectations a little. They focus a lot more heavily on roleplay and in-depth backstory, all the players are professional voice actors and writers, and they have a lot of time professionally to devote towards developing their characters. You will find plenty of other players that want to run an RP heavy game, that won't be an issue since a ton of people love RP, but those people won't all have the time and resources of the Critical Role cast.
That said, next time you're looking for a group, I might emphasize that you're seeking a game that is new-player-friendly and that you prefer a roleplay focused game. Local comic shops are also good places to meet like-minded players. Also see if you're town/city has a [Town Name] Dungeons & Dragons Facebook group. I met my current group through Facebook and after one or two false starts we're going really well.
I definitely recommend trying to get a game together with people you know.
I tried Adventure League play with a group of random strangers, and it was awful.
Find out who GMs the games at your local game store. Have a talk with them and let them know you're new and would like to learn how to play.
"Sooner or later, your Players are going to smash your railroad into a sandbox."
-Vedexent
"real life is a super high CR."
-OboeLauren
"............anybody got any potatoes? We could drop a potato in each hole an' see which ones get viciously mauled by horrible monsters?"
-Ilyara Thundertale
@CharlesThePlant When I said I knew what the expect from watching streams, I didn't mean I expected the sessions to be just like the streams, I just meant I knew what the expect out of a well-balanced session, and what was expected of me in general. This session was not well-balanced, it was heavily combat-focused. Also, as I said, I've only seen a little bit of CR, and I know better than to expect any other DM to live up to Matt Mercer levels of DMing lmao. I primarily watch smaller D&D streams, where there isn't a ton of theatrics or voice acting, and the chemistry between the players and characters tends to vary, and sometimes new players are integrated. I watch these streams to get used to the rules and the lingo, and familiarize myself with the world, etc. Most of the streams I watch are not very popular, and tend to have less than 10 viewers at any given time. My expectations are most definitely not in need of tempering, trust me, lmao. The ONLY thing I expected was a well-balanced game. Which I definitely did not get.
I wouldn't say I want something RP focused, I just want something with ANY kind of RP in it. A mix of combat, exploration, and RP would be perfect. Like any average campaign. Instead of only combat.
And I thought this game WAS new-player friendly. Considering it was a library-hosted event and said it was a one-shot. I definitely managed my expectations going in and was still extremely disappointed.
But I digress. The point of this post wasn't necessarily to ask for feedback or advice. I was just sharing my bad experience and asking others what their first experience was like.
@Wysperra I know how to play the game. I don't need to learn. I literally just need a group to play with.
Also, thanks for the advice, I guess, but I wasn't really asking for it. Just wondering how other peoples first experiences compared to mine.
Try the teenagers at your local store. I doubt it'll be worse than your experience so far. At the very least you can ask about their game, you don't have to commit to anything.
Want to start playing but don't have anyone to play with? You can try these options: [link].
@Jegpeg Yes, thank you, I had already figured all that out. Wasn't really the point of the post, though. I appreciate the advice, but I don't really need it. Was just sharing my experience and asking about others experiences.
@Erokow32 Yes it was very frustrating! We're actually planning a session right now for jut the two of us for next weekend. We're creating a group of characters right now, and coming up with our own enemies/encounters, etc, and plan to take turns DMing. So far it seems like it's gonna be a lot of fun. We're having fun planning it so far, anyway, haha.
So, what was your first D&D experience as a player like?
@pangurjan Yeah, no thanks. My husband and I are 30, we're not going to approach a group of teenagers unprompted, that's weird. I doubt we have very much in common with teenagers, anyway. I know when I was a teenager I would have been weirded out by an adult couple approaching me and my friends having fun out in public and asking us about what we were doing. Not gonna be that person lmao.
Like I said, though, not really looking for suggestions. I'm figuring things out on my own. Just curious about other people's first game experiences as a player, that's all.
This is where you went wrong, and why I think many first experiences are going to differ from yours.
Many of us didn't have any expectations when we first played D&D. We didn't know what we wanted out of the gaming experience, and we certainly didn't have a preconception about what a session was supposed to look like. We just sat down and played. Over time, we learned what we liked and didn't like and then found groups that offered that.
The session you played wasn't unbalanced. It was perfectly balanced...for that style of gaming. There are tons of people who want nothing to do with RP and are in it for the combat and the loot. It's not a better or worse playstyle, it's just different from yours. That's why so many of us really encourage a session zero, so disappointments precisely like yours are mitigated. That said, while it is definitely unfortunate that your first session didn't live up to what you imagined it'd be, I'm glad it hasn't soured your taste for D&D itself. I hope you can find a group that fits your playstyle soon, with a DM who is communicative and sensitive to your hopes.
My first D&D game was in college, and a friend was helping me create my character so his roommate could run a small session for the two of us. I rolled godlike stats in everything except Charisma, which annoyed my friend, apparently. He told me I had to play a rogue because of my stats, and said I couldn't play a neutral or chaotic character because of...something that sounded reasonable at the time. The session was 80% combat, 15% exploration, and 5% roleplay. I loved every second of it and wanted to continue. We never played again.
Years later, I picked up D&D anew and realized how gatekeep-y my friend had been. Had I known then what I know now about how character creation should go and what I like out of games (I'm a heavily RP-focused player), I would have hated my first experience. But because I had no expectations at all, I look back on it fondly.
I have to agree with Bagels. There different ways of playing, and they're all valid. I'm not big on "just combat" styles, but that's just as valid and correct as how I play which is a mix but leaning towards story telling, which is no more or less valid than any other style. I do wonder if the OP's preconceptions caused disappointment and therefore frustration when someone played differently.
Streamers have their styles, probably emphasising RP in order to keep the attention of viewers. Number crunching combat is just another way of doing it. Not my cup of tea, I'd get bored and anxious at the same time, but it's just another way. I'd be game for a session or two occasionally, but I do like RP, problem solving and storytelling too in my adventures.
If you're not willing or able to to discuss in good faith, then don't be surprised if I don't respond, there are better things in life for me to do than humour you. This signature is that response.