Hello all. I'm a player in a homebrew campaign in real life, and I need advice with how to help making this other player feel comfortable and heard. I feel that so far, I have failed to do so.

This other player, I shall call them Shally, has an intense stutter that makes it hard to understand them. Its so intense that I am fortunate that we have other people at the table, as they are able to translate what Shally is saying. If I was in the DM's shoes I'd be in big trouble! I'll call the DM Henry, being the king at the table. I can tell he's trying his best to include them as much as possible, but the effects have been minimal. Other characters naturally take the stoplight, while I feel that we're not really hearing what Shally has to say. Sessions also get delayed quite a bit while we're trying to figure out what they're saying.

Most of us don't mind, but worse yet, I can tell that some of the other players are losing patience. During one of our attempts at figuring out what Shally wanted to do, one of the other players made a most rude comment. I gave them a death stare, but I think that it still affected Shally. She didn't say too much for the rest of the session. I felt really bad for them of course. I've also noticed the bad habits that you're not supposed to do with stuttering individuals, such as finishing their sentences for them.

Furthermore, I don't think that I'm helping. Having a one on one role play is nearly impossible for us. Nothing's worse than me trying to start an in-character conversation. Game seizes up at that point for a long time, disturbing game flow.

As a player, I beseech the DnD player base: what should I do? 

a tech solution would be to use a text-to-speech sort of setup - might not be respectful though 

have heard singing or speaking to a tune can help with stuttering - unsure if its true or not though

lastly having the rude player fall into a trap due to rushing the other player or a monster to steal the vocal cords of the rude player so they cant speak for a session or two :) 

Quote from AuroraMoon >>

a tech solution would be to use a text-to-speech sort of setup 

 This - or just text, and the GM reads it aloud. 

There's just no easy way around it. This is a game of people talking to each other. A sufficiently bad stutter makes the talking game all but impossible to play. You have to find ways around that. 

Also, deliberate rudeness isn't to be tolerated - but I'd advise caution as to whether the intent was to hurt, or help. Or just frustration, which is just as human as having a stutter. Less ... permanent though.

This sounds like something you should all have a conversation about as a group. Trying asking the player with shutter what things you as a group can do to actually help them. It will work much better if you're all on the same page, and work out some effective strategies together. Maybe set up some rules or something for the other players as well to make sure the player is comfortable.

There are probably multiple sources of a stutter, but my experience is that it's largely sourced in anxiety. I'll speak with the assumption that it's the case here.

The only way I know of to remove the stutter is to remove the anxiety, to make them feel comfortable and confident. That's not a one night job, but over several sessions. Impatient comments are not helpful, but neither is contention - singling her out (even for defence) is also likely to cause anxiety.

The text-to-speech solution is also likely to cause anxiety for similar reasons. It's an okay solution for today's problem (inability to express herself) but could well prolong or even exacerbate the problem in the long run as she gets anxious about being even more obviously different and be a part of tomorrow's problem.

The only real long-term solution is to make her feel comfortable and confident around you all. If that happens, the stutter will start to clear up by itself. It might even disappear with time. That does require patience and kindness on the part of all involved.

Of course, everyone is individual. It's entirely possible that the solutions that I've expressed concern about are exactly what she needs and would provoke the confidence boost you're after. Showing that you're a friend and she's in a safe space will potentially let her open up and you can ask her if these things (or if there's something else) that can help.

I have a stutter that now only shows up when I get nervous thanks to some speech coaching, teaching during graduate school, and monthly presentations in my profession. Usually I just get tripped up on one word at a time when I am caught off guard now, so not too bad. I would love to see how Henry has supported Shally beyond encouraging them to speak, which can actually have the opposite effect than intended, at least it would in my case. I was so self-conscious about speaking that at one point in my uni days, I had gone so long without uttering a single syllable that I had forgotten what my own voice sounded like. Sometimes pushing people to speak isn't the right move.

Has Henry asked Shally how Shally wants to be supported? I think that is very important because everyone wants to be supported in different ways. Also, some may know what works for them and some may not. I would also be curious how Henry had addressed the rude comment from another player. It seems like it was not addressed at all. Shally is not going to just forget it. Stuff like that is like someone adding a heavy rock to their back, pressing them down.

Overall, I would encourage that everyone start with patience until a solution is found. A stutter is not deliberate and believe me, I have never known anyone who enjoys being different in this particular way. D&D is for everyone, even those who are challenged by speaking.

Have had this same problem to a small degree my whole playing time. One of our players has a stutter.

Over the years it has gotten far better because of everything motioned above. He has tried it all.
The best thing you can do is just be patient and let them speak as they can without interrupting them. They will get better as time goes on and their anxiety goes down.

Quote from Erik_Soong >>

I have a stutter that now only shows up when I get nervous thanks to some speech coaching, teaching during graduate school, and monthly presentations in my profession. Usually I just get tripped up on one word at a time when I am caught off guard now, so not too bad. I would love to see how Henry has supported Shally beyond encouraging them to speak, which can actually have the opposite effect than intended, at least it would in my case. I was so self-conscious about speaking that at one point in my uni days, I had gone so long without uttering a single syllable that I had forgotten what my own voice sounded like. Sometimes pushing people to speak isn't the right move.

Has Henry asked Shally how Shally wants to be supported? I think that is very important because everyone wants to be supported in different ways. Also, some may know what works for them and some may not. I would also be curious how Henry had addressed the rude comment from another player. It seems like it was not addressed at all. Shally is not going to just forget it. Stuff like that is like someone adding a heavy rock to their back, pressing them down.

Overall, I would encourage that everyone start with patience until a solution is found. A stutter is not deliberate and believe me, I have never known anyone who enjoys being different in this particular way. D&D is for everyone, even those who are challenged by speaking.

 
This. 

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I always had a mild stutter - the "fall on my words" kind. Like the speech program glitches or goes unresponsive and I have to crash out and retry. It wasn't very often. It takes a certain mental effort to speak and I had a job that involved being on the phones a lot (it wasn't when I started but employers do what they do). Sometimes those clients aren't very nice when my stutter happens. To then come home and have to speak more in a D&D game is just taxing. So I only played in text-only games. However, this only works if everyone is doing text-only. When there's a mix, it will very easily cause the typer to get ignored by the speakers. It can make you feel incredibly embarrassed if you're the only one typing because you feel like you're holding up the game, slowing them down. And, technically, you are. Text to speech is also limiting and breaks the immersion when the nuances of your text cause the voice to sound especially weird. This will be especially noticeable if you're the only one using it and this again just makes you feel singled out, unlike everyone, the odd one out and the freak of the group. Oftentimes no amount of encouraging or supportive words from the others will make that feeling go away. So for some people "everyone is text-only" may be the only compromise. It was for me.

"I would also be curious how Henry had addressed the rude comment from another player. It seems like it was not addressed at all. Shally is not going to just forget it. Stuff like that is like someone adding a heavy rock to their back, pressing them down."

TRUTH! In the last 8 months or so due to certain things, my stutter has become a lot more frequent and worse. It's not even just getting stuck on words but also repeating syllables and words too. I've had entire days, once nearly a week, where I couldn't talk at all. Stutters are frustrating, they can madden you. It makes you feel more vulnerable about it than it seems it should. So when people comment about it, it hurts. Even when comments aren't meant to be hurtful, just joking. Like when family sometimes go "just spit it out" or if they trip on a word and go "oh now I sound like you" - these are usually followed by laughs, they're meant as friendly banter. I will force a chuckle in reply but honestly it burrows in and sticks there. Days to weeks, even months later and I still think of those comments whenever the stutter attacks happen. 

A bad stutter is alienating. People don't understand it. Some will think you're faking - especially when your stutter, like most, isn't consistent. It's a very lonely thing. And this player is trying to play D&D through it, to still put themselves out there and all the extra insecurity it causes - and a fellow player turns rude about it? If the DM didn't do anything - they are a shit DM. 

My only advice is see if everyone can play as a text-only game. Or, maybe they need to find a new group who can. It sucks, of course - but it's frequently the reality. 

 Everyone's convinced me to talk to the DM, and have made really good points. It'll be a delicate conversation; I feel like I'm a surgeon with tweezers. The next session is in a whole month, so I'll update then.

One thing we can not do is a text-based game. These games that we play are in-store and are out of the control of both me and the DM.

Sending message so I get notifications for updates on this. Don’t mind me!

Quote from XavisDOS >>

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Seems like I'm a little late, and I don't have any direct experience with this specific issue, but yeah, the first step is to ask Shally if they have any requests or ideas because they know their situation best, and the DM should probably be the one to do it, or at least to broach it first. Politely as possible; people can feel embarrassed asking for accommodation sometimes, and it's important to be clear that it's about wanting them to have fun. If they would like help but aren't sure what to ask for, then you might offer ideas. I will defer to those who know more about this specific thing as to what actually would help (I'll say that I have friends who for different reasons and in different contexts do like to use text-to-speech in otherwise-live conversations, but it wouldn't be for everyone because it's probably the most... drastic/noticeable option).

Is the player a bard?

Singing tends to help the issue.  If he is playing a bard, he could sing more.

No, they are playing a paladin who attacks with a wooden staff

Be Kind If you think it is irritating imagine how Shally feels.

In the essence of being kind  this is not a subject for a group discussion  except to ask Shally if there anything you can do to help? From there you can suggest  Text or Text to Speech

I used to have a pretty bad stutter, and one of my students last year had a very heavy stutter. I had the benefit of speech therapy to overcome mine, but when I get seriously flustered/overwhelmed/stressed it pops back up again. My former student was generally considered one of the best interviewers in his class by his peers, faculty, and the staff even with his stutter. That’s because it’s true, he’s charismatic, intuitive, personable, and engaging.

The best thing everyone at your table can do is be as patient as possible. Let “Shally” take as long as they need to finish what they have to say, and for God’s sake whatever you do don’t try to hurry them or finish their sentences for them. That’s the worst thing any of you can do. Stammers and stutters tend to originate from the person’s mind moving at such a speed that their mouth can’t keep up and it trips over itself. Stutters are exacerbated when the person feels stressed or rushed. The more relaxed the person feels, the less pronounced their stammer will be. If everyone is patient, given enough time “Shally” will start to relax and feel less self conscious about their stammer. The more relaxed and less self conscious they are, the less pronounced their stutter will become. The less they stutter, the more relaxed they’ll be. It’s a cycle that feeds on itself. Let it feed on success and success will follow. Plus, over time your ear will become more accustomed to their stammer, and the easier it will be to understand what they’re saying. That’ll help too. So just be patient and understanding. That’s the best thing you can do.

I think everything you've gotten here and your decisions are the right moves. 

I'll only add that next time someone makes a rude or mean comment to another player, don't just give them an angry stare. Call them out. People are usually afraid of the phrase 'call them out' because they think it needs to be an angry confrontation - all you have to do is say "Hey, chill", or something along those lines. Silence after rude comments is the worst kind of silence. 

Yeah, I probably should have called them out. That's one of my weaknesses: I'm wayyyy too passive. It's one of the things I constantly need to work on.

By the way, the exact comment that was said is, "Well, I see that *someone* also has a big disability".

Quote from MasterWarcraft >>

Yeah, I probably should have called them out. That's one of my weaknesses: I'm wayyyy too passive. It's one of the things I constantly need to work on.

By the way, the exact comment that was said is, "Well, I see that *someone* also has a big disability".

 I wouldn't even try to talk that one through. The DM failed in their role here. The offending player should have just been straight up kicked.