hullo! im a new dm, and my campaign has had four sessions so far!
im having an issue with people either quitting within my 'one hour until session' announcement or just never showing up and silently removing themselves from the server. this has happened probably around 6 times already....
the module im running recommends 5-6 players and as of now i only have three :( does anyone have advice to somehow weed out people who for whatever reason bail?
It might be good feedback to find out why the others felt they should just up and leave the group, no conversation, nothing.. just quietly remove themselves. They did it for a reason. Could be an opportunity to learn and grow, or it could be that they just didn't have the time because life got in the way. I might suggest taking a moment to assess the last few interactions with the party, there is likely a clue in there somewhere.
Keeping players is as easy as running a fun game that they enjoy. That's it. No secret key to the universe. Just run a fun game. Don't be an adversarial DM. Easy.
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“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime.” - Mark Twain - Innocents Abroad
There are obviously a lot of factors of other peoples lives that can play into it, but I would certainly consider somebody not showing up to a scheduled game without any notification or subsequent contact to be very rude. It not only affects themselves, but every other player and the DM who is investing their time into what should be an enjoyable experience.
Two things that I try and culture in my campaign is
1) a sense of a group. I create a dedicated discord server for the active players so they have a sense of community and ability to talk/write out of session too
2) Schedule is king. I run my sessions weekly at a fixed time that was announced when the campaign started. The basic principle is that there will always be D&D on that time slot - even if there are too few players to progress the campaign (which to be honest has happened only twice in a year and a half - both as a result of me as DM being away - so others stepped up and ran one-shots). By having a regular schedule, you are signalling a longer term commitment, while acknowledging that not everyone might make it every single session (ideally, the players are aware of the time slot at the start of a campaign).
Many campaigns will experience some churn - people's lives change and they can't commit as much as before, or they find the campaign style not to be working that well for them, or they are having a difficult time and don't have the energy to commit. All are valid reasons, and something we as DM's should be compassionate about. I will always try and make sure that someone not able to participate for a little while doesn't end up heavily penalised - provided they have reached out and let me know (they don't have to share all the personal details - but it is common courtesy to let people know if you are going to miss an agreed session). If players simply don't show up, and don't offer and explanation or apology within a week, I would personally kick them off the campaign. You are better off perhaps temporarily adjusting your campaign to 3 players and then take your time to ensure new players are committed to the time slot and either open ended or a set number of sessions, while leaving a bit of humanity in there for those occasions when committed players just can't make it.
Are you sending reminders prior to the hour? It might be poor scheduling on their end, especially if it's a new group or new time. Try sending the reminder the day before.
If it's not scheduling, then just keep inviting new people. You'll eventually find enough people, at least for awhile.
does anyone have advice to somehow weed out people who for whatever reason bail?
As Kaavel said, some of this will happen out of your control, but you can be proactive on the recruitment end as well.
First, how are you adding new players? Are you just making an LFP post and inviting them to the server if they say they're interested? Are you accepting blind recommendations from your current players? While you may get new people quickly with this method, it'll be a crapshoot as to whether they're the kind of players you're looking for.
When I recruit on DDB forums, I almost treat it like a job posting. I am up front about what kind of game I'm running and my desired player traits (big into RP, can meet on Sunday afternoons, etc.). I also require that all interested people message me directly with their character concept. And this is where the weed-out process starts. I usually have a conversation with them in which I feel out their personality and play style and let them get to know me and my DM style. I ask them what they're looking for in a game experience and from a DM. If they reply in a timely fashion, have thoughtful answers, seem to jive with my playstyle, and are still interested in my game after going back and forth with private messages over the course of a day or two, then I usually offer them a spot in my campaign. They have proven they're willing to put in some effort and will likely treat me and my time with respect.
If they don't private message me, I ignore them - they've weeded themselves out as people who don't follow directions and I'm not interested in that kind of player. If they take forever to get back to me/ghost me, give me surface-level responses, can't communicate what they like and want out of D&D, or have character concepts that don't complement my setting, I thank them for their time and say I'm moving forward with other people. My process does take longer to fill player slots, but I end up with higher quality players because I make a point to ensure my players are a good fit for my campaign - and that I'm a good fit for them. And then, after all of this...I run a session zero, lol.
There's no wrong way to play D&D, but there are absolutely wrong tables for individual players to be at. I find that being a bit choosy when you're looking for players often helps to keep to bring the right players to yours.
It might be good feedback to find out why the others felt they should just up and leave the group, no conversation, nothing.. just quietly remove themselves. They did it for a reason. Could be an opportunity to learn and grow, or it could be that they just didn't have the time because life got in the way. I might suggest taking a moment to assess the last few interactions with the party, there is likely a clue in there somewhere.
Keeping players is as easy as running a fun game that they enjoy. That's it. No secret key to the universe. Just run a fun game. Don't be an adversarial DM. Easy.
There are obviously a lot of factors of other peoples lives that can play into it, but I would certainly consider somebody not showing up to a scheduled game without any notification or subsequent contact to be very rude. It not only affects themselves, but every other player and the DM who is investing their time into what should be an enjoyable experience.
Two things that I try and culture in my campaign is
1) a sense of a group. I create a dedicated discord server for the active players so they have a sense of community and ability to talk/write out of session too
2) Schedule is king. I run my sessions weekly at a fixed time that was announced when the campaign started. The basic principle is that there will always be D&D on that time slot - even if there are too few players to progress the campaign (which to be honest has happened only twice in a year and a half - both as a result of me as DM being away - so others stepped up and ran one-shots). By having a regular schedule, you are signalling a longer term commitment, while acknowledging that not everyone might make it every single session (ideally, the players are aware of the time slot at the start of a campaign).
Many campaigns will experience some churn - people's lives change and they can't commit as much as before, or they find the campaign style not to be working that well for them, or they are having a difficult time and don't have the energy to commit. All are valid reasons, and something we as DM's should be compassionate about. I will always try and make sure that someone not able to participate for a little while doesn't end up heavily penalised - provided they have reached out and let me know (they don't have to share all the personal details - but it is common courtesy to let people know if you are going to miss an agreed session). If players simply don't show up, and don't offer and explanation or apology within a week, I would personally kick them off the campaign. You are better off perhaps temporarily adjusting your campaign to 3 players and then take your time to ensure new players are committed to the time slot and either open ended or a set number of sessions, while leaving a bit of humanity in there for those occasions when committed players just can't make it.
Are you sending reminders prior to the hour? It might be poor scheduling on their end, especially if it's a new group or new time. Try sending the reminder the day before.
If it's not scheduling, then just keep inviting new people. You'll eventually find enough people, at least for awhile.
does anyone have advice to somehow weed out people who for whatever reason bail?
As Kaavel said, some of this will happen out of your control, but you can be proactive on the recruitment end as well.
First, how are you adding new players? Are you just making an LFP post and inviting them to the server if they say they're interested? Are you accepting blind recommendations from your current players? While you may get new people quickly with this method, it'll be a crapshoot as to whether they're the kind of players you're looking for.
When I recruit on DDB forums, I almost treat it like a job posting. I am up front about what kind of game I'm running and my desired player traits (big into RP, can meet on Sunday afternoons, etc.). I also require that all interested people message me directly with their character concept. And this is where the weed-out process starts. I usually have a conversation with them in which I feel out their personality and play style and let them get to know me and my DM style. I ask them what they're looking for in a game experience and from a DM. If they reply in a timely fashion, have thoughtful answers, seem to jive with my playstyle, and are still interested in my game after going back and forth with private messages over the course of a day or two, then I usually offer them a spot in my campaign. They have proven they're willing to put in some effort and will likely treat me and my time with respect.
If they don't private message me, I ignore them - they've weeded themselves out as people who don't follow directions and I'm not interested in that kind of player. If they take forever to get back to me/ghost me, give me surface-level responses, can't communicate what they like and want out of D&D, or have character concepts that don't complement my setting, I thank them for their time and say I'm moving forward with other people. My process does take longer to fill player slots, but I end up with higher quality players because I make a point to ensure my players are a good fit for my campaign - and that I'm a good fit for them. And then, after all of this...I run a session zero, lol.
There's no wrong way to play D&D, but there are absolutely wrong tables for individual players to be at. I find that being a bit choosy when you're looking for players often helps to keep to bring the right players to yours.
thank you guys for the advice! ill work on understanding and being more mindful abt things i dont know nor can control :3
Pickup games can be brutal. Some good advice here, just want to say that it's pretty normal and just kind of a gauntlet you need to get through. But hopefully you will com out with a good group on the other side.
It happens all the time unfortunately, somebody dropped out of the game I was in on friday. She didn’t even say anything, we were like maybe 10 mins in to the very first session and people were just introducing themselves and saying hello. She dropped from the discord server and dndbeyond campaign without saying anything. It’s rude as hell but nothing you can do about it.
I used One-shots to screen them at the table, because I check the bulletin board at the friendly local gaming store for recruits.
I'm good to run for tables of up to 5 players, so I invite 5 to the one-shot. Anyone who does a no-call/no-show is immediately removed from the list of players for the table. A late cancellation is a strike. The one-shot is used to make sure the players and I have compatible expectations and playstyles. I run the one-shots in the setting for the campaign, so the players are still gaining information about the world they'll be playing in if they stay for the campaign.
If less than a full table showed up for that one-shot, I tell them that I'll do another one-shot with a few more people to fill out the ranks, and give the players a chance to recommend players if they know someone that they think would be a good fit. If someone cancelled for the first one, and I think that might have been a fluke, I' may invite them for the second one-shot... but it is two-strikes and you're out. My games have big encounters and big, over-arching stories that need the players to be there for the majority of the sessions. My goal is 5 players so we can still play without drastically re-balancing encounters if one or two of them can't make it.
Once I have a comfortable 4-5 players, I start the campaign. (I had half-a-dozen potential players either never show up or leave after one session too. I think that's just part of the problem of getting people together in the modern day)
It's unfortunately a common occurence in online play with easy registering. People join in and out as easily. I ran a lot of online pick-up one shot games in the past and something i came up with on the old WoTC D&D forums was to use Forum Post to recruit. My games would fill rapidly and once full, i would put additional players on a reserve list to be called up in case of no show. I was very rarely playing below players count for an adventure for this reason.
I've lost count of how many players I've had quit last minute without a word. They'll go through all the effort of making a character and writing a backstory and then quit the server 5 minutes before the session begins. Sometimes its not until the 2nd session. Sometimes they don't quit the server, they just don't show up and don't respond to messages. One person suggested a lengthier interview process with a lot more questions. I'm considering requiring another means of contact other than discord because I'm pretty sure 95% of discord users have all notifications turned off at all times and most don't even show their status.
The players that have stuck around tell me they have fun so I don't think I'm doing anything wrong and you probably aren't either. There could be a lot of reasons for this but one of my biggest pet peeves is someone making excuses for flakes and ghosters, so I won't do that. I hate to say it, but there are just a lot of selfish and inconsiderate people out there and the internet makes it even easier for them to be that way without having to deal with any of the natural consequences of that attitude and behavior that they might encounter in the real world.
Someone suggested hosting one shots to sort out new players. I like that idea and think I will try that. I loathe the idea of doing thirty 2 hour interviews just to find 2 good players, but the one shot idea? That's brilliant.
50% of players will quit. If you want 4, recruit 6.
Over time, your player count will drop, for all manner of in-game or IRL reasons. Expect to rerecruit 1 player each 6-12 months, even in smoothely running campaigns.
If the above doesn't describe your situation, it's within reason to conceive the thought that maybe you're the problem (or the solution, if your numbers are better). GM'ing is no picnic, but it's wonderful training for social interactions in other arenas. Most if not all of the social wisdom I have now - and I am now very wise indeed - comes from GM'ing.
Remember to make the game fun for the players. It's a conundrum: Everyone plays to have fun, themselves - except the GM, who only get's to play if it's fun for others.
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Blanket disclaimer: I only ever state opinion. But I can sound terribly dogmatic - so if you feel I'm trying to tell you what to think, I'm really not, I swear. I'm telling you what I think, that's all.
I started playing D&D in middle school without access to a community of players, so I had to build my group from the ground up. I had to just send out an invite to the friends I thought were most likely to stick, and when they didn’t, I replaced them. It’s rough and you’ll go through a lot of players getting started, but you’ll come out with a great group at the end. Just persevere for now.
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hullo! im a new dm, and my campaign has had four sessions so far!
im having an issue with people either quitting within my 'one hour until session' announcement or just never showing up and silently removing themselves from the server. this has happened probably around 6 times already....
the module im running recommends 5-6 players and as of now i only have three :( does anyone have advice to somehow weed out people who for whatever reason bail?
They will self-select, as you are seeing now.
It might be good feedback to find out why the others felt they should just up and leave the group, no conversation, nothing.. just quietly remove themselves. They did it for a reason. Could be an opportunity to learn and grow, or it could be that they just didn't have the time because life got in the way. I might suggest taking a moment to assess the last few interactions with the party, there is likely a clue in there somewhere.
Keeping players is as easy as running a fun game that they enjoy. That's it. No secret key to the universe. Just run a fun game. Don't be an adversarial DM. Easy.
“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime.” - Mark Twain - Innocents Abroad
There are obviously a lot of factors of other peoples lives that can play into it, but I would certainly consider somebody not showing up to a scheduled game without any notification or subsequent contact to be very rude. It not only affects themselves, but every other player and the DM who is investing their time into what should be an enjoyable experience.
Two things that I try and culture in my campaign is
1) a sense of a group. I create a dedicated discord server for the active players so they have a sense of community and ability to talk/write out of session too
2) Schedule is king. I run my sessions weekly at a fixed time that was announced when the campaign started. The basic principle is that there will always be D&D on that time slot - even if there are too few players to progress the campaign (which to be honest has happened only twice in a year and a half - both as a result of me as DM being away - so others stepped up and ran one-shots). By having a regular schedule, you are signalling a longer term commitment, while acknowledging that not everyone might make it every single session (ideally, the players are aware of the time slot at the start of a campaign).
Many campaigns will experience some churn - people's lives change and they can't commit as much as before, or they find the campaign style not to be working that well for them, or they are having a difficult time and don't have the energy to commit. All are valid reasons, and something we as DM's should be compassionate about. I will always try and make sure that someone not able to participate for a little while doesn't end up heavily penalised - provided they have reached out and let me know (they don't have to share all the personal details - but it is common courtesy to let people know if you are going to miss an agreed session).
If players simply don't show up, and don't offer and explanation or apology within a week, I would personally kick them off the campaign. You are better off perhaps temporarily adjusting your campaign to 3 players and then take your time to ensure new players are committed to the time slot and either open ended or a set number of sessions, while leaving a bit of humanity in there for those occasions when committed players just can't make it.
Are you sending reminders prior to the hour? It might be poor scheduling on their end, especially if it's a new group or new time. Try sending the reminder the day before.
If it's not scheduling, then just keep inviting new people. You'll eventually find enough people, at least for awhile.
As Kaavel said, some of this will happen out of your control, but you can be proactive on the recruitment end as well.
First, how are you adding new players? Are you just making an LFP post and inviting them to the server if they say they're interested? Are you accepting blind recommendations from your current players? While you may get new people quickly with this method, it'll be a crapshoot as to whether they're the kind of players you're looking for.
When I recruit on DDB forums, I almost treat it like a job posting. I am up front about what kind of game I'm running and my desired player traits (big into RP, can meet on Sunday afternoons, etc.). I also require that all interested people message me directly with their character concept. And this is where the weed-out process starts. I usually have a conversation with them in which I feel out their personality and play style and let them get to know me and my DM style. I ask them what they're looking for in a game experience and from a DM. If they reply in a timely fashion, have thoughtful answers, seem to jive with my playstyle, and are still interested in my game after going back and forth with private messages over the course of a day or two, then I usually offer them a spot in my campaign. They have proven they're willing to put in some effort and will likely treat me and my time with respect.
If they don't private message me, I ignore them - they've weeded themselves out as people who don't follow directions and I'm not interested in that kind of player. If they take forever to get back to me/ghost me, give me surface-level responses, can't communicate what they like and want out of D&D, or have character concepts that don't complement my setting, I thank them for their time and say I'm moving forward with other people. My process does take longer to fill player slots, but I end up with higher quality players because I make a point to ensure my players are a good fit for my campaign - and that I'm a good fit for them. And then, after all of this...I run a session zero, lol.
There's no wrong way to play D&D, but there are absolutely wrong tables for individual players to be at. I find that being a bit choosy when you're looking for players often helps to keep to bring the right players to yours.
thank you guys for the advice! ill work on understanding and being more mindful abt things i dont know nor can control :3
The best use for a flake is in the top of an ice cream.
Pickup games can be brutal. Some good advice here, just want to say that it's pretty normal and just kind of a gauntlet you need to get through. But hopefully you will com out with a good group on the other side.
My homebrew subclasses (full list here)
(Artificer) Swordmage | Glasswright | (Barbarian) Path of the Savage Embrace
(Bard) College of Dance | (Fighter) Warlord | Cannoneer
(Monk) Way of the Elements | (Ranger) Blade Dancer
(Rogue) DaggerMaster | Inquisitor | (Sorcerer) Riftwalker | Spellfist
(Warlock) The Swarm
It happens all the time unfortunately, somebody dropped out of the game I was in on friday. She didn’t even say anything, we were like maybe 10 mins in to the very first session and people were just introducing themselves and saying hello. She dropped from the discord server and dndbeyond campaign without saying anything. It’s rude as hell but nothing you can do about it.
Are you suggesting we eat those players? Because if so, I would love to take you up on that offer! Sounds like a quality date night!
Being gender-fluid and pansexual makes roleplay a lot easier!
I used One-shots to screen them at the table, because I check the bulletin board at the friendly local gaming store for recruits.
I'm good to run for tables of up to 5 players, so I invite 5 to the one-shot. Anyone who does a no-call/no-show is immediately removed from the list of players for the table. A late cancellation is a strike. The one-shot is used to make sure the players and I have compatible expectations and playstyles. I run the one-shots in the setting for the campaign, so the players are still gaining information about the world they'll be playing in if they stay for the campaign.
If less than a full table showed up for that one-shot, I tell them that I'll do another one-shot with a few more people to fill out the ranks, and give the players a chance to recommend players if they know someone that they think would be a good fit. If someone cancelled for the first one, and I think that might have been a fluke, I' may invite them for the second one-shot... but it is two-strikes and you're out. My games have big encounters and big, over-arching stories that need the players to be there for the majority of the sessions. My goal is 5 players so we can still play without drastically re-balancing encounters if one or two of them can't make it.
Once I have a comfortable 4-5 players, I start the campaign. (I had half-a-dozen potential players either never show up or leave after one session too. I think that's just part of the problem of getting people together in the modern day)
It's unfortunately a common occurence in online play with easy registering. People join in and out as easily. I ran a lot of online pick-up one shot games in the past and something i came up with on the old WoTC D&D forums was to use Forum Post to recruit. My games would fill rapidly and once full, i would put additional players on a reserve list to be called up in case of no show. I was very rarely playing below players count for an adventure for this reason.
I've lost count of how many players I've had quit last minute without a word. They'll go through all the effort of making a character and writing a backstory and then quit the server 5 minutes before the session begins. Sometimes its not until the 2nd session. Sometimes they don't quit the server, they just don't show up and don't respond to messages. One person suggested a lengthier interview process with a lot more questions. I'm considering requiring another means of contact other than discord because I'm pretty sure 95% of discord users have all notifications turned off at all times and most don't even show their status.
The players that have stuck around tell me they have fun so I don't think I'm doing anything wrong and you probably aren't either. There could be a lot of reasons for this but one of my biggest pet peeves is someone making excuses for flakes and ghosters, so I won't do that. I hate to say it, but there are just a lot of selfish and inconsiderate people out there and the internet makes it even easier for them to be that way without having to deal with any of the natural consequences of that attitude and behavior that they might encounter in the real world.
Someone suggested hosting one shots to sort out new players. I like that idea and think I will try that. I loathe the idea of doing thirty 2 hour interviews just to find 2 good players, but the one shot idea? That's brilliant.
Quelenna Lovechild of Corellan Lorethian
50% of players will quit. If you want 4, recruit 6.
Over time, your player count will drop, for all manner of in-game or IRL reasons. Expect to rerecruit 1 player each 6-12 months, even in smoothely running campaigns.
If the above doesn't describe your situation, it's within reason to conceive the thought that maybe you're the problem (or the solution, if your numbers are better). GM'ing is no picnic, but it's wonderful training for social interactions in other arenas. Most if not all of the social wisdom I have now - and I am now very wise indeed - comes from GM'ing.
Remember to make the game fun for the players. It's a conundrum: Everyone plays to have fun, themselves - except the GM, who only get's to play if it's fun for others.
Blanket disclaimer: I only ever state opinion. But I can sound terribly dogmatic - so if you feel I'm trying to tell you what to think, I'm really not, I swear. I'm telling you what I think, that's all.
I started playing D&D in middle school without access to a community of players, so I had to build my group from the ground up. I had to just send out an invite to the friends I thought were most likely to stick, and when they didn’t, I replaced them. It’s rough and you’ll go through a lot of players getting started, but you’ll come out with a great group at the end. Just persevere for now.