I approach the remaining unconscious goblin, loot him just in case.... tilt his head back opening his mouth. I drop trou and proceed to shit in it's mouth... whilst playing a tune on my lute. Keeping a deadly serious face "I call this one, Holy Diver." Sure to pause, wipe with the goblin or it's clothes, pull my pants up and continue the song bestowing bardic inspiration upon Fjolnir.
Az Emberi heals Sildar, who wakes in time to see him smash a goblin skull, splashing brain matter and other viscera on his face, temporarily sating his bloodlust.
He watches in continual awe as Fjolnier severs a finger from the goblin that made rude gestures at him, and Dirk uses a sleeping goblin's head as a toilet.
"What the... I was going to say it's good to see you all again, but I could've done without seeing all of that. Would someone be so kind as to untie me?" Sildar has a kindly demeanor and looks to be in his 50's. His hands are currently tied behind his back. Well, there's four of you, where's the big fella... Absinthe was it? A spattering of blood covers Sildar from (See what Absinthe did to Yeemik below!) There he is... oh I hope Gundren didn't make a mistake hiring you...
After he says this, the goblin chokes itself awake and vomits shit vomit all over the floor.
Hymir, you can act before the goblin does, what are you doing?
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
-We are all just one failed saving throw away from someone else's fantasy...
This post has potentially manipulated dice roll results.
The goblin goes back to sleep... for good.
Congrats! You all gain 275 XP for clearing out Cragmaw Hideout! You are all LEVEL 2 and can start picking level 2 shit.
At this point in time if any of you want to edit your ability scores to help maximize your characters, you may do so. Most of you are already doing the max attack bonus and damage for a level one character, but if you want to swap out to get more Dex for AC, or CON for HP, or anything for anything, go ahead.
I assume you're going to loot the rest of the goblins, because that's just what you do. Along with the standard equipment for each of the 6 goblins in here, (1 shortbow, 1 Shield, 1 Scimitar) Yeemik has a pouch with 3 gold teeth (1 gp each), and 15 sp. I will add that to party loot. I will also split it up evenly so we can skip the IC requirement of selling items that are only worth money, and just add it to the pool. No need to waste time trying to find buyers for mundane items, we'll just pretend they get sold as soon as you reach town. If the consensus is to do that with the weapons you've acquired as well, I'll roll all the weapons into gold, too. Sildar, however, takes one scimitar and shield, since all his gear was taken from him.
Throughout the cave you have also found: 58 arrows
Changing back to human I stumble a little and use my shillelagh for balance. "Changing twice in a day is exhausting.We have work to do. Two of us should go get the cart and bring it back the rest should start bringing the supplies from klargs cave to the mouth if the cave so we can loa it up and bring it back to town. Sildar can tell us what he knows of Gundrens fate while we work."
Fjolnir starts picking up supplies and walking them to the mouth of the center of the room for export. "Well, glad you made it through the ordeal, Sildar!"
"...And next time you ponder whether it was a good idea for Gundren to hire us keep in mind that HE was in fact the one that hired us and we had no obligation to save you.
Sildar sits up, looking much better than when you found him, thanks to Az Emberi. "Thank you all for coming to my rescue. I am in your debt. If I ever make it back to the great city of Waterdeep, I'll put in a good word for you with the Griffon Cavalry. I guess I should start from the begining.
I met Gundren Rockseeker in Neverwinter and agreed to accompany him back to Phandalin. I was looking to investigate the fate of Iarno Albrek, a fellow member of the Lords’ Alliance, who I haven't heard from in two months since he went to Phandalin. I hope to learn what happened to Iarno, assist Gundren in reopening the old mine, and help restore Phandalin to a civilized center of wealth and prosperity, in the name of the Lord's Alliance. We in the Alliance are focused on the safety of cities and other settlements by proactively eliminating threats by any means while bringing honor and glory to their leaders and homelands." He speaks in a very proud tone of his allegiance, it sounds as if he's reading it from a book, like he's recited that phrase many times.
The three Rockseeker brothers, Gundren,Tharden, and Nundro recently located an entrance to the long-lost Wave Echo Cave, site of the mines of the Phandelver’s Pact. More than five hundred years ago, clans of dwarves and gnomes made an agreement known as the Phandelver’s Pact, by which they would share a rich mine in a wondrous cavern known as Wave Echo Cave. In addition to its mineral wealth, the mine contained great magical power. Human spellcasters allied themselves with the dwarves and gnomes to channel and bind that energy into a great forge called the Forge of Spells, where magic items could be crafted. Times were good, and the nearby human town of Phandalin prospered as well. But then disaster struck when orcs swept through the North and laid waste to all in their path.
A powerful force of orcs reinforced by evil mercenary wizards attacked Wave Echo Cave to seize its riches and magic treasures. Human wizards fought alongside their dwarf and gnome allies to defend the Forge of Spells, and the ensuing spell battle destroyed much of the cavern. Few survived the cave-ins and tremors, and the location of Wave Echo Cave was lost.
For centuries, rumors of buried riches have attracted treasure seekers and opportunists to the area around Phandalin, but no one has ever succeeded in locating the lost mine until the Rockseekers recently uncovered it. We tried to keep it a secret, but somehow we were found out. Klarg, the bugbear who leads this goblin band, led, I should say, had orders to waylay Gundren. I heard from the goblins that the Black Spider sent word that the dwarf was to be brought to him. I don’t know who or what the Black Spider is.
Gundren had a map showing the secret location of Wave Echo Cave, but the goblins took it when they captured him. I believe that Klarg sent the map and the dwarf to the chief of the Cragmaws at a place called Cragmaw Castle. I don’t know where that might be, but someone in Phandalin might know.
I intend to continue on toPhandalin, since it’s the nearest settlement. I'm not in the best state right now, so I'd appreciate your able escort, in exchange I'll pay you 50 gold. Although I haves no money on me, I can secure a loan to pay you after getting to Phandalin. I trust you've cleared out out the cave? If so, let's get to Phandalin, post haste.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
-We are all just one failed saving throw away from someone else's fantasy...
Fjolnir sighs heavily and scratches at his beard answering. "Yea... eh...we definitely need to get poor Gundren back safe, he's the feller what holds our contract after-all." He carries another box, getting ready to ship out. "...and we'll keep ya company heading there." He walks over toward the group and leans toward Dirk, "This guy is all honor and glory; will NOT be able to say if Phandalin has a red lantern district or if the pub has Ladies' Rooms..." and lets out a belabored raspberry exhale.
"Oh Fjolnir, I can make a brothel out of any maiden's bed... on a good day. Hmm, I can't seem to remember. Is the contract more than 95 gp 25 sp and 120 cp? Because I just made that, now."
we need to get to the town to sell all of that anyway. We may as well guide him there we can decude our next move at the tavern as I sdid. The first round is on me.
Absinthe grabs Yeemik by the ankles and with all my might, proceed to repeatedly smash the life out of him by lifting him up and slamming him on the ground.
We have our original cart to be delivered, a bunch of crates marked wit a sigil we're taking to the town to either return or sell, and a bunch of crud we're selling from looting corpses all loaded up in the cart. And we're heading out to Phandelver with Sidlar at our side. I will again drive the cart.
Looking at Az Emberi "Aw.... he's so cute when he's napping!"
Rainbow....... Mooo....
Absinthe dashes towards Yeemik.
... then Hymir moves over to Az Emberi and shakes him awake.
The goblins continue snoring.
Az Emberi, Dirk, Fjolnir, you're up!
9 rounds of sleep left.
-We are all just one failed saving throw away from someone else's fantasy...
As I walk to the closest living unconscious Goblin snarling. I wave my hand at Sildar withought looking casting healing word as a bonus action
5
When I get to The goblin i bring my shillelagh down on his head
Atack6
Attack advantage16
Dmg asduming crit 10
Crit2
Fjolnir walks to the First Goblin and cuts its right middle finger off at the base knuckle.
I approach the remaining unconscious goblin, loot him just in case.... tilt his head back opening his mouth. I drop trou and proceed to shit in it's mouth... whilst playing a tune on my lute. Keeping a deadly serious face "I call this one, Holy Diver." Sure to pause, wipe with the goblin or it's clothes, pull my pants up and continue the song bestowing bardic inspiration upon Fjolnir.
Rainbow....... Mooo....
Az Emberi heals Sildar, who wakes in time to see him smash a goblin skull, splashing brain matter and other viscera on his face, temporarily sating his bloodlust.
He watches in continual awe as Fjolnier severs a finger from the goblin that made rude gestures at him, and Dirk uses a sleeping goblin's head as a toilet.
"What the... I was going to say it's good to see you all again, but I could've done without seeing all of that. Would someone be so kind as to untie me?" Sildar has a kindly demeanor and looks to be in his 50's. His hands are currently tied behind his back. Well, there's four of you, where's the big fella... Absinthe was it? A spattering of blood covers Sildar from (See what Absinthe did to Yeemik below!) There he is... oh I hope Gundren didn't make a mistake hiring you...
After he says this, the goblin chokes itself awake and vomits shit vomit all over the floor.
Hymir, you can act before the goblin does, what are you doing?
-We are all just one failed saving throw away from someone else's fantasy...
I walk up to the goblin stand next to him and say "good night" and throw my last stone point blank at his face
Attack 20
Adv 23
Damage 9
Chronomancy!!!
The goblin goes back to sleep... for good.
Congrats! You all gain 275 XP for clearing out Cragmaw Hideout! You are all LEVEL 2 and can start picking level 2 shit.
At this point in time if any of you want to edit your ability scores to help maximize your characters, you may do so. Most of you are already doing the max attack bonus and damage for a level one character, but if you want to swap out to get more Dex for AC, or CON for HP, or anything for anything, go ahead.
I assume you're going to loot the rest of the goblins, because that's just what you do. Along with the standard equipment for each of the 6 goblins in here, (1 shortbow, 1 Shield, 1 Scimitar) Yeemik has a pouch with 3 gold teeth (1 gp each), and 15 sp. I will add that to party loot. I will also split it up evenly so we can skip the IC requirement of selling items that are only worth money, and just add it to the pool. No need to waste time trying to find buyers for mundane items, we'll just pretend they get sold as soon as you reach town. If the consensus is to do that with the weapons you've acquired as well, I'll roll all the weapons into gold, too. Sildar, however, takes one scimitar and shield, since all his gear was taken from him.
Throughout the cave you have also found: 58 arrows
-We are all just one failed saving throw away from someone else's fantasy...
Changing back to human I stumble a little and use my shillelagh for balance. "Changing twice in a day is exhausting.We have work to do. Two of us should go get the cart and bring it back the rest should start bringing the supplies from klargs cave to the mouth if the cave so we can loa it up and bring it back to town. Sildar can tell us what he knows of Gundrens fate while we work."
I vote we do what you suggested but keep 1 spare set 1 sword 1 bow and 1 shield in the cart just in case
Chronomancy!!!
Fjolnir starts picking up supplies and walking them to the mouth of the center of the room for export. "Well, glad you made it through the ordeal, Sildar!"
I wait until Sildar answers Fjolnir
"...And next time you ponder whether it was a good idea for Gundren to hire us keep in mind that HE was in fact the one that hired us and we had no obligation to save you.
Wizard Roll
4
14
Chronomancy!!!
Sildar sits up, looking much better than when you found him, thanks to Az Emberi. "Thank you all for coming to my rescue. I am in your debt. If I ever make it back to the great city of Waterdeep, I'll put in a good word for you with the Griffon Cavalry. I guess I should start from the begining.
I met Gundren Rockseeker in Neverwinter and agreed to accompany him back to Phandalin. I was looking to investigate the fate of Iarno Albrek, a fellow member of the Lords’ Alliance, who I haven't heard from in two months since he went to Phandalin. I hope to learn what happened to Iarno, assist Gundren in reopening the old mine, and help restore Phandalin to a civilized center of wealth and prosperity, in the name of the Lord's Alliance. We in the Alliance are focused on the safety of cities and other settlements by proactively eliminating threats by any means while bringing honor and glory to their leaders and homelands." He speaks in a very proud tone of his allegiance, it sounds as if he's reading it from a book, like he's recited that phrase many times.
The three Rockseeker brothers, Gundren, Tharden, and Nundro recently located an entrance to the long-lost Wave Echo Cave, site of the mines of the Phandelver’s Pact. More than five hundred years ago, clans of dwarves and gnomes made an agreement known as the Phandelver’s Pact, by which they would share a rich mine in a wondrous cavern known as Wave Echo Cave. In addition to its mineral wealth, the mine contained great magical power. Human spellcasters allied themselves with the dwarves and gnomes to channel and bind that energy into a great forge called the Forge of Spells, where magic items could be crafted. Times were good, and the nearby human town of Phandalin prospered as well. But then disaster struck when orcs swept through the North and laid waste to all in their path.
A powerful force of orcs reinforced by evil mercenary wizards attacked Wave Echo Cave to seize its riches and magic treasures. Human wizards fought alongside their dwarf and gnome allies to defend the Forge of Spells, and the ensuing spell battle destroyed much of the cavern. Few survived the cave-ins and tremors, and the location of Wave Echo Cave was lost.
For centuries, rumors of buried riches have attracted treasure seekers and opportunists to the area around Phandalin, but no one has ever succeeded in locating the lost mine until the Rockseekers recently uncovered it. We tried to keep it a secret, but somehow we were found out. Klarg, the bugbear who leads this goblin band, led, I should say, had orders to waylay Gundren. I heard from the goblins that the Black Spider sent word that the dwarf was to be brought to him. I don’t know who or what the Black Spider is.
Gundren had a map showing the secret location of Wave Echo Cave, but the goblins took it when they captured him. I believe that Klarg sent the map and the dwarf to the chief of the Cragmaws at a place called Cragmaw Castle. I don’t know where that might be, but someone in Phandalin might know.
I intend to continue on to Phandalin, since it’s the nearest settlement. I'm not in the best state right now, so I'd appreciate your able escort, in exchange I'll pay you 50 gold. Although I haves no money on me, I can secure a loan to pay you after getting to Phandalin. I trust you've cleared out out the cave? If so, let's get to Phandalin, post haste.
-We are all just one failed saving throw away from someone else's fantasy...
Fjolnir sighs heavily and scratches at his beard answering. "Yea... eh...we definitely need to get poor Gundren back safe, he's the feller what holds our contract after-all." He carries another box, getting ready to ship out. "...and we'll keep ya company heading there." He walks over toward the group and leans toward Dirk, "This guy is all honor and glory; will NOT be able to say if Phandalin has a red lantern district or if the pub has Ladies' Rooms..." and lets out a belabored raspberry exhale.
"Oh Fjolnir, I can make a brothel out of any maiden's bed... on a good day. Hmm, I can't seem to remember. Is the contract more than 95 gp 25 sp and 120 cp? Because I just made that, now."
Rainbow....... Mooo....
we need to get to the town to sell all of that anyway. We may as well guide him there we can decude our next move at the tavern as I sdid. The first round is on me.
*Retro*
Absinthe grabs Yeemik by the ankles and with all my might, proceed to repeatedly smash the life out of him by lifting him up and slamming him on the ground.
We have our original cart to be delivered, a bunch of crates marked wit a sigil we're taking to the town to either return or sell, and a bunch of crud we're selling from looting corpses all loaded up in the cart. And we're heading out to Phandelver with Sidlar at our side. I will again drive the cart.
You do that!
-We are all just one failed saving throw away from someone else's fantasy...