Last session the DM had us do 1d100 rolls periodically as we traveled. I got a 7 and we fought a homebrewed Deviljho from monster hunter. That was fun.
>be me, champion of the Badger Queen (homebrew minor deity, tarrasque-sized badger)
>palace gets invaded by the darn yuan-ti again (badgers and snakes don't get along very well)
>lead thousands of badgers into battle for da queen
>be distracted
>turn around
>badger queen got assassinated
>oh no
>win battle anyways
>be sad
>no leader
>the badgers want me to replace her until the badger mage learns resurrection spell
>ok
>be badger king
>I control the badgers now
>months later
>be in different fight
>big monster is making lots of wind and ice
>tell my badgers to burrow down for safety and follow me underground and prepare to help if needed
>we continue fighting it
>we are losing
>DM forgets the badgers exist below my feet
>get bright idea
>tell badgers to surface and bite the monster
>200 badgers stream out of the ground
>200d4 piercing damage
>badgers instakill it
Tl DR: DM's, please don't give a level 12 character access to an entire species of animals that worship them.
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Life is very busy unfortunately, gone from most Pbp's indefinitely. If you'd like to contact me, I am on Discord at GreatAxeblade#7595, always happy to chat :)
Yesterday my party travelled two miles through the forest, without even one random encounter, even though I was rolling every quarter mile, at a possibility rate of 30%.
It took us half an hour of real time to climb a set of steps, because most of the PCs kept failing their dex checks— at advantage, and a DC of 12– even though only one PC actually has a bad dexterity score. One character made it to the top while the others were only halfway up, and after another round of bad checks, I finally suggested that he might want to throw his companions a rope, because they kept falling back down, and I was afraid that if they fell all the way, they would die (they are level three, and were about 50 from the floor of the ravine at this point, with another 40 feet to go).
A minute later, I was very glad that I had suggested the rope (which lowered the DC to 10), because they were rolling worse than ever. At one point, the dwarf artificer (with a huge cannon strapped to his back) fell 15 feet before catching himself, and almost knocked two more PCs off along with him!
They eventually got up the stairs with no major casualties, although the druid NPC at the top had to heal them all from the rope burns!
And then there was the patch of razorvine, which took another thirty minutes of discussion, even though it was only 15 feet through, and there was a path through it.
And then, when they finally reached their destination, and began solving the puzzles that let them progress upwards through the tower, I discovered that I was somehow two puzzles short: there was no way for them to get to the top two floors. Which was very embarrassing. My players are all great people, though, and they took it in stride. They decided to explore the basement, which was just a regular lock on a trapdoor, and then call it a day. So now I need to find or invent two more puzzles for next week! All in all, though, it was a good game. We all had a lot of fun.
After blowing up God, who was also a giant metal snake and also apparently a failed AI, we proceeded to make a deal with a big man with metal arms who we had been enemies with for literally over a year, but made up with almost instantly, despite him literally killing the entire peasant population of the city we live in with a weird magical soul-exploding bomb about five minutes ago. Well, actually, we kinda caused it to kill all the peasants, it was originally going to blow up in the higher levels of the city, then one of our party members exploded the building it was in, causing it to fall below. After making the deal to go kill a giant robot dragon in exchange for the guy not blowing up people anymore and also some sweet magic items, we left the city only to watch it completely fall into ruins, two-thirds of the city falling apart. Luckily, my character's house was saved due to the efforts of my butler, who also happens to be an immortal being of immense power whose soul is tied to my house and its deed. But that's true for literally every butler in the setting, so nothing special.
Wow, this is a really weird campaign.
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"Ignorance is bliss, and you look absolutely miserable."
The sorcerer in our party had memory loss, which made him easy prey for a possessed magic item. In order to solve it, we dumped the staff. Into the Styx.
Last sesh was one of those unexpected nail bitters for players and DM alike.
I'm running my players through Ravenloft ( a bit reskinned since some of my players have way too much meta knowledge ). I turned The Durst Manor ( Death House ) into Fight Club. and I am playing the house like the Overlook Hotel from The Shinning. Also, instead of the Durst children on the street, the party met a quasi-tyler durdan and his alter ego out front of Lou's Tavern. :P Louis "I'm F*ck'in Lou" Durst began a fight club that evolved into a sadistic cult. Anyway, that is the basic theme of the house. The most influential change was giving the players a Sanity score ( 2x wisdom ) and reducing it every time they saw a new horror. I decided on a 1/5th scale so that every time the a player lost 1/5th of their sanity they would drop a level of 'mental exhaustion'. Such that...
When reaching each level a character will 'act out' for a minimum of 1d6 minutes. Other characters can calm, coerce, persuade etc. insane characters back to rationality but the more levels of insanity they have the harder this will become.
Insanity levels ( each should be flavored to your own particular crazy ) 1- suspicious or compulsive thoughts. 2- minor paranoia and compulsive behavior. 3- Hallucinations, increased paranoia resulting in physical and verbal outbursts and obvious erratic behavior. 4- Obsessive/Compulsive. Nothing matters but the focus of your madness and the alleviation of it. The mission, consequences, allegiances etc. are all secondary to 'what is really going on' in your mind. (either you are with me or you are against me). 5- full paranoia; self preservation above all else. The only options are escape, death, or giving in to the house. Trust no one!
So by the time the Party hits room 12a on the third floor, a fight breaks out amongst the party, it was almost a self inflicted TPK. The Death cleric had been teasing the Tabaxi paladin for months that everyone was out to skin her. So naturally when the tabaxi lost her mind she became convinced that other members of her party were out to skin her. The trickery cleric was just straight up paranoid as the house kept showing him images of his party betraying him, the barbarian became unquenchably thirsty and hungry to the point where he was picturing the other party members as hamburgers and hot dogs on legs. The coup de gras was the death cleric, who was making his saves so was not going crazy, ..him, I let the house treat like a celebrity; good food, wine, no crazy clowns attacking him...inspiring jealousy in the rest of the party. Before even I expected, the house drove them crazy enough to kill one another... the trickery cleric backstabs the barbarian, the paladin screams "stop looking at my FUR!" and attacks the Death cleric. It was wonderful, because my players really got into their crazy.
Addendum: Due to a crit fail on the paladin's part against the death cleric's intimidation roll, the party survived.
I originally posted the on the Kill List thread before I realized it was the wrong place. So...
A courtyard of a fort (used the Iron Keep map from Tactical Maps Reincarnated) with 4 orcs with 50 hit points each (makes them CR 1) and a orc blade of Ilneval. Players, who were in the keep's main building, came up with several plans:
Plan #1: Lure them inside with the smell of cooking food, set the room on fire, lock the doors and smoke them to death. I said, no, orcs are dumb, not that dumb. This isn't a comedy show! They're not going to go "ooo, nice smell! Lez follow nice smell! *sigh*
Plan #2 (by the rogue, for the rogue): Put out the fire, climb up the chimney, and jump out and land on their heads! I said: "The roof is 50 feet high. If you think you can survive that jump AND land on an orcs head, be my guest. +7 on Acrobatics can only go so far.
Plan #3: Sneak out and fireball? Me: That will set the courtyard on fire, the big boom will alert everyone on the fort (if the massive plumes of smoke don't), and probably trap you guys as well.
Plan #4 (the one they went with): CHARGE!!!
The fighter took on the Blade, and continually rolled 2-5s. Meanwhile I rolled 13-18s, continually. He ended the fight on 1 hit point. The wizard forgot about aggressive and was forced into melee. The rogue finally put the Blade out of our misery. After this was done, they killed a couple of hobgoblins in towers and took a short rest. In the last tower, there was only one hobgoblin, but he was the biggest one the PCs had ever seen. The fighter said "Yo, you want somma dis!" while poking his axe at the hobgoblins face. Hobgoblin General goes first. Hobgoblin General whoops the fighter three times, dealing around 65 dmg. Fighter only has 50 hp. Fighter: "This may have been a mistake". The wizard fireballed the place before the Hobgoblin killed her too, then the rogue critted a Sneak Attack = 1 very dead Hobgoblin Warlord. Then they got some treasure!
Later, the wizard wakes up, chases the rogue, and constantly yelled in game, "I NEED MY SPELLBOOK!" Later, rogue threatens to throw it into lava, wizard jumps on rogue, and they both fell down with the spellbook. Except the wizard grabbed their spellbook and cast fly before they could fall into the lava. Then, the party barbarian barely saved the rogue.
The Circle of Hedgehogs Druid Beholder/Animated Armor Level -20 Bardof the OIADSB Cult, here are our rules.Sig.Also a sauce council member, but it's been dead for a while.
Last session got a bit dark but was still cool and fun for RP drama, particularly at the end. I'm playing Sister Serena, 17 year old, naturally cheerful and positive minded aasimar life domain cleric of Pelor. In a setting where her nation (Solstice) has been involved in a hundred plus year long war and things are in general not looking all that great. Determined to do something to help change things for the better, Serena ran away from her temple to be a hero, fight the good fight, save innocents, etc. Despite having plenty of intellectual and abstract knowledge about how awful a war actually is, she has been quickly learning that actually being there is a lot different than reading about it in a book. Sister Serena has fallen into a team with Venn the tiefling sorcerer and Xanlar the half elf paladin (who just took Oath of Redemption when we leveled up to level 3 at the beginning of the session).
After leveling up and examining some minor magic items we got at the end of the previous session, we took a long rest beginning in the afternoon and woke, conveniently fully rested, in the middle of the night to a minor disturbance just before an enemy attack began on the little marshland fort we're stationed at. We fought a pair of bugbears (who have so far been the main soldiers of the Fravia, the enemy nation, that we've encountered) who were attacking the tent of the merchant that brings in supplies. Xanlar dropped one with a sleep spell and we killed the other without much difficulty then noticed that Kari, the merchant's tabaxi companion who has been serving as the camp cook, had been abducted, carried off by more bugbear soldiers. We rushed off to follow them, tracking them through the swamp (they didn't take time to cover their trail very well and we weren't far behind them). After tracking them to an abandoned cabin in the marsh, we heard sounds of violent struggle coming from inside and tried to approach stealthily...with two of the three of us in full chainmail. We killed four more bugbears that came out to fight us then went inside to find another, larger and tougher looking bugbear sexually assaulting a battered Kari. We killed him and the goblin that was also present, though both Venn and Xanlar went down at one point or another and Xanlar and Serena were both out of spell slots by the end of the fight. We checked on Kari, who staggered over and gouged the eyes out of the bugbear's dead skull before going to the other room to join us for a short rest. Afterwards, back to full health but with no spell slots, we headed back to the fort.
At this point I should mention that Serena sees sex as a sacred act, by which new life is made, and views **** as a particularly heinous blasphemy that defiles something holy. She's been having a rough few days trying to stay positive and optimistic after having jumped into the proverbial deep end of reality, and now she's seething with rage compounded by a lot of built up stress and anxiety. When we got back to the fort we found the already undermanned post even worse off after several "men" were lost in the fighting (did I mention that many of the remaining Solstice soldiers were teenage conscripts younger than Serena?) and they were debating what to do with three bugbear prisoners that had been subdued alive, including the one Xanlar put to sleep. Serena states her sad and even more disgusted conclusion that these enemies are irredeemably evil and we should just kill them so there are that many fewer to further plague the world. Xanlar argued against this and tried persuading the prisoners to give us information to justify us not killing them. Without going into detail, the prisoners were unrepentant and responded with taunts and threats that triggered Serena into first kicking the spokesman in the face and then, when he continued, burning him with a sacred flame. She then managed to intimidate him (DM decided she was scary enough to get advantage on the roll against his bravado by this point) into taunting her about an overwhelming force of orcs and ogres on their way with warbeasts and artillery. Serena then turned to the sergeant in command of the fort, suggested we make a strategic retreat as soon as possible, and pleaded that he please let her burn them to cinders before we left. The sergeant refused and Serena relented, mainly because of her ingrained respect for authority and the fact that she's clinging to the moral anchor of an authority structure larger than herself opposed to the horrid things she's been experiencing in an effort to not completely lose her shit.
Then we hear warhorns and battlecries and see birds bursting up over the trees as they flee in the path of what's obviously those enemy reinforcements approaching our jacked up, undermanned fort. While we are also still out of spells. And the session ended there. So big drama on multiple fronts.
It sounds like your DM likes to watch a lot of anime and get buzzed on unhealthy levels of caffeine and possibly a whole bunch of weed. Please, continue to share more as it progresses. It's giving me nostalgic flashbacks to college.
In my last session with my sorcerer in a descent into avernus game, we were in
Elturel as it was being pulled into hell
and came across a bridge guarded by devils. My sorcerer cast alter self to try and look like a devil herself, claiming the party were mortals she had enthralled, and one clutch deception roll (which I got to reroll because we're using Tasha's optional class features) later we got across the bridge without a fight.
So, we were facing this manticore (which had been the previous session's cliffhanger ending) and what does it do? Use its flame breath.
For max damage.
I went from 47 hp to 3. Who ordered the crispy rogue?
Anyway, we heal up a bit and find a tunnel blocked by boulders. One of them was fake, revealing a small living statue of a gnome who told us that Urglin (who we had earlier ticked off by getting him yote to the other side of reality) was waiting for us and wasn't too happy. The statue then gave us a cryptic message about the next level of the dungeon and promptly disintegrated.
Before heading down, we decide to check out the rest of the level we were on and we find this cavern that a small man called 'the antechamber of the garden of 1000 earthly delights.'
Yeah we all figured it was a trap...well all of us except the foppish sorcerer. The ranger had to drag him away. Surprise, surprise, the way out was blocked.
The paladin asked the little man to cut the mallarky and tell us what was going on. It was about then that the little man turned into a large dao. After the ranger used his grasping coils tattoo and restrained the dao for a good old fashioned beat down. The dao tried to get away, but still found themselves trapped in the magical tattoo's grasp. We asked them a few questions and when they revealed the deadly purpose of the chamber, the paladin went back on his promise to not attack the dao anymore. With the dao's cry of 'there is no honour in the Janessar!' They finally died.
So anyway that's pretty much how we made it to level 7.
This week we didn’t get much accomplished. My players spent the first half of the session discussing just how many people to hire to rebuild the manor and clear the road on their newly-acquired estate; the second half was spent clearing out a small ettercap nest. Thanks to some very high survival rolls (by the paladin, of all people!), they found a shack nearby as they were headed back home, but I was too tired and hurting to continue, so we wrapped up there. I just can’t believe that that took us four hours to complete! Ugh.
Last night my players negotiated an alliance between 2 races for full citizenship in the town, smoked some halfling weed the day before a big war started, and one almost got disintegrated.
The party are at the Rogue's Families Manor (He comes from a noble family) to find his family and the manor staff possessed by Yakfolk Warrior's. They are currently fighting the Rogue's possessed father.
Fighter: I grab my halberd and proceed to stab the Lord
Rogue: *Ahem*
Fighter: Err... non-lethally
Ranger: Yes, I would also like to headshot the Lord... non-lethally of course
Rogue: Can you guys stop disfiguring my father!?!
Ranger: I have this grenade (Alchemist's Fire), can I use this non-lethally?
Fighter: Oh right, I forgot to action surge. I use that and non-lethally stab the Lord through the face
Party of 4: Monk(myself), Sorceress, Rouge, and Dhampir. We went to investigate rumors of Dragon cultists in Thunder Tree, we definitely found them. I was used as bait and took captive to trick them, we managed to kill them all and learn of the dragon in the tower. We went to meet the dragon mistakenly thinking it would be friendly, it acted friendly until we got close enough then roasted all but myself. I had to trade everything we owned to the dragon so it would let me leave alive and find a way to help my friends. Stabilized the soceress and had to carry the other two to a Druid nearby who was into some weird stuff for help. Druid said the Dhampir will probably wake up fine, so we find out what happens to the rouge next session.
Party of 4: Monk(myself), Sorceress, Rouge, and Dhampir. We went to investigate rumors of Dragon cultists in Thunder Tree, we definitely found them. I was used as bait and took captive to trick them, we managed to kill them all and learn of the dragon in the tower. We went to meet the dragon mistakenly thinking it would be friendly, it acted friendly until we got close enough then roasted all but myself. I had to trade everything we owned to the dragon so it would let me leave alive and find a way to help my friends. Stabilized the soceress and had to carry the other two to a Druid nearby who was into some weird stuff for help. Druid said the Dhampir will probably wake up fine, so we find out what happens to the rouge next session.
Why did it accept the trade. If it kills you all it would have gotten the stuff too.
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This Mug immediately shared with me a transcendental tale of an Infinite Mug that anchors the Universe and keeps it from folding in on itself. I filed this report under "illogical nonsense" and asked why its sign is in Times New Roman font, when it is basic knowledge that Arial Black is a far superior font. I wondered: How did this mug even get past the assembly line with its theistic beliefs and poor font choices?
quote from Romantically Apocalyptic byVitaly S Alexius
Last session the DM had us do 1d100 rolls periodically as we traveled. I got a 7 and we fought a homebrewed Deviljho from monster hunter. That was fun.
>be me, champion of the Badger Queen (homebrew minor deity, tarrasque-sized badger)
>palace gets invaded by the darn yuan-ti again (badgers and snakes don't get along very well)
>lead thousands of badgers into battle for da queen
>be distracted
>turn around
>badger queen got assassinated
>oh no
>win battle anyways
>be sad
>no leader
>the badgers want me to replace her until the badger mage learns resurrection spell
>ok
>be badger king
>I control the badgers now
>months later
>be in different fight
>big monster is making lots of wind and ice
>tell my badgers to burrow down for safety and follow me underground and prepare to help if needed
>we continue fighting it
>we are losing
>DM forgets the badgers exist below my feet
>get bright idea
>tell badgers to surface and bite the monster
>200 badgers stream out of the ground
>200d4 piercing damage
>badgers instakill it
Tl DR: DM's, please don't give a level 12 character access to an entire species of animals that worship them.
Life is very busy unfortunately, gone from most Pbp's indefinitely.
If you'd like to contact me, I am on Discord at GreatAxeblade#7595, always happy to chat :)
Homebrew races: ~Otterfolk! Play as a otter!~ Playable Dryad! (Literally just the monster sheet ported to player race)
Sauce Archpriest!- Join the Supreme Court of Sauces! Join the Cult of Cults! EXTENDED SIGNATURE Tooltips
Yesterday my party travelled two miles through the forest, without even one random encounter, even though I was rolling every quarter mile, at a possibility rate of 30%.
It took us half an hour of real time to climb a set of steps, because most of the PCs kept failing their dex checks— at advantage, and a DC of 12– even though only one PC actually has a bad dexterity score. One character made it to the top while the others were only halfway up, and after another round of bad checks, I finally suggested that he might want to throw his companions a rope, because they kept falling back down, and I was afraid that if they fell all the way, they would die (they are level three, and were about 50 from the floor of the ravine at this point, with another 40 feet to go).
A minute later, I was very glad that I had suggested the rope (which lowered the DC to 10), because they were rolling worse than ever. At one point, the dwarf artificer (with a huge cannon strapped to his back) fell 15 feet before catching himself, and almost knocked two more PCs off along with him!
They eventually got up the stairs with no major casualties, although the druid NPC at the top had to heal them all from the rope burns!
And then there was the patch of razorvine, which took another thirty minutes of discussion, even though it was only 15 feet through, and there was a path through it.
And then, when they finally reached their destination, and began solving the puzzles that let them progress upwards through the tower, I discovered that I was somehow two puzzles short: there was no way for them to get to the top two floors. Which was very embarrassing. My players are all great people, though, and they took it in stride. They decided to explore the basement, which was just a regular lock on a trapdoor, and then call it a day. So now I need to find or invent two more puzzles for next week! All in all, though, it was a good game. We all had a lot of fun.
I live with several severe autoimmune conditions. If I don’t get back to you right away, it’s probably because I’m not feeling well.
After blowing up God, who was also a giant metal snake and also apparently a failed AI, we proceeded to make a deal with a big man with metal arms who we had been enemies with for literally over a year, but made up with almost instantly, despite him literally killing the entire peasant population of the city we live in with a weird magical soul-exploding bomb about five minutes ago. Well, actually, we kinda caused it to kill all the peasants, it was originally going to blow up in the higher levels of the city, then one of our party members exploded the building it was in, causing it to fall below. After making the deal to go kill a giant robot dragon in exchange for the guy not blowing up people anymore and also some sweet magic items, we left the city only to watch it completely fall into ruins, two-thirds of the city falling apart. Luckily, my character's house was saved due to the efforts of my butler, who also happens to be an immortal being of immense power whose soul is tied to my house and its deed. But that's true for literally every butler in the setting, so nothing special.
Wow, this is a really weird campaign.
"Ignorance is bliss, and you look absolutely miserable."
The sorcerer in our party had memory loss, which made him easy prey for a possessed magic item. In order to solve it, we dumped the staff. Into the Styx.
Last sesh was one of those unexpected nail bitters for players and DM alike.
I'm running my players through Ravenloft ( a bit reskinned since some of my players have way too much meta knowledge ). I turned The Durst Manor ( Death House ) into Fight Club. and I am playing the house like the Overlook Hotel from The Shinning. Also, instead of the Durst children on the street, the party met a quasi-tyler durdan and his alter ego out front of Lou's Tavern. :P Louis "I'm F*ck'in Lou" Durst began a fight club that evolved into a sadistic cult. Anyway, that is the basic theme of the house. The most influential change was giving the players a Sanity score ( 2x wisdom ) and reducing it every time they saw a new horror. I decided on a 1/5th scale so that every time the a player lost 1/5th of their sanity they would drop a level of 'mental exhaustion'. Such that...
When reaching each level a character will 'act out' for a minimum of 1d6 minutes. Other characters can calm, coerce, persuade etc. insane characters back to rationality but the more levels of insanity they have the harder this will become.
Insanity levels ( each should be flavored to your own particular crazy )
1- suspicious or compulsive thoughts.
2- minor paranoia and compulsive behavior.
3- Hallucinations, increased paranoia resulting in physical and verbal outbursts and obvious erratic behavior.
4- Obsessive/Compulsive. Nothing matters but the focus of your madness and the alleviation of it. The mission, consequences, allegiances etc. are all secondary to 'what is really going on' in your mind. (either you are with me or you are against me).
5- full paranoia; self preservation above all else. The only options are escape, death, or giving in to the house. Trust no one!
So by the time the Party hits room 12a on the third floor, a fight breaks out amongst the party, it was almost a self inflicted TPK. The Death cleric had been teasing the Tabaxi paladin for months that everyone was out to skin her. So naturally when the tabaxi lost her mind she became convinced that other members of her party were out to skin her. The trickery cleric was just straight up paranoid as the house kept showing him images of his party betraying him, the barbarian became unquenchably thirsty and hungry to the point where he was picturing the other party members as hamburgers and hot dogs on legs. The coup de gras was the death cleric, who was making his saves so was not going crazy, ..him, I let the house treat like a celebrity; good food, wine, no crazy clowns attacking him...inspiring jealousy in the rest of the party. Before even I expected, the house drove them crazy enough to kill one another... the trickery cleric backstabs the barbarian, the paladin screams "stop looking at my FUR!" and attacks the Death cleric. It was wonderful, because my players really got into their crazy.
Addendum: Due to a crit fail on the paladin's part against the death cleric's intimidation roll, the party survived.
My players were flogged and spent 10 day in prison
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Extended Signature, The Best Paradox, We all knew it.
I participate in the Level 20 Gladiator Arena with several champions they are all in my extended signature Win Streak: 0 Total Wins: 19 Total Loses: 6
I originally posted the on the Kill List thread before I realized it was the wrong place. So...
A courtyard of a fort (used the Iron Keep map from Tactical Maps Reincarnated) with 4 orcs with 50 hit points each (makes them CR 1) and a orc blade of Ilneval. Players, who were in the keep's main building, came up with several plans:
Plan #1: Lure them inside with the smell of cooking food, set the room on fire, lock the doors and smoke them to death. I said, no, orcs are dumb, not that dumb. This isn't a comedy show! They're not going to go "ooo, nice smell! Lez follow nice smell! *sigh*
Plan #2 (by the rogue, for the rogue): Put out the fire, climb up the chimney, and jump out and land on their heads! I said: "The roof is 50 feet high. If you think you can survive that jump AND land on an orcs head, be my guest. +7 on Acrobatics can only go so far.
Plan #3: Sneak out and fireball? Me: That will set the courtyard on fire, the big boom will alert everyone on the fort (if the massive plumes of smoke don't), and probably trap you guys as well.
Plan #4 (the one they went with): CHARGE!!!
The fighter took on the Blade, and continually rolled 2-5s. Meanwhile I rolled 13-18s, continually. He ended the fight on 1 hit point. The wizard forgot about aggressive and was forced into melee. The rogue finally put the Blade out of our misery. After this was done, they killed a couple of hobgoblins in towers and took a short rest. In the last tower, there was only one hobgoblin, but he was the biggest one the PCs had ever seen. The fighter said "Yo, you want somma dis!" while poking his axe at the hobgoblins face. Hobgoblin General goes first. Hobgoblin General whoops the fighter three times, dealing around 65 dmg. Fighter only has 50 hp. Fighter: "This may have been a mistake". The wizard fireballed the place before the Hobgoblin killed her too, then the rogue critted a Sneak Attack = 1 very dead Hobgoblin Warlord. Then they got some treasure!
I'm the Valar (leader and creator) of The Lord of the Rings/The Hobbit/Anything Tolkien Cult!
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Extended Sig
This is what happened in my session (as DM):
Wizard: Fell asleep.
Rogue: Stole spellbook.
Later, the wizard wakes up, chases the rogue, and constantly yelled in game, "I NEED MY SPELLBOOK!" Later, rogue threatens to throw it into lava, wizard jumps on rogue, and they both fell down with the spellbook. Except the wizard grabbed their spellbook and cast fly before they could fall into the lava. Then, the party barbarian barely saved the rogue.
The Circle of Hedgehogs Druid Beholder/Animated Armor Level -20 Bard of the OIADSB Cult, here are our rules. Sig. Also a sauce council member, but it's been dead for a while.
Last session got a bit dark but was still cool and fun for RP drama, particularly at the end. I'm playing Sister Serena, 17 year old, naturally cheerful and positive minded aasimar life domain cleric of Pelor. In a setting where her nation (Solstice) has been involved in a hundred plus year long war and things are in general not looking all that great. Determined to do something to help change things for the better, Serena ran away from her temple to be a hero, fight the good fight, save innocents, etc. Despite having plenty of intellectual and abstract knowledge about how awful a war actually is, she has been quickly learning that actually being there is a lot different than reading about it in a book. Sister Serena has fallen into a team with Venn the tiefling sorcerer and Xanlar the half elf paladin (who just took Oath of Redemption when we leveled up to level 3 at the beginning of the session).
After leveling up and examining some minor magic items we got at the end of the previous session, we took a long rest beginning in the afternoon and woke, conveniently fully rested, in the middle of the night to a minor disturbance just before an enemy attack began on the little marshland fort we're stationed at. We fought a pair of bugbears (who have so far been the main soldiers of the Fravia, the enemy nation, that we've encountered) who were attacking the tent of the merchant that brings in supplies. Xanlar dropped one with a sleep spell and we killed the other without much difficulty then noticed that Kari, the merchant's tabaxi companion who has been serving as the camp cook, had been abducted, carried off by more bugbear soldiers. We rushed off to follow them, tracking them through the swamp (they didn't take time to cover their trail very well and we weren't far behind them). After tracking them to an abandoned cabin in the marsh, we heard sounds of violent struggle coming from inside and tried to approach stealthily...with two of the three of us in full chainmail. We killed four more bugbears that came out to fight us then went inside to find another, larger and tougher looking bugbear sexually assaulting a battered Kari. We killed him and the goblin that was also present, though both Venn and Xanlar went down at one point or another and Xanlar and Serena were both out of spell slots by the end of the fight. We checked on Kari, who staggered over and gouged the eyes out of the bugbear's dead skull before going to the other room to join us for a short rest. Afterwards, back to full health but with no spell slots, we headed back to the fort.
At this point I should mention that Serena sees sex as a sacred act, by which new life is made, and views **** as a particularly heinous blasphemy that defiles something holy. She's been having a rough few days trying to stay positive and optimistic after having jumped into the proverbial deep end of reality, and now she's seething with rage compounded by a lot of built up stress and anxiety. When we got back to the fort we found the already undermanned post even worse off after several "men" were lost in the fighting (did I mention that many of the remaining Solstice soldiers were teenage conscripts younger than Serena?) and they were debating what to do with three bugbear prisoners that had been subdued alive, including the one Xanlar put to sleep. Serena states her sad and even more disgusted conclusion that these enemies are irredeemably evil and we should just kill them so there are that many fewer to further plague the world. Xanlar argued against this and tried persuading the prisoners to give us information to justify us not killing them. Without going into detail, the prisoners were unrepentant and responded with taunts and threats that triggered Serena into first kicking the spokesman in the face and then, when he continued, burning him with a sacred flame. She then managed to intimidate him (DM decided she was scary enough to get advantage on the roll against his bravado by this point) into taunting her about an overwhelming force of orcs and ogres on their way with warbeasts and artillery. Serena then turned to the sergeant in command of the fort, suggested we make a strategic retreat as soon as possible, and pleaded that he please let her burn them to cinders before we left. The sergeant refused and Serena relented, mainly because of her ingrained respect for authority and the fact that she's clinging to the moral anchor of an authority structure larger than herself opposed to the horrid things she's been experiencing in an effort to not completely lose her shit.
Then we hear warhorns and battlecries and see birds bursting up over the trees as they flee in the path of what's obviously those enemy reinforcements approaching our jacked up, undermanned fort. While we are also still out of spells. And the session ended there. So big drama on multiple fronts.
It sounds like your DM likes to watch a lot of anime and get buzzed on unhealthy levels of caffeine and possibly a whole bunch of weed. Please, continue to share more as it progresses. It's giving me nostalgic flashbacks to college.
Wow that's pretty bad ass. Sounds like it would be fun, and probably less of a hassle when you have magic at your disposal.
It's ok Ranger, you'll always be cool to me.. Unless druid gets another use for its wild shape charges.
In my last session with my sorcerer in a descent into avernus game, we were in
Elturel as it was being pulled into hell
and came across a bridge guarded by devils. My sorcerer cast alter self to try and look like a devil herself, claiming the party were mortals she had enthralled, and one clutch deception roll (which I got to reroll because we're using Tasha's optional class features) later we got across the bridge without a fight.
So, we were facing this manticore (which had been the previous session's cliffhanger ending) and what does it do? Use its flame breath.
For max damage.
I went from 47 hp to 3. Who ordered the crispy rogue?
Anyway, we heal up a bit and find a tunnel blocked by boulders. One of them was fake, revealing a small living statue of a gnome who told us that Urglin (who we had earlier ticked off by getting him yote to the other side of reality) was waiting for us and wasn't too happy. The statue then gave us a cryptic message about the next level of the dungeon and promptly disintegrated.
Before heading down, we decide to check out the rest of the level we were on and we find this cavern that a small man called 'the antechamber of the garden of 1000 earthly delights.'
Yeah we all figured it was a trap...well all of us except the foppish sorcerer. The ranger had to drag him away. Surprise, surprise, the way out was blocked.
The paladin asked the little man to cut the mallarky and tell us what was going on. It was about then that the little man turned into a large dao. After the ranger used his grasping coils tattoo and restrained the dao for a good old fashioned beat down. The dao tried to get away, but still found themselves trapped in the magical tattoo's grasp. We asked them a few questions and when they revealed the deadly purpose of the chamber, the paladin went back on his promise to not attack the dao anymore. With the dao's cry of 'there is no honour in the Janessar!' They finally died.
So anyway that's pretty much how we made it to level 7.
This week we didn’t get much accomplished. My players spent the first half of the session discussing just how many people to hire to rebuild the manor and clear the road on their newly-acquired estate; the second half was spent clearing out a small ettercap nest. Thanks to some very high survival rolls (by the paladin, of all people!), they found a shack nearby as they were headed back home, but I was too tired and hurting to continue, so we wrapped up there. I just can’t believe that that took us four hours to complete! Ugh.
I live with several severe autoimmune conditions. If I don’t get back to you right away, it’s probably because I’m not feeling well.
Last night my players negotiated an alliance between 2 races for full citizenship in the town, smoked some halfling weed the day before a big war started, and one almost got disintegrated.
The party are at the Rogue's Families Manor (He comes from a noble family) to find his family and the manor staff possessed by Yakfolk Warrior's. They are currently fighting the Rogue's possessed father.
Fighter: I grab my halberd and proceed to stab the Lord
Rogue: *Ahem*
Fighter: Err... non-lethally
Ranger: Yes, I would also like to headshot the Lord... non-lethally of course
Rogue: Can you guys stop disfiguring my father!?!
Ranger: I have this grenade (Alchemist's Fire), can I use this non-lethally?
Fighter: Oh right, I forgot to action surge. I use that and non-lethally stab the Lord through the face
Party of 4: Monk(myself), Sorceress, Rouge, and Dhampir. We went to investigate rumors of Dragon cultists in Thunder Tree, we definitely found them. I was used as bait and took captive to trick them, we managed to kill them all and learn of the dragon in the tower. We went to meet the dragon mistakenly thinking it would be friendly, it acted friendly until we got close enough then roasted all but myself. I had to trade everything we owned to the dragon so it would let me leave alive and find a way to help my friends. Stabilized the soceress and had to carry the other two to a Druid nearby who was into some weird stuff for help. Druid said the Dhampir will probably wake up fine, so we find out what happens to the rouge next session.
Why did it accept the trade. If it kills you all it would have gotten the stuff too.
This Mug immediately shared with me a transcendental tale of an Infinite Mug that anchors the Universe and keeps it from folding in on itself. I filed this report under "illogical nonsense" and asked why its sign is in Times New Roman font, when it is basic knowledge that Arial Black is a far superior font. I wondered: How did this mug even get past the assembly line with its theistic beliefs and poor font choices?
quote from Romantically Apocalyptic by Vitaly S Alexius
We were in a flashback session to make up for a lost time. If we had died then we couldn't have been there to play the future selves we had already.