My 9yo daughter has no trouble grasping the basic mechanics and following the action. Her character (PotC Archfey Warlock Shifter) is a little complicated for her, but honestly most adult players I have also forget a lot of their PC features.
My 5yo daughter understands dice rolling and what an "action" is in the basic sense, but doesn't really grasp what we're doing at the table with any depth. She knows who the bad guys are in a fight, though, and can read the numbers off her dice.
I plan to start my daughter on Golden Sky Stories around age 5 or 6 to lay down the foundation of RPGs and roleplaying without quite as much complexity as 5e. When and where we go from there depends on her.
I was a dungeon master, created my own dungeon and ran a solo player through it when I was 11. That was Basic Dungeons & Dragons in 1982.
I would say you need to be able to read/write, ideally do basic subtraction. I think you can create a story that doesn't required any skills other than to be able to listen and make decisions and basic combat and have fun 8-9 years old. But to truly break into the full blown rules, 13-14.
12 or so for me. My friend’s dad came back from deployment and didn’t have anybody to game with so he recruited us to be his group. We were terrible dramatic edge lords but rules weren’t an issue. The guy gming my FATE game ran his kids through Phandelver last year, I think the youngest is 8.
I started playing when I was 9 or 10 years old, IIRC. I certainly could have understood the basic concepts a few years sooner, I just wasn't exposed to the game before then.
Largely because I was born in 1971, so, in 1980 and 1981 the game just wasn't as accessible. I'd heard of it, and wanted to try playing, even younger - age 7 or 8, I believe - but my father misunderstood, and got the boardgame Dungeon! ... not quite what I had in mind, but still loads of fun. (Bonus points: it took dad longer to figure out the rules, than it took me).
...
If you want a game to play with your 3yo, D&D probably isn't it.
However, there are more games out there than D&D. Some of them - "Hero Kids", IIRC - are even written specifically for much younger kids. Look into those; I'm sure if you explain it to your kiddo as "we'll start with this, and move to D&D when you're older - just like you learn to ride a kid's bike, and only try adult bikes when you're older", he'll be 100% okay with the idea. :)
Red Box 4th grade, so like ten, and became acquainted with at the time AD&D the following year around 11. It was mostly messing around, very casual play, no consistent campaigns or anything, until Jr. High, so around 13 or so I started "really" playing.
My oldest daughter was exposed to very rules light D&D when she was nine. A few months after that, friends of mine with my daughter in on the plot threw a one shot together for me as a surprise birthday party. I had a great time so got back into the hobby. I currently run a game over Zoom as DM with two adults one eleven year old, three ten year olds, and a seven year old (my younger daughter) as players. The "bloated" party actually works as sometimes there's indecision, so we will sometimes skip past players on hesitation and give them an opportunity to react to another characters actions by round's end, having two adults in the zoom room as players helps too. Everyone except one of the adults and me are relatively unfamiliar with the hobby so sometimes there's a slowdown over identifying dice etc. I think the learning curve would have been faster had we all been able to meet in person for a session or two, but we're in a serious social distancing environment. The seven year old I don't think really has the attention for the combat rounds, but does follow the story arc pretty well.
I think success is aided also by some adjacent lore immersion. Both my daughters and all the other kids were steeped in Harry Potter when younger, and all have at least a passing acquaintance with LOTR. We're actually playing a heavily adapted version of Descent into Avernus (published NPCs reworked and expanded and new NPCs added to act as sorts of signposts to the larger story) because when we read The Two Towers where Gandalf refuses to go into detail in his account of the underworld after his fight with Balrog, my oldest said, "Cool! I want to go there!"
Some observations over the past three-ish months of play:
Some players pick up magic mechanics well, other don't, but I don't think that is an age thing so much as the normal learning curve uptake issue in getting the game's magic systems.
Not sure if it's a gender thing (all the child players are girls) or a generational thing, or an age thing, but the party regards violence as a last resort, preferring to talk, sneak or hide. That said, they don't have any problem at all with vandalism and more proper roguish behavior like stealing, and acting as chaos agents (I think in that last regard they're simply "testing" the world).
VTT stuff too distracting, they're fluent in video chats though, and use the text chat to strategize. I screen share maps and such, when we need a map.
Relatedly to the chaos agency, if slapstick can be inserted into the action, they're more engaged. Animated skeletons responding only to simple commands will stop and high five each other unless commanded to attack another target. They sometimes come up with each others consequences for Nat 1s, etc. We did a prologue session where the party found themselves performing a water based rescue of some refugees (basically to get them used to ability/skill checks in an urgent but not combat environment). They had more fun getting soggy in that environment than their later battle with the pirates responsible for the accident that necessitated the rescue.
Wanted to throw in another option for parents - No Thank You, Evil! is a really fun D&D lite that my 4 year old loves. Very open, tons of space for creativity, and three levels of character complexity for different ages. Also very easy to make up adventures - my wife just ran one based on Among Us and I'm doing one based on a treasure map my kid drew.
I ran for my friend's kids a 5 year old and his slightly older brother once. D&D is a game of make-believe with rules. Kids accel at that stuff. You might have to do some heavy lifting with the rules, but why not?
My 9yo daughter has no trouble grasping the basic mechanics and following the action. Her character (PotC Archfey Warlock Shifter) is a little complicated for her, but honestly most adult players I have also forget a lot of their PC features.
My 5yo daughter understands dice rolling and what an "action" is in the basic sense, but doesn't really grasp what we're doing at the table with any depth. She knows who the bad guys are in a fight, though, and can read the numbers off her dice.
I plan to start my daughter on Golden Sky Stories around age 5 or 6 to lay down the foundation of RPGs and roleplaying without quite as much complexity as 5e. When and where we go from there depends on her.
My homebrew subclasses (full list here)
(Artificer) Swordmage | Glasswright | (Barbarian) Path of the Savage Embrace
(Bard) College of Dance | (Fighter) Warlord | Cannoneer
(Monk) Way of the Elements | (Ranger) Blade Dancer
(Rogue) DaggerMaster | Inquisitor | (Sorcerer) Riftwalker | Spellfist
(Warlock) The Swarm
I was a dungeon master, created my own dungeon and ran a solo player through it when I was 11. That was Basic Dungeons & Dragons in 1982.
I would say you need to be able to read/write, ideally do basic subtraction. I think you can create a story that doesn't required any skills other than to be able to listen and make decisions and basic combat and have fun 8-9 years old. But to truly break into the full blown rules, 13-14.
12 or so for me. My friend’s dad came back from deployment and didn’t have anybody to game with so he recruited us to be his group. We were terrible dramatic edge lords but rules weren’t an issue. The guy gming my FATE game ran his kids through Phandelver last year, I think the youngest is 8.
I started playing when I was 9 or 10 years old, IIRC. I certainly could have understood the basic concepts a few years sooner, I just wasn't exposed to the game before then.
Largely because I was born in 1971, so, in 1980 and 1981 the game just wasn't as accessible. I'd heard of it, and wanted to try playing, even younger - age 7 or 8, I believe - but my father misunderstood, and got the boardgame Dungeon! ... not quite what I had in mind, but still loads of fun. (Bonus points: it took dad longer to figure out the rules, than it took me).
...
If you want a game to play with your 3yo, D&D probably isn't it.
However, there are more games out there than D&D. Some of them - "Hero Kids", IIRC - are even written specifically for much younger kids. Look into those; I'm sure if you explain it to your kiddo as "we'll start with this, and move to D&D when you're older - just like you learn to ride a kid's bike, and only try adult bikes when you're older", he'll be 100% okay with the idea. :)
Red Box 4th grade, so like ten, and became acquainted with at the time AD&D the following year around 11. It was mostly messing around, very casual play, no consistent campaigns or anything, until Jr. High, so around 13 or so I started "really" playing.
My oldest daughter was exposed to very rules light D&D when she was nine. A few months after that, friends of mine with my daughter in on the plot threw a one shot together for me as a surprise birthday party. I had a great time so got back into the hobby. I currently run a game over Zoom as DM with two adults one eleven year old, three ten year olds, and a seven year old (my younger daughter) as players. The "bloated" party actually works as sometimes there's indecision, so we will sometimes skip past players on hesitation and give them an opportunity to react to another characters actions by round's end, having two adults in the zoom room as players helps too. Everyone except one of the adults and me are relatively unfamiliar with the hobby so sometimes there's a slowdown over identifying dice etc. I think the learning curve would have been faster had we all been able to meet in person for a session or two, but we're in a serious social distancing environment. The seven year old I don't think really has the attention for the combat rounds, but does follow the story arc pretty well.
I think success is aided also by some adjacent lore immersion. Both my daughters and all the other kids were steeped in Harry Potter when younger, and all have at least a passing acquaintance with LOTR. We're actually playing a heavily adapted version of Descent into Avernus (published NPCs reworked and expanded and new NPCs added to act as sorts of signposts to the larger story) because when we read The Two Towers where Gandalf refuses to go into detail in his account of the underworld after his fight with Balrog, my oldest said, "Cool! I want to go there!"
Some observations over the past three-ish months of play:
Jander Sunstar is the thinking person's Drizzt, fight me.
I started playing D&D when I was eight.
A fool pulls the leaves. A brute chops the trunk. A sage digs the roots.
My Improved Lineage System
My 7 year old now almost 9. He had it down pat at 7
I think I started playing around 12 or 13 when Advanced D&D was brand new and actually sold in places like Sears and JC Pennys.
My daughter started RPG's around 8? She's currently 9 and plays Genesys and D&D (two different systems) along with understanding how roll20 works.
7
My siblings and I started to play when my little brother was 9 or 10. He totally got it. We still play often.
Keep your friends close, and enemies closer.
my brother started playing at 7 and myself at 9.
Head Sorcerer and creator of the worshippers of Levi Rocks
Guys I just turned 11 and I've been playing for like two years
Wanted to throw in another option for parents - No Thank You, Evil! is a really fun D&D lite that my 4 year old loves. Very open, tons of space for creativity, and three levels of character complexity for different ages. Also very easy to make up adventures - my wife just ran one based on Among Us and I'm doing one based on a treasure map my kid drew.
My homebrew subclasses (full list here)
(Artificer) Swordmage | Glasswright | (Barbarian) Path of the Savage Embrace
(Bard) College of Dance | (Fighter) Warlord | Cannoneer
(Monk) Way of the Elements | (Ranger) Blade Dancer
(Rogue) DaggerMaster | Inquisitor | (Sorcerer) Riftwalker | Spellfist
(Warlock) The Swarm
I am in my forties and been playing for over 30 years, I still don't understand it.
I started at age 10 back in 1977...
I could have probably grasped the game sooner but 10 was my first exposure to it.
I ran for my friend's kids a 5 year old and his slightly older brother once. D&D is a game of make-believe with rules. Kids accel at that stuff. You might have to do some heavy lifting with the rules, but why not?
Oh, I don't lift the rules I play exactly how you are supposed too. I love this game and have run three campaigns (I'm a dungeon master not a player)
I read this entire chat and I’m the youngest player to start dnd. Note: dnd was really easy for me, it took me a day to learn.